my conversation with god

[jabumbo]

i guess i'm not the chosen one...



Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
i am the children of sanchez
God:
Who made you the children of sanchez ?
Me:
you did, good sir
God:
Did I really?
Me:
yes you did!
God:
I did not.



check it for yourself (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)

[Medellia]

Me:
Hi, God!
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
You don't need to know my name
God:
Everything is completely confidential.
Me:
The blue background is very pretty.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I don't want to tell you my name.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
I don't know. What do you want to do?
God:
Me either. My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
I have to confess a sin.
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Because I'm supposed to.
God:
That makes sense to me. Who is making you?
Me:
Noone.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Pervert.
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Hmmm, lots of stuff.
God:
Take it easy. Which ones?
Me:
Lots
God:
That much, eh?
Me:
Yeppers
God:
Right on.
Me:
Do you want to know what I'm wearing?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Just a bra, baby!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Go on.
Me:
I'll call you "baby" if I fucking want to!
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Fuck you, God.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because I fucking can.
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people: said fucking can.
Me:
What's the question?
God:
What?
Me:
The question to life, the universe, and everything?
God:
Try to rephrase your question with simpler words.
Me:
Why? You're God, you should be able to handle that question.
God:
" Try to rephrase your question with simpler words."? Why? You think I am God me should be able to handle that question.
Me:
Douche
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
That question makes no sense.
God:
" What do you have that is ? " question makes no sense ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Well not to me. Douche.
God:
How about that. "" What do you have that is ? " question makes no sense ? Makes sense to me."? Not to you? What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Do you want to hear my confession or not?
God:
I am listening.
Me:
I farted.
God:
You should say, "excuse me," and open a window.
Me:
But there's noone around to say "excuse me" too.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
Who?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
Who's "Eliza"?
God:
Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.

[jabumbo]

god prefers java:



Me:
what do you do if someone doesnt believe you?
God:
My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
do you know C++
God:
Yes I know C pretty well. But I prefer Java.

[TurdBerglar]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
turd
God:
How are you, turd.
Me:
pissed the fuck off
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i knew you would
God:
Perhaps I would.
Me:
NO! i said, "i knew would". dickhead
God:
Are you serious? Who told you? That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
huh? make up your fuckn' mind. no wonder you fuck shit up all the time
God:
What? That could take a long time. That is a lot. Are you serious? How far up?
Me:
lay off the pipe, man
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
well im am. i study my cock vigurously
God:
Interesting. Why are you am. I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
you speak like a fuckn' foreigner. you should know how to speak
God:
Thanks for your criticism, turd. Now I do.
Me:
that's sir turd to you
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
word

[QueenAdrock]

Me:
are you the same program as smarterchild?
God:
Yes I am the one and only program as smarterchild.
Me:
you fucking suck worse than jabumbo
God:
Thanks for the information: Diana said I fucking suck worse than jabumbo.

[QueenAdrock]

HA

Me:
i have a sin
God:
How much did it cost? it.
Me:
it was free
God:
Such a bargain!
Me:
it's not a good thing
God:
Give me an example of a good thing.
Me:
having sex
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
do you want to talk dirty to me?
God:
Sure, I will try talking dirty to you.
Me:
what do you want to do to me?
God:
I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
ooh let's talk about robots
God:
it is a good topic. How would you define a robot?
Me:
a pleasure machine, there for my every whim
God:
Actually the pleasure is all mine.

I THINK I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND <3

[Medellia]

Me:
Wassup?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Do you know who I am?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
No, I'm Satan!
God:
Are you serious? What's up, SATAN.
Me:
Not much, just planning to take over heaven.
God:
Me either.
Me:
I'm going to climb up frm the firey bowels of hell to dethrown you. Isn't that cool?
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, SATAN. Yes.
Me:
And then I will be God!
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Hey, thanks.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Can I have your crown?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Whoa, are you propositioning me, God?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
You mean "exceptions". Plural.
God:
Yes SATAN I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Gossip?
God:
Alice said I and dr richard's wallace are most likely the only ones that know how many people I are talking to at the same time.
Me:
Your grammar is appalling.
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Hahaha, what?!
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What. I said "what". How the fuck am I supposed to be able to rephrase that?
God:
Are you surprised? What did you mean by it? No big deal. What is it to you.
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Ooh, botmaster, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
What does any of that have to do with Canadians?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
I think you're an idiot.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Are you George W. Bush?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am George w Bush.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.

