i hate my life

[insertnamehere]

so today i was gonna go get lunch and my car woudltn start so i came back in and there was a thunderstorm and my electricity went out so i went to sleep for a few hours and my dad got home and i told him about my car and he tried it and it started fine and he wanted to go get dinner so we drove around and argued over where to go for far to long and he decided to go to some new place he heard of and got there and went in and decided he didnt want that so we tried to leave and the car woudlnt start. so then when had to push start it and i didnt know how cause i never had before and he got super mad at me for that cause im stupid apparently, so then we come home and my dog ripped up our new-ish couch and my dad walked around and screamed and threw shit and grabbed the dog and beat her till she shit everywhere and put her out and then told me to clean the goddamn house and left in his car, so i cleaned up his mess once again cause i was scared not to. i always have to clean up after him he's the biggest slob none of it is ever mine, so i was pissed off and frustrated and started crying and he came home and was like "whats your problem?' and i woudlnt answer him and he walked out and slammed the door and he went and spent our food money on stuff to try to fix that fucking car and i ate plain noodles for dinner because we didnt have anything to go with it.

but thats ok cause soon he'll pass out drunk and i wont have to listen to it anymore.

[TurdBerglar]

i hate your life too

[Tzar]

*raises hand*
i'll off him for ya.
then you can take the car and the dog and live in hollywood.

[insertnamehere]

i dont think the car will make it to hollywood

[Tzar]

i dont think the car will make it to hollywood

ok drive to sydney then. (y)

[TurdBerglar]

sydney is past hollywood, dude. like way past

[insertnamehere]

i cant afford to live on my own and i dont really have any friends.


i was gonna start a seperate thread but i guess this is applicable in this one. i realized the reason im so unhappy. why i was unhappy before i met ben and why im unhappy now and why i was actually happy while i was with him. ive never had a real meaningful relationship with anyone. ive never had a connection with anyone. ive never had anyone that i could tell anything, or that i could depend on. i have people that i call "friends" but they dont really mean much of anything to me. for example, there was a guy at my work who i'd consider a friend. he got fired one day i wasnt there, so we didnt get to say goodbye. ill never see him again in my life, and i dont really care. i dont miss him.

so the reason im so unhappy is because im unbelievably alone. the only person i have in my life is my dad. and you've all seen what a great guy he is.

[zippo]

tell your mom you dont deserve this bullshit

[Tzar]

go to some arcades (that's what you yanks call them, right?) and make friends with some of the DDR freaks n' geeks?

[TurdBerglar]

you guys don't call them arcades?

[insertnamehere]

tell your mom you dont deserve this bullshit

i dont live with/talk to my mother (!)

[Tzar]

you guys don't call them arcades?
nah we call them by their company name, like "timezone" and "leisure island".

but i haven't been to one in ages. the star wars pinball machine got taken away so no point.

[Tzar]

i dont live with/talk to my mother (!)

can i ask why?

[insertnamehere]

can i ask why?

she's a lying whore and she ruined my life, for starters

[insertnamehere]

Sounds EXACTLY like me...freaky. The only exception is...I haven't had a meaningful relationship.


its worse once you do cause you actually know what you're missing :(

[Tzar]

your dad's grandfolks?

[insertnamehere]

huh?

[Tzar]

consider living with them?

[insertnamehere]

my dads parents?


i havnt had contact w/ my grandfather in yeeeeeears. my grandma lives with my aunt out in the woods in the middle of nowhere. i woudlnt be able to go to school. their house/monetary situation is pretty much the same as my current one. except their house is in the middle of nowhere.

[QueenAdrock]

your dad beat your dog?

holy crap, that's so wrong (n) there's nothing worse than animal brutality.
well, except for emotional brutality. you need to get outta there. :(

[zippo]

you need to get outta there.

yes, you need to be creative and look for seemingly non-existant possibilities.

give your school counselor his/her 15 minutes of fame if not.

[Rancid_Beasties]

You dont have to be friends with people to live with them. In fact its probably better that you aren't. If I was in your position I'd be looking amongst those sorta friends and aquaintances, people you know aren't psychos, and get a cheap apartment with them.

