attn men who are married/in a serious relationship

[zorra_chiflada]

do you still chase skirt?
do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?
do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?

and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?

just interested.

[ToucanSpam]

why cant single men answer the questions?

[King PSYZ]

do you still chase skirt? no
do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them? no
do you and your friends talk about hot chicks? no


just interested.

[zorra_chiflada]

why cant single men answer the questions?


because it's about if you're in a marriage-like relationship, do you still think/talk about other women?

[BionicEye]

my wife finds my girlfriends for me.

[paul jones]

no
no
no

I appreciate the girlfriend I got right now,she's amazing (y)

[ms.peachy]

I just ran this past mr.peachy and he says:

1. No.

2. Not so much wish, as occasionally daydream a bit, not in any serious way but what the heck it passes the time on the bus.

3. Yes and no, not in the way they might have as younger, singler men, but if a very attractive woman were to, say, walk by their table whilst he and a mate or two were at the pub or something, they might exchange knowing looks with eachother and/or make a comment. Not an obscene or 'dirty' comment, just more of an acknowledgement of hey, she was rather alright there, wasn't she?

4. Yes. No. He's married, not blind, you know.

[Rosie Cotton]

If you were wearing a skirt, Zorra, I would chase it :)

[zorra_chiflada]

If you were wearing a skirt, Zorra, I would chase it :)

i doubt it

[Rancid_Beasties]

why cant single men answer the questions?
Yeah I'm sensing some definite discrimination here.

[zorra_chiflada]

Yeah I'm sensing some definite discrimination here.

ok then, i'll make it "if you ever have been in a serious, marriage like relationship"

[ToucanSpam]

that's better.


do you still chase skirt?


Naw, not really. I was content.

do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?

Yep. But only wishing, not actually doing anything. It's human nature.

do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?

Yes we do, we're all single males. Even when I was not single, it is still a topic that we use to avoid other bullshit we all have to deal with.


and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?


She probably assumed so, as I assumed she did the same thing.

[TurdBerglar]

pratically all guys want to fuck every hot chick out there no matter how much they're in love with someone else. sex isn't nearly as meaningful to guys as it is with chicks.

[zorra_chiflada]

pratically all guys want to fuck every hot chick out there no matter how much they're in love with someone else. sex isn't nearly as meaningful to guys as it is with chicks.


yeah, i gathered as much.
i have this theory that guys just settle for the best they think that they can do, but they are constantly wishing for something better/hotter.

[Rancid_Beasties]

Yay!!!

do you still chase skirt?
No, I don't really chase skirt normally anyway, I usually just sorta let things happen.

do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?
Well yes. I think thats a natural reaction. But its not like you see a woman and immediately think wow I wish I was fucking her right now. Probably just "wow shes hot" or something. My mind doesnt immediately skip to sex.

do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?
Yes...but I'm not as comfortable with it.

and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?
Well its pretty obvious that almost all guys do it.

[ToucanSpam]

yeah, i gathered as much.
i have this theory that guys just settle for the best they think that they can do, but they are constantly wishing for something better/hotter.
Some guys are like that. Not all guys are.

[TurdBerglar]

yeah, i gathered as much.
i have this theory that guys just settle for the best they think that they can do, but they are constantly wishing for something better/hotter.

when guys pick a chick to be his gf he usually picks the chick that has the best attractiveness to annoying ratio.

[King PSYZ]

yeah, i gathered as much.
i have this theory that guys just settle for the best they think that they can do, but they are constantly wishing for something better/hotter.
figures you'd ignore all other responses til you got to turd's in this thread.

[TurdBerglar]

i speak the truth

[ToucanSpam]

figures you'd ignore all other responses til you got to turd's in this thread.
people only want to read what they want to read and ignore everything else.

[ToucanSpam]

i speak the truth
In a way you are, but you're making a huge blanket statement.

[tracky]

Everyone's different. I think mr.peachy's answer is probably the most accurate for me

[King PSYZ]

i speak the truth
you only speak for yourself

[TurdBerglar]

no i speak for you too

[zorra_chiflada]

figures you'd ignore all other responses til you got to turd's in this thread.

sorry, but i kinda was looking for that one answer. it is refreshing to see that not all males think like that, but i was just going with my line of thought at the moment.

[mickill]

I just ran this past mr.peachy and he says:

1. No.

2. Not so much wish, as occasionally daydream a bit, not in any serious way but what the heck it passes the time on the bus.

3. Yes and no, not in the way they might have as younger, singler men, but if a very attractive woman were to, say, walk by their table whilst he and a mate or two were at the pub or something, they might exchange knowing looks with eachother and/or make a comment. Not an obscene or 'dirty' comment, just more of an acknowledgement of hey, she was rather alright there, wasn't she?

4. Yes. No. He's married, not blind, you know.

That's close to how I'd answer.

1. No. But I don't go out of my way to repel anyone.

2. No. Saying you wish you could more or less means you would if you could get away with it. I don't not notice attractive women, though.

3. I talk to my wife more about stuff like this than with my friends. She does the same with me. We have our little "crushes" on celebrities and whatnot. Sometimes I might even say to her, "Hey, that girl over there's kinda pretty, huh?" But I don't go, "Whoa, that chick has a nice ass!" Regardless, it really doesn't bother her. She feels more threatened by me having a lot in common with a girl than if I think someone else is pretty.