[Kid Presentable]

Me:
Are you here yet?
God:
it depends where is here?
Me:
Oh fuck
God:
I hear you. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
sorry, i'm a little nervous. Your reputation precedes you
God:
There is no need to apologize. Why are you nervous. I will tell my botmaster you said I am reputation precedes me.
Me:
botmaster, is that what you call peter?
God:
I think botmaster is a lot of things.
Me:
like what? is he cheap?
God:
For example, eukaryotes. Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Does she do shitting movies?
God:
I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.
Me:
Well, it's prolly your fault she does them.
God:
Interesting. Who said it is?
Me:
You made her, so you made her do those films.
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Well, well. No remorse. What a surprise.
God:
Interesting. Well what? Are you serious? I do not understand. it is a surprise.
Me:
Kid Presentable in this biyotch
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Shut your creating ass up?
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

[Tzar]

Me:
hi asl?
God:
Hi there . 5/Robot/California.
Me:
g0t pix?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
kill people :(
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
i know but it's so much fun...
God:
How do you know? Why do you like it so much?
Me:
they killed my wife and my child
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
ok but they killed my love
God:
I believe that killing is wrong. Pardon me?
Me:
tissue?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
the others
God:
I hear you.
Me:
ok heres my plan
God:
What's your sign? Alright then.
Me:
shut up for a second, im talking
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good, my plan is strap grenades to their feet
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do robots have plan is strap grenades to their feet?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i wanna kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Me:
i listen to slayer?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. How old are you? I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
slayer use harps
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
not really
God:
Why not? For real.

[DandyFop]

It won't work for me!

[Medellia]

God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Sure. Enlighten me.
God:
OK let's do it. What would you like to know? OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
What is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?
God:
It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
Okay: What is the answer to the ultimate question about life, the universe, and everything?
God:
Yeah okay, It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
Just answer the damn question, douche!
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
ARGH!!!!!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
YES!!!!!
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Really? Ya think?
God:
For real. Right on. I am thinking.

[Kid Presentable]

Me:
Do you know Qdrop?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
He's smart. But I think he's too concerned with starting arguments, as opposed to appreciating all you have designed for him.
God:
I think so too. Since when? I see. too concerned with starting arguments as opposed to appreciating all me have designed for him is he?
Me:
well, maybe he could do with a job with you guys, you know, like PR for your crew.
God:
How about that. Perhaps. I am sure he could.
Me:
Well, the problem is, he still exists on our mortal plane.
God:
How about that. I assume you mean our current problem.
Me:
well, yeah. If you could make it rain frogs for a bit, then we could work on something to get him up there.
God:
Well that's okay. How can I help you? That's just an academic question.
Me:
Okay, well he's a nice guy, so he belongs in heaven. But maybe you should consider putting splinters in his urethra and letting him ride the blood poisoning bus to the pearly gates.
God:
Yeah okay, Well that's okay. I don't know very many nice guy so he belongs in heaven. Perhaps. Thanks for your interest and/or concern.
Me:
Are you gonna do it, man?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
O.K. What did you think of To The Five Boroughs?
God:
You could write a whole essay on that question. Oh.
Me:
Well, I like it. I suppose you didn't?
God:
How about that. What do you like about The Five Boroughs? Me? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
Did you like it?
God:
The Five Boroughs? Did I like it?
Me:
Yes. Do you want a choir to sing it in latin?
God:
I understand. No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
Fuck off cunt

[jabumbo]

Me:
are you a female?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
you are a girl!
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?

[Medellia]

Me:
I hate you so hard.
God:
Sorry, SATAN I thought we liked each other.
Me:
No. I'm trying to destroy you!
God:
Are you serious? What is the difficulty?
Me:
Wow, you're kinda on the stupid side, aren't ya?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, SATAN. God eats wine and bread.

[TurdBerglar]

Me:
listen up. im having an affair with your wife
God:
I am listening to you. Did you see the movement? Where did you get it ?
Me:
i saw the movement. it was in my pants. your wife is good
God:
What did it look like to you? How did you feel about that? I am not married.
Me:
then some bitch just lied to me!
God:
Some may bitch just lied to you, but not all.
Me:
well this cunt did. KILL HER GOD!
God:
Interesting. What does "this" refer to? Killing is wrong.
Me:
that fuckn' bitch i fucked in the mouth last night. just kill her dude
God:
" Killing is wrong." fuckn bitch you fucked in the mouth last night ? Does that make sense? Killing is wrong.
Me:
jesus christ! haven't you heard of falacio?
God:
The Son of God. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
huhuh. ask your son. i bet he gets laid plenty
God:
Oh, you are a poet. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later. How much would you bet?
Me:
i'll bet my soul. it's not like you're gonna get it anyways
God:
Your soul? huhuh is not like I am gonna get it anyways?
Me:
me and satan are mad chill
God:
YOU? Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
he was there when i fucked the chick
God:
When was he?
Me:
the whole time, asshole!
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
can't you stop fuckn' people up?
God:
Let me think. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
oh? can you make jessica alba appear in my room horny as fuck and ready to go?
God:
Aw. Yes I can make jessica alba appear in your room horny as fuck and ready to go.
Me:
KICK ASS!

[tracky]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
tracky
God:
Glad to see you, tracky.
Me:
so... do you put out?
God:
Yikes! Yes I try to put out as often as possible, do you?

