Do all women love emotional drama?

[Qdrop]

NOTICE** : this thread is for women and/or men who are in or have had long-term relationships, and thus have extensive experiance.

if you are teenage dude virgin, with little-to-no relationship experiance....move along. you know who you are!
-----------------

Is it in thier biological make-up to be histrionic, moody, emotional rollercoasters?
Does having a an emotional episode with yelling and fighting and anger, followed by apologies and tears...make them feel more loved? Like they need emotional extremes to feel like they are alive...

why do women's moods switch on a dime?

i'd like to say these things can extend to men just as well....but they can't. i have never met a guy who, on a on-going basis, can compete with the emotional rollercoaster that women love to ride....or seem to love to ride.

that's the question, to you women: is it intentional, is it enjoyable? or is simply a natural, emotional state (a state of constant flux) which you can't control?
is it simply what you are, and men just need to "grow up" and deal with it?
what about when it hinders the relationships in your life? do you feel bad....or does that further fuel your love for drama (a feedback loop)?

it's the age-old mystery....
please, ladies...shed some light...
explain how your mind/emotions work.

[Kid Presentable]

It's like people who need Pay T.V to laugh, cry, feel alive. They just need to be in a relationship.

[enree erzweglle]

I dislike the drama that you describe and go far, far out of my way to avoid it. I'm doing that right now, in fact, with a situation that should require more of my attention. I'm avoiding it because I don't like the drama that I suspect will come from it.

I'm more sensitive at certain times of the month. During those times, things that I normally & easily keep in check become things that I have to concentrate more on, throw more energy at. Once I realize what's fueling that sensitivity, it's easier to let it pass without incident.

[Qdrop]

let it pass without incident.

see, THAT'S IT! THAT WHAT GUYS WANT MORE OUT OF WOMEN!

LET IT PASS WITHOUT INCIDENT!


of course if it's a situation that truly needs attention, then address it...calmly, rationally--quietly. a calm request perhaps...

but otherwise, just let it go! don't react impulsivly to any mild emotional altercation that comes your way.
stop...think....then react if truly necessary. otherwise...let it go.

[Kid Presentable]

see, THAT'S IT! THAT WHAT GUYS WANT MORE OUT OF WOMEN!

LET IT PASS WITHOUT INCIDENT!


of course if it's a situation that truly needs attention, then address it...calmly, rationally--quietly. a calm request perhaps...

but otherwise, just let it go! don't react impulsivly to any mild emotional altercation that comes your way.
stop...think....then react if truly necessary. otherwise...let it go.

That's a form of control though. You're investing far more energy in a situation than your rationale would allow you to. ie, you have been coerced into the drama.

[Qdrop]

You're investing far more energy in a situation then your rationale would allow you to. ie, you have been coerced into the drama.
exactly...and that begins with the woman, and than is put upon the man in the relationship.
a lack of rational thinking, replaced by impulsive, emotional responses....which then are directed at the man....who gets angry, and despite attempts to keep it rational...is swept into an emotional shit storm...which no one wins.

[Kid Presentable]

exactly...and that begins with the woman, and than is put upon the man in the relationship.
a lack of rational thinking, replaced by impulsive, emotional responses....which then are directed at the man....who gets angry, and despite attempts to keep it rational...is swept into an emotional shit storm...which no one wins.

Although to be fair, the shit storm probably starts from the use of male 'cool', and the subsequent difficulty said female may encounter in deciphering why a guy just isn't as bothered as she is.

Perhaps calmness is easily mistaken for indifference.

[armyofme]

We dont love it. I for one hate it. It's painful, fruitless and exhausting. I think sometimes though, what men don't understand is that, sometimes we really just can't control it. Trust me, if I could, I would. I hate going through drama. HATE.

It's like someone with OCD. You can tell yourself over and over "dont lick the lightswitch again. Dont lick the lightswitch again." but then this other voice chimes in "well if you do it really quick Im sure no one will notice" so you quick jump up, lick the lightswitch, then your teacher sends you to the principal and you're all "what for?".

Your emotions argue with your sense of reason. Some women have stronger emotions than reason, some have stronger reason than emotion. It's all relative. But either way, don't think we dont struggle with it. Most of us try as hard as we can.

But hey, I know a lot of guys who go from loving to hostile in 2 seconds flat. Happy to comepletly pissed off. Guys can be just as dramatic as women, they just perform their drama differently.

[armyofme]

exactly...and that begins with the woman, and than is put upon the man in the relationship.
a lack of rational thinking, replaced by impulsive, emotional responses....which then are directed at the man....who gets angry, and despite attempts to keep it rational...is swept into an emotional shit storm...which no one wins.
Hmmm...you are skating on thin ice blaming it all on one partner.

