DA VAGINA

[DandyFop]

Insert







thoughts





B====D here

[cosmo105]

(¡)

[Medellia]

Insert


thoughts


B====D here
*groan*








bad joke

[Ace42]

Vaginas are weird but artistically beautiful

Especially when splashed with emulsion.

[GreenEarthAl]

I'm a fan.

[DandyFop]

*groan*








bad joke

It was an intentional "groan" joke. So I could remember what having sex is like.

[Medellia]

Especially when splashed with emulsion.
What the hell are you doing posting in TWO Beastie Free threads?! Get back in your Political forum box! :p

[Ace42]

What the hell are you doing posting in TWO Beastie Free threads?! Get back in your Political forum box! :p

Double-entendres like that one don't come along every day...

For those that missed the punchline, as well as being a type of paint, emulsion also means any sort of fatty oils suspended in a liquid:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=emulsion

[TurdBerglar]

just the vigina? what about the rest?

[Ace42]

just the vigina? what about the rest?

Who needs the rest? Get a parrot, some melons and a George Foreman grilling machine. Much lower maintenance.

[TurdBerglar]

i was talking about the reast of the female genetalia

[tulla]

turd, why don't you go ahead and make a "DA BOOTY" thread.

if you don't, i will.

[DandyFop]

When god realized all the pain chicks had to go through giving birth, he was like "fuck yeah, I'll give you a clit to make up for it"

[tulla]

too bad more men don't know how to treat the clit right

[TurdBerglar]

well i like to look at the cooch from a bent over possition. that's how i picture it in my head. so basically it doesn't need a seperate thread.

[Medellia]

just the vigina? what about the rest?
What's a "vigina"?

[TurdBerglar]

yeah, i do that a lot

[Ace42]

What's a "vigina"?

About $5 in Mexico?

[Medellia]

About $5 in Mexico?
*romshit*

[King PSYZ]

About $5 in Mexico?
golden!

you need to continue posting here

[Ace42]

That was just one of my textbook lines. You should see one of my bespoke quips or merryments.

[QueenAdrock]

My gay friend says that vaginas are the grossest thing he's ever seen. Straight porn makes him vomit.

[cosmo105]

yeah, the ol' roast beef taco isn't that appealing.

[zorra_chiflada]

"da vagina" sounds like an italian renaissance painter

[DandyFop]

Pornos shouldn't get too close up on the vag, it looks sketch.

[LOBSTER PRIZE!]

My gay friend says that vaginas are the grossest thing he's ever seen. Straight porn makes him vomit.


yeah but theres nothing quite as HOT and EROTIC as barebacking a puckered hairy man ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zorra_chiflada]

"da vagina" sounds like an italian renaissance painter

and kinda like the name of a pizza parlour

[Medellia]

"da vagina" sounds like an italian renaissance painter
And on your left you will notice the classic "Ol Roast Beef Taco" by Da Vagina.

[BangkokB]

a nice hot slippery glove that can throw an old mans back out if he's not too careful :(

Not that I would no anything about that*pages Nurse

[Bob]

da vagina code

so dark the...cooch of...woman...i don't know

[zorra_chiflada]

you tried, and that's all that matters

[King PSYZ]

yeah but theres nothing quite as HOT and EROTIC as barebacking a puckered hairy man ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
further proof of infalible logic

[Calimero jr.]

I went down for some wet vagina licking action las nite.....tasted great (y)

And my gfriend is a fountain girl (y) (y)

[zorra_chiflada]

well,..ok.

[Lyman Zerga]

I went down for some wet vagina licking action las nite.....tasted great (y)

And my gfriend is a fountain girl (y) (y)


share you godamn bastard!

[P of R]

Vaginas are nice. Period.

[abcdefz]

I'm a fan, but I gotta say...

Maybe because I'm goal oriented, but I really wish I had known across the board how to make every woman I'd ever been with have an orgasm. Or exactly what worked for each, because --

I think women have it easy in that sense. Men are probably generally pretty darned easy to climax -- the mechanics of it and all. But what would work for one girl wouldn't necessarily work for another, and sometimes, I'm not even sure I had much to do with it at all.

So: I like it, but still insecure and somewhat intimidated.

[B4BY 4NN]

I miss my fro.