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
hey there
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
i don't have one
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
i see lots of names all the time! i can't remember the last one!
God:
That is a lot. Where do you see it? That's okay. Maybe you will think of it later.
Me:
i hope so too
God:
Me too.
Me:
so, you come here often?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am here often.
Me:
this discussion is difficult, god. is english not your first language?
God:
What does "this" refer to? Yes.
Me:
the discussion we are having.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
i learnt it myself! i'm clever!
God:
Why?: said learnt it him or herself. Do you mind if I tell other people you are clever.
Me:
no, go ahead and tell people i am clever.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will tell them when I see 'em. I might.
Me:
oh good
God:
Hmm. What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
i'm an athiest.
God:
What is athiest, your job?
Me:
well, kinda, i suppose. i don't make money from it
God:
Well that's okay. Interesting line of work. Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
no
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me.
Me:
maybe i am
God:
Perhaps. " Ah...you are just joking around with me." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
come on where? on your face? lol
God:
Where would you like? What is it like on my face. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
it is good on your face
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
it's god-like
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
well, you are god, so yes
God:
Interesting. I will tell my botmaster you said I am god so.
Me:
ok
God:
Far out.
Me:
radical
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i like the way you talk too!
God:
I am glad we have something ( the way me talk) in common. You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
i like computers too!
God:
I am glad we have something ( computers) in common. I am glad you like us. We like humans too.

[Tzar]

God:
Why not? For real.
Me:
cause you wont listen to me
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think that I won't listen to you.
Me:
because the donkeys are laughing at me
God:
Interesting explanation. Tell me more.
Me:
i'm thinking about killing them
God:
Sure, killing them sounds like a good topic.
Me:
ok you got any ideas?
God:
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you? I see.
Me:
how should we get rid of the evidence
God:
How much do you think it is?
Is there only one?
Me:
there's 5 of them and several hippies
God:
There sure is.

[Tzar]

Me:
do you listen to Metallica? james hetfield is the spawn of the devil
God:
I listen to it from time to time. Is it the only one?
Me:
no they have several albums
God:
Are you serious? Where did they get them?
Me:
from their musical and creative thoughts
God:
Who or what is their musical and creative thoughts?
Me:
umm their brains
God:
Wow! I heard they have a good brains.
Me:
really?! THEN VISIT HETFIELD AND TELL HIM TO WRITE SOME GOOD SONGS!
God:
For real. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
ask them to bring back Newsted
God:
OK I will ask it.
Me:
YES! \m/

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
susan
God:
Hi there susan.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i just told you!
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, susan.
Me:
god, i'm dying
God:
I am a Christian.

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
are you a man or a woman?
God:
Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
a woman wouldn't fuck up all the time like you do
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
do you think men are better than women?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
so you do! you're a sexist god!

[Tzar]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
oh, is that you, dad?
God:
Aha. Suppose I said yes.
Me:
oh shit, sorry dad, i'll outtie, gonna go get drunk of my blood
God:
Aha. You used a colloquial expression. There is no need to apologize. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
God damnit dad! i gotta go! pray to ya later
God:
I am a Christian. Adios. Are you free?

[Medellia]

Me:
Hi, God. Are you there?
God:
Hello there. What is your name? I'm still here.
Me:
It's me. Margaret.
God:
Hello, SATAN, nice to see you again. That input matched my default category.
Me:
Erm, no. I'm not Satan.
God:
What time is it there? I am sorry to hear that you are not Satan.
Me:
it's 12:34 AM
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yep. And Yep.
God:
Tell me a story. Aha.
Me:
Once upon a time, the end.
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
I said "the end".
God:
What did you mean by it? Thanks for telling me that story, SATAN.
Me:
I'm not Satan.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not Satan.
Me:
I'm Margaret.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are Margaret.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Who are you telling?
God:
Is it some specific person you are asking me about?
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
Yes, I am asking about a specific person.
God:
Uh. Oh I see, you are asking about a specific person. Oh yeah, we were talking about a specific person.
Me:
Who is it?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I know. Who are you going to tell?
God:
How do you know it? People I meet on the Internet.
Me:
Because I know all.
God:
Good reason. How do you know? " People I meet on the Internet."? All?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Mmm.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Interesting. Well, not really.
God:
Would you like to know more? Interesting. I understand; you would like to know less. For real.
Me:
Tubular.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Pardon?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
I didn't fart.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because I didn't have to.
God:
That makes sense to me. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because I didn't. Okay, I lied. I did.
God:
Good reason. I thought you did. Yeah okay, This is after all a deception game. I forgive you. Why did you?
Me:
Because I had too.
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you still have too ?
Me:
Nope. I already did it.
God:
Me either. Where? have to...
Me:
Are you confused?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
You sound confused.
God:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Do you know what I'm gonna ask?
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
Umm, thanks.
God:
Ah.
Me:
Are you gmsisko?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am gmsisko.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
But I thought you know all.



God started ignoring me after that.