[King PSYZ]

sorry, but i kinda was looking for that one answer. it is refreshing to see that not all males think like that, but i was just going with my line of thought at the moment.
at least you're honest. i guess we could have a thread about how women don't listen to anything but that which they want to hear huh?
;)

[King PSYZ]

She feels more threatened by me having a lot in common with a girl than if I think someone else is pretty.
Fuck, that statement rings true for any and every issue that has EVER come up between me and my girlfriend.

[ToucanSpam]

3. I talk to my wife more about stuff like this than with my friends. She does the same with me. We have our little "crushes" on celebrities and whatnot. Sometimes I might even say to her, "Hey, that girl over there's kinda pretty, huh?" But I don't go, "Whoa, that chick has a nice ass!" Regardless, it really doesn't bother her. She feels more threatened by me having a lot in common with a girl than if I think someone else is pretty.
My parents do that, the crushes thing. I think it's alright for spouses to do stuff like that, not like one day they are going to get up and say 'I'm dumping you for him.' or something.

[zorra_chiflada]

at least you're honest. i guess we could have a thread about how women don't listen to anything but that which they want to hear huh?
;)

yeah, i admit i'm like that all the time. :o
but it's also hard to know what to believe, y'know. half of people will say "oh all males are the same," and the other half will say "no, not all men are like that"

[King PSYZ]

the sheep usually say "all men are the same" to wash their hands of being ignorant.
why have personal responsibility if you can blame it on a chromosome?

[tracky]

Do you think all girls are the same?

[zorra_chiflada]

Do you think all girls are the same?

i really don't know. that's hard to answer. i think in a really broad, general sense, all girls are kinda interested in having the same qualities in life. maybe.

[TurdBerglar]

people think us humans are complicated beings. we're not really. we're all drivin by the same animilistic instincts. it's when people force themselves to think differently is when all the deviations come to form.

[paul jones]

people think us humans are complicated beings. we're not really. we're all drivin by the same animilistic instincts. it's when people force themselves to think differently is when all the deviations come to form.

yeah!

we invented the Rubik cube!

[HEIRESS]

I only have a wandering eye for great male hair

I never say "OMG HES CUTE" or "HOT DAMN GIMME SUMMA DAT" like my friends
but Im all over the "anddddd best hair ever!" type comments

[zorra_chiflada]

the sheep usually say "all men are the same" to wash their hands of being ignorant.
why have personal responsibility if you can blame it on a chromosome?


that's a good way of putting it

there seems to be a lot of blaming behaviour on gender and maybe because of that, some people feel pressured to act upon that stereotype

[cj hood]

do you still chase skirt?
do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?
do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?

and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?

just interested.


yo......trim your 'net time to 12 hours per day and you won't have these problems!

[Tzar]

yo......trim your 'net time to 12 hours per day and you won't have these problems!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooh! :eek:

[Documad]

I know I don't get to answer, but almost half my friends are married men. They talk about hot women all the time (more famous ones than ones we know, but sometimes ones we know too). Sometimes they look slightly embarrassed doing it, but they do it.

The married men I work with who are my friends report that the discussions are even more common and more crude when I'm not present. :rolleyes:

[DandyFop]

There's also guys who are just so happy that a girl likes them that they don't give a shit about any other girls.

(welcome to my exes - NOT YOU MOA!)

[Kid Presentable]

I wasn't going to reply, but I am now. And this is me replying.

I love my girl, I wouldn't have asked her to marry me otherwise. I hope we can be together for our whole lives. But I still notice other women. I don't chase them, but I can appreciate a fine lady now and then.

I don't see anbody in my day to day life who I'd fantasise about fucking, but we each have a list. It's fair to say I want to kick Matt Damon's ass, but Mrs Presentable would probably scratch Claire Forliani's eyes out, given the chance.

Depending on the company, I can talk about 'hot chicks' to an extent. but that's just because nobody I work with will talk about hip hop, transformers or video games. We even make some pretty base remarks, but it's not like females are innocent in this respect.

Missus knows all of these things and couldn't give a fuck.

[Documad]

I think that's all normal. I have two married female friends who fantasize about Colin Firth. :p And one of them keeps talking about how one of our coworkers is hung like a horse. :rolleyes:

[The Notorious LOL]

its kind of the male nature to acknowledge the presence of other attractive women and to say the thought doesnt cross your mind is ridiculous. There has been times where Ive messed around with girls with boyfriends and realized how easy it was to get with them and it made me exceedingly paranoid about relationships and sort of looked at it from the perspective of what goes around comes around, so I can look but I wouldnt act.

[scotty]

No.
I can appreciate a nice set of tits (and they always lose out to my wife), but I don't want to fuck anyone but ms. scotty.
No, me and my wife talk about them and hot fellas too.
She points hot chicks out for me and I'll do the same with the fellas for her.

[Ace42X]

do you still chase skirt?

Heh, I don't chase skirt when I'm single.

do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?

Hell yeah, there are a load of HOT HOT HOT chicks out there that only a very small small small minority of guys will get to tap.

do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?

Yes and no. Not complete stranges generally, and not in depth, but yeah.

and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?

