Mourning period allowed for ex's....before they are officially pathetic

[Qdrop]

okay, in the grand tradition of BBMB personal life venting:

...i've been with my girl exclusively for over a year now...like...15 months.
she broke it off with her ex of 4 years back on january of 2004....and had the police remove him from the apartment building about 2 months later (he "couldn't" find another place to live, but proceeded to harrass the shit out of her and leech of her), this was before i really met her.
so she dumped him...and finally kicked him out in march 2004...i got with her in june 2004 or so.
the kid never stopped harrassing her from the get go.
calling 15 times a day. trying to find her at bars or clubs. finding her online journals on the internet and harrassing her.
but he would never say shit to me when i saw him out....nothing.
other than "hi bradd...."
so she changed her number so he couldn't call anymore...

the problem was that they had a dog...and she was trying to be nice and still let him take the dog occasionally, for like a week at a time.
but he had to call my phone to "make an appointment"....cause the kid was nice a pie with ME on the phone.

finally...the harrassment curtailed into nothing....all seemed fine. he seemed over all of it as of a few months ago. he got engaged...seemed to be moving on.
she told him that she was done sharing the dog...me and her were buying a house...time for him to move on.
he said fine...
that was like 1 month ago.


all of the sudden...he's back to his old shit. finding her online on any local message boards or online journal she has, and leaving vulgar, harrassing messages....
having his FRIENDS (not his cowardly ass) call my phone to harrass her...(they still won't say shit to me).

it's august 2005....he's still obsessed with her.
fuck this shit, it's clobberin time.

i'm done being the mediator of sorts....i'm takin the fight to him.

should i have ANY remourse for this kid?
shouldn't he have completely moved on by now? no matter how long they had been together?
it's been like a year and a half!
the fuck!?

[JBernas]

he's pathetic.....get a restraining order

[CiaoBellaXO]

forward all the messages to his finace and see what she thinks about him still being in love with his ex.

[ericlee]

so it seems he fears you and won't even talk to you...

Maybe if you just first told him to leave her the fuck alone might be good enough.

[wavin_goodbye]

have you talked to him? has your girlfriend talked to him? (you didn't mention any communication steps that you or her made) maybe there's something deeper than just "not being over" her... maybe he just needs some guidance (psychologists)


PS: why was your girlfriend dating kids?

[mickill]

I'd have crushed him with my muscles by now.


Yeah man, I think enough time has passed. It's officially befitting to administer physical harm to him when you see him.

[wanton wench]

this better not be the first time you have thought about kickin his ass?
what are you waiting for?
he needs a swift kick in the ass then maybe he'll get over her!
you have to defend your girl!

[Qdrop]

forward all the messages to his fiance and see what she thinks about him still being in love with his ex.

yes, we are considering that.


so it seems he fears you and won't even talk to you...

Maybe if you just first told him to leave her the fuck alone might be good enough.

have you talked to him? has your girlfriend talked to him? (you didn't mention any communication steps that you or her made) maybe there's something deeper than just "not being over" her... maybe he just needs some guidance (psychologists)

Yeah man, I think enough time has passed. It's officially befitting to administer physical harm to him when you see him.

this better not be the first time you have thought about kickin his ass?
what are you waiting for?
he needs a swift kick in the ass then maybe he'll get over her!
you have to defend your girl!

rest assured, i have pleaded numerous times over the past 1.5 years to remove his throat with my bare hands...
but my girl pleaded with me to not touch him, as he would press charges instantly...
and she also said he was sincerly emotionally fucked, and to just be patient.

but she's fed up now...she wants him "removed" from her life.
she gave me free pass....i can do whatever i want.

i will begin with a personal threatening convestation when next i see him....then i will have to walk away quickly as the stench from his shitty underwear will fill the room quickly.

if he persists (which i doubt)....i hurt him. badly.



PS: why was your girlfriend dating kids? i don't get this part. huh?

[wavin_goodbye]

you kept calling him a kid.


personally, using violence to achieve something never really strikes me as the right idea - but i guess that's more of a personal ideal of mine.. obviously not shared by most people

[CiaoBellaXO]

Q-if you beat this guy up you will just be as dirty and low as him. Plus he sounds like the type of guy who would sue and then you'd be in a whole other delima.