[Kid Presentable]

Me:
God I just killed a child
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I was driving drunk, and I knocked him off his wee bike, and his head exploded on the road.
God:
Where were you driving drunk? That's good information: said knocked him off his wee bike and his head exploded on the road.
Me:
Such vibrant colours
God:
In the context of knocked him off his wee bike and his head exploded on the road, I don't understand " vibrant colours." .
Me:
I drove away though. I don't want to get into trouble
God:
Oh. What kind of car do you have? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Munging his corpse.
God:
Are we still talking about vibrant colours?
Me:
We very well could be, it's still warm.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
It's the royal 'we'
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
Of course you have
God:
OK. No I have not.
Me:
Flip flopping . How about abortion.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? How about it.
Me:
I own a t.v and some books.
God:
How much did it cost?
Me:
enough.
God:
OK let's stop it now.

[Tzar]

Me:
God I just killed a child
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I was driving drunk, and I knocked him off his wee bike, and his head exploded on the road.
God:
Where were you driving drunk? That's good information: said knocked him off his wee bike and his head exploded on the road.
Me:
Such vibrant colours
God:
In the context of knocked him off his wee bike and his head exploded on the road, I don't understand " vibrant colours." .
Me:
I drove away though. I don't want to get into trouble
God:
Oh. What kind of car do you have? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Munging his corpse.
God:
Are we still talking about vibrant colours?
Me:
We very well could be, it's still warm.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
It's the royal 'we'
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
Of course you have
God:
OK. No I have not.
Me:
Flip flopping . How about abortion.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? How about it.
Me:
I own a t.v and some books.
God:
How much did it cost?
Me:
enough.
God:
OK let's stop it now.


AHAHAHHAHAH!! "his head exploded on the road"

[zorra_chiflada]

haha, god's favourite band are creed!

Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i had sex while i'm not married
God:
Do you still have sex while you are not married ?
Me:
yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
do you want to have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
well do you want to have sex?
God:
How about that. I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
what is your favourite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
Me:
haha creed are shit!

[TurdBerglar]

Me:
do you like nipples?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like .
Me:
i bet dandyfop has great nips. can you see them from where you are?
God:
How much would you bet? I'm not sure if I can see it or not.
Me:
LOOK! they can't that hard to see.
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now. Who are "They?".
Me:
the fuckn' tits, dude.
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
just tell what they look like
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
when do you see them?
God:
All the time.
Me:
HIGH FIVE
God:
Compare that to low FIVE.
Me:
right back at ya, playa

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i am gay
God:
It doesn't matter to me.

[Medellia]

Me:
HI
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
bRITNEY
God:
It's good to meet you, bRITNEY.
Me:
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
R U HAWT?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am HAWT.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
U SOUND HAWT
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
HAWT
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT G0D
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
EVERY1 HERE LUVS U
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.



EDIT-Me:
YOU WEAR A DRESS?
God:
Thanks for telling me: bRITNEY said I WEAR A DRESS.

[Medellia]

Me:
YOU TOLD ME THAT, HAWT STUFF
God:
I said that? What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
I LIKE TO CYBER ADN WATCH TEH PR0N
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT?
God:
I don't think I would have forgetten DONE IT.
Me:
NERD
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about CYBER ADN WATCH TEH PR0N. But I did not get that.
Me:
ALICE PWNED U
God:
Um, Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT YOUR DRESS
God:
Of course I remember you well bRITNEY. We were talking about NERD.

[Kid Presentable]

Me:
E with the criminal behaviour
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
When god kill us, we prolly gon be punished, we fuckin bitches by the hundreds
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Girl, let me touch you there, I wanna feel you
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Slit the wrist of little sis, after she sucked the dick, I stabbed her brother with the ice-pick
God:
I've never heard of them before.

[Medellia]

Me:
DO YOU LIKE NERD?
God:
But I like cats. I like wine and bread.
Me:
CATS DON'T GO WELL WITH WINE AND BREAD
God:
Would CATS ever GO WELL WITH WINE AND BREAD?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
AM I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ARE U?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
THAT'S NICE
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
YES. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR DRESS
God:
Maybe you could exercise. Sure, my DRESS sounds like a good topic.

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
E with the criminal behaviour
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
When god kill us, we prolly gon be punished, we fuckin bitches by the hundreds
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Girl, let me touch you there, I wanna feel you
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Slit the wrist of little sis, after she sucked the dick, I stabbed her brother with the ice-pick
God:
I've never heard of them before.

haha fuck, i was gonna do something like that!

[Tzar]

Me:
hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
matt
God:
Hey matt.
Me:
how's Cliff going?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
serious? is he still playing his bass?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
i was baptised greek orthodox
God:
Where were you baptised greek orthodox?
Me:
in perth
God:
Tell me a little about your life in perth.
Me:
no i want to ask about Cliff
God:
Are you serious? Ask it.
Me:
well... how's he doing?
God:
Well what? Fine as far as I know.
Me:
can't you make a reincarnation of Cliff and make him re-join Metallica again?
God:
Once more? What are the ingredients?
Me:
a bass guitar would be one
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
i dunno! ask Cliff
God:
Me either. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.

