Republican National Committe Convention Schedule

[DroppinScience]

A friend of mine wrote this. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :D

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Freedom Fries served
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[Marlene]

i guess he works for the RNC, huh?

[GreenEarthAl]

They're probably pissed to have had this leak out so early. They'll probably have to change some of it now.

[Rich Cheney]

Childish.

Have I made childish comments in the past? Sure, although it doesn't change the fact that material was childish indeed.

[sneakyimp]

oh DICK, you are so woefully mature.

PS: Your namesake is an evil, evil man.

[DroppinScience]

Childish.

Have I made childish comments in the past? Sure, although it doesn't change the fact that material was childish indeed.

Oh grow up, Dickie. The truth is very childish among today's current crop of GOPers.

If it makes you feel any better, your namesake won't participate in the Presidential beer bongs, ok?

Now grow a sense of humor!

[DforDustin]

Childish.

Have I made childish comments in the past? Sure, although it doesn't change the fact that material was childish indeed.


WTF?

It was funny.

[Leviathan]

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself



I don't think Jesus would've been a Republican...

[DroppinScience]

Buuuuuuuuuump!!!

Guys, the RNC is only a week away. You GOPers need to know the itinerary. ;)

[Echewta]

Pauli just made the point that the convention starts the same week as schools do. Good planning and timing.

[TheWedge]

It may be childish, but I got almost the exact same thing right before the DNC from a Republican friend. It was equally "childish" but equally funny.
Every other scheduled event was Ted Kennedy making a toast.

[DroppinScience]

Do you still have it? Wouldn't mind seeing it. :)

Personally I liked what The Onion said the DNC had planned: "Public abortions every hour on the hour." Hahahaha!

[TheWedge]

Check back in a couple of hours, I will type it up when I get home.
(y)

[TheWedge]

Ah-ite bitchez here 'tiz:

2004 DNC Itinerary

6:00 pm- Opening flag burning ceremony
6:00 pm- Opening secular prayers by Rev Al Sharpton & Rev Jesse Jackson
6:30 pm- Anti-war concert by Barbara Striesand
6:40 pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:00 pm- Tribute theme to France
7:10 pm- Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defens fund
7:25 pm- Tribute theme to Germany
7:45 pm- Anti-war rally moderated by Michael Moore
8:25 pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:30 pm- Terrorist appeasement workshop
9:00 pm- Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
9:30 pm- Intermission
10:00 pm- Posting the Iraqi colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 pm- Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss
10:20 pm- Cameo by Dean "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAG!!!!"
10:30 pm- Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40 pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:50 pm- Pledge of allegiance to the UN
11:00 pm- Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex)
11:15 pm- Maximizing welfare workshop
11:30 pm- "Free Sadam" pep rally
11:59 pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:00 am- Nomination of Democratic candidate

Any chance we could get Ted to drive Hillary home?
************************************************** *****

Equally childish, but lighter on the funny, IMO.

[DroppinScience]

I don't know about you, but I like that DNC itinerary. :p

[abdulmohammad]

Not much has changed DroppinScience, you're still a massive fag.

[TheWedge]

Not much has changed DroppinScience, you're still a massive fag.

And you are still an eloquent speaker who brings mad insight to the discussion.
Bravo!
Double bravo for the "fag" line.
Homophobia is the new white power.
Congratulations.

[EN[i]GMA]

It's the drive-by idiot!

[DroppinScience]

Not much has changed DroppinScience, you're still a massive fag.

Hey abdul, so nice to see ya! :D

How's it like to be an Uncle Tom? Still voting for your "massa," Bush?

[GreenEarthAl]

http://www.buffstatepeace.org/campaigns/Republikids.mp3

Some music I composed under some answering machine messages that folks felt inclined to leave on the answering machine for the organizers of the RNC protest trip.