[g-mile7]

I'm a fan, but I gotta say...

Maybe because I'm goal oriented, but I really wish I had known across the board how to make every woman I'd ever been with have an orgasm. Or exactly what worked for each, because --

I think women have it easy in that sense. Men are probably generally pretty darned easy to climax -- the mechanics of it and all. But what would work for one girl wouldn't necessarily work for another, and sometimes, I'm not even sure I had much to do with it at all.

So: I like it, but still insecure and somewhat intimidated.


The shits deep, in more ways then one.

[B4BY 4NN]

If you want a girl to orgasm (when it comes to "eating out"), DON'T just laplaplap your tongue all over the damn thing.

Little licks... Like a kitty on the clitty!


(MY WORD.. I've been awake for too long.)

[g-mile7]

Altoids and spelling your ABC's

[B4BY 4NN]

Altoids and spelling your ABC's

:(

That was an insult. Wasn't it?

[abcdefz]

If you want a girl to orgasm (when it comes to "eating out"), DON'T just laplaplap your tongue all over the damn thing.

Little licks... Like a kitty on the clitty!


(MY WORD.. I've been awake for too long.)



This is what I'm talking about.

The first instruction I ever got was "pretend it's the tastiest ice cream cone in the world."

Eventually, we kind of got that down, and my hit-or-miss ratio was pretty good.

CUT TO: VERY NEXT GIRLFRIEND

"....ohhhh... not like THAAAAAAT!!!"

[B4BY 4NN]

This is what I'm talking about.

The first instruction I ever got was "pretend it's the tastiest ice cream cone in the world."

Eventually, we kind of got that down, and my hit-or-miss ratio was pretty good.

CUT TO: VERY NEXT GIRLFRIEND

"....ohhhh... not like THAAAAAAT!!!"

I guess I'm speaking for myself, then.

I just hate guys who kiss as if they're a dog eating moist kibble, especially if you do not like them. Then their saliva's all sticky around your mouth, and saliva has that certain scent... Same goes for my vagina. It's wet enough already. Don't make it an in-ground swimming pool.

[g-mile7]

:(

That was an insult. Wasn't it?


Nope just another secret/tip (lb)

[B4BY 4NN]

Nope just another secret/tip (lb)

Ha. I get it now :o

[abcdefz]

Maybe you're starting to see what I mean. Some women like it this way, some that. Some like finger(s), some not. Some like manipulation of the clit, some want the g-spot. One girl I was with could only get off with me with a grinding thing that was, for me, really, REALLY uncomfortable. One friend I knew had a girlfriend who could only get off on his hipbone.

I mean, a range of needs -- that's cool, that's cool -- but I'm just saying it's not as reliable as guys are. Basically, some sort of moist-or-maybe-not pumping motion, continued long enough, and we're there. It's probably more boring, but I'm just saying that it's satisfying to be able to get your partner off, and frustrating when you can't reliably know how to do that every time. Or, with some girls, I/we never got there, especially the short-term things.

That's all I'm saying.

[B4BY 4NN]

Maybe you're starting to see what I mean. Some women like it this way, some that. Some like finger(s), some not. Some like manipulation of the clit, some want the g-spot. One girl I was with could only get off with me with a grinding thing that was, for me, really, REALLY uncomfortable. One friend I knew had a girlfriend who could only get off on his hipbone.

I mean, a range of needs -- that's cool, that's cool -- but I'm just saying it's not as reliable as guys are. Basically, some sort of moist-or-maybe-not pumping motion, continued long enough, and we're there. It's probably more boring, but I'm just saying that it's satisfying to be able to get your partner off, and frustrating when you can't reliably know how to do that every time. Or, with some girls, I/we never got there, especially the short-term things.

That's all I'm saying.

I wasn't personally attacking you or anything (if this is directed toward me -- maybe not).

Ha. It's nice you actually CARE that your girl gets off.

[Lyman Zerga]

not sure but i think im easy to satisfy

[abcdefz]

I wasn't personally attacking you or anything (if this is directed toward me -- maybe not).





It's not directed toward anyone -- it's just me whining. And it's not like I'm out there in the field anymore, anyway.

It's just something that was sometimes frustrating to me. I'm a performance-oriented person, so the orgasm mattered a lot, and there's sometimes self-doubt if there's no O.