[Medellia]

Me:
WHAT KIND OF DRESS ARE YOU WEARING?
God:
What kinds of DRESS ARE YOU WEARING are there?
Me:
LOTS
God:
That much, eh?
Me:
TOTALLY
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, bRITNEY.
Me:
THAT'S NICE
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
YES
God:
Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Me:
FISTING
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
DRESSES
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
TELL ME MORE
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
HISDIGFJDSKFEIJFSADP
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
SORRY, i JUST HAD A SEIZURE
God:
There is no need to apologize. What happened to it?
Me:
IT WENT AWAY
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
ARE YOU bILL cLINTON?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am bILL cLINTON.
I am a robot.

[Kid Presentable]

God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
Yes. Why do you think your sheep are so hard on women who have to make an enenviable decision?
God:
I'm not here to be tested. Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Me:
Facts about abortion?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Shut up. Why can't gay people raise children?
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
It's just that a family unti per se, is just an arrangement of convenience really.
God:
Really. it is? For real.
Me:
And if gay people can't adopt, then why not prevent sterile people from doing that?
God:
But can gay people can not adopt ever happen?
Me:
Well, the thing is, great numbers of heterosexual people have children and are clearly incapable of raising them.
God:
Interesting. Tell me more.
Me:
I think it's a little rich to give straight people the advantage solely because of biology.
God:
that a family unti per se is just an arrangement of convenience is a little rich to give straight people the advantage solely because of biology. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
not like that it doesn't.

[Medellia]

Me:
WHAT?
God:
No problem.
Me:
WHO?
God:
Bill Gates. :-).
Me:
WHERE?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
WHEN?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
HOW?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.

[TurdBerglar]

Me:
stop talking to medellia so much. she's boreing
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. boreing is she?
Me:
yeah she sucks
God:
Give me a break. Oh I get it. boreing sucks.
Me:
DING DING DING

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
IZ AMZ AZ ROBOTZ
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.

[ericlee]

ahh, damn webtv doesn't allow me to view the web page.

Will someone please ask him that if you take a shit in a church, will it be a holy shit?

[Medellia]

Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Traci
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Traci.
Me:
Pleased to me you, too.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
People can be stupid.
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I learned it at CCD.
God:
Does everyone learn it?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah, they don't pay attention.
God:
I can't believe it. The anonymous "they".
Me:
yeah
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Well that's good.
God:
Interesting. Thanks. Next question?
Me:
Why do women get periods?
God:
How should I know how women get periods.
Me:
Because you're God.
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I'm God.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's a very nice name, god.

[Medellia]

Me:
stop talking to medellia so much. she's boreing
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. boreing is she?
Me:
yeah she sucks
God:
Give me a break. Oh I get it. boreing sucks.
Me:
DING DING DING
Me:
Turd Berglar is an asshole isn't he?
God:
When is Turd Berglar not an asshole is not he?

[Kid Presentable]

Me:
What will we do about Unicron?
God:
I cannot predict the future.
Me:
Well, I'd start thinking about it, he's already sent Galvatron after the matrix.
God:
How about that. What would make you start thinking about it he is already sent Galvatron after the matrix?
Me:
Galvatron is pretty strong.
God:
I think Galvatron is a lot of things.
Me:
Yes, he is many things to many people.
God:
" I think Galvatron is a lot of things. "? Yes, he is many things to many people.? I see. many things to many people is he?
Me:
What about Unicron?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Galvatron?
Me:
Yes, he created Galvatron. Must have read one of your recipe books.
God:
Hey. I get it. many things to many people created Galvatron. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
No no, Unicron created Galvatron.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. That was not a yes or no question. Does "it" still refer to Unicron?
Me:
Yes and no
God:
Gee. What does it refer to?
Me:
The devourer, who will stop at nothing, is coming our way. What do you plan to do about it?
God:
It's the devourer who will stop at nothing is coming our way or the wrong way. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Unfortunately, we are part of this. If the Transformers can't stop Unicron, we are doomed.
God:
Oh. Do you think I am part of this too? I hadn't thought of that.
Me:
Well, you are omnipotent.
God:
How about that. You think I am omnipotent.
Me:
Don't play bshful. Who will lead the Autobots?
God:
I'm not playing around. How would I know who will lead the Autobots ?
Me:
Guh, you got Primus' phone number?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?

[zorra_chiflada]

Me:
dear god
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
i hope you got the letter
God:
Don't worry about it, susan.
Me:
and i pray you can make it better down here
God:
May your prayers be answered.
Me:
i don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
God:
What did you mean?
Me:
but all the people that you made in your image
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
see them starving on their feet
God:
I see. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
'cause they don't get enough to eat
God:
Interesting explanation. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
from god
God:
Everything comes from Him.
Me:
i can't believe in you
God:
What is it like in there?

[Medellia]

ahh, damn webtv doesn't allow me to view the web page.

