ASsman
10-27-2004, 04:09 PM
Fav. List.
If at all possible, vote before work. That way, you can make smug comments to non-voters all day long.
If your election official hooks you up to a machine via a needle in your arm, you are actually donating blood.
Many newspapers offer sample ballots. Buy 10 copies and practice, practice, practice.
Remember to vote, or P. Diddy will kill you.
This is one of the most important elections in recent times, so it's best if you just leave it up to the pros.
Remember to take the day off to vote. And the day before, to psyche up. And the morning after, to dry out.
(super funny)
If you are black and a resident of Florida, work out two or three alternate routes to your polling place to avoid police checkpoints.
If you live in Florida, for Christ's sake, look at the ballot very, very carefully this time.
Education is the issue Americans say is most important. Find someone with one of those to read the ballot to you.
Keep in mind that the name of every person who votes against George Bush is going to be read aloud on television the next time we're attacked by terrorists.
If you don't know where the polling place is in your district, just try to remember the ugliest, dingiest, most depressing building in a three-mile radius. That's probably it.
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4043&n=10
If at all possible, vote before work. That way, you can make smug comments to non-voters all day long.
If your election official hooks you up to a machine via a needle in your arm, you are actually donating blood.
Many newspapers offer sample ballots. Buy 10 copies and practice, practice, practice.
Remember to vote, or P. Diddy will kill you.
This is one of the most important elections in recent times, so it's best if you just leave it up to the pros.
Remember to take the day off to vote. And the day before, to psyche up. And the morning after, to dry out.
(super funny)
If you are black and a resident of Florida, work out two or three alternate routes to your polling place to avoid police checkpoints.
If you live in Florida, for Christ's sake, look at the ballot very, very carefully this time.
Education is the issue Americans say is most important. Find someone with one of those to read the ballot to you.
Keep in mind that the name of every person who votes against George Bush is going to be read aloud on television the next time we're attacked by terrorists.
If you don't know where the polling place is in your district, just try to remember the ugliest, dingiest, most depressing building in a three-mile radius. That's probably it.
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4043&n=10