[mickill]

Psssh. Violence solves everything. Go back to handing out daisies at the airport, ya hippies.

[Qdrop]

you kept calling him a kid.


personally, using violence to achieve something never really strikes me as the right idea - but i guess that's more of a personal ideal of mine.. obviously not shared by most people

i don't WANT to resort to violence...
i mean, impulsively...yes.

but it won't be fun dealing with the police, and possible lawsuit shit, ect...

but hey...i'm not gonna be a little bitch.
restraining orders don't do much....he needs to get the message personally.

he needs to feel fear, from me. he needs to know that from now on.....
for every action he takes....i will come back harder.
he won't win.

[JBernas]

i don't WANT to resort to violence...
i mean, impulsively...yes.

but it won't be fun dealing with the police, and possible lawsuit shit, ect...

but hey...i'm not gonna be a little bitch.
restraining orders don't do much....he needs to get the message personally.

he needs to feel fear, from me. he needs to know that from now on.....
for every action he takes....i will come back harder.
he won't win.

But if he's the type to call the police and press charges on you for threatening him or hitting him, then you won't get anywhere except jail and then court. File the restraining order and then everytime he comes by, calls etc, he'll be arrested. He'll get the idea soon enough that it's not worth it.

Unless of course, you can figure a way to have him hit you first (with witnesses), then you can beat his ass and he can't do anything about it since you were defending yourself (y)

[CiaoBellaXO]

i don't WANT to resort to violence...
i mean, impulsively...yes.

but it won't be fun dealing with the police, and possible lawsuit shit, ect...

but hey...i'm not gonna be a little bitch.
restraining orders don't do much....he needs to get the message personally.

he needs to feel fear, from me. he needs to know that from now on.....
for every action he takes....i will come back harder.
he won't win.

you and my ex should get together and go bowling...you remind me of him!

[Qdrop]

But if he's the type to call the police and press charges on you for threatening him or hitting him, then you won't get anywhere except jail and then court. File the restraining order and then everytime he comes by, calls etc, he'll be arrested. He'll get the idea soon enough that it's not worth it.

Unless of course, you can figure a way to have him hit you first (with witnesses), then you can beat his ass and he can't do anything about it since you were defending yourself (y)

dammit. you're so logical.

*folds arms* hmph.


yer probably right.


can i hit him just once? one headbutt to the nose...or one right hook across the jaw?
please?

[wavin_goodbye]

what would you do if he or one of his friends beat up your girlfriend? ... it's a vicious cycle ...

[Qdrop]

what would you do if he or one of his friends beat up your girlfriend? ... it's a vicious cycle ...
that just made me naseous.

if that happened, you wouldn't be hearing from me for a long time...except on Court TV...

[wavin_goodbye]

it's unfortunate that your "nauseaousness" doesn't lead to something more intelligent :(

hypothetically (and by no means would i ever want this to happen) if said scenario did happen, something tells me hurting or even killing the guy wouldn't do shit for your girlfriend

[mickill]

dammit. you're so logical.

*folds arms* hmph.


yer probably right.


can i hit him just once? one headbutt to the nose...or one right hook across the jaw?
please?

Dude, here's what you do: Just buy a micro voice disguiser, dress in all black, put on a ski mask, and wear some infrared goggles and wait for that dude outside of his house, under his car. Oh, and bring a whip. When he goes to get in his car, grab him by the legs and pull him to the ground. Then jump out and you crack that whip 5 times, narrowly missing his face each time. Then you speak to him in that disguised voice of yours and you tell him to get out of town before sundown or else you'll be back. And tell him that you won't be missing his fat head next time. That oughta do it.

[Qdrop]

Dude, here's what you do: Just buy a micro voice disguiser, dress in all black, put on a ski mask, and wear some infrared goggles and wait for that dude outside of his house, under his car. Oh, and bring a whip. When he goes to get in his car, grab him by the legs and pull him to the ground. Then jump out and you crack that whip 5 times, narrowly missing his face each time. Then you speak to him in that disguised voice of yours and you tell him to get out of town before sundown or else you'll be back. And tell him that you won't be missing his fat head next time. That oughta do it.

ahhh....college.
those were good years.

