Imagine if you saw a chimpanzee waving a gun

[paul jones]

...walking towards you saying 'DAVE! DAVE!...my wife's burnt my fucking dinner!'


what would you do?

[roosta]

laugh til i shit myself

[ToucanSpam]

wake up hopefully

[BionicEye]

i would ask it where it learned to talk

[ms.peachy]

Say "Sorry, I'm not Dave"?

[mickill]

I'd reach for my burner and be like, "wassup now, muhfucka?" and let off at least 12 rounds in that chimp's chest. But that's just me. I don't take no shit.

[avfc]

This reminds me of my favorite saying: "if you give a monkey a gun and the monkey shoots someone, you can't blame the monkey".

[Lex Diamonds]

Offer to buy him a Big Mac.

[Monsieur Decuts]

i'd blow up a rubber glove so it looks like the top of a chicken's head and i'd put it on my hat and run around spewing out random Danny Glover quotes such as "One of the main purveyors of violence in this world has been this country" and "The death penalty is inhumane... whether that person is in a jail or it's bin Laden." This perplexs the chimp who originally thought Danny Glover was a spicey side kick and not a left wing rehtoric spitter.

[fucktopgirl]

i would calm him down by make him a nice bananasplit!

[DemonicAngel444]

I don't know... what a good question. I think I would be in so much shock that there was a talking monkey with a gun I wouldn't do anything.

[Chicka B]

I would punch the monkey in the face. I heard that's whatcha supposed to do when a shark attacks you.

[King PSYZ]

I'd vow to stop dropping acid before going to the zoo...

[TonsOfFun]

That made me laugh more than anything else has for a while.

I'd probably say 'Dave's not here man'. Unless he was then I'd introduce them and eat his dinner.

[wanton wench]

i would sic my cat (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a195/wantonwench/snipercat.jpg) on him!

[mickill]

So, basically, I'm the only one that would shoot it. Well, this is embarrassing.

[TurdBerglar]

i would help him go find dave

[CrankItUp!]

Seriously - is anyone named dave not cool ? :cool:

[mickill]

I'd say that just about every Dave I've ever known has been a complete and total waste of valuable human organs and skin tissue. I think that all Dave's should have their lungs punctured with a rusty pipe right where they stand and be fed their severed penises right before they're tossed off the side of a mountain.

[Freebasser]

I'd say "Put the gun down, Bradd. It isn't worth it".

[mickill]

Okay, Aidan's on sort of a roll today.

[Freebasser]

You won't say that when you see what I put in the "Like that? Try this" thread :/

[Chicka B]

I'd say that just about every Dave I've ever known has been a complete and total waste of valuable human organs and skin tissue. I think that all Dave's should have their lungs punctured with a rusty pipe right where they stand and be fed their severed penises right before they're tossed off the side of a mountain.

I agree, my racist, perverted grandpa's name is Dave. But on the other side my best friend's dad's name is Dave and my older half brother's name is David but people call him Dave. Hmm...

[mickill]

You won't say that when you see what I put in the "Like that? Try this" thread :/

I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that. This is me looking the other way.

[Freebasser]

*steals the panties off your washing line*

[fucktopgirl]

I'd say that just about every Dave I've ever known has been a complete and total waste of valuable human organs and skin tissue. I think that all Dave's should have their lungs punctured with a rusty pipe right where they stand and be fed their severed penises right before they're tossed off the side of a mountain.


ohohoh,slow down your horse, :eek: ,"dave,"are cool!!it just happens that you where not lucky enought to meet one!

My boyfriend is a david but all english people call him dave,,so i feel kind of touch by your graphic comment!!So maybe you should stop your racism over all dave and david that live and excuse yourself!! :D
And if not: go kill that monkey!

[miss_bhaven]

Scream, then faint (hopefully in my dream!)

[Tzar]

I'd reach for my burner and be like, "wassup now, muhfucka?" and let off at least 12 rounds in that chimp's chest. But that's just me. I don't take no shit.
werd. i'd do the same.

[discopants]

I'd ask Pete Sampras where he got the gun from.
600 posts.

[Mot]

like this?
http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=1021853#post1021853

[Nuzzolese]

Am I the only person who doesn't get it? Is it from a movie or something?

[ms.peachy]

I'd say that just about every Dave I've ever known has been a complete and total waste of valuable human organs and skin tissue. I think that all Dave's should have their lungs punctured with a rusty pipe right where they stand and be fed their severed penises right before they're tossed off the side of a mountain.
What about Letterman?

[Nuzzolese]

Are Davids ok?

What about Chappelle?

[mickill]

I think that what I said may have been taken a bit out of context. I actually don't have anything against Daves. I was merely stating that the majority of them should be violently killed wherever possible.

[Nuzzolese]

I still don't understand the chimpanzee thing. Where did that come from and why did so many people immediately have answers to that hypothetical?

[mickill]

I dunno.

I have no clue what that was either. I was just saying that I'd shoot it in self defense.

[paul jones]

Am I the only person who doesn't get it? Is it from a movie or something?

no,I just made it up yesterday (y)

[Lowjams]

Id hope the gun aint loaded. Heh.

[Lex Diamonds]

I would probably sound all confused and tired and say "Dave's not here, man". (y)