Many times it is a culmination of a lot of bullshit that the woman, who historically and psychologically are much more patient than men, put up with over time. There is only so much we can withstand before we let it out.

Maybe we dont ever let it out, because every time we try to express any kind of dissonance we are confronted with accusation of uneeded emotions. Sometimes our emotions and reactions are warranted, whether you say so or not.

Personally I think it's a vicious cycle, perpetuated by both parties.

[Ace42X]

Is it in thier biological make-up to be histrionic, moody, emotional rollercoasters?

Long story short - yes, almsot qithout exception, and god bless'em they can't help it.

[Qdrop]

Perhaps calmness is easily mistaken for indifference.

probably.
even though all we are trying to do is keep it calm and let it pass...without sounding condecsending and verbally saying "okay...calm down....relax and think"....which they HATE to hear.

[Kid Presentable]

probably.
even though all we are trying to do is keep it calm and let it pass...without sounding condecsending and verbally saying "okay...calm down....relax and think"....which they HATE to hear.

Maybe it's non-verbal condescension, like furrowed brows. We might look like we're dealing with petulant children.

It would piss me off. :confused:

[Qdrop]

Hmmm...you are skating on thin ice blaming it all on one partner.

Many times it is a culmination of a lot of bullshit that the woman, who historically and psychologically are much more patient than men, put up with over time. There is only so much we can withstand before we let it out.

Maybe we dont ever let it out, because every time we try to express any kind of dissonance we are confronted with accusation of uneeded emotions. Sometimes our emotions and reactions are warranted, whether you say so or not.

Personally I think it's a vicious cycle, perpetuated by both parties.

yeah, i suppose i'm being biased here. men are not without blame in many situations.

it just seems to truly come down to very differant brain structures...and how each sex read, interprets, and reacts....

what to do, what to do....?

[Qdrop]

We might look like we're dealing with petulant children.



sometimes....it seems like we are.

[armyofme]

Mars and Venus dude. Mars and Venus.

[Qdrop]

Long story short - yes, almsot qithout exception, and god bless'em they can't help it.


but, as Woody Allen explained in "Annie Hall": "we need the eggs"...

[armyofme]

sometimes....it seems like we are.
ditto for us.

Women cry and whine.

Men yell and hit things.

we are all toddlers trapped in pretend important adult boddies.

NOW GIVE ME MY CHOCOLATE MILK BEFORE I TELL MY MOM!

[Documad]

I think a lot of what is mistaken for drama is really an inability to communicate. That's easier to see from outside the relationship. When I am in the relationship and I am making complete sense but the other person is not understanding me, I feel an intense rage that could be mistaken for drama. I have also been guilty of intentionally stoking up drama to make a point or get attention. I don't like myself when I do it and when I do it, it's because I feel that I've tried everything else. It also means that maybe the relationship isn't worth having if I have to stoke up drama to be heard.

[Kid Presentable]

You've got to admire the mate n run instinct we all try to fight by getting into relationships. Not just from a 'find em fuck em and flee' point of view either.

Women could probably benefit from us pissing off for good once the beast with two backs has been made.

[Qdrop]

Mars and Venus dude. Mars and Venus.
and thus a general explanation of why relationships fail.

but what of those that don't?
is it that one or both parties made strides to change said behavior?
or did one or both simply "give up" and just except it somehow?

"yeah...she's nuts.....but i just walk away now and go work in the garage....let her cool down..."

is THAT a good relationship? or one which is just "coasting"?

[enree erzweglle]

let it pass without incident.

see, THAT'S IT! THAT WHAT GUYS WANT MORE OUT OF WOMEN!

LET IT PASS WITHOUT INCIDENT!


of course if it's a situation that truly needs attention, then address it...calmly, rationally--quietly. a calm request perhaps...

but otherwise, just let it go! don't react impulsivly to any mild emotional altercation that comes your way.
stop...think....then react if truly necessary. otherwise...let it go.
It takes a lot of energy and patience for me to do that during stressful times or certain times of the month. It's almost like that thing that's needling me right then/there is larger than life and it's hard to put it down, put it away.

There are times when I make myself absolutely ignore my emotions. When I know that stress or hormones are making me divide out my reactions/energy is not the time (for me, at least) to try to address what I perceive to be a problem.

It took me a long time to identify that; longer to understand it; longer still to learn how to control it and control it consistently.