[wanton wench]

why dont you start harassing him? like he does to your girl. dont get violent (if he's a whinney ass whimp and is going to call the cops) yet, just follow him around one day or start calling him a bunch of times everyday! or better yet call his fiancee!

[mickill]

...or better yet call his fiancee!
Yeah. What she said. You should hook up with his fiance and hump her! You read my mind, wanton wench.

[JBernas]

can i hit him just once? one headbutt to the nose...or one right hook across the jaw?
please?

Sure....after he hits you (or tries to hit you) first...then you can do whatever you want to him. Then you still file the restraining order (because since he attacked you, you don't feel safe) and wash your hands of him....ta da. ;)

[mickill]

Yeah, Q. If you got an order of protection against him, you'd be da man, man.

[Qdrop]

Sure....after he hits you (or tries to hit you) first...then you can do whatever you want to him. Then you still file the restraining order (because since he attacked you, you don't feel safe) and wash your hands of him....ta da. ;)
i want you to come work for me.

how much do you charge?

[Qdrop]

Yeah, Q. If you got an order of protection against him, you'd be da man, man.

anything to impress you..


can you flex for me again?

[wanton wench]

Yeah. What she said. You should hook up with his fiance and hump her! You read my mind, wanton wench.
i dont know that i ment hump her..................ok well maybe!
but i'm sure he could come up with inventive ways to bother her!

[mickill]

anything to impress you..


can you flex for me again?
It'll cost.

But smiles are free, m'man.

[JBernas]

i want you to come work for me.

how much do you charge?

I'm actually in the market for a new job.....hmmmm

[diget]

Step 1(Completely Nessecary) - Get up in his face and tell him to Fuck off, or he'll regret it.

Step 2(Only Nessecary if he doesn't get the hint) - Get a bunch of your boyz and trash his house/apartement/whatever.

Step 3(Only Nessecary if he STILL doens't get the hint) - Get your boyz together and break his kneecaps.

[JBernas]

dammit. you're so logical.

this is Mr. JBernas' complaint about me sometimes....give me a scenario, and I'll think it six ways to Sunday :D

[Qdrop]

and I'll think it six ways to Sunday :D
what a bizarre phrase.

how does one go about doing that?

[firecracker726]

It's strange to get on this message board and see ya'll talking about my ex - really seriously bizarre..... I know that Bradd wants to fuck him up.... and in the past I've said it wouldn't prove anything, would just be stooping to his level, blah blah blah, but now.... well I just wish he would go away. I've tried to talk to him, be reasonable but he seems intent on hanging like a black cloud over my life. I paid for the dog... she's mine now.... and he thinks he can hold that over me... I mean the guy needs to grow up and I just wish I could meet his new fiance and warn her but hey maybe she likes guys who still live with their mom, can't hold down a steady job, would rather play video games then have sex, and have gay tendencies...... :confused:

[RobMoney]

OUCH......OWNED




anyway, I've been involved in a very similar situation. Beating his ass, while satisifying to you Q, will do absolutely nothing. It won't make him stop. He is obsessed.

[cosmo105]

yup. get the law involved. it was the only thing that finally made my ex get the idea to STOP CALLING ME, several months after i had kicked him out of my house, oh, and then there was the time that he BROKE IN AND CUT THE POWER WHILE MY FAMILY WAS SLEEPING and i had to pin his drunk ass down waiting for the cops to come. HE STILL CALLED ME AFTER THAT!!

it's a long process and can be really rough - it took me 3 times to actually go through with it - but a restraining order might be what you need.

[beastieangel01]

^what she said.

[synch]

Allowed mourning period: infinity.

Allowed herrassing period: zilch.

[afronaut]

Oi, I wanted to make a thread about something like this, but it just wasnt interesting enough to warrant a whole thread.

