So who's been a best man in a wedding before....

[Qdrop]

This is my second Best Man postion in 8 months....
and, while my last "best man's toast" went okay (made the groom cry), i am determined to do a better one, and actually write it down this time....

who wants to write it for me?




kidding....but who has some suggestions? i'm going online to find some good quotes and templates....but this is fuckin difficult.

[adam_f]

edit: too damn stupid.

[NurfBallJeaneus]

Sept. 3rd....just threw the stag this weekend

If you don't mind....PM if you get any good ideas because I'm really fucking pressed for time and stuck for ideas.

[adam_f]

I've only been to two weddings. One was great. The other ended with the groom's uncle saying 'You'll be divorced in two years. I know it.' He just walked away after that.

[Qdrop]

I've only been to two weddings. One was great. The other ended with the groom's uncle saying 'You'll be divorced in two years. I know it.' He just walked away after that.

Ha! that's awesome!

that's going in the speech somewhere.....



tell me about it.

[adam_f]

I wouldn't say it. There was absolutely no reaction to it because no one could tell if he was serious.

[Qdrop]

I wouldn't say it. There was absolutely no reaction to it because no one could tell if he was serious.

i'm kidding...i ain't gonna put that in, dork.

but it still sounds like a good story....
spill it ....give us some background...


*puts chin on folded hands while sitting indian-style*

[adam_f]

Sarcasm works better in real life.

[wanton wench]

i remember when my dad was the best man for someone who worked for him he said all this lovey dovey stuff and how happy they would be and bla bla bla and then at the end he said real loud "OH AND YOUR FIRED" and walked off the stage. it was great. everyone kinda looked around all unsure if he was joking. which he wasnt.

my dad was a very interesting man!

[Qdrop]

^ fucking rad.

[bigblu89]

I know eventually when my buddy that was my best man gets married, he's going ask me to be his best man. And I am dreading the speach.

I'm a terrible public speaker.

[Echewta]

Sometimes a song works best when words cant.

[Rock]

My friend recently told me that he has only been to two weddings his whole life. His mom's and his dad's. It made me roll on the floor HAHAHAing.
I think being a best man ends up being a burden more than an honor. Sort of. Ok, not really, but it can be a burden.

[miss soul fire]

I've been a maid of honor in my sister's wedding at 1999, but I didn't have to say anything!! Just sign!:D

[Qdrop]

My friend recently told me that he has only been to two weddings his whole life. His mom's and his dad's. It made me roll on the floor HAHAHAing.
I think being a best man ends up being a burden more than an honor. Sort of. Ok, not really, but it can be a burden.

no, it's a burden.

a complete burden.
and expensive, time consuming, stressful, burden.

after 2 in 8 months....i've warned my other friends to look elsewhere for a best man in thier future weddings....
i'm done...

[sam i am]

Ok, Q -

Here goes from a groom in a few days...

What we WANT to hear is something that MOST people will think is funny and endearing at the same time. Forget the story about how you got tracked down by the police for throwing apples at passing cars or the time you smoke so much pot that you couldn't find your car after the concert, etc....

TRY to concentrate on what is the "soul" of the person (although this may be hard for you as a secular humanist... :) ) . But, you know what I mean - talk about how you feel about the other person, what you hope their lives together will be like, etc.

DON'T get drunk before you do it. If you sing or play an instrument, try a song.

I think it's a good idea to write it down beforehand, practice it a few times in the mirror, don't get nervous, always start with a joke (not too personal or filthy), then relax and talk like you would if you were at the bar or sitting around watching a movie.

Hope that helps....

[Mr_Complex]

I've been thinking of some best man lines for a couple of months now. I figured that I may as well start preparing early.

I thought of an opening line to cut the ice, as it were.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm really nervous about doing this but I'm obviously not as nervous as *insert groom here*. I went into the toilet after him and found this *show brick*."

[NurfBallJeaneus]

no, it's a burden.

a complete burden.
and expensive, time consuming, stressful, burden.

after 2 in 8 months....i've warned my other friends to look elsewhere for a best man in thier future weddings....
i'm done...

I must agree....I've lost so much time and money for this wedding. Hopefully, this will be my only one. It is much better being an usher.

[sam i am]

I've been thinking of some best man lines for a couple of months now. I figured that I may as well start preparing early.

I thought of an opening line to cut the ice, as it were.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm really nervous about doing this but I'm obviously not as nervous as *insert groom here*. I went into the toilet after him and found this *show brick*."

