Beet Poetry

[MC Moot]

"The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly is more feverish, but the fire of a radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious,
Slavic peoples get their physical characteristics from potatoes, their smoldering inquietude from radishes, and their seriousness from beets.
The beet is a melancholy vegetable, the one most willing to suffer. You can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip.
The beet is the murderer returned to the scene of the crime. The beet is what happens when the cherry finishes with the carrot. The beet is the ancient ancestor of the autumn moon, bearded, buried all but fossilized; the dark green sails of the grounded moon-boat stitched with veins of primordial plasma; the kite string that once connected the moon to the Earth now a muddy whisker drilling desperately for rubies.
The beet was Rasputin’s favorite vegetable.
You could see it in his eyes.
An old Ukrainian proverb warns, “A tale that begins with a beet will end with the devil.”
That is a risk we have to take......"

The preamble to "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins


I hate beets! But I like Borscht anyone,know how to make it? ;)

[HEIRESS]

beets done right:

boil them
peel skin off
cut into slices
sprinkle with olive oil, salt, pepper, thyme and rosemary
roast for half an hour or so

they go really well with roasted potatoes, carrots, parsnips, squash or yams

beets truly are one of my favorite vegetables

dont even get me started on pickled beets cause goddamn I can eat a whole jarful

oh and I dont really like borscht, mostly because I ate so much as a kid since my moms familia is all ukranian

[Lindsey_1535]

Pickled beets are my favorite. :D (y)
YUM!!

[jabumbo]

i like pickled beets

and the borscht is allright, only had it a couple times.


beets look kind of crappy when you buy them though. i am used to the canned ones though

[JBernas]

to me they taste like soap (n) I do like the beet greens on top though...it's kinda like spinach and swiss chard.

[cosmo105]

beets scare me. i remember the canned ones at the restaurant i used to work at always smelled like dirt. the ones we get in fresh at my store are always covered with mud and it's pretty gross. and they turn your wee pink, which, now that i think about it, is pretty awesome. why does asparagus make your pee stink so bad? man. crazy.

[ToucanSpam]

OK who remembers that fucking commercial on TV with the blue puppets singing about how if you don't know what something is, dont put it in your mouth?

Ok, so at one point in the song, a beet comes out and sings "Like a muffin or a beet!!!" Scared the shit out fo me. Then at the end of the fucker, the Lion comes out and says:

"Always ask your parents about putting something in your mouth before you do it." or some junk.

Scared the hell out of me. :(

[Lindsey_1535]

FUCK AYYAYAYYAAAAA!!!
That commercial was the fuckin shit. I like sing it in the bath. (y)

[HEIRESS]

donchu put it in your mouth dont you stuff in your FACE!!!!!!

that commercial was always on during cartoon hour from 3-4 on CBC

I liked the anti-drugs one with the puppet kids and the drug dealer and all I remember is how the boy puppet says "well, Inevareallythoughtaboutit"

and they had versions of it, one that ran earlier in the day and one that ran later in the evening cause the evening version was like pg-13 cause in the end they showed the drug dealer puppets face and it was all fucked up and gross and stuff ACKACAKCKAKC

OH OH and the other "dont do drugs" one where they played the Hollies "he aint heavy he's my brother" and showed the guy going to see his brother in re-hab *sniff sniff*

[Lindsey_1535]

Drugs drugs drugs, drugs are good drugs are bad. Drugs drugs drugs, ask your mom or ask your dad!

[HEIRESS]

YEAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and didnt that one have a little conga-line of kids and parents

[ms.peachy]

The preamble to "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins


I love that book. I love Robbins in general, he is a master wordsmith. Occasionally he is a bit overly-clever and too pleased with himself. I didn't enjoy Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates for this reason, and there are bits of Half Asleep in Frog Pyjamas I think were smug and overdone. However when he is at the top of his game, and Jitterbug Perfume is certainly a good example of that, he is marvelous.

I hate beets! But I like Borscht anyone,know how to make it? ;)
Borscht is one of those things, not unlike a curry, where like every region has a different variation of, and then each family tends to have their own 'grandma's recipe'. Are you looking for a cold or hot borscht?

I love beets. They taste like the Earth.

[MC Moot]

I love that book. I love Robbins in general, he is a master wordsmith. Occasionally he is a bit overly-clever and too pleased with himself. I didn't enjoy Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates for this reason, and there are bits of Half Asleep in Frog Pyjamas I think were smug and overdone. However when he is at the top of his game, and Jitterbug Perfume is certainly a good example of that, he is marvelous.

Borscht is one of those things, not unlike a curry, where like every region has a different variation of, and then each family tends to have their own 'grandma's recipe'. Are you looking for a cold or hot borscht?

I love beets. They taste like the Earth.

I'm a huge Robbins fan, like Vonnegut once ya start his stuff it's likely ya won't stop! I agree about "H.A.I.F Pajamas"...I heard it rumoured he had cancer when he was writing it....not big on "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues" either, especially as a movie! I thought "Villa Incognito" was simple and subtle in the best kind of way.....I saw him speak In Vancouver and he was heckled through out his reading by a group of fevered feminists, he engaged them in a back and forth dialogue, really quick witted man!

I'm looking specifically for hot borscht...is cold borscht like a gazpacho type idea? :)

[MC Moot]

beets done right:

boil them
peel skin off
cut into slices
sprinkle with olive oil, salt, pepper, thyme and rosemary
roast for half an hour or so

they go really well with roasted potatoes, carrots, parsnips, squash or yams

beets truly are one of my favorite vegetables

dont even get me started on pickled beets cause goddamn I can eat a whole jarful

oh and I dont really like borscht, mostly because I ate so much as a kid since my moms familia is all ukranian


Sounds good! Thanks, never really thought of them as a side dish....still I can never do pickled beets,no way! :D

[HEIRESS]

oh I forgot the "massive amounts of garlic" part of that beet preparation

dang

I think women used to die their hair with a mixture of beet and carrot juices back in de day