help me come up with quick rude comments to shout at people while on my bike.

[Sarky Devotchka]

today, I was riding down some sidestreets without stopping at stop signs if I didn't have to. so, anyway, this car comes to the stop sign on my right and I see it stopping, and I see people about to cross the street in front of it, so I just breeze on through and the guy yells, "STOP! DAMN IT!" and all I could think to do was go, "EHHHEEWW" while shrugging and making a "whattaya gonna do?" motion with my arm.

also, when I think a car is about it hit me, or a door is going to open into my bike lane, I usually just make sounds like, "ACK!" or "BAAAAP!" or, "HAYAYA" or "EUHHHH" one time I actually said, "BEEP!"

sometimes I flip people off, or say, "learn to drive, butthole", or "don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me" or "I gotta bike lane here!", but they never hear me because they're inside of cars.

MRRRPP!

[TurdBerglar]

kick their mirrors. they break easy. then duck down some side street and try to find some woods or hide behind a apartment block.

[Sarky Devotchka]

there's no fucking woods in the city you crazy honky.

I could duck behind an apartment though, in the alley. sometimes I get a loogie started and think about spitting it on a car, but then I chicken out.

[RobMoney]

You could yell "Naked girl on a bike coming through"

They'd notice you for sure then.

[venusvenus123]

I see people about to cross the street in front of it, so I just breeze on through
that's nice. you'd probably kill someone if you ran into them.

some stupid cyclist ran straight into me last year and i can tell you it fucking hurt. he just said "oh, sorry" and cycled off.

[ms.peachy]

Yeah, why should you have to stop at stop signs if you don't feel like it? I mean, it's not like as a bike rider you have obey like LAWS or anything :rolleyes:

[avignon]

Get one of those "Ooga-ooga" horns.

[paul jones]

just shout at them like a wailing banshee or something

[wavin_goodbye]

Yeah, why should you have to stop at stop signs if you don't feel like it? I mean, it's not like as a bike rider you have obey like LAWS or anything :rolleyes:


in my city, the only people that follow road laws are cars... sometimes :p

[Sarky Devotchka]

that's nice. you'd probably kill someone if you ran into them.

some stupid cyclist ran straight into me last year and i can tell you it fucking hurt. he just said "oh, sorry" and cycled off.

hey hey hey, I meant that the people were going to cross the street in front of the car on the street to my right, not in front of me. The car had to stop for them and wait, so I just went. Plus, I was at the intersection first. Really the whole shouting thing was uncalled for, I guess bikes had been running stop signs in front of him all day or something.

I'm a very considerate and aware rider, I yell, "on your left!" when I need to pass people running in my bike lane. which makes me mad, all of a sudden now when people go running, they think it's cool to run in the bike lane. they saw one dumb ass doing it, and now they all do it. well, it's crap.

if I ever run into someone, it'll be their fault. I have to ride through a rich neighborhood where people have too much money and too much time on their hands, so they drive too fast in their SUVs looking for parking spots so they can go shop at boutiques and eat in fancy little restaurants like stupid charlie trotter's. hmph.

[YoungRemy]

if you see a jogger doing his stretches (you know the stretch, when they lean against a tree or a pole or a wall and look like they are pushing against it) , ride by them and shout "YOU CANT PUSH THAT DOWN!!!" and give them a look like they are an idiot...


once I yelled at a cabbie not to hit me and he told me "Im not wearing a turban, what do I look like?"

then I made him out to be a racist when i said "what does a turban have to do with anything, you almost killed me?!"

[Sarky Devotchka]

ha ha, oh man, I am going to purposely look for people stretching now. I'd blow it though, I'd probably start laughing before I even said anything.

[venusvenus123]

I'm a very considerate and aware rider, I yell, "on your left!" when I need to pass people running in my bike lane.

i'm sure you are :D

i think you should get yourself a large bell or a claxon. you'll get great satisfaction from seeing the looks on people's faces as you sound it.

that guy who ran into me was cycling up regent street (for ms peachy) on the wrong side, which is pretty stupid, so as i crossed i was looking left to check no cars/buses/taxis were going to squash me and he ran straight into me. it felt like someone had swung a huge bag of potatoes at me with great force.

hmph! :mad:

[TurdBerglar]

there's no fucking woods in the city you crazy honky.


that's why i gave the second option asshole

[QueenAdrock]

Scream at 'em "HEY I'M BIKIN' HERE!" and if it's a chick, add in the word "FATTY" to the end, because all women hate being called Fatties. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. It's gold.