Keep in mind that I'm old. :)

[Documad]

I'd like to know from women who cause the drama or who know women who cause drama, what the man should do if he decides to have a relationship with her.

When I've completely lost my temper, the best thing to do is to tell me you heard and understood what I was saying. With other women who are more natural drama queens, I don't know if that's a good response or whether it will encourage more drama.

[armyofme]

and thus a general explanation of why relationships fail.

but what of those that don't?
is it that one or both parties made strides to change said behavior?
or did one or both simply "give up" and just except it somehow?

"yeah...she's nuts.....but i just walk away now and go work in the garage....let her cool down..."

is THAT a good relationship? or one which is just "coasting"?
it can be the reason relationships fail AND the reason they work.

Some people Find their opposite, but some find their compliment. Subtlye yet important difference

I was being silly, but it isnt as simple as mars and venus. While women have many of the same characteristics, and likewise with men, we all implement and control them to varying degrees and likenesses.

it isnt as simple as "You can make it work by..."

There is no handbook, no self-help NOVEL (because that really is what they are) that can improve your relationship.

Relationships do take work and a certain amount of compromise, but either you guys have it or you dont. You are with someone who will work with you and love you in harmony with what you are putting into it, or they wont. If a couple finds a happy medium where if things get to hard they step away from it until they can look at it rationally then so be it.

But for some people that wont work, and they wont be in a successful relationship until they find someone who will work with them in the same way as they will.

you follow?

[Qdrop]

It took me a long time to identify that; longer to understand it; longer still to learn how to control it and control it consistently. do you teach a seminar? how much do you charge?

Keep in mind that I'm old. :) so we just have to be patient huh?
at what age did the emotional self control start taking effect?

[armyofme]

When I've completely lost my temper, the best thing to do is to tell me you heard and understood what I was saying. With other women who are more natural drama queens, I don't know if that's a good response or whether it will encourage more drama.
Same here. What bothers me most is when Im trying to say something and the man just instigates by trying to put words in my mouth and twist what I am saying. I have experienced that quite often.

And to me, that is just as bad a form of creating drama as getting emotional.

[Kid Presentable]

at what age did the emotional self control start taking effect?

Not to be a dick, but I'm thinking that one of the fortunate aspects of my relationship is that I learnt self-control from it.

I met somebody who I'm willing to take a back seat to, if the need be, and who I'm not afraid to be myself with.

We haven't had 'The Drama' for some time. We might be due, too.

[enree erzweglle]

is THAT a good relationship? or one which is just "coasting"?
For me, yes. Coasting (perfect word) is fine during those hormone-charged times. In fact, I know that when I'm feeling that way and I'm not reacting to my emotions, I get quiet. I make myself do that.

Some of the guys that I've been in relationships with have been able to recognize what I'm feeling then. The best relationships were the ones where they could just let that go without trying to figure out every nuance of what I was feeling, why I was being quiet.

Those `trying to figure it all out' phases took too much time and energy. For me, they usually spawned pointless tangential/satellite arguments. Before I know it, we'd be up for 12 hours straight, hashing the same things over/over without end or resolution. It was never worth it to me. Much better to, as you said, coast through it.

The hard part is knowing when coasting is the right thing to do. If it took me a long time to understand this stuff about me/my body/my reactions, it's going to take guys a whole lot longer to understand it. It's not easy.

[Qdrop]

Not to be a dick, but I'm thinking that one of the fortunate aspects of my relationship is that I learnt self-control from it.

I met somebody who I'm willing to take a back seat to, if the need be, and who I'm not afraid to be myself with.

We haven't had 'The Drama' for some time. We might be due, too.

oh yeah...that's where i'm at too.
this isn't an "all too often" thing with me personally.....not anymore.
it's relatively rare (though could be rarer;) )....
but it's just a general discussion about WHY this happens....

and more a general discussion about women in general.

[armyofme]

Heh. I warn my guy when PMS starts. I tell him "BEWARE I MAY BE NEEDY OR EMOTIONAL"

Yesterday was a rough day and I came home worn out for no particular reason.

He just held me and said "PMS?"

I just nodded and wept in his shoulder.

[Qdrop]

Heh. I warn my guy when PMS starts. I tell him "BEWARE I MAY BE NEEDY OR EMOTIONAL"

Yesterday was a rough day and I came home worn out for no particular reason.

He just held me and said "PMS?"

I just nodded and wept in his shoulder.

yeah, that sounds like my girl to a T...

[Qdrop]

relationships are just complicated, if you have to work at it....its not worth it.

i'm guessing your single, huh?

good luck with that....