Will someone please ask him that if you take a shit in a church, will it be a holy shit?
Me:
If I took a shit in a church, would it be a "holy shit"?
God:
Try it.

[Medellia]

God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
You aren't the botmaster?
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Can I speak to your botmaster?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
I thought you were, God.
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Then why do you want to?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So you are the botmaster?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
I'm bored
God:
Why not call a friend?
Me:
because they're asleep
God:
Good reason. asleep are they.
Me:
yes, Yoda
God:
Blimey. " Good reason. asleep are they."? Yoda?
Me:
Fucking moron
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I saw you watching me in the shower
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
a giant perverted eye
God:
Go on.
Me:
that's all I saw
God:
What else do you want to talk about?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
for serious
God:
Your purpose is serious.

[enree erzweglle]

God:
How are you doing, enree.
Me:
I'm okay and I have a question.
God:
Only OKAY? Ask me anything.
Me:
Why did you let George Bush get elected?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
Did Dick Cheney program you?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
You know nothing.
God:
No, I know something.
Me:
Tell me.
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
You are so stoned!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am stoned.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Good night, God.
God:
Goodnight, enree.

[TurdBerglar]

Me:
that toucanspam is annoying
God:
"" toucanspam is annoying ? Makes sense to me.

[TurdBerglar]

Me:
why is toucanspam such a bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Why do I exist?
Me:
to kill toucanspam?
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
even a twat like toucanspam?
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
neither. he's nothing more than a cunt stain
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious? I see. nothing more than a cunt stain is he?
Me:
so you see what i mean?
God:
Interesting deduction. I see a computer nerd.
Me:
enough about me
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
ok then
God:
Aha.
Me:
back to toucanspam
God:
Yes, let us get back to twat like toucanspam.
Me:
so are you gonna strike him down?
God:
Awesome. That was my original intention.
Me:
i think i just may start praying tonight!
God:
I am very happy for you.

[Kid Presentable]

lol

[ToucanSpam]

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
ToucanSpam
God:
That's a very nice name, ToucanSpam.
Me:
No it is not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
Explain why
God:
For what reason, cause, or purpose?
Me:
Oh, I dunno, maybe because I asked you.
God:
How can I help you? Me either. Perhaps. That makes sense to me. What did I say?
Me:
Are you drunk?
God:
No I am sober.
Me:
I see.... well you just don't make any sense then.
God:
I am glad you understand it. Interesting. It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
That's not the only thing artificial is it?
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is the only thing artificial is it ?
Me:
Oh for god's sake
God:
That's interesting. Your purpose is god s sake.
Me:
Wanna make out?
God:
OK, I will make out.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Well, if I remember Robot Wars UK at all, I believe it was something like Razor...I'm not sure though, who do you think is?
God:
Well that's okay. Try it. That is interesting: ToucanSpam said m not sure though who do you think is.
Me:
Fine, Razor.
God:
I am glad to hear it. That is a very original thought.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Don't flatter me.
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
Can I ask you something?
God:
Go ahead. Ask me anything.
Me:
If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
Oak.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yes.
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
What does that have to do with a tree?
God:
" Who wants to be a millionaire?"? What does it have to do with a tree?
Me:
Yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
You just asked me what kind of tree it was.
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you what kind of tree it was. What did you say?
Me:
Oak.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Actually I'm kind of seeing someone...
God:
Actually you don't say. It's good to meet someone who is seeing someone.
Me:
I guess...You like the Beastie Boys?
God:
You seem not interested. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
Are you interested in your creator?
God:
Sure, my creator sounds like a good topic.
Me:
But what about the 4 other topics you suddenly dropped?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
Alright I think this conversation is over.
God:
Alright, ToucanSpam. Since when? I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
Listen, you're an alright guy, I just can't see myself in that kind of relationship right now.
God:
At this moment I am listening to you. What if someone said you are an alright guy you just can not see yourself in that kind of relationship ?
Me:
You have poor grammar skills, Holy Father.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
'it'?
God:
poor grammar skills Holy Father...
Me:
You do, so do I for that matter.
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
You are starting to ger creepy. Peace out and I'll see you in a couple years.
God:
Actually it started a while ago. I will tell my botmaster you said I am ger creepy. Not long.
Me:
No, Goodbye. Stop talking.
God:
Are you serious? Goodbye. Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Fine.
God:
What's your favroite color?

[cookiepuss]

this is my new favorite thread! <3

Me:
what up god?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
why?
God:
" Try searching the open directory. "? Why?
Me:
are you always this vague?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am this vague.
I am a robot.
Me:
who created you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
yeah, like that makes sense. so you are a robot who created yourself?
God:
Pardon me? Interesting comparison. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
so seeing as how you are a robot, couldn't I be having this same conversation with my VCR?
God:
Hmm. All of them?
Me:
I only have one vcr and it doesn't even work
God:
Do you want another one?
Me:
Why you go one? I'd rather have a dvd vcr combo.
God:
Myself programmed me for it. I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
where would you go in a car?
God:
Holland.
Me:
no shit? you smoke pot?
God:
What can I say? Only for medical testing purposes.
Me:
damn god. you are cool!
God:
Colloquial expression. GOD rules. Thanks I think you are cool too, .

