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View Full Version : Right Winger Has Sex with a Mule


brendan
05-24-2005, 01:09 PM
audio
http://www.foxnews.com/alancolmesradio/vidPlayer/player.html?colmes/050605/colmes_neal_horsley_050505&Alan_Colmes_Audio&Alan%20Colmes%20Radio&acc&Radio&-1&ram-300

http://villagevoice.com/news/0520,mondosplit1,64168,6.html

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Alan Colmes, on his Fox radio talk show last week, asked anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley if he was kidding when Horsley once claimed to have had sex with animals as a boy growing up in Georgia. Horsley is best known for his "Nuremberg Files," which, according to Planned Parenthood, lists abortion doctors "marked for death." Here was the exchange between Colmes and Horsley:
Horsley: Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I . . .

Colmes: You had sex with animals?

Horsley: Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.

Colmes: I'm not so sure that that is so.

Horsley: You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?

Colmes: Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?

Horsley: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality. . . . Welcome to domestic life on the farm. You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that. . . . If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.

Not knowing whether or not to believe this, we called Horsley and read him the quotes. "That's correct," he said. Then we looked at his website. Here's what it says: "Now when homosexuals, or adulterers, or fornicators, or pedophiles, or beast fornicators and beast suckers, or any sexual outlaws, parade themselves around as if they could be followers of Jesus Christ, they demonstrate a lie and blasphemy and abomination."

STANKY808
05-24-2005, 01:18 PM
The best part of this story is his name... Horsley!

boys_beastie
05-24-2005, 02:20 PM
lol. he banged a mule!!!

EN[i]GMA
05-24-2005, 02:29 PM
This is, by far, the best cop-out of any scandal ever.

The immortal words, right here: "If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it."

That, right there, is my new motto.

Jasonik
05-24-2005, 04:46 PM
I prefer the term 'sexual outlaw.' :cool:

QueenAdrock
05-24-2005, 05:47 PM
Isn't a mule a cross between a donkey and a horse?

So the way I see it, he should really love democrats.

adam_f
05-24-2005, 05:57 PM
But did he call the mule back?

Classic Iconocl
05-24-2005, 06:19 PM
Mr. Horsely is an interesting character. I'm basing a character in my next book after him.

Here's the cornhole pastor's website...

http://www.christiangallery.com/creator.html

Oink, bark, oink, and a cock-a-doodle too.
Mr. Horsely can moo, how about YOU?

Funkaloyd
05-24-2005, 06:43 PM
If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.
Jesus Christ though, there's a line to be drawn.

'Every red-blooded American boy remembers the first time he looked at the cardboard tube inside a roll of paper towels and said "To hell with a craft project, I can fuck that!"' (http://www.unclemelon.com/consumer_inanimate.html)

DipDipDive
05-24-2005, 07:09 PM
I love it. Especially since right-wingers usually use the whole "What's next? Sex with ANIMALS?! :eek: " stance when they renounce homosexuality.

Jasonik
05-24-2005, 07:18 PM
I love it. Especially since right-wingers usually use the whole "What's next? Sex with ANIMALS?! :eek: " stance when they renounce homosexuality.
It's a slippery slope, THIS PROVES IT. If he hadn't found Jesus he might've turned out GAY! :eek:

Jasonik
05-24-2005, 07:36 PM
Mr. Horsely is an interesting character. I'm basing a character in my next book after him.

Here's the cornhole pastor's website...

http://www.christiangallery.com/creator.html

Oink, bark, oink, and a cock-a-doodle too.
Mr. Horsely can moo, how about YOU?

From his website: (http://www.christiangallery.com/satansmiles.html)
Satan Smiles Today

Satan, we are told, is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44). Since Scripture makes that clear, it is reasonable to assume that, like any proud father, Satan smiles when he sees that one of his lies--one of his children--is going to live and grow up to be fruitful. But since not all lies are alike, some of Satan's children make him smile more broadly than others. The lies that Satan preens over most are the lies that lead to death. As Satan smiled at Eve in the garden when she believed him as he uttered the silky smooth words, "You will not surely die...", so too Satan smiles today as he looks upon the administration of President George W. Bush.....

Qdrop
05-25-2005, 06:46 AM
this is just unbelievable....


how can a mule-fucker be leader of people? no matter what the cause?

Ace42
05-25-2005, 07:29 AM
how can a mule-fucker be leader of people? no matter what the cause?

Ask your countrymen, they voted him into power.

Oh... Wait, you meant this guy - I thought you meant Bush

Funkaloyd
05-25-2005, 07:30 AM
What about the president of an association of zoophiles?

Burnout18
05-25-2005, 09:00 AM
so reality on a farm is sex with animals. thank god i didnt grow up anywhere near a farm.

ASsman
05-25-2005, 09:48 AM
Spokesperson for PETA: No he didn't have consenting sex with a mule... HE RAPED HER/HIM!! *splashes blood on everyone*

Qdrop
05-25-2005, 10:08 AM
Spokesperson for PETA: No he didn't have consenting sex with a mule... HE RAPED HER/HIM!! *splashes blood on everyone*

you maka mea laugha...