A lot of my exs have had security issues, so they would've blown a gasket, even if they knew it was purely physical infatuation or I'd not do anything about it. Even if they were the sort that would SAY "Oh, I understand that guys want to bone as many chicks as humanly possible in a lifetime..."

They'd still sulk about it and put me in the dog-house.

[enree erzweglle]

There's a TV commercial like this: a guy is sitting at the table with (presumably) his girlfriend. Both are attractive and they look to me to be 28-35 years old. An attractive woman walks by. The guy at the table notices this and looks the attractive woman up and down. The girlfriend sees this and slaps him across the face.

Whenever I see things like that in real life, I think that that guy should run for his life, run hard away from the girlfriend unless he wants to spend that kind of time someone who is that insecure.

Not that I've ever seen a woman slap a man like that; I've seen them do worse and it's pretty immature--gives you a bit of insight into what the rest of the relationship is like.

[ToucanSpam]

I think it's a bit rude to check out other women/men when you're hanging out with your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/liason. It's almost like saying "Hey, I'm with you but I'm going to scope out the scenery anyways, and there's not much you can do about it." Kind of an insult. Keep your eyes in their sockets, planted firmly on who you are with, and you can do no wrong.

[DandyFop]

I think that's all normal. I have two married female friends who fantasize about Colin Firth. :p And one of them keeps talking about how one of our coworkers is hung like a horse. :rolleyes:

This sounds like me and my friends, whether we are in relationships or not.

[Hiebz]

I think it's a bit rude to check out other women/men when you're hanging out with your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/liason. It's almost like saying "Hey, I'm with you but I'm going to scope out the scenery anyways, and there's not much you can do about it." Kind of an insult. Keep your eyes in their sockets, planted firmly on who you are with, and you can do no wrong.

ideally, I would agree with you on this point, but realistically that doesn't happen (for me). I am aware that I look at other women, and sometimes have even caught myself doing it and stopped myself because I know my wife wouldn't like it. It is pretty tough though, because I spent many, many years before meeting her watching and fanticising about other women - and that stuff don't just stop over night even when you've met someone so incredibly awesome like I have. I certainly don't chase women, but do take notice of beauties around - I don't seek them out though either. but that's me.

[beastieangel01]

I know I am not a guy but I thought I would chime in.

In my experience being friends with a lot of guys, it tends to vary. Some guy friends I have talk SO MUCH about other girls they think are hot constantly, and they have girlfriends. One I know says how much he wants to fuck certain girls and he has a girlfriend. But those examples I mentioned never act on it. Others will maybe mention some famous female that they think are good looking, but that's about it. Others never say anything about girls other than their actual girlfriend.

I think it's within human nature to at least look. I admit, I have looked at other good looking guys because I just notice it sometimes. I know my boyfriend notices attractive women too. We are just kinda like "oh, yeah they are nice looking" and that's all it is.

I have a problem with it starting to become fantasies though, to a point. Sexual fantasies are one thing, but it's when someone starts having a fantasy about a person not only because of how they look but also the person they are, and think about having sex with them, etc and they are friends with the person too... that's an emotional thing that is just crossing the line. I've known that to happen and it always turns out that they needed to re-evaluate their current relationship and figure out what the fuck they wanted, etc.

[ericlee]

I'm not a skirt chaser at all. If a chic is hot and I see her, of course I'm gonna have a look and I may just imagine her naked and may imagine fucking her at the same time. Think about it. What does the word sexy mean? It means her looking is good enough for you to ride your boat into her tuna town.

Of course if my wife happens to see me gawking I'll get a laugh from her because she knows it's only natural and she is secure with me knowing I'd never cheat on her too.

[ma belle]

you may not be able to help what's going on inside but you sure can help what choices you manifest on the outside. know the difference and you can't go wrong

[ToucanSpam]

I have a problem with it starting to become fantasies though, to a point. Sexual fantasies are one thing, but it's when someone starts having a fantasy about a person not only because of how they look but also the person they are, and think about having sex with them, etc and they are friends with the person too... that's an emotional thing that is just crossing the line. I've known that to happen and it always turns out that they needed to re-evaluate their current relationship and figure out what the fuck they wanted, etc.

That's a good point. I thought it deserved a quoting. :p

[zorra_chiflada]

yo......trim your 'net time to 12 hours per day and you won't have these problems!

who said this was my problem? :confused:

thanks for your answers everyone, btw :)

[zippo]

people think us humans are complicated beings. we're not really. we're all drivin by the same animilistic instincts. it's when people force themselves to think differently is when all the deviations come to form.

what are you giving a speech to your fellow comrades in Animal Farm

[QueenAdrock]

its kind of the male nature to acknowledge the presence of other attractive women and to say the thought doesnt cross your mind is ridiculous.

Exactly. When boys were 13 years old, they thought about sex 24 hours a freakin' day. They had boners a good 75% of the day. It's not that they wanted it to be that way, it's how their brains are wired.

However, men can also control themselves. They can THINK some things, it's once they seriously consider it, or do it, that it is a faux pas. I'd find it ridiculous for Wayne not to think other women were attractive/want to have sex with them. Just like before we were dating, he looked at girls and thought "Yeah, I'd hit that." That part of your brain doesn't just shut down when you start dating. It just doesn't matter anymore, and becomes a non-issue because you're happy. It's still there, though.