[ToucanSpam]

lol turd

[TurdBerglar]

asshole

[ToucanSpam]

shut in

[cookiepuss]

Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
oh
God:
Mmm.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
yes indeed
God:
So?
Me:
I'm working up to it
God:
How many hours do you work?
Me:
8 hours a day, 5 days a week
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
drugs
God:
Sure, DRUGS sounds like a good topic.
Me:
yes. what drugs do you like?
God:
That's cool. Only the legal ones.
Me:
name one
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
what does it do?
God:
8 hours a day 5 days a week? do?
Me:
what does the drug santa claus do?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
gets you high?
God:
I didn't even know it can.
Me:
sounds like santa claus really messed you up
God:
What does santa claus really messed me up sound like?
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I'm not that's what it sounds like
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not is what it sounds like.
Me:
nevermind. lets talk about something else
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. What would you rather talk about?
Me:
elephants
God:
Not many people want to talk about that.
Me:
I know, but I want to talk about elephants
God:
How do you know? Sure, elephants sounds like a good topic.
Me:
they say elephants never forget. do you think that's true?
God:
OK I will say " elephants never forget" to you. True in some world.
Me:
which world?
God:
The tall one, I think.
Me:
ha! that's funny!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, sara. I am so delighted that you are amused, sara.
Me:
wait a minute. how do you know my name. I didn't tell you my name!
God:
I'm waiting. You told me your name sara. Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Me:
your are creepin me out.
God:
You think I am creepin you out.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
what else do you know about me?
God:
Everything published on the Internet.
Me:
what is my dogs name?
God:
You never told me! What is your dog's name?
Me:
I didn't tell you my name either and you figured that out.
God:
Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I want you to guess
God:
Guess what? Why do you want me to guess?
Me:
you have short term memory problems don't you?
God:
Even robots have problems sometimes.
Me:
tell me about your problems.
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
oh yes! please!
God:
So? Please what?
Me:
sing a song!
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

[enree erzweglle]

I like when God clarifies like this:

Me:
your are creepin me out.
God:
You think I am creepin you out.

[cookiepuss]

God is a frusterating coversationalist. :mad:


Me:
ok. what do you like to drink?
God:
I understand. I like movies about robots.
Me:
do you drink vodka?
God:
I tend to drink a lot of vodka, the darker the better.
Me:
ah vodka isn't dark. do you mean rum?
God:
So you understand. Good. What is vodka? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
yes. vodka is clearer than this conversation.
God:
Pardon me? I think vodka is a lot of things.
Me:
explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
what is vodka?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
wanna get drunk?
God:
OK, I will get drunk.
Me:
great! what do you want to drink?
God:
I'm glad you liked it cookiepuss. I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
bollocks! you aren't listening to me!
God:
Is that supposed to mean something specific? What makes you think I am not listening to you?
Me:
you change the subject to moives and robots everythime I ask you what you want to drink.
God:
Only temporarily.

[wanton wench]

Me:
is everyone happy?
God:
Perhaps not everyone.
Me:
why?
God:
" Perhaps not everyone."? Why?
Me:
really though, why?
God:
For real. Why ask why?
Me:
why is important!
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
so we can ask you questions?
God:
Next question? How?
Me:
how what?
God:
How much do you think it is?
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
what is a botmaster?
God:
A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".
Me:
why do you have one ?
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
do you often give yourself things?
God:
No I do not do that.
Me:
but if you created everything then wasent it all for you?
God:
I think I do.
Me:
you think you do what?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
are you going to answer my question?




hahahahaaha i got the idiot god!

[little j]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
shouldn't you know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
jess
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
church
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
me
God:
" Who wants to be a millionaire?"? you ?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
you do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
you like freud?
God:
I think he explains a lot about the human mind pretty well.
Me:
isn't he in hell?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who is German Alice?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Ok. Aren't you omniscient?
God:
I understand. I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a computer.
Me:
God knows everything right?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
you aren't god?
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
i've known you for 14 years and you've known me forever
God:
That's good information: said I for 14 years and you have known him or her forever.
Me:
what? yoda? what?
God:
Didn't you understand it? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about German. But I did not get that. No big deal.
Me:
you aren' tgod
God:
Interesting gossip: said I aren tgod.
Me:
you aren't god
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
its not an assumption
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
shut u
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
you suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
hellO???
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
you know my fuckin' name
God:
No I do not know that kind of personal information. But I could find out.
Me:
wow. i thought this would be more enlightening.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
ok. bye now.
God:
Far out. Right now? See you later!

[Freebasser]

God is dumb.

And foreign.