[beastieangel01]

knowwhatimsayin

[g-mile7]

Ha. I get it now :o


4sho :)

[Dr Deaf]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqP17T-RL8M&search=pink%20taco

:eek:

[DandyFop]

It was an intentional "groan" joke. So I could remember what having sex is like.

Oh jesus christ this is pathetic.

It's nice to be able to look at this a year later and wave to my former un-sexed self.

[beastieangel01]

Oh jesus christ this is pathetic.

It's nice to be able to look at this a year later and wave to my former un-sexed self.

Someone always ends up switching places with your former self.

Hi! :)

[DandyFop]

Hey, I went a whole year! Come back and talk to me then...

[cookiepuss]

I saw a vagina peircing that really freaked me out recently. I wish I could show you guys. bacically she had banana bar-bells going down both sides of her labia. it made her twat look like a venus fly trap. it kinda looked like if you stuk a dick in there it might get grinded to a pulp.:mad: it was really disturbing.


I like my vagina. it looks like an oyster. or maybe oysters look like my vagina. it doesn't smell like an oyster though, thank god. I'm going to shut up now because this conversation isn't going to lead to anywhere I care to go.:o

[beastieangel01]

Hey, I went a whole year! Come back and talk to me then...

okay I was unaware of that. :o But I'm well on my way.

[g-mile7]

I saw a vagina peircing that really freaked me out recently. I wish I could show you guys. bacically she had banana bar-bells going down both sides of her labia. it made her twat look like a venus fly trap. it kinda looked like if you stuk a dick in there it might get grinded to a pulp.:mad: it was really disturbing.


I like my vagina. it looks like an oyster. or maybe oysters look like my vagina. it doesn't smell like an oyster though, thank god. I'm going to shut up now because this conversation isn't going to lead to anywhere I care to go.:o


that made the 15 year old G~mile giggle.

[abcdefz]

I like my vagina. it looks like an oyster. or maybe oysters look like my vagina.






My vagina looks like a Georgia O'Keefe painting.



























One of the cow skulls paintings, unfortunately.

[Randetica]

I saw a vagina peircing that really freaked me out recently. I wish I could show you guys. bacically she had banana bar-bells going down both sides of her labia. it made her twat look like a venus fly trap. it kinda looked like if you stuk a dick in there it might get grinded to a pulp.:mad: it was really disturbing.

i want to see dat

[g-mile7]

Days like this I wish to JEHOVA I became famous.....:(

[Rock]

I'm a performance-oriented person, so the orgasm mattered a lot, and there's sometimes self-doubt if there's no O.
A good amount of females I know would just fake it for men that were like you. Just sayin'.

[cookiepuss]

i want to see dat


shes's a suicide girl. I'll send you pic through your myspace or sumthin.

[Randetica]

noise!

[abcdefz]

A good amount of females I know would just fake it for men that were like you. Just sayin'.


I know. That's why I really wanted mastery. So I would know.

Sometimes there's evidence, so it's obvious it's not being faked. When there's not evidence, but she's said she came, I never knew whether or not to believe it.

[Dr Deaf]

Maybe you're starting to see what I mean. Some women like it this way, some that. Some like finger(s), some not. Some like manipulation of the clit, some want the g-spot. One girl I was with could only get off with me with a grinding thing that was, for me, really, REALLY uncomfortable. One friend I knew had a girlfriend who could only get off on his hipbone.

I mean, a range of needs -- that's cool, that's cool -- but I'm just saying it's not as reliable as guys are. Basically, some sort of moist-or-maybe-not pumping motion, continued long enough, and we're there. It's probably more boring, but I'm just saying that it's satisfying to be able to get your partner off, and frustrating when you can't reliably know how to do that every time. Or, with some girls, I/we never got there, especially the short-term things.