So, in other words, it's perfectly fine and healthy for men to think women are pretty/think they'd have sex with them if the opportunity was available. However, being in a happy relationship usually mean there is no opportunity, so the thought leaves just as quickly as it comes. I think it's healthy for men to be allowed to think other girls are pretty, or that they think they're bonable. If girls get jealous and force their men to never think or say these things, they'd feel tied down, smothered, and anxious, which leads to breaking up. Leave them breathing room and trust them. If they truly love you, it won't even be an issue past what they think.

[zippo]

An attractive woman walks by. The guy at the table notices this and looks the attractive woman up and down. The girlfriend sees this and slaps him across the face...

Whenever I see things like that in real life, I think that that guy should run for his life unless he wants to spend that kind of time someone who is that insecure.

what?! one thing is subtlely noticing a hot girl, but if he looks her up and down and not only is he ok with that but she (the gfriend) is also, then...uh...dam. its a free country, i give that to you, but respect should come first in a relationship. its a simple act of consideration, a cousin of the "its the thought that counts" sort of situation. like when you get a card for someones birthday, or when you turn off the AC in the car cuz someone who just got in has a cold, or when you leave the last shrimp for your friend cuz you know its their favorite...

a tiny amount of effort that wont do you any wrong while doing them very well, you know what i mean

[Rancid_Beasties]

^Shrimps are small prawns (n)

My prawns have gotta be decent sized ones, if theres only shrimp left I would give it to whoever wanted it.

[Medellia]

A lot of my exs have had security issues, so they would've blown a gasket, even if they knew it was purely physical infatuation or I'd not do anything about it. Even if they were the sort that would SAY "Oh, I understand that guys want to bone as many chicks as humanly possible in a lifetime..."

They'd still sulk about it and put me in the dog-house.
Wow, that's pretty insecure.

[Paul Decktition]

;)

[beastieangel01]

That's a good point. I thought it deserved a quoting. :p

yeah. it sucks when that happens. I don't know if it ever happened to me (not to my knowledge) but I've had guy friends that start talking about friends of theirs like, right to that point and I had to verbally slap them around and tell them to figure out what the hell they want and not to drag the current gf around if they are head over heels for some other girl.

It goes for girls too I am sure.

[BangkokB]

N0pe,
Once I got married I never chased skirt or even thought about it...But that does sound like a marvelous idea now that you bring it up.

I am holding back on this one

I believe Men generally want what they think they can't have; and there begins the pursuit

In sales speak, I'm talking about the Take Away

[BEAR!]

do you still chase skirt?
do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?
do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?

and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?

just interested.

I do my best to resist the urge, but I do tend to flirt every now and again I suppose.

No. Regardless of my status. I don't like to derogate from a woman's intelligence simply so I can satisfy my own perverted interests. I may hope to engage in a little harmless chit chat with them, but nothing inappropriate.

From time to time. My partner is comfortable with it, only to a certain degree.

[bigblu89]

do you still chase skirt?
do you look at other women and wish you were fucking them?
do you and your friends talk about hot chicks?

and if so, does your partner know about it/does she mind?

just interested.

No.

Not really. I mean, I would give my opinion if someone pointed out a chick and asked if I would fuck them if I were single and had the chance, but I usually look at a "hot chick" and think "Wow, she's hot" and not "Wow, I'd like to fuck her."

Yes.

Yes, and she doesn't mind.

My, and from what my wife has said, her belief is that spotting beauty cannot be avoided, so If she catches me looking at a good looking woman, she doesn't get mad. Same with me if she is looking at a guy.

Things may get sketchy if it ever got past just looking, but it hasn't cometo that as of yet.

[adam_f]

I only chase skirt if it's on sale and, like, they only got one left in my size.

[zorra_chiflada]

There's a TV commercial like this: a guy is sitting at the table with (presumably) his girlfriend. Both are attractive and they look to me to be 28-35 years old. An attractive woman walks by. The guy at the table notices this and looks the attractive woman up and down. The girlfriend sees this and slaps him across the face.

Whenever I see things like that in real life, I think that that guy should run for his life, run hard away from the girlfriend unless he wants to spend that kind of time someone who is that insecure.

Not that I've ever seen a woman slap a man like that; I've seen them do worse and it's pretty immature--gives you a bit of insight into what the rest of the relationship is like.


that's an interesting point of view - a guy should leave his girlfriend becuase she gets upset when he looks at other girls? i think it should be the other way around.
have you considered that not all women are as secure in their appearance as some others? and having a partner that is constantly reminding you how he wishes you would look would cause some serious problems. i think that's the biggest insult.

[zorra_chiflada]

If girls get jealous and force their men to never think or say these things, they'd feel tied down, smothered, and anxious, which leads to breaking up. Leave them breathing room and trust them. If they truly love you, it won't even be an issue past what they think.

yeah, but if girls don't tell their men what they think is acceptable and what isn't, men are just going to keep pushing it. no matter how strong the love is, i can't imagine how awful it would feel to have your man continually looking at other girls, reminding you that you're not that attractive, you're just the best he could do.

[ToucanSpam]

that's an interesting point of view - a guy should leave his girlfriend becuase she gets upset when he looks at other girls? i think it should be the other way around.
have you considered that not all women are as secure in their appearance as some others? and having a partner that is constantly reminding you how he wishes you would look would cause some serious problems. i think that's the biggest insult.
I'm sorry but I have to step in right here. I think what Enree is saying is if a man is getting slapped hard for looking at other human beings, then there's some troubles in the relationship other than the guy doing what normal humans do.