[yeahwho]

here are 3 heartwarming rude comments to yell at people whilst riding a bike;

Tired of walking? Start running Biatch!

Anybody else get hurt in that accident?

Hey twatnozzle, wanna sniff my seat?

Have a nice day riding around town. :)

[YoungRemy]

I have to ride through a rich neighborhood where people have too much money and too much time on their hands, so they drive too fast in their SUVs looking for parking spots so they can go shop at boutiques and eat in fancy little restaurants like stupid charlie trotter's. hmph.

rich people in rich neighborhoods suck, especially when you are riding a bike or a skateboard...


here's whatyou say when you see an old rich woman who has gotten a facelift...

act frightened, shocked to see this sight on a public street, then scream "DO YOU REALLY THINK THATS FOOLING ANYBODY?"

[Loppfessor]

Just buy a damn car cheap ass...

[RobMoney]

I use to drive a truck and had to make deliveries in Center City Philadelphia.
There's never anywhere to park in Center City, So I'd usually just stop in the middle of the street. There was always some asshole who would get his panties in a bunch because he was in a hurry and had to wait for me. I'd alway's tell them this when they said something to me,

me: You look like you're in a hurry there
them: YES, I am in a hurry
me: Well leave earlier next time asshole.


I've had cops laugh at that one and keep on going, letting me stay in the middle of the street to make my delivery. :D

[tracky]

a favorite of mine, instead of rude comments...


Ride by people walking in the opposite direction from you with a pocket full of thunderbombs or, even better, M80s. Light them just as you pass and throw 'em a good 25feet behind the tightass - The more stuck up/uptight the person the better.

You will see people contort in ways they never thought possible. I've seen people dive - - grown men - DIVING behind bushes, people bend down so far so fast that their heels were behind their heads...

This one cheers me up on a bad day. Works better in the suburbs though.

MUCH funnier that merely shouting a rude comment.


In my younger days we used to do these things called key-bangers. Basically, when you're in an old manual car, you can switch the ignition off while moving, leave the clutch out, which causes the engine to suck through a heap of fuel and air without igniting it, which builds up in the exhaust. Turn the key back on, and BANG! Well, anyway, we used to drive around, my mate would hang out the window with a club-lock aimed like a gun and yell shit like "DIE MUTHERFUCKER!!" while I key-banged at random people. Man, some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. People diving and ducking all over the place. One time we saw a heap of cop cars screaming past us heading to where we'd just key-banged a heap of people. Man, LOL. I can't believe they just drove right past us. Needless to say, we made like a hockey stick and got the puck outta there.

I don't have any good shit to yell at people. We used to scream "GET A CAR!" to people sitting at bus stops, I guess you could do the same but use bike :p

haha oh and my mate, whenever he saw 2 people making out, he'd yell out "STICK IT IN HER ARSE!"

[Sarky Devotchka]

okay, I actually don't think that scaring the shit out of people on the street is the answer, and I don't find it particularly funny. I was walking around downtown with some friends and people threw M80's at us along with raw eggs, nobody got hit or anything, but it freaked us out and it wasn't funny at all. okay, it turned funny when I chased after the car and got the license plate and called the police.



and I don't have enough money for a new car. even if I did, it's way faster for me to ride a bike than drive, and I don't have to search for parking. and bikes rule.

[tracky]

okay, I actually don't think that scaring the shit out of people on the street is the answer, and I don't find it particularly funny. I was walking around downtown with some friends and people threw M80's at us along with raw eggs, nobody got hit or anything, but it freaked us out and it wasn't funny at all. okay, it turned funny when I chased after the car and got the license plate and called the police.



and I don't have enough money for a new car. even if I did, it's way faster for me to ride a bike than drive, and I don't have to search for parking. and bikes rule.

i wasn't suggesting it was the answer to your question, I was responding to gooch. Beside that this was a long time ago, when we first started driving. I have no problems with most of the shit i did as a teen, I wouldn't do it these days. I wasn't suggesting you "get a car!" either, that's just another teen-years throw back. So as for your original question, just yell "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY COCKBAG!" or something, just make sure you end it with COCKBAG! or, I have to agree, "FATTY!" would be good for chicks (y) Even if they're anorexic

[HEIRESS]

my favorite yelling at people phrase of late is

"stick a dick in yah mouth yah bitch"

yay for witty hip hop lyrics!

[HEIRESS]

this was more first/second year for me

"suck my non-existant balls yo"