[enree erzweglle]

do you teach a seminar? how much do you charge?

so we just have to be patient huh?
at what age did the emotional self control start taking effect?
I think I started to see the effects somewhere in my early 30s. I'd been working on it for a long time before that, though.

Drugs help. Only kidding. NEVER DO DRUGS.

[armyofme]

I dislike the PMS excuse, and I am a female. :confused:
Isnt that still in question?

I love the PMS excuse. Only because it isnt one for me. I used to get violently emotional come PMS time. Im much better than I was, but it still happens...like clockwork.

[enree erzweglle]

I dislike the PMS excuse, and I am a female. :confused:
I don't see it as an excuse. I's not like I'm saying, "I'm going to shit all over you and it's okay because I have PMS." It's more like I understand my body and what's happening to make me think the way I'm thinking. It might not be this way for everyone; it is for me.

PMS isn't the only factor that affects emotions (for me). Stress is a huge factor. If I don't find outlets for that, I'll let my emotions drive more than they should. It's a matter of having things compete for my energy--the more I can cut down on that, the easier it is to recognize why I'm feeling what I'm feeling and then figure out how to shut that down.

[Kid Presentable]

I was always kind of stunned at the exemption from emotional accountability some women afford themselves when the painters are in.

[armyofme]

I was always kind of stunned at the exemption from emotional accountability some women afford themselves when the painters are in.
Ha. I like that one.

I never exempt myself and I ALWAYS apologize If I feel I have been wrong in any way.

But if Im not being bitchy or cruel, im just being depressed or in need of some attention, I dont see what I have to apologize for, especially if it's something I am trying to control through hormone pills and such, but am still having a tough time.

I let my man be bitchy when his team loses or he stubs his toe. He can do me the same favor I think.

[Kid Presentable]

Ha. I like that one.

I never exempt myself and I ALWAYS apologize If I feel I have been wrong in any way.

But if Im not being bitchy or cruel, im just being depressed or in need of some attention, I dont see what I have to apologize for, especially if it's something I am trying to control through hormone pills and such, but am still having a tough time.

I let my man be bitchy when his team loses or he stubs his toe. He can do me the same favor I think.


For sure. Some women use it against people, and that's their issue I guess.

[Documad]

I hate the PMS excuse too, but I have never had the problems many women apparently have. In fact, I used to be pretty mean about it because I thought they were making it up--all the girls who got out of swimming in school because they were rolling around on the floor with cramps. :)

Then a couple of years ago I started getting mild symptoms and realized that some women have had worse since they were teenagers.

There has always been a couple of hours each month where I tend to cry for no reason and want to throw the phone out the window. After all these years, I never see it coming. At some point in the middle of it, it occurs to me that I'm being irrational and then I realize what's going on. The worst thing you could say to me at that point is that it's just PMS. Better to just say "I'm sorry" and leave it at that.

[enree erzweglle]

I was always kind of stunned at the exemption from emotional accountability some women afford themselves when the painters are in.How do they exempt themselves? You mean when they give in to those emotions, piss all over everyone, and move on as if nothing happened?

Not all women do that--some have learned to control it or maybe they never even did that to begin with.

[Kid Presentable]

Not all women do that--some have learned to control it or maybe they never even did that to begin with.

Yeah it's a select few that I've encountered. Strangely they were always the 'My Shit don't Stink' princess types. Do you think that this could be their anger at their periods? Like shattering their carefully molded facades? Or is menstruation not that big of a deal?

I try to ask missus about it but she just gets all hormonal. :D

[Documad]

btw, there is a lot of drama in relationships that has nothing to do with PMS. It's a huge mistake to blame all your problems on that.

My friend had some major communication problems with her husband and they went to counselling to just learn how to talk to each other. It was amazing and I don't even like counselling.

[enree erzweglle]

I hate the PMS excuse too, but I have never had the problems many women apparently have. In fact, I used to be pretty mean about it because I thought they were making it up--all the girls who got out of swimming in school because they were rolling around on the floor with cramps. :)
PMS for me is this: more sensitivity in the days leading up to my period. It doesn't usually happen every month--it happens maybe every other month. Sometimes it happens in back-to-back months.

[Kid Presentable]

btw, there is a lot of drama in relationships that has nothing to do with PMS. It's a huge mistake to blame all your problems on that.


Sorry, I hope I didn't steer the convo that way.
:o

[Qdrop]

yeah, can we NOT turn this into a "my stupid period" thread.

keep it more general.

[enree erzweglle]

btw, there is a lot of drama in relationships that has nothing to do with PMS. It's a huge mistake to blame all your problems on that.
Is anyone doing that here, though? I didn't see anything like that.