That's all I'm saying.

dood, just eat more pussy. even if she's hoping for a grafenberg O she's not going to send a clitoral one back. you get off, she gots off and everyone's happy. i really don't think a clitoral O is a runner up to grafenberg's O.

i heard writing out the alphabet with your tongue is a technique, but it's not one i've ever employed. look, lick, listen and learn is all i have to offer.

not to brag, but i have a 99.6% success rate with clitoral O's (2 failed attempts outta 300+ times) i can generate a wheels up time within 5-7 mins. a couple of times it's taken 8-23, but not very often. all those lift-offs are 100% verifiable.

i just happen to fuck pretty good too so i'm not limited like a ghetto vet.
(ice cube: war and peace: the war album ghetto vet: "...she gets mad cuz my tongue gets tired")

[abcdefz]

dood, just eat more pussy. even if she's hoping for a grafenberg O she's not going to send a clitoral one back. you get off, she gots off and everyone's happy. i really don't think a clitoral O is a runner up to grafenberg's O.

i heard writing out the alphabet with your tongue is a technique, but it's not one i've ever employed. look, lick, listen and learn is all i have to offer.

not to brag, but i have a 99.6% success rate with clitoral O's (2 failed attempts outta 300+ times) i can generate a wheels up time within 5-7 mins. a couple of times it's taken 8-23, but not very often. all those lift-offs are 100% verifiable.

i just happen to fuck pretty good too so it's not like i'm limited like a ghetto vet.



Forget your government job and go into motivational speaking, dood.

[Dr Deaf]

haha. it's a topic near and dear to my heart.

my new gig isn't a govt job, it's just heavily regulated by the FAA and other agencies with 3 letters in their abbreviations.

[g-mile7]

dood, just eat more pussy. even if she's hoping for a grafenberg O she's not going to send a clitoral one back. you get off, she gots off and everyone's happy. i really don't think a clitoral O is a runner up to grafenberg's O.

i heard writing out the alphabet with your tongue is a technique, but it's not one i've ever employed. look, lick, listen and learn is all i have to offer.
not to brag, but i have a 99.6% success rate with clitoral O's (2 failed attempts outta 300+ times) i can generate a wheels up time within 5-7 mins. a couple of times it's taken 8-23, but not very often. all those lift-offs are 100% verifiable.

i just happen to fuck pretty good too so i'm not limited like a ghetto vet.
(ice cube: war and peace: the war album ghetto vet: "...she gets mad cuz my tongue gets tired")


Altoids and spelling your ABC's

:) we think alike

[Dr Deaf]

:) we think alike

how so? to assume every clitoris will respond to the same technique and/or gimmick is like arguing all snow flakes are identical.

each one is a unique jewel that needs to be explored and experimented with, to fully appreciate and understand the beauty and functionality of both the clitoris and more importantly -- it's prospective owner.

[g-mile7]

how so? to assume every clitoris will respond to the same technique and/or gimmick is like arguing all snow flakes are identical.

each one is a unique jewel that needs to be explored and experimented with, to fully appreciate and understand the beauty and functionality of both the clitoris and more importantly -- it's prospective owner.


I was just saying that it works.....trust me and altoids. I leanred from the best.....gotta love bi's and lesbain home girls.

[abcdefz]

it's prospective owner.



...you think a vagina can, uh... change hands, so to speak?


P.S. Despite what women have told you, yawning doesn't really count as "evidence." :D

[Dr Deaf]

I was just saying that it works.....trust me and altoids. I leanred from the best.....gotta love bi's and lesbain home girls.

you can get the gist of catcher in the rye from the cliff notes, but it's better to read the book in it's entirety.


...you think a vagina can, uh... change hands, so to speak?


heh. she puts the lotion in the basket. check craigslist.

[g-mile7]

you can get the gist of catcher in the rye from the cliff notes, but it's better to read the book in it's entirety.



So this means that I need 300 to be able to say that my skills, even with the teachings of my own Ms. Obi Won Knobis, is game tight?

[cosmo105]

how so? to assume every clitoris will respond to the same technique and/or gimmick is like arguing all snow flakes are identical.

each one is a unique jewel that needs to be explored and experimented with, to fully appreciate and understand the beauty and functionality of both the clitoris and more importantly -- it's prospective owner.
i think i'm tearing up a little. that was beautiful.

[adam_f]

I wish midgets came out full size.

[beastiegirrl101]

So this means that I need 300 to be able to say that my skills, even with the teachings of my own Ms. Obi Won Knobis, is game tight?

arent you a virgin? So if you'll go down on a female...where do you draw the line? Usually all that foreplay leads to sex...

I have a friend who is not a virgin but she is one of those "everything but" girls and I just dont get it. Oral sex is so personal as it is...what is she afraid of, upping her number? eh, whatev.