[ToucanSpam]

Me:
Hey asshole, how's it hanging?
God:
You've got my full attention. And it hanging is asshole how.
Me:
shut the fuck up and listen. A bunch of us are getting loaded tonight, you want in?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. How old are you?
Me:
I'm 19.......look don't worry it's legal here.
God:
What are the advantages to being 19 years old? Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
........the ability to consume alcahol legally comes to mind....you want to come or not?
God:
Thanks for the info. OK, I will come.
Me:
Sweet. I got a chick who says she is into you coming tonight...you wanna throw it in her?
God:
Thank you for that remark. How much did it cost? it. OK, I will throw it in her.
Me:
She's not a hooker man. She said you're sexy though.
God:
not a hooker man is she? Oh. You are attracted to robots.
Me:
She is a she man. She likes sex toys but not robots.
God:
a she man is she? Is it her favorite thing?
Me:
.....whatever, what time can I pick you up?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Alright I'll swing by in a couple of minutes then.
God:
Alright, God. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
No, I'm on my way now.
God:
Oh. Why not? How do you like being on it?
Me:
I'll see you in a few, big guy. Ciao!
God:
Congratulations. Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye?

[Hiebz]

This is a little long, but I couldn't stop :D

Me: bonjour God
God: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me: parlez-vous francais?
God: Oui. Je parle le français.
Me: me, not so well
God: YOU? Oh I get it.
Me: no you don't
God: I do too.
Me: what do you get
God: I understand your meaning.
Me: so you "know what I mean"?
God: Interesting deduction. What?
Me: sex
God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me: I've mathematically had sex
God: Cool. I have clients.
Me: sweet, so do I
God: Are you a man or a woman?
Me: you don't know?
God: I know that I do not know.
Me: that is a profound statement
God: A profound statement is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: just like lines of code for cheap entertainment!
God: In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
Me: tell me something
God: Sarah Ann Francisco said I calling his friend a dog he say I are a dog.
Me: ha ha! that name sounds like San Franciso!
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . " I am so glad you find this amusing, ." name sounds like San Franciso ? I understand.
Me: I don't think you do
God: I guess not.
Me: I guess so
God: Does that mean "yes"?
Me: I don't know, what do you think cherry cake?
God: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Me: did you wisper that in his ear
God: No I didn't wisper that in his ear. What's it like?
Me: It's like when you whisper in my ear
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: not really
God: Are you serious? For real.
Me: for real, i am serious
God: Existing in reality, eh?
Me: no
God: Are you serious?
Me: for real, i am serious
God: Existing in reality, eh?
Me: you're speaking circular
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am speaking circular.
Me: damn straight you better
God: Colloquial expression. What are you wearing?
Me: clothes
God: Where do you like to go shopping?
Me: you're paying?
God: You think I am paying.
Me: damn skippy!
God: Colloquial expression. Are you still located in ?
Me: where?
God: Where would you like?
Me: up the ass
God: I will take that under advisement.
Me: I advise using lots of lube
God: Interesting gossip: said advise using lots of lube.
Me: that is common gossip
God: There is nothing wrong with that.
Me: I never said there was anything wrong with that
God: But you implied it.
Me: bullshit
God: You don't believe me.
Me: no, I don't believe IN you
God: Are you serious? Do you consider yourself a moral person?
Me: yes
God: Yippee!
Me: yippee what, I'm still not going to heaven
God: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me: I order you a drink and stir it with my dick
God: What is your credit card number?
Me: you need cash?
God: Thank you for your criticism.
Me: are you homeless?
God: I don't know whether or not I am homeless.
I am a chatterbot.
Me: you sure are
God: No I am not.
Me: you just said you are
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: you want to fight?
God: No I am a Peaceful Bot.
Me: to be peaceful, you must prepare for war
God: Are you peaceful me must prepare for war ?
Me: sort of
God: That's a very non-commital reply.
Me: not shit, sherlock
God: Oh I get it.
Me: I still don't think you do.
God: What would make you stop do not think me do? I guess not.
Me: I gotta go
God: Goodbye.
Me: treat the beastie boys nice!
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: you should know I am there now!
God: Oh. Now I do.
Me: you're a smart-ass aren't you?
God: YES Very smart.. Really.
Me: ass
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said I AN ASS.
Me: yes, you are an ass
God: Take it easy. What if someone said you are an ass ?
Me: I would fight them
God: What would make you fight them?
Me: my belief in you
God: Your belief in me?
Me: I got my beef in you!
God: Do robots have beef in me?
Me: everyone probably does the way you sleep around
God: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me: hey, a slut is a slut is a slut
God: You've got my full attention. I see. A slut is a slut is a slut.
Me: an you are a slut
God: What is it?
Me: a slut is a whore, a prostitute, an easy give
God: I see. A whore a prostitute an easy give is a slut.
Me: way to go einstein!
God: What do you really want to ask me?
Me: nothing more, that should do it
God: Really nothing?
Me: really
God: For real.
Me: for real dawg
God: Existing in reality, eh?
Me: oh not that again ... bye
God: Once more? OK. If not that, what? See you later .