(I agree with you, of course, Documad. There are lots of forces at play in relationships. Stress is a big one. A lot of that got better for me as I got older and as some stressers naturally went away or changed; other aspects of stress improved as I learned to put it away.)

[Kid Presentable]

What about the guy getting drunk without the girl, coming home drunk, with an armful of pumpkins, singing 'That's Amore' at the top of his lungs?

Hypothetically, how would that be dealt with?

[Documad]

Is anyone doing that here, though? I didn't see anything like that.
No, it was just that PMS was mentioned in about 1/2 the posts so it felt like the conversation was drifting that way. :)

[wanton wench]

I was always kind of stunned at the exemption from emotional accountability some women afford themselves when the painters are in.
i love this line.

here wait.............................................. ..................................

[wanton wench]

I was always kind of stunned at the exemption from emotional accountability some women afford themselves when the painters are in.
i had to quote it again.
the "painters" are no excuse. i hate when women use that. but men do have to realize that they are dealing with a different women during this time. i think the women that are drama queens let their emotions rule. emotions change from moment to moment. its idiotic to base any kind of decision on them.

[Qdrop]

emotions change from moment to moment. its idiotic to base any kind of decision on them.
so...what is a man to do about it?
we love you women, want to be with you women....
so what are we to do in situations like this? just take our lumps? take the abuse...
just be supportive and accept your behaviors?
play the role of the "lamb"?

[Kid Presentable]

so...what is a man to do about it?
we love you women, want to be with you women....
so what are we to do in situations like this? just take our lumps? take the abuse...
just be supportive and accept your behaviors?
play the role of the "lamb"?

mmhm

[aspartame]

Typically, women are more emotional than men because of the chromosome thing, PMS, and that's how we've been conditioned at a young age. For example, have you ever noticed the little kid's behavior when they are playing? Little boys play strategy games, such as Lego's or football. Little communication required, that's why boys do better in math and science. They're conditioned to solve problems at a young age. But girls are taught to play games that require verbal communication, i.e., girls playing with dolls. Some women don't feel secure in a relationship unless the guy is consistently expressing his emotions about her. I also know women (in general) are insecure, jealous, competitive, attention hungry freaks. That's why I hang out with guys, less drama. The only suggestion I have is to express your emotions about frequently, tell her you care, send her some flowers. If her behavior continues, send her a psychiatrist or end it. Hope that helped.

[Kid Presentable]

insecure, jealous, competitive, attention hungry freaks.

That's a lot of dudes too. Why else would there be a fashion mullet?

[kll]

I prefer no drama. Moodiness sometimes creates drama in my relationship, but it ain't my moodiness that's causing it... go figure.

[aspartame]

That's a lot of dudes too. Why else would there be a fashion mullet?

Good point!

[mickill]

NOTICE** : this thread is for women and/or men who are in or have had long-term relationships, and thus have extensive experiance.

if you are teenage dude virgin, with little-to-no relationship experiance....move along. you know who you are!
-----------------


No need to single Echewta out like that, man. Not cool.


Now, I hate to generalize - and this isn't supported by any formal study and/or actual legitimate theory other than my own - but I usually attribute "the drama" to one of the 3 main constituents of female predisposition:

barbie
soap operas
her mother

Now you know where to place all the blame, dog. Holla.

[Nadia]

i'm in the 10th year of our relationship right now, without any breakups etc.
i used to be a really, really big drama queen. i was insanely jealous, i had to control everything he did, i made him forget about most of his friends...
then, last february, i had to stop from taking the pill because i had searious health problems (because of the pill). well, my personality changed totally! i now know that most of my mood swings (do you call it like this?) were caused by this f**cking pills i took day by day for the last 10 years... the pill is nothing more but a hormone cocktail, think about it.
i finally am happy with myself, like the way i look, like my body & personality, i don't bitch around like i used to etc. etc.
my "problems" basically started when i began taking the pill, and i guess there are a ton of other women out there that would feel much better if they'd stopped taking it too.

(man, i wish english was my first language... )

[Qdrop]

I have known some dudes to be moody. One day they're talking and the next day they won't even crack a smile.


probably because some drama queen chick just pissed him off.

[ToucanSpam]

As good a theory mickill has, I think that it has a lot to do with psychology. More specifically, it has to do with the type of personality people have. It isn't just women who 'love emotional drama', from my own very limited life experience with dealing with people in relationships, guys like to 'stir the pot' just as much.

I think that there is this certain characteristic in people that makes them either want to be the center of attention, or wants to talk about other people who are currently in that spotlight with as many people as they can.