Anyhow, this friend of mine, his girlfriend broke up with him a while ago. Like over six months. Or so he says. I have absolutely no sense of time at all this year.

Nearing the six month mark of when they broke up. This was about a week before that Bonaroo festival. I went with this guy to that. Anyway, he finds out this ex of his is going to bonnaroo as well. for some reason, this totally f's him up. like, all crazynshit. so like, he's freaking out. and i get in the car with him. stupid move, I know. but it was either that or be stranded at his church. so i take my chances with this frickin nutcase. so he goes driving aimlessly, and listening to this alice in chains tape real loud. and he's going like, 70-80 mph on these dangerous back roads. i'm kinda defacating myself in the passenger seat.

so then he starts fucking punching shit in his car. like, hard, man. so he's punching shit, and i know he's going to ram into a goddamn tree or something. so i'm trying to get him to pull over and let me out of this fuckin deathtrap. anyway, he's going like 80, punching shit in his car, and singing alice in chains at the top of his lungs, and we go over a bridge. ok, and we didnt just go over a bridge, we almost literally DID go over a bridge. yeah, maybe it wasnt as bad as i remember it. but i yelled at him, and i'm still kinda pissed at him.

So fast forward a little while to about a couple weeks ago. He's dropped off the face of the planet and I haven't heard from him in awhile. I drive over to his place to see what the hells up, you see. well, he's there, and he's visibly sorta fucked up.

supposedly he hadn't been out of his room for like two weeks. he smelled like it too. and according to him has suffered a mental/emotional breakdown. I forget which one he said he suffered. Whatever.

This kid is pretty much useless now, because of this whore of a hippy chick. He stopped working, stopped socializing. Does nothing. He's a vegetable. I mean, I can understand being kinda upset and shit. You know, whatever. But damn, man.


But anyway, this is what pisses me off, is when guys are abusive to their ex's and shit, and bring other people into it. You see, he's being a total fucking dick to her. verbally abusing her, and honestly trying to ruin her life. calling up her parents and telling them she's a slut, spreading rumors about her, talking general shit to anyone who will listen, and he's considering bringing her parents into it again, and telling them a bunch of private shit she shared with him. like private sexual shit. and like, really verbally abusing her any time he see's her.

maybe he's just bitter that he was retarded enough not to accept any sexual favors from her while they were going out.

but anyway, i've been seeing a few people acting this way lately. If you have to be abusive to your ex, at least be mature enough to not bring other people into your little shitfest, and especially not the parents. Nobody read this post.

[Documad]

Ms. Firecracker or you need to tell him that the next time he communicates with her in any manner you're going to get a restraining order.

If it doesn't stop, she needs to write down and save all the messages and put down the details of what he has said. Then you go to the courthouse and see about a restaining order.


There are a couple of problems with violence. If you touch him, you're a criminal. His conduct as explained by you here does not legally justify violence on your part. If you threaten him with violence, that is also a crime. He can have you arrested and/or get a restraining order himself and then he has enormous power over you.

More importantly, you said he's a little unstable. All the more reason to go for the restraining order. I worked on a case where the ex-boyfriend killed the new boyfriend. The new boyfriend was a big tough, biker dude who was standing up for his woman. But the ex-boyfriend had a shotgun. And he got the new boyfriend while he was sleeping.

[JBernas]

what a bizarre phrase.

how does one go about doing that?

It's a special talent only few possess...

[synch]

Nobody read this post.
Could you put that in your first line next time? :(

Nah, like I said, if you want to be miserable, so be it, but don't go herrassing your ex.

[Qdrop]

guys who still live with their mom, can't hold down a steady job, would rather play video games then have sex, and have gay tendencies...... :confused:

hahha....
yeah, i should whip his ass just for that...


alright alright...
i'll use my head....
getting arrested and jailed on this kids account would burn me worse than anything...

plus, i have to come clean....this EX also currently has a broken back (he is a part time roofer and took a nasty fall), so i can't go beating up a cripple.
the courts would roast me.

[synch]

Tell them the gay tendencies thing, no jury would convict you.

[Rich Cheney]

bash his kneecaps.