A girl at my work committed suicide

[DandyFop]

I just found out today...I went in to work and it was really slow. One girl said yeah, that's probably for the best because of what's been going on around here lately. I was like huh? And she said Scout killed herself the other night.

So sad :( She'd just turned 23 a few days before hand I guess. It's weird because out of all the people there I thought I would become friends easiest with her, she was just so cool, and a hot bisexual to boot. It's a strange spot to be in because I really didn't know her at all, I've barely started to get to know people there. I did know she drank a lot and talked about taking prescription drugs recreationally.

So weird to think about someone that you'll never see again.

[mickill]

I've known a lot of people, many I was close to, that have died of unnatural causes, but I'm glad that there haven't been any suicides. I don't know how I'd feel if I were you, Brabs. That's messed up, though. Sorry.

[CrankItUp!]

Yeah - that is real "bad bad bad" info to find out and have to remember about a person. :(

[Documad]

It's a horrible feeling, even when you don't know the person well.

One of the guys I knew who did it was slightly younger than our crowd and he was always the butt of the older guys' jokes. I never knew the backstory as to how the guys knew each other and he never seemed bothered by it so I didn't give it a thought. Later I felt guilty that I had ignored him. Not that it would have mattered.

[DandyFop]

Yeah a lot of people who I've talked to about it seem to have to say the same thing, like they felt bad that they didn't do anything. But obviously, someone who does this is living in their own private hell. Of course, it's not like she was being bullied or something, that can take a huge toll on someone, but..yeah. I kinda forgot my point.

[Documad]

I think it's natural (and pointless) to think "maybe if I had invited her out for a coffee."

[Audielicious]

I'm sorry about your co-worker, Barb. :(

[Beth]

my older brother committed suicide when i was 16. i felt guilty, then angry, and then just a sadness that bordered on despair. it took me a long time to realize that i couldn't have done a thing to save him even if i'd known what he was planning.

i'm sorry you're having to go through this with your co-worker, and i send my condolences to you, your other co-workers, and the family of your co-worker who committed suicide. if you need someone to talk to that's been there, please call or pm -- whichever you prefer.




*totally unrelated sidenote -- friday was the 5th anniversary of the day i watched my mother die from breast cancer. while it was on my mind all day, i was doing fine until i got home. i was changing my clothes and couldn't answer my phone when it rang. i played the message from bobby's mom, and all i heard was "hi beth, hi bobby, it's mom..." and i just started crying. i can't even explain why, other than i just wished i had a mom to call me up just to say hello. for all of who you still have a mother, take a minute and call her and tell her you appreciate and love her.

fund the fight. find a cure.

[venusvenus123]

that is awful barb :( a guy i worked with a long while back killed himself. it was all quite surreal. he was always such a difficult man and i suppose we all then realised that he was just very unhappy.

...and i'm sorry beth :( i can't imagine life without my mother -- i'm quite dependent on her.

:(

[mp-seventythree]

fund the fight. find a cure.

Nobody has an excuse not to help with this...

[paul jones]

I'm sorry about your co-worker, Barb. :(

[buddylee]

My brother`inlaw hung himself back in the lat 90's .... my son was the last to speek to him . What it does is leave a lota hurt
to the ones who love you.

[BionicEye]

I had a friend kill himself a couple of weeks after we had gotten into a fight, an actual fistfight in front of a crowd of 30 or so kids. we were about 14/15. He did it a couple of days before christmas. A lot of people would come up to me and say they felt bad for me, that he left on bad terms. To tell the truth, other than being angry at him for killing himself, I was still mad at him for being an ass and starting a fight. Everyone made me go to the funeral, which i'm glad i did. i still think about him all the time - many times i'll think i see him pass me on the street, even though i know its not him. Its such a strange feeling for me that he will always be a 15 year old. All the rest of us have grown up, become adults but he will always live in my memory as that short tempered 15 year old son a bitch. i often wonder about his family and what would've been.

*Beth, i'm sorry to hear that. i still have mine, and she can be quite a difficult character to be with, but I do ALWAYS try to savor and appreciate every moment i have with her. she's not perfect but she's mine. though your mom's gone, you're fortunate enough to have kids - and your mom lives on in your love for them.

[bgirl forever!!]

This same thing happened at my job in early July. I knew the guy, too. He was in his 40's and I'm pretty sure he was in the closet (gay). His son (whom he was very proud of before) had just been caught embezzling money with the bank we work for. I guess It all got to be too much for him and he hung himself. It was so sad. I'm kinda glad I was on vacation that week. That would have been really weird to see everyone at work so upset and crying.
:(

Suicide sucks.

[Audielicious]

my older brother committed suicide when i was 16. i felt guilty, then angry, and then just a sadness that bordered on despair. it took me a long time to realize that i couldn't have done a thing to save him even if i'd known what he was planning.

i'm sorry you're having to go through this with your co-worker, and i send my condolences to you, your other co-workers, and the family of your co-worker who committed suicide. if you need someone to talk to that's been there, please call or pm -- whichever you prefer.




*totally unrelated sidenote -- friday was the 5th anniversary of the day i watched my mother die from breast cancer. while it was on my mind all day, i was doing fine until i got home. i was changing my clothes and couldn't answer my phone when it rang. i played the message from bobby's mom, and all i heard was "hi beth, hi bobby, it's mom..." and i just started crying. i can't even explain why, other than i just wished i had a mom to call me up just to say hello. for all of who you still have a mother, take a minute and call her and tell her you appreciate and love her.

fund the fight. find a cure.