....then again, barbie, soap operas and her mother......damn he's good.

[wanton wench]

so...what is a man to do about it?
we love you women, want to be with you women....
so what are we to do in situations like this? just take our lumps? take the abuse...
just be supportive and accept your behaviors?
play the role of the "lamb"?
its important (to most women) to feel supported. so yes support your women. but dont take abuse. when you know your women is "extra" sensitive try to be "extra" nice give her more hugs than usual, compliment her more (she wont take this well but do it anyway she will remember) or just tell her you understand, or tell her everything will be ok. listen to her wine and complain. sometimes we just need to get it off our chest and then we are fine.

ok so the abuse part, well if she is being unreasonable try to remember what she is going through. remember she is a different girl right now and things that worked and that she understood before wont work now. tell her you understand and walk away. you wont win any kind of argument with her right now and everything you say and do is wrong. see but that goes for her too. everything she says and does is wrong and some women dont deal with that too well. sometimes its best just to leave her alone. all women are different and all relationships are different.
:D

[Qdrop]

soap operas




yep.
i've seen this too many times in my life when dealing with women.
an unrealistic view on romanitc expectations....that they see in movies/TV/novels...

[Kid Presentable]

Some of them listened to New Kids on the Block.

[Echewta]

Thats why I only date robots.

[DandyFop]

It's like someone with OCD. You can tell yourself over and over "dont lick the lightswitch again. Dont lick the lightswitch again." but then this other voice chimes in "well if you do it really quick Im sure no one will notice" so you quick jump up, lick the lightswitch, then your teacher sends you to the principal and you're all "what for?".


Hahaha the most random David Sedaris reference ever. Nice.


Q, from personal experience I would have to say, a lot of girls I know go "I hate drama", and yet, like you say, they still do the rollercoaster thing. I, for I, am an extremely laid back person. It takes a lot to get me riled up usually, but for some reason in a relationship I can totally turn into the emotional basket case, and I have no idea why. I can not control it. I will bitch about stupid things, be upset about little things, it's so so strange. I don't know where the hell it comes from....

I think maybe it's a woman's subconcious way of "testing" the guy - making sure that they love her, or believe in the relationship. I know personally that so many things I do with guys, they just happen, and i might not realize why I was acting like that untill much later.

[mickill]

Men only put up with women because, seriously, look at our options.

[aspartame]

As good a theory mickill has, I think that it has a lot to do with psychology. More specifically, it has to do with the type of personality people have. It isn't just women who 'love emotional drama', from my own very limited life experience with dealing with people in relationships, guys like to 'stir the pot' just as much.

I think that there is this certain characteristic in people that makes them either want to be the center of attention, or wants to talk about other people who are currently in that spotlight with as many people as they can.


....then again, barbie, soap operas and her mother......damn he's good.


Valid point. Yes, some men create drama. But, from past experiences, I feel most men don't take drama as seriously as women. Some women use drama to boost their self confidence. Some women use drama to belittle, embarrass, or harass another person. I think men mostly joke about drama, they're not trying to consciously hurt someone. Most guys I know don't gossip, and if something REALLY pissed them off, they'll yell at first, then they isolate themselves from friends for a while. Some guys fight, some guys yell, but from my experience, I feel it's rare that a guy would create drama to defend themself in a bad situation. Many women use drama and gossip to control a situation and manipulate people. I know not all women are like this, me being one of them, but some women are evil and start drama to gain something. Maybe it's just southern women, but all of my friends are guys because they create far less drama.

[mickill]

Typically, women are more emotional than men because of the chromosome thing, PMS, and that's how we've been conditioned at a young age. For example, have you ever noticed the little kid's behavior when they are playing? Little boys play strategy games, such as Lego's or football. Little communication required, that's why boys do better in math and science. They're conditioned to solve problems at a young age. But girls are taught to play games that require verbal communication, i.e., girls playing with dolls. Some women don't feel secure in a relationship unless the guy is consistently expressing his emotions about her. I also know women (in general) are insecure, jealous, competitive, attention hungry freaks. That's why I hang out with guys, less drama. The only suggestion I have is to express your emotions about frequently, tell her you care, send her some flowers. If her behavior continues, send her a psychiatrist or end it. Hope that helped.

By the way, I think that this is the best explanation so far. Next to mine.

[aspartame]

By the way, I think that this is the best explanation so far. Next to mine.

I agree!

[kll]

I agree!
fuckin kiss ass. like mickill needs more fans.

[mickill]

Have another glass of Haterade, Jan Brady.

[kll]

I almost laughed at that one.








Almost.