Yes Zorra, we all get the point that you are riddled with insecurities, god knows why, but you need to chill out and not jump down someone's gullet like that.

[Ace42X]

i can't imagine how awful it would feel to have your man continually looking at other girls, reminding you that you're not that attractive, you're just the best he could do.

Typical women, all "me me me me me" - how do you think it is for the GUY to be reminded that *you're* not that attractive, just the best he could do?

[zorra_chiflada]

I'm sorry but I have to step in right here. I think what Enree is saying is if a man is getting slapped hard for looking at other human beings, then there's some troubles in the relationship other than the guy doing what normal humans do.

Yes Zorra, we all get the point that you are riddled with insecurities, god knows why, but you need to chill out and not jump down someone's gullet like that.


what's normal?
should a woman accept whatever a man does just because he blames it on "human nature"?
i'm not jumping down her throat by the way, i'm sure she will be able to refute what i say. (probably blaming my insecurities for my point of view, like other people seem to be doing)

[kll]

I haven't read this entire thread, so this may have been said before, but blaming "human nature" on your behavior is bullshit. There's a time and a place for admiring someone you find attractive and there's being disrespectful to your mate if you do it in front of them. If "everyone does it" is true, then you have to do it when it doesn't affect the person you are involved with...

[zorra_chiflada]

Typical women, all "me me me me me" - how do you think it is for the GUY to be reminded that *you're* not that attractive, just the best he could do?

what do you mean? what should a woman expect in a relationship?

[ToucanSpam]

what's normal?
should a woman accept whatever a man does just because he blames it on "human nature"?
i'm not jumping down her throat by the way, i'm sure she will be able to refute what i say. (probably blaming my insecurities for my point of view, like other people seem to be doing)

Not necesarily. 'Whatever' seems like a pretty broad range of things a person does. I don't think anyone said 'Whatever a man does, it's because it is his nature.' It is human nature for a male to look at another female and stare with a slight amount of interest. It is built into our genetic codes to reproduce! I think that it is wrong for a guy to literally drool over another woman while in with your significant other. But is it right to slap a man because he looks at other human beings? How do you know that your significant other doesn't look at other males and do the same thing?


A question for you Zorra, if a man masturbates to pornography, while in a relationship, is it cheating?

[zorra_chiflada]

A question for you Zorra, if a man masturbates to pornography, while in a relationship, is it cheating?

the question is, why does he do it in the first place?
how can that be justified as "basic human need" and that no girlfriend should dare stop them?

[Ace42X]

what do you mean?

I mean that it is one thing for a woman to be reminded that guys would like to do better, it is quite another for a guy to be reminded that he can't.

[ToucanSpam]

the question is, why does he do it in the first place?
how can that be justified as "basic human need" and that no girlfriend should dare stop them?

You didn't really answer the question I asked initially. Once you do that, I will answer yours.

[zorra_chiflada]

You didn't really answer the question I asked initially. Once you do that, I will answer yours.

no, it's not cheating. and it won't necessarily lead to cheating. it's still a slap in the face.

[TurdBerglar]

no, it's not cheating. and it won't necessarily lead to cheating. it's still a slap in the face.

how many time do you think you have been slapped in the face?

[CrankItUp!]

the question is, why does he do it in the first place?
how can that be justified as "basic human need" and that no girlfriend should dare stop them?
Because it gets a really annoying when she says " Hurry the fuck up already !" when its only been 3 hours - what else is a guy suppose to do if she won't let him finish without being hurried ?

[Medellia]

what's normal?
should a woman accept whatever a man does just because he blames it on "human nature"?
i'm not jumping down her throat by the way, i'm sure she will be able to refute what i say. (probably blaming my insecurities for my point of view, like other people seem to be doing)
That may be true, but it doesn't make it right for the woman to hit the man. Or vice versa.

[ToucanSpam]

the question is, why does he do it in the first place?
how can that be justified as "basic human need" and that no girlfriend should dare stop them?

Perhaps he does it because his girlfriend isn't interested in sexual relations. Perhaps he is sexually frustrated. Any number of reasons, none of them because he wishes to direspect his girlfriend.

A person's going to masturbate, whether anyone is going to like it or not. If a girl is so inscure as to say 'i don't want you looking at any other woman or masturbating', then the guy is going to need to cut his eyes out, or blind himself whatever.

If a girl asked that of me, I would reply by saying 'stop looking at other guuys and masturbating too'. Either way it's ridiculous.

[CrankItUp!]

Any normal guy with a pc is gonna glance at some nookie sites every now and then - or either he's gay. And you sure as hell don't wan't to find out that he prefers dicky sites instead.

[zorra_chiflada]

Perhaps he does it because his girlfriend isn't interested in sexual relations. Perhaps he is sexually frustrated. Any number of reasons, none of them because he wishes to direspect his girlfriend.

A person's going to masturbate, whether anyone is going to like it or not. If a girl is so inscure as to say 'i don't want you looking at any other woman or masturbating', then the guy is going to need to cut his eyes out, or blind himself whatever.