Love it. THAT'S what I'm talkin about.... :cool: :p

[NurfBallJeaneus]

I've been thinking of some best man lines for a couple of months now. I figured that I may as well start preparing early.

I thought of an opening line to cut the ice, as it were.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm really nervous about doing this but I'm obviously not as nervous as *insert groom here*. I went into the toilet after him and found this *show brick*."

I like the build up...but I don't get the punchline....Show brick?

[sam i am]

I like the build up...but I don't get the punchline....Show brick?

C'mon now...."shit a brick" - you've never heard THAT one before? :rolleyes:

[NurfBallJeaneus]

C'mon now...."shit a brick" - you've never heard THAT one before? :rolleyes:

HAHAHAHA....yeah, sorry about the slowness.

That's great.

[CrankItUp!]

Hey - its better going to a wedding than a goddamn funeral ! But I guess us guys consider both the same. :cool:

[YoungRemy]

i was best man in my brother's wedding in october 2003, but it was the first wedding in my adult life i had ever gone to.


you could say i was a little wasted from the night before, i was throwing up on the morning of the ceremony, but i pulled my shit together and gave a speech on the fly...


smashing success all around.

champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

[Documad]

It's much worse being the fucking maid of honor. You have to hang with the stressed out bride for months beforehand, and you go to showers where you take the bows from presents and make them into bouquets using paper plates and shit. And you can't rent your clothes, you buy shoes that are dyed to match a dress you'll never wear again, and her other bridesmaids are guaranteed to be bitches. Plus I am never crazy about the groom and have to bite my lip to keep from screaming during the wedding itself.

[DandyFop]

Talk about how you put pubes on the wedding cake and how you can't wait to screw the bridesmaids!

[QueenAdrock]

kidding....but who has some suggestions? i'm going online to find some good quotes and templates....but this is fuckin difficult.

Go with what Steve Buscemi said in The Wedding Singer. It makes me laugh everytime. (y)

[QueenAdrock]

David (Steve Buscemi): "When my brother Harrold asked me to be the best man at his wedding, I was like of course man. You've always been ther for me, like when I was in rehab, and like the time I couldn't find my car. Cause Harrold has always been the dependable one, and I've always been the screwed up one. Right dad? Why can't you be more like your brother? Harrold would never beat up his landlord. But uh, newsflash pop, Harrold ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Puero Rico when we picked up those two uh, well I guess they were prostitutes but I don't remember paying."

Robbie: "Ok, how about that."

David: "How about that. I'm a person too pop god damnit. I'm a person too."

Father of Groom (Jack Nisbet): "You're a moron"

Robbie: "Ok, the best man everybody."

David: "The best man. The better man."

...and then he starts playing a guitar really poorly, and howling. In order to pull this one off, you'll need a lot of alcohol.

[Documad]

In all seriousness, it's much better to be genuine and sweet (and boring) than to try and be funny but fail. I've never seen a truly funny best man in real life.

Play to grandma rather than his old friends from the frat.

[sam i am]

It's much worse being the fucking maid of honor. You have to hang with the stressed out bride for months beforehand, and you go to showers where you take the bows from presents and make them into bouquets using paper plates and shit. And you can't rent your clothes, you buy shoes that are dyed to match a dress you'll never wear again, and her other bridesmaids are guaranteed to be bitches. Plus I am never crazy about the groom and have to bite my lip to keep from screaming during the wedding itself.

Wow. And you said I was bi-polar....

Talk about your repressed anger, Documad.... :p

[sam i am]

David (Steve Buscemi): "When my brother Harrold asked me to be the best man at his wedding, I was like of course man. You've always been ther for me, like when I was in rehab, and like the time I couldn't find my car. Cause Harrold has always been the dependable one, and I've always been the screwed up one. Right dad? Why can't you be more like your brother? Harrold would never beat up his landlord. But uh, newsflash pop, Harrold ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Puero Rico when we picked up those two uh, well I guess they were prostitutes but I don't remember paying."

Robbie: "Ok, how about that."

David: "How about that. I'm a person too pop god damnit. I'm a person too."

Father of Groom (Jack Nisbet): "You're a moron"

Robbie: "Ok, the best man everybody."

David: "The best man. The better man."

...and then he starts playing a guitar really poorly, and howling. In order to pull this one off, you'll need a lot of alcohol.

Queen - I'm so proud of you for putting this in here. What a riot!

But, everyone's probably right - go with the simple and sweet and avoid a scene....