[mickill]

What's with this love/hate thing you have for me, you dumb broad?

[kll]

Where's the love?



All I am aware of is the latter...

[mickill]

God, please, kill her. I - hope - she - get - hit by a truck and die.

[kll]

God, please, kill her. I - hope - she - get - hit by a truck and die.

It's close, so don't worry.

[Qdrop]

Hahaha the most random David Sedaris reference ever. Nice.


Q, from personal experience I would have to say, a lot of girls I know go "I hate drama", and yet, like you say, they still do the rollercoaster thing. I, for I, am an extremely laid back person. It takes a lot to get me riled up usually, but for some reason in a relationship I can totally turn into the emotional basket case, and I have no idea why. I can not control it. I will bitch about stupid things, be upset about little things, it's so so strange. I don't know where the hell it comes from.... it's the red hair.

I think maybe it's a woman's subconcious way of "testing" the guy - making sure that they love her, or believe in the relationship. i think that's a big part of it...and it sucks.
i think that some people actually get addicted to the actual emotional chemicals in the brain that are released during these confrontations.
that movie "what the bl@*p do we knw?" kinda touched on this for a segment.
certain emotions trigger the release of certain neural peptides....chemicals. and some people literally become addicted to these chemical in thier brains...to the point where they seek out (consciously or subconsciously) certain situations and scenarios that will cause these chemicals to be released...

[enree erzweglle]

but I usually attribute "the drama" to one of the 3 main constituents of female predisposition:

barbie
soap operas
her mother

and

trashy/Harlequin romance novels
articles in magazines that completley undermine men

[kll]

I can say that I have never been inspired to live my life as a soap opera by a soap opera. Except for maybe the demon that Marlena turns into on Days.



Seriously though, I have been more moved by movies and the sex/love scenes and WISHED I had a lovelife like that, but my turning into a demon has had nothing to do with that disappointment. :rolleyes:

[Ace42X]

and
articles in magazines that completley undermine men

And males' sex drive. It is a major achilles heel. With great power comes great responsibility, and most women are not responsible enough to have that much power over the mind of men.

[cosmo105]

the thing is...so many women have this stupid emotional disability where they have to have someone that treats them like crap. they won't admit it, but they want someone (the proverbial "bad boy") to be an asshole and then love her SO MUCH that he changes himself for her. stupid, stupid, stupid.

kind of on a tanget, but you get the idea.

[hardnox71]

That is a very good question, Q, and I think the answer is yes......to some extent. Not all women are the same so not all are gonna love emotional drama. Some might just like it. Some might find it entertaining and amusing, see where I'm coming from? But I think all women do have a drama queen in them somewhere.

I haven't dated since my ex and I broke up four years ago. My friends keep asking me why I don't "get back in the game". The topic of this thread is the reason. It sounds like a great sacrifice, and maybe to some it is, but to me? having my piece of mind and my sanity on a day to day basis is worth it. I got enough shit going on that I can't control as it is. The last thing I need right now is a super emotional, high strung, weepy, bitchy, it's-that-time-of-the-month-so-tiptoe-around-me, if-you-don't-know-why-I'm-mad-then-it-doesn't-matter woman giving me a hard time. The last one wore me out pretty good. It's been four years and my batteries still aren't recharged.

edit-Everytime I see a couple somewhere aruging and fighting or I see my friend Rob and his girl having one of their Super Bowl, knock-down, drag out fights I always think to myself, "God, I don't miss that shit. I really don't."

[zorra_chiflada]

i just generally have a bad temper and get upset easily. i didn't realise that most women do this. :confused: i always thought there was something wrong with me. i don't love it, and i don't get it at that time of the month either. my father had a terrible temper and flew off the handle all the time. so i don't think it's to do with me being a woman, it could be an inherited anger problem. who knows?
thankfully joe is the most calm and patient person, and he doesn't get that frustrated at me. no-one else would be that understanding :o

[beastieangel01]

I agree with everything armyofme stated in the first two posts. As far as the rest, I did not read them.

I have to say, I am one that tried to avoid drama at all costs in my relationship to the point that I became WAY too tolerant of the other persons actions. I mean, to the point that I literally was a carpet he walked on. And whether he knew it or not, he took advantage of that.

Now I actually speak up when something is up that I think is a big issue, vs. keeping it in even if it were something that is super important.

If anything it was HIM that acted "like a woman" all the time. In fact, I can say that about many of them men I had in my life.

[ToucanSpam]

the thing is...so many women have this stupid emotional disability where they have to have someone that treats them like crap. they won't admit it, but they want someone (the proverbial "bad boy") to be an asshole and then love her SO MUCH that he changes himself for her. stupid, stupid, stupid.

kind of on a tanget, but you get the idea.