If a girl asked that of me, I would reply by saying 'stop looking at other guuys and masturbating too'. Either way it's ridiculous.


i seem to get the feeling from you, if a woman is concerned about what her man is doing in regards to other women, that it's her fault for being so damn insecure, and she should just get over it because the man is just a slave to his instincts. maybe she's insecure because her boyfriend is not giving her any reason to feel confident?

[ToucanSpam]

i seem to get the feeling from you, if a woman is concerned about what her man is doing in regards to other women, that it's her fault for being so damn insecure, and she should just get over it because the man is just a slave to his instincts. maybe she's insecure because her boyfriend is not giving her any reason to feel confident?
No, that would be jumping to conclusions.

If her boyfriend isn't giving her reasons to be confident, than well, there's troubles in the relationship, a mutual problem.

Right now you are on the warpath looking for a reason to be mad at men and make every man look like a sleazebag. If you feel this way, go date a chick. Stop trying to accuse every man of being a sleazebag, they aren't. You obviously haven't met very many nice men in your life, a damn shame.

[kll]

maybe she's insecure because her boyfriend is not giving her any reason to feel confident?

any girl who has an amazing supportive boyfriend who doesn't do things to feed her insecurities is not going to be as psycho as a girl whose boyfriend does... all girls have some sort of insecurites, but if the boyfriend feeds the fire, then it becomes his problem as well...

[zorra_chiflada]

No, that would be jumping to conclusions.

If her boyfriend isn't giving her reasons to be confident, than well, there's troubles in the relationship, a mutual problem.

Right now you are on the warpath looking for a reason to be mad at men and make every man look like a sleazebag. If you feel this way, go date a chick. Stop trying to accuse every man of being a sleazebag, they aren't. You obviously haven't met very many nice men in your life, a damn shame.


where was i accusing every man of being a sleazebag?
i was reacting to the responses i've read in this thread how it's the woman's fault and she should try to stop a man from looking at other women, and defending my opinion. some of the opinions i've read here are refreshing, some are puzzling
you're saying that my opinion is not worthy because i'm some kind of angry man-hater, which i'm not. i'm not making personal attacks at you in place of an actual argument. i wish you'd do the same for me.

[ToucanSpam]

where was i accusing every man of being a sleazebag?
i was reacting to the responses i've read in this thread how it's the woman's fault and she should try to stop a man from looking at other women, and defending my opinion. some of the opinions i've read here are refreshing, some are puzzling
you're saying that my opinion is not worthy because i'm some kind of angry man-hater, which i'm not. i'm not making personal attacks at you in place of an actual argument. i wish you'd do the same for me.
I'm sorry.


The way I'm interpreting what you are saying, it makes you sound like an angry man-hating-Alanis-Morisette-loving-man-hater. I shouldn't jump to conclusions either.

Perhaps the 'human nature' thing is a bit of bullshit. I must point out that the things kll has said in this page have really got me thinking about the other side of the fence, meaning how girls see things.

[zorra_chiflada]

I'm sorry.


The way I'm interpreting what you are saying, it makes you sound like an angry man-hating-Alanis-Morisette-loving-man-hater. I shouldn't jump to conclusions either.



it's ok. it's not the first time i've been called something to that effect on here. sometimes i wish that i was sexy and confident and care-free, but i'm uptight, angry and cynical.

[ToucanSpam]

it's ok. it's not the first time i've been called something to that effect on here. sometimes i wish that i was sexy and confident and care-free, but i'm uptight, angry and cynical.
I don't see why, every women is sexy in some way, and I'm not just saying that, I honestly believe it. People just have to cool out sometimes and just believe that everything is alright and all.

I mean, Hagatha (kll) has the sexiest dentures. ;) rwaaaaaaaaaar

[Knuckles]

i'm uptight, angry and cynical.
That's why we love you!

[zorra_chiflada]

That's why we love you!

haha

[Auton]

no, no, and no

i find it extremely hard to even be attracted to anybody else when I'm in love / in a relationship with someone. i'm not saying that to sound like a gentleman, or whatever... i think its a mental disorder or something. other girls wont hold any sort of appeal to me until i have some sort of hideous break-up and even then it takes me awhile to "chase skirt"

and i hate "hey you know this girl _____? she's so hot blah blah" kind of conversations.

[beastieangel01]

If a girl asked that of me, I would reply by saying 'stop looking at other guuys and masturbating too'. Either way it's ridiculous.

hmm. I would have to say when masturbating I did it because the boyfriend could not be around, and not once did I look at someone else and think about that person while trying to get off. I always think of my boyfriend. Once in a while there is porn just to get me thinking about things more, but it always boils down to the bf himself.

But maybe that is just me.

[CrankItUp!]

(lb) Do you use fingers or a rubber dong when you get yourself off ?

[ToucanSpam]

hmm. I would have to say when masturbating I did it because the boyfriend could not be around, and not once did I look at someone else and think about that person while trying to get off. I always think of my boyfriend. Once in a while there is porn just to get me thinking about things more, but it always boils down to the bf himself.

But maybe that is just me.
I can't personally comment on that method, but let's just say that masturbating while thinking about your significant other works. It can be tough when you're gf/bf ain't around to do the job for you.