[Lindsey_1535]

Is your dog ok? :(

[buddylee]

so dad came home

[Medellia]

she's a lying whore and she ruined my life, for starters
Well from what you said about your dad, I don't think your mom can be a whole lot worse. Good luck with everything, kiddo.

[Rancid_Beasties]

Is your dog ok? :(
I didn't even want to ask that because the answer could make me too angry at her dad and I'd probably try to jump through the screen and kick his ass :mad:

If somebody did that to my dog I'd pretty much go crazy on them.

[Lindsey_1535]

I know!!I was so scared. I just pictures my poor puppy :( :(

[insertnamehere]

doggie is ok. he was excessive, but to be fair, thats the third couch she's been though.

but yeah, hes an asshole, and far too many bad things happened in too short of a time today, and im just havving a shitty time alltogether with everything right now

*sigh*

[Rancid_Beasties]

doggie is ok. he was excessive, but to be fair, thats the third couch she's been though.
I dare your dad to take on my dog (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v303/Rancid_Beasties/PHTO0005.jpg)

Wow he looks really fat in that picture, but i think its cos of the way hes backs arched, or maybe hes just fat :D BTW please excuse the rusty old wheelbarrow leaning against the hedge

[Tzar]

ARHG!! i really hate small dogs :mad: they're a nuscense(sp).

i'm definately getting a german shepard once i'm in my own joint.

[Medellia]

doggie is ok. he was excessive, but to be fair, thats the third couch she's been though.
Nonononono, don't blame it on the dog. Yes what she did was wrong, but she still doesn't deserve to have the shit beaten out of her. I don't think dogs act out that much unless they've been abused before.

[Medellia]

ARHG!! i really hate small dogs :mad: they're a nuscense(sp).
Hahaha, oh man, my grandparents used to have a little toy poodle named Nuisance! :D

[guerillaGardner]

i realized the reason im so unhappy. why i was unhappy before i met ben and why im unhappy now and why i was actually happy while i was with him. ive never had a real meaningful relationship with anyone. ive never had a connection with anyone. ive never had anyone that i could tell anything, or that i could depend on

I'm sorry you feel so bad all the time. I used to feel like that a lot. I was convinced for years that everything would fall right into place if I found the right person. In actual fact I found that the times I was most miserable was when I had people in my life who I was attached to but my sense of taste was in my arse when it came to picking the objects of my affection. I realise that nowadays I wouldn't touch the people I was attracted to in my youth with a bargepole. My need for someone, just anyone, made me not too fussy at all.

Also in retrospect a major reason I had a hard time meeting a special someone was because I was way too needy and lacking in confidence. It's one of the most unattractive qualities possible.

In contrast, during the period when I felt happiest, most self assured and needing no-one I had my pick of four possible partners.

So what I am trying to say, is that ironically if you don't love yourself no-one else will, and even more ironically when you love yourself it won't really matter who loves you. Often our need for a partner is to prop up our sagging egos.

Go out and discover what is great about you. Try new things if you can. If you are broke find things you can do for free - join a campaign group, meet new friends. Learn a new skill. Do things that make you feel good about yourself.

Try new experiences constantly. Even if certain activities don't attract you try them anyway to see how they feel (I mean sports, studies, etc - not any kind of hedonistic activity that people use to mask pain)

Discover all the good things about you you never knew. Don't hang onto things that make you feel bad just because you think that one day they might work out just fine. Often we hold on and hold on to situations hoping that they will get better when they really just won't.

It sounds like your dad is hard work, but I've met many people whose relationships with their folks has improved dramatically with a little bit of distance. That will come eventually.

Am I right in thinking you are only 19? One day you will look back at all the incredible opportunity that lay before you just waiting for you to grab it. One day you will look back at hours spent on the internet thinking about heartbreak when you could have been making new experiences, testing your potential and discovering what you like about you.

You could have things right now that one day you might not have - health, freedom, lack of ties. Use them right now! Don't wait till they are gone and you compound feeling bad by looking back with regret. You are only guaranteed this moment, you have no idea what tomorrow brings. Not even in your middle or old age, but perhaps tomorrow or next week or the week after you could look back at right now and have options taken from you which you never realised you had. Take them while they are still there and if you don't know what they are go out and discover them.