Beth, your post made me cry. :(

Suicide is a very hard thing to deal with, especially when you've experienced a suicide in your own family. I too used to blame myself for my Dad's suicide. For years I thought, "Had I just stayed home that day...maybe he wouldn't have done it". Now I know that he already had a set plan in his mind. The weird thing is, out of my two brothers and I...I'm the only one who really cried. But it wasn't mourning. I was also the only one to go to school the very next day. Only because it was the Halloween Parade and I wanted to win the costume contest to make my Dad proud of me. I've asked my Mom, "How the hell did I even DO that?" And she tells me, "It's because you're my daughter, and you're stronger than you know." It took me twenty-five years to finally believe that.

When you talk about your Mom, Beth, especially when you've told me about her on the phone...it truly makes me realize just how many years I've taken my own mother for granted. You're an amazing woman and I admire you for a lot of things but mostly for your warm heart and how you've taught me to be better at being a real "grown up".

To anyone on this board that has ever felt suicidal or contemplated suicide, please call someone and get help. 1-800-SUICIDE has very helpful volunteers.

<3


(lb)

[DandyFop]

It's so so sad to think people are so desperate to give it all up. I hear she had problems with her family but, I am nowhere near to knowing the real story. For me, it's like she's just not at work because I didn't know her.

I've had days where I just wanted to crawl into a hole. Sometimes I think about what it must be like to feel like that all the time, cause you know there are people that do, which leads them to things like that. It takes a lot to keep on keeping on.

[beastieangel01]

I think it's natural (and pointless) to think "maybe if I had invited her out for a coffee."

indeed.

THIS ended up being a SUPER DUPER LONG RESPONSE, so sorry in advance. I just have a personal experience with the issue:

There was this girl I was best friends with in middle school. Her and I lost touch once I switched high schools for 10th grade (I lost touch with most people at the first high school I went to). I would go back to the old high school for the homecoming games though, so I saw her during my sophomore year and she was still the same ol Christina, smiling and always nice to be around. We talked here and there after that, then when I came back the next year, I was sitting with some others friend of mine and was looking around for Christina. I asked one of them "Hey, have you seen Christina around?" and she looked at me kind of funny and said "she commited suicide in July..." (it was then September).

The news hit me so hard. I could not at all believe it, and I could not believe MONTHS have passed and I didn't even KNOW! I didn't go to the funeral since I didn't know... I felt awful, and I went through the "if I only talked to her more to know that something was going on to push her to suicide" thoughts over and over and over. I thought that I could have helped her and that I was a bad person for not keeping in touch with her more often.

It's kind of random, but about 6 months later, I had this dream with her in it. Her and I used to talk about going to each others prom since middle school. In my dream, I was at my prom, and I saw her at the other end of the room. She went through a door to a hall, and I told the people I was with that I would be right back. I went rushing across the room thinking to myself that it couldn't possibly be Christina. Once I was in the hall I couldn't find her, but suddenly I felt someone tug at my hand. It was Christina, looking beautiful in a long, white prom dress. She smiled at me and I started to cry. She pulled me over to sit down at a nearby table. I was sobbing and told her I was sorry, and asked her if she was okay and that I wish I could have done something. She just looked at me with warm eyes, kept her smile, and put a hand on my cheek. I stopped crying right then and looked at her, and smiled back. She then gave me a long, tight hug. Once we let go, I looked away for a moment (trying not to cry more) then turned back to ask her where she has been... but she was gone.

I woke up. And maybe some will think I read in to it too much, but the dream was closure for me. But it's still unfortunate that she decided to take her life. I still miss her. It's unfortunate that people feel that it's the only way.

My condolences.

[BangkokB]

I hope she gets better

My grandfather killed himself when I was 16 and my Mom knew something was wrong with her dad but couldn't put her finger on it. She was going to take him to a shrink on a Saturday and he had the gall to kill himself in his and my grandmothers house that Wednesday. Needless to say my grandmother couldn't live in the house after that. I saw him 2 weeks bf it happened and could tell he wasn't completely there. His doing that turned my life around~ and not in a positive way. We later learned he had hardening of the arteries but its not like that cushions the blow

At least he didn't do it in front of me; or try to take me with him. Mint has more emotional baggage than a Rikki Lake marathon but keeps on ticking like a Timex. So everyones reality is different.

I'm sure we've all had rough patches in our life when the cloud never leaves and we may figure what the fuck why not? It's all how you look at it; it was her life and if she felt that it was the end of the road then so be it. Don't get me started on euthanasia. That's a separate topic for a different time. At least they have the courtesy to tell you they're bowing out and reasons being

[Monsieur Decuts]

All you can do is hope that they reach out...and then you can try and hook them up with a professional. I truly believe I helped avoid a suicide last weekend, but now i'm afraid i'm being latched onto instead of having the real problems dealt with.

Its so hard to understand when you value your own life so much.

[Audielicious]

People that are contemplating suicide will drop hints.

My dad said stuff like, "Let's all kill ourselves." and "You'll see what happens".

My mom offered to get him help but he didn't want to get it because he didn't want to be labeled as a "crazy person". He also would lock himself in his bedroom for a few days and his eating habits changed.

Look for warning signs. If you see a change in someone's behaviour, sleep, or eating patterns...that means that something's going on with them.