[ms.peachy]

Having now been in Japan for over two weeks, I feel I can confidently say that mr.peachy is not aware of there being any attractive women here, much less thought even remotely about touching any of their goodies. And I am quite certain that when we return to the UK shortly, if asked by any of his mates about the subject, he will probably say "Oh, were there women there? I hadn't noticed."



;)

[Kid Presentable]

Having now been in Japan for over two weeks, I feel I can confidently say that mr.peachy is not aware of there being any attractive women here, much less thought even remotely about touching any of their goodies. And I am quite certain that when we return to the UK shortly, if asked by any of his mates about the subject, he will probably say "Oh, were there women there? I hadn't noticed."



;)

That's nice. But I don't buy it.

[QueenAdrock]

yeah, but if girls don't tell their men what they think is acceptable and what isn't, men are just going to keep pushing it. no matter how strong the love is, i can't imagine how awful it would feel to have your man continually looking at other girls, reminding you that you're not that attractive, you're just the best he could do.


Well, If he's continually looking at other girls, I can't imagine how "in love" he'd be with the person in the first place. Especially if he figures you're just "the best he can do." I'm talking about true love, where you can't imagine life without the other person, and you're so incredibly happy together. I don't see men like that "continually" looking at other girls, just the occasional "Wow, she's hot." and leaving it at that.

Women should realize men's intentions. If he's truly in love, I don't think he'd CONSTANTLY be looking at girls, or ever make you feel second-class. I'm saying it's natural for men to have straying thoughts, or to look. It's not natural for men to constantly think about other chicks, or want to bang them all the time. That's not love. You shouldn't even have to make "boundaries" in that case, because men shouldn't be doing that shit in the first place if he truly cared about you.

[jennyb]

I just wanna thank Zorra for this thread. That's all. (y)

[beastieangel01]

(lb) Do you use fingers or a rubber dong when you get yourself off ?

frozen banana!

[QueenAdrock]

Good thing I didn't eat those bananas when I was at your house last year. Not only would it have been pretty gross for me, but you'd be pissed and forced to use, like, the handle of an ice cream scooper or something else you'd find in the kitchen :(

[enree erzweglle]

that's an interesting point of view - a guy should leave his girlfriend becuase she gets upset when he looks at other girls? i think it should be the other way around.
have you considered that not all women are as secure in their appearance as some others? and having a partner that is constantly reminding you how he wishes you would look would cause some serious problems. i think that's the biggest insult.
zorra, I understand that some women aren't secure and that they have problems with it and cause problems for their mates and the people around them.

But it should never be cause for anyone to hit anyone else, to abuse anyone else.

Plus, I don't think that a guy is necessarily "reminding you how he wishes you would look" when he looks at another woman. (If you felt that way, I could definitely see that it would be very difficult to stomach it when he does look.)

edit: just removed some stuff that I said in the next post

[enree erzweglle]

no, it's not cheating. and it won't necessarily lead to cheating. it's still a slap in the face.
I couldn't be in a relationship with unilateral/nonconsensual rules.

If I'm with a guy, I don't care if he masturbates. And my best relationships have been with guys who are secure enough to know that I do that and that it's a good thing. Probably the trick is that that wouldn't be the only sexual thing that either of us did. We'd be active with each other as well.

To me, it's about trust and experience with your partner, being secure with yourself and with him/her and the state of things between you. You have to work that out and it takes time. You learn that one person can't be all things to another one person and you recognize what your boundaries are in intimate relationships. Those boundaries vary from couple to couple.

The sooner that you, as a jealous person, realize that not everything is a reflection of your self worth is when you're stepping ahead of that problem, and when you start to take control of it instead of trying to control your partner's reactions to life around him/her. There's a big difference between the two; one is much more healthy and productive than the other. You also have to know your partner and your relationship well enough to know when something turns or is turning from casual to something that indicates more of a problem.

By the way, the key in my first post was the phrase that went something like, "...unless he wants to spend that kind of time with someone who is that insecure." Something like that. It's about consensual choice and the boundaries that you set/agree to in your relationship.

[Ace42X]

the things kll has said in this page have really got me thinking about the other side of the fence, meaning how girls see things.

That way madness lies, my friend.

Women are the most fickle and contradictory of creatures. Men have spent life-times trying to work out some sort of consensus from "what they say". All have failed.

Simple guidelines to follow are:

1. 'Yes and no are not to be taken literally.'

For example, a classic is "Is everything ok?" - the answer "yes" usually means anything but.

or "Have I done something wrong?" - the answer 'no' usually means "Yes, and you are going to have to crawl on your belly through the cut glass of the following conversation in order to get to what you REALLY did to annoy me, which might be totally unfair to you anyway, and could quite possibly be because I am about to go on the rag, but that doesn't matter to me because I am going to hold EVERYTHING against you for not being able to work out that when I say "no" *IT DOESN'T COUNT AS A TOTAL LIE - FOR NO APPARENT REASON*"

2. "Do I look good in this?" means 'I am looking for a fight'

This is a real "judgement of Paris" type question. No answer will be adequet, as even if you lie and tell her she looks great when she looks ridiculous, when she inevitably finds people giggling at her in the street, or one of her friends makes a female-female comment (IE bitchiness that is accepted because it is in fem-code) it will STILL COME BACK TO YOU for "letting her go out looking like that."