[Dr Deaf]

So this means that I need 300 to be able to say that my skills, even with the teachings of my own Ms. Obi Won Knobis, is game tight?

your skills aren't being disputed. how many licks it takes you to get to the center of a tootsie pop has no bearing on how many licks it takes me.

...be formless like water, you put water in a cup it becomes the cup, you put water in the tea pot, it becomes the teapot. now water can flow and water can crash. be water my friend.

[g-mile7]

your skills aren't being disputed. how many licks it takes you to get to the center of a tootsie pop has no bearing on how many licks it takes me.


this made me lmao' and this is true, I was just giving you props thats all silly me for going against the Conficus of P-Dot Smackin.

[g-mile7]

arent you a virgin? So if you'll go down on a female...where do you draw the line? Usually all that foreplay leads to sex...

I have a friend who is not a virgin but she is one of those "everything but" girls and I just dont get it. Oral sex is so personal as it is...what is she afraid of, upping her number? eh, whatev.



wow....that draws up so many questions right there:eek: this made me laugh.

[Bob]

wow....that draws up so many questions right there:eek: this made me laugh.

i get the two of us confused all the time too

[g-mile7]

i get the two of us confused all the time too


I mean I do like Gambit.(lb)

[QueenAdrock]

Altoids and spelling your ABC's

That coupled with your tongue must make you the most masterous vagina-licker of them all.

And I like having a vagina. Just not bleeding out of it, or being forced to have children through it. So I guess I don't like it much. </penis envy>

[g-mile7]

That coupled with your tongue must make you the most masterous vagina-licker of them all.

And I like having a vagina. Just not bleeding out of it, or being forced to have children through it. So I guess I don't like it much. </penis envy>


Thanks

[QueenAdrock]

Oh yeah, and A-Z, that's EXACTLY what I was talking about in the other thread from last week that I don't remember anymore. I enjoy training men and letting them know what I like, because women are so different from one another. I have one friend who can't get off from sex. I pretty much can ONLY get off from sex. Some girls like being eaten out, it tickles a lot for others. There's no way to tell how one girl responds to a certain technique that another girl taught you. But like Bobby said, look, listen, and learn. ;)

[g-mile7]

Oh yeah, and A-Z, that's EXACTLY what I was talking about in the other thread from last week that I don't remember anymore. I enjoy training men and letting them know what I like, because women are so different from one another. I have one friend who can't get off from sex. I pretty much can ONLY get off from sex. Some girls like being eaten out, it tickles a lot for others. There's no way to tell how one girl responds to a certain technique that another girl taught you. But like Bobby said, look, listen, and learn. ;)

This is truth, I mean when I said I was taught by the best (given I do know quite a few self-procliamed lesbain and Bi chicks) I meant that most of the times you hear girls say that no one other then girls understand how to please a girl( as often seen on you lil shows on MTV where a female who got "curious" will say her best whatever was her "girl" friend) but yea everyone has diffrent strokes, just got keep painting till you can get that masterpiece. Droppin taught me that line:)

[abcdefz]

Oh yeah, and A-Z, that's EXACTLY what I was talking about in the other thread from last week that I don't remember anymore. I enjoy training men and letting them know what I like, because women are so different from one another. I have one friend who can't get off from sex. I pretty much can ONLY get off from sex. Some girls like being eaten out, it tickles a lot for others. There's no way to tell how one girl responds to a certain technique that another girl taught you. But like Bobby said, look, listen, and learn. ;)


Oh, I know. I like the vagina a lot; my asterisk is that I wish the female orgasm could be more reliably achieved, across the board. I mean, unless a guy is dysfunctional, it's got to be pretty hard to not be able to make him come, right?

Right? Maybe I'm wrong, but I have a feeling I'm right.

Girls?

[QueenAdrock]

Droppin taught me that line:)

:eek:

[abcdefz]

Oh yeah, and A-Z, that's EXACTLY what I was talking about in the other thread from last week that I don't remember anymore. I enjoy training men and letting them know what I like, because women are so different from one another.




By the way -- you'd be surprised (maybe) at how many women are just too embarassed or whatever to do this. I've been with a BUNCH of women who'll just say "I like what you're doing" (or, more damningly, "What you're doing is fine"), no matter how much I've asked. And I'm not talking about some delicate virgin flower, either. It's unfathomable to me to have a lover asking "What will please you?" and resoundingly rejecting the offer.

