ASsman
11-30-2004, 07:07 PM
By Scott Tobias
The day after President Bush was re-elected, The Daily Show's Jon Stewart speculated that half the nation had resoundingly declared that they don't really care for Will & Grace. Those same viewers probably weren't responsible for making Bravo's Queer Eye For The Straight Guy a smash, either. So where in the vast expanse of cable television do Red State people turn for entertainment?
Try the Outdoor Life Network, a 24/7 cycle of frugal productions that balance a love of the outdoors with an utter contempt for nature. While the pansies at The Nature Channel or Animal Planet are off observing the wild, the folks at OLN are doing something about it, whether blasting away with double-barreled shotguns or traversing land and sea in souped-up stock cars, "super boats," and all-terrain vehicles. In the documentary Super Size Me, director Morgan Spurlock indicted McDonald's by becoming its "perfect customer," eating all his meals at the fast-food chain every day for a month, and doing serious damage to his body in the process. By contrast, it only takes 12 hours of the Outdoor Life Network to reduce the uninitiated to drooling vegetables. Here's the schedule as it was from noon to midnight Eastern Standard Time, on Saturday, Nov. 13.
12 p.m.: Turkey Call.
Tired of driving for hours to reach the nation's rapidly dwindling wilderness areas in order to shoot wild turkeys? On this week's show, host Rob Keck goes to New Jersey, where "suburban gobblers" have proven highly adaptable to the modern world. Since the law prevents people from opening fire on the Interstate, two Wild Turkey Federation members, camouflaged in hooded fatigues like the Mujaheddin, stake out a local farm instead. Final score: Humans 2, Gobblers 0.
(it continues)...
http://www.theonionavclub.com/feature/index.php?issue=4048&f=2
The day after President Bush was re-elected, The Daily Show's Jon Stewart speculated that half the nation had resoundingly declared that they don't really care for Will & Grace. Those same viewers probably weren't responsible for making Bravo's Queer Eye For The Straight Guy a smash, either. So where in the vast expanse of cable television do Red State people turn for entertainment?
Try the Outdoor Life Network, a 24/7 cycle of frugal productions that balance a love of the outdoors with an utter contempt for nature. While the pansies at The Nature Channel or Animal Planet are off observing the wild, the folks at OLN are doing something about it, whether blasting away with double-barreled shotguns or traversing land and sea in souped-up stock cars, "super boats," and all-terrain vehicles. In the documentary Super Size Me, director Morgan Spurlock indicted McDonald's by becoming its "perfect customer," eating all his meals at the fast-food chain every day for a month, and doing serious damage to his body in the process. By contrast, it only takes 12 hours of the Outdoor Life Network to reduce the uninitiated to drooling vegetables. Here's the schedule as it was from noon to midnight Eastern Standard Time, on Saturday, Nov. 13.
12 p.m.: Turkey Call.
Tired of driving for hours to reach the nation's rapidly dwindling wilderness areas in order to shoot wild turkeys? On this week's show, host Rob Keck goes to New Jersey, where "suburban gobblers" have proven highly adaptable to the modern world. Since the law prevents people from opening fire on the Interstate, two Wild Turkey Federation members, camouflaged in hooded fatigues like the Mujaheddin, stake out a local farm instead. Final score: Humans 2, Gobblers 0.
(it continues)...
http://www.theonionavclub.com/feature/index.php?issue=4048&f=2