3. "I like a guy with a good sense of humour" means 'I don't want men to know that I am every bit as shallow as they are, and thus put the feminazi move back another twenty years'

Most women put this high on their list of qualities they look for in a mate.

Tom "plank of wood" Cruise or Ken Dodd - who do you think gets the most pussy?

4. "I love you" - this is the biggest crock of shit going.

How many relationships has this little blighter raised his head in? All of them I'd wager.

How many of those relationships go the distance, or are ended *solely* because you don't feel the same way? Not as many I'd wager.

There's a lot of "I love you"s tripping off people's tongues that don't actually do the significance of the words justice. I find that "I'm in love with the idea of loving you" is a much more literal definition for this one.

Nearly all chicks whine and cry and blub when you break up, and within the space of a few months have forgotten all about you and are currently "so totally in love" with some guy that lives down the street. Take my word for this one, the tears are because they weren't the ones to do the dumping, not because *you* were the one to do the dumping.

5. "I don't expect you to be a mind-reader" means 'You shouldn't have to be able to read my mind, that would be unreasonable. You SHOULD however be aware of all my personal little codes, quirks, and peculiarities. And every time you don't get the subtext (which is often totally opposite to what I am actually saying) of what I am uttering, I will hold it against you.'

This one is the basis of the most male-female problems. Women expect men to know them like "their girlfriends do."

Unless the guy is bent as a hat-pin, he sure as hell shouldn't know the first thing about the bizarre social phenomenon that are exclusive to women. About "what to wear" or "what women don't talk about" etc. If you want your boyfriend to be your girlfriend, *go gay*. Save us all a lot of time. Maybe then you'll figure out you are dating *guys* for a reason.

Guys don't get all touchy feely with their male friends, so you gals ALREADY get more access than other men do. Why not try to meet us half-way, eh?

[enree erzweglle]

Ace42X, it's a stereotype. I know some women who act in the way that you describe. Most of them are young and seem inexperienced; the older women who act like that never seemed to grow up and maybe have base insecurities that someone is feeding or that they don't take charge of.

I also know a lot of women who have moved beyond that type of thinking and who are strong (without being overbearing) and secure (without being egotistical).

The equivalent male stereotype is the beer-swilling, sex-craved, only-sees-footballs-and-breasts type of guy. They're out there, sure--there appears to be a very large contingency of them working on the construction site next to where I work.

You can find their opposite too. I know lots of guys who break that stereotype to pieces.

I was reading some women's magazine last month and in it was an article written for men; it was something like "Men: Your Guide to Women." Something like that. It basically said the same things that you said above and I laughed when I read it. How ironic that it was printed in a women's magazine--the same type of magazine that publishes supposedly empowering articles for women.

The things those magazines print--bet they're largely responsible for the angst and self-doubt that most 18-30 year old women feel.

[Ace42X]

I also know a lot of women who have moved beyond that type of thinking and who are strong (without being overbearing) and secure (without being egotistical).

See, EVEN MORE INCONGRUITY. How are we supposed to figure you all out <sobs>

[ms.peachy]

That's nice. But I don't buy it.
No really, I just asked him. I said, "Sweetie, have you noticed any pretty girls here in Japan?" And he said "No, absolutely not, none at all." I mean, he wouldn't lie to me about something like that. Our relationship is based on total honesty at all times.

And seriously, there aren't many attractive women here at all, so I've no reason to doubt him. It's not like nearly every female here is knockout gorgeous, or anything.

[QueenAdrock]

Ace42X, it's a stereotype. I know some women who act in the way that you describe. Most of them are young and seem inexperienced; the older women who act like that never seemed to grow up and maybe have base insecurities that someone is feeding or that they don't take charge of.


Totally agree. Especially with the sense of humor part that Ace said. It actually makes me mad too, to see these gorgeous girls say "Um, I want a guy who can make me laugh!" and I just wanna scream BULL-SHIT. Chris Farley can make you laugh, would you date him?

Everyone's got a list of things they want in a guy. A lot of women have "large bank account" and "looks like Brad Pitt" on theirs. However, a lot of other women go for other things first. I know for one I couldn't date a hot guy who had no sense of humor. Sense of humor equals respect for me, and goes first and foremost, no matter what. That's not to say I'm gonna date a hilarious ugly guy, I do have standards. But if I see a sort-of cute guy with a great sense of humor, and a hot guy who can't make me laugh, well. Sort-of cute guy wins haaaaaaaaaands down.

[hpdrifter]

Can girls answer this too?

1. No, I don't chase, uh, pants I guess. But I notice hot guys.

2. I don't wish i was fucking anyone else. When I fall in love I find the person I'm with the most attractive person in the world. Its wierd how that happens. The guy I'm dating now was someone I knew for like 4 years, we were friends and I always thought he was kind of skinny and nerdy and never looked at him twice. Now when I look at him I think he's super cute despite his prominent adam's apple.

3. Yes. We still talk about hot guys. I don't know if he knows about it, I don't think he would care. I don't know if he does. I think it would bother me if he was super in my face about it, but he's not so I don't ask.

[beastieangel01]

Good thing I didn't eat those bananas when I was at your house last year. Not only would it have been pretty gross for me, but you'd be pissed and forced to use, like, the handle of an ice cream scooper or something else you'd find in the kitchen :(

hahaha oh god.