[QueenAdrock]

Oh, I know. I like the vagina a lot; my asterisk is that I wish the female orgasm could be more reliably achieved, across the board. I mean, unless a guy is dysfunctional, it's got to be pretty hard to not be able to make him come, right?

Right? Maybe I'm wrong, but I have a feeling I'm right.

Girls?

Naw, you're totally right...for the most part. Men just need somewhere moist and some thrusting efforts from the female, and *bam* done.

Females are like those puzzles (http://www.amazen.com.au/catalog/images/key%20ring%20puzzles.jpeg)at those nerd shops in town. You spend all damn day trying to figure it out and right when you're about to quit and kick in the door really hard, it unlocks. And that's the best feeling in the world, and you feel like the smartest man alive. Until they give you another one to try.

[QueenAdrock]

That's some crap. Maybe I'm more honest because I rely on my mens for O's. Most women can get off other ways, so maybe they think "It's okay if he's not great, I'll grab my vibrator later," or whatever. Either way, not fair to the guy. I've never had a problem offering constructive criticism, because most guys don't take offense and appreciate the honesty.

[g-mile7]

The incredible philosphocial ideals being taught in this thread is amazing.

[DandyFop]

I feel awkward being the director, it's true.

Okay now, put your hand there. Right, right. Move your tongue.

I feel like he's gonna say "What's my modivation?"

I had to do something kinda interesting to get the guy to go downtown finally. It worked but it's only happened a few times. How does one rectify that? Everything else is fantastic. I know most people say "duh, he should do it automatically". But, what if he doesn'!

[abcdefz]

I had to do something kinda interesting to get the guy to go downtown finally. It worked but it's only happened a few times. How does one rectify that? Everything else is fantastic. I know most people say "duh, he should do it automatically". But, what if he doesn'!




...if you're not comfortable saying "You know what would really make me feel good...?" then you're going to have to do some non-verbal things. You could start by guiding his hand, then his head.

Do what guys do. :D You know what it means when a guy palms a girl's head like a basketball.

[DandyFop]

Hah! Yes, but he doesn't do that to me...

That would be funny though. Hm.

[befsquire]

P.S. Despite what women have told you, yawning doesn't really count as "evidence." :D
under the truth in posting act, evidence can come from the other party involved by verification of all claims.

this post serves as verification, and also serves to compliment the good dr on his fine skills. further, should his post appear somewhat immodest, i would merely comment that the dr left off the 50+ times where wheels up occurred between 1 and 3 minutes,* and also failed to include various other oral related accomplishments.



*note: the dr is disappointed when it's over too quickly and will frequently tease to extend the experience.

[cookiepuss]

I feel awkward being the director, it's true.

Okay now, put your hand there. Right, right. Move your tongue.

I feel like he's gonna say "What's my modivation?"

I had to do something kinda interesting to get the guy to go downtown finally. It worked but it's only happened a few times. How does one rectify that? Everything else is fantastic. I know most people say "duh, he should do it automatically". But, what if he doesn'!

perhaps some water-based flavored lubricant is in order. or whipped cream. or choco syrup. hell what ever his fav food is put it there.;)

[synch]

PIZZA!

[cookiepuss]

oh ya know what? I think my vibrator has ruined my ability to enjoy oral pleasure now. see my man had always been a very talented deep sea diver, espcially when we first started dating...but then we started using toys in our foreplay alot. I've gotten so use to my vibe that I really didn't miss the oral much. but the other day we did 69 and it was kinda disapointing. it's not that he did a bad job it's that my clit has now been trained to need harder, faster action. so I guess I'm goona have to get him to peirce his tounge and wear one of those vibrating mouth jewlery things.:(

[synch]

Or... PIZZA!

[befsquire]

oh ya know what? I think my vibrator has ruined my ability to enjoy oral pleasure now.
exactly why i've never purchased one, nor would i want to. i enjoy a warm tongue.

[DandyFop]

I fear the vibe might have ruined me as well. But I guess I'd have to actual GET HEAD in order to know!!!!!!

[skra75]

Altoids and spelling your ABC's

nice(lb)