I liked this, it made sense to me.


Question though, why do girls go for the 'bad boy' when a perfectly nice guy is standing right in front of them? That's something I don't understand.

[mickill]

I liked this, it made sense to me.
Ah. That explains why you like so few things.

[ToucanSpam]

Ah. That explains why you like so few things.

:rolleyes:

[ms.peachy]

Question though, why do girls go for the 'bad boy' when a perfectly nice guy is standing right in front of them? That's something I don't understand.
Because they are girls.

Women know better.

[Qdrop]

Because they are girls.

Women know better.

(y)

[ToucanSpam]

Because they are girls.

Women know better.

Alright, very good, then answer me this.


Why are there so few women on Earth?

[ms.peachy]

Alright, very good, then answer me this.


Why are there so few women on Earth?
Probably because there are so many boys, and so few men.

You starting to get how this works, or what?

[ToucanSpam]

Probably because there are so many boys, and so few men.

You starting to get how this works, or what?
Yes. It works both ways. The same way that some men love the emotional drama too.

[ms.peachy]

Yes. It works both ways. The same way that some men love the emotional drama too.
There ya go.

It's all so simple, really.

[Ace42X]

Question though, why do girls go for the 'bad boy' when a perfectly nice guy is standing right in front of them? That's something I don't understand.

Quite simply they want to fuck, but they don't want a relationship. Going out with a badboy is a great way of getting laid without having to worry about being in the relationship too long. Means that they get to dump him when he inevitably act likes a jerk, and no-one calls her a slut or a using whore. Likewise, the propensity for a badboy to dump them at a whim also means they get the "awww, you tried your best" sympathy from everyone.

It's basically a mechanism for them to act like guys without appearing to act like guys IMO.

[armyofme]

Quite simply they want to fuck, but they don't want a relationship. Going out with a badboy is a great way of getting laid without having to worry about being in the relationship too long. Means that they get to dump him when he inevitably act likes a jerk, and no-one calls her a slut or a using whore. Likewise, the propensity for a badboy to dump them at a whim also means they get the "awww, you tried your best" sympathy from everyone.

It's basically a mechanism for them to act like guys without appearing to act like guys IMO.
Ummm...wow.

You dont have a girlfriend do you?

[Ace42X]

Ummm...wow.

You dont have a girlfriend do you?

No, your mother thinks we should be free to see other people.


:(

[armyofme]

No, your mother thinks we should be free to see other people.


:(
Why do people get offended when others say things about going out with their mother?

In essence you just told me my mother dumped you. Why would that offend me? Im proud of her :)

[Ace42X]

In essence you just told me my mother dumped you. Why would that offend me? Im proud of her :)

Yes, well done, you have just managed to spell out the irony to any individuals too slow to figure it out on their own. Implied humour ruined.

Next you'll be saying "Oh, but when you said you got AIDS off my mother, surely that reflects badly on you?!?" all wide-eyed...

[armyofme]

Why would I say that? You didnt say you got AIDS off my mother. :confused:

[Ace42X]

Why would I say that? You didnt say you got AIDS off my mother. :confused:

<sigh> Yes... I know... Again, implied humour ruined. As any fule kno, the ladder of "your mother" cusses goes: I slept with your mum, and she was shit; She gave me AIDS / I infected her with AIDS after bumming your dad; I had your nan, and she was shit / she was dead and that is why she didn't move around much / she wouldn't fuck me until after she'd finished with your dog.

Jeez...

[armyofme]

That was the strangest string of "your mother/yo mama" jokes I have ever witnessed...



But well worth the anguish visited upon you.

[Qdrop]

Quite simply they want to fuck, but they don't want a relationship. Going out with a badboy is a great way of getting laid without having to worry about being in the relationship too long. Means that they get to dump him when he inevitably act likes a jerk, and no-one calls her a slut or a using whore. Likewise, the propensity for a badboy to dump them at a whim also means they get the "awww, you tried your best" sympathy from everyone.

It's basically a mechanism for them to act like guys without appearing to act like guys IMO.

i disagree.
i think it's a natural status seeking trend in women.
Bad boys are put on a pedastal and looked upon fondly by most cultures in the sense of toughness (ability protect) and aggression (strength)....they command respect and status. women are drawn to that.
they also tailor to many women's motherly instinct....to help, teach, take care of..."he's rough around the edges....but i'll help him reform."

[kll]

I enjoy drama only when it involves mickill and dirty socks.