Political Jokes!

[QueenAdrock]

I just stole this one from my friend's away message:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were lost in an accident."The President replies, "OH NO! That's terrible!" His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks "How many is a Brazillian??!"

:D

Edit: Only humorous jokes, please. No "And then a million people died because liberals/conservatives are a bunch of douches!" Although I enjoy cynacism, this isn't the thread for it! Kthx!

[TonsOfFun]

^HA, I like that :D

erm, joke:

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?
Father: Sure, son. What's the question?
Son: What is politics?
Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me “Tony Blair.” Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her “Gordon Brown.” We take care of your needs, so we'll call you “the People.” We'll call the maid “the Working Class,” and your baby brother we can call “the Future.” Do you understand, son?
Son: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: Dad, now I think I understand what politics is.
Father: Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?
Son: Well, dad, while Tony Blair is screwing the Working Class, Gordon Brown is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.


Source: Unkown

[Ali]

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/uclickcomics/20051006/cx_bs_uc/bs20051006

[sam i am]

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/uclickcomics/20051006/cx_bs_uc/bs20051006

Now....that's HUMOR!! :D

[Echewta]

Comedian Earthquake on HBO:

"I've been walking this earth for 40 years and I ain't never met a bitch named Condoleeza."

Or something like that. :D

[King PSYZ]

ready?
here it comes...













































George W. Bush

[QueenAdrock]

Rofflemayo.

[catatonic]

George W. Bush and the Jews

President Bush calls in the head of the CIA and asks, "How come the Jews know everything before we do?

The CIA chief says, "It's simple. The Jews have an expression, Nu, Vus Tutzuch (English translation: What's Happening). They just ask each other and that's how they find out everything."

Impressed, George W. Bush says he personally wants to go undercover to see how this system works.

So the president gets disguised (the hat, beard, long sideburns etc.) as an Orthodox Jew, and is secretly flown in an unmarked plane to New York where he is secretly picked up in an unmarked car and secretly dropped off in Crown Heights, one of Brooklyn's most Jewish neighborhoods.

As the president stands quietly on a busy street corner, a little old Jewish man comes shuffling along. Bush approaches him and whispers "Nu,Vus Tutzuch?"

The old guy whispers back, "Did you hear that putz Bush is in Brooklyn?"

[King PSYZ]

wooo what a knee slapper...

[catatonic]

I edited the post.

[King PSYZ]

not sure if that was the best move, I don't really see how it's political. I see the stereotypical, so at least it's got a ...ical going on.

[valvano]

One day God is watching Oprah and its about men who have been castrated yet they are still scared of the bar on a boy's bicycle. God is so upset that one of his greatest creations, sex, has come to this that he has decided to end the world and start all over again. So he call's his buddy at the New York Times and lets him in on the scoop. He tell's the reporter that he's ending the world in two days. The reporter is like, WOW, thats big news. Why? God tells him that man has taken one of the most beautiful things he creates, sex, and perverted it, destroyed it, etc. The reporter admits this is a pretty big scoop and ask God if he's told any other newspapers. God admits that yes, he has, just to be fair to everybody.

The next day all the newspapers come out with the big news.

Front page of the New York Times "God Ends World Tomorrow : Section G , Page 23".

Front page of USA Today "It's Over"

Front page of the Wall St Journal "God Ends World Tomorrow : Markets to Close Early Today"

Finally, the Washington Post comes out.............."God Ends World Tomorrow : Women and Minorities Hit Hardest"


:D :D