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View Full Version : Diagnose me

cookiepuss
10-18-2005, 03:49 PM
Post an aliment and let the wanna be doctors of the BBMB give you a diagnosis and recomend treatment for all your aches and pains!

(please remember this is just for fun. if you are concerned because you are having real medical issues and pain, please see a professional. I shouldn't have to say that but somehow I think I might need to)



Sometimes I have sharp pains in my hands that last for several minutes. What's wrong with me?
TAL
10-18-2005, 03:51 PM
There are thumbtacks on your desk and the pain lasts until you get them all out after planting your hand on them.
Freebasser
10-18-2005, 03:54 PM
Dear Dr. Doofus

Two days ago I couldn't get up in the morning, like literally couldn't move. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, sure, my mistress handcuffed me to the bed and left after flushing the key down the toilet, but you'd think there'd be a little movement there somewhere.

What's wrong with me?

P.S. Tell my wife I love her, and tell my mistress I love her too.
open letter
10-18-2005, 03:59 PM
Sometimes I have sharp pains in my hands that last for several minutes. What's wrong with me?
a trapped nerve in your wrist ,maybe cause by too much masturbation,as for treatment,i don't know (n)
cookiepuss
10-18-2005, 04:01 PM
Dear Dr. Doofus

Two days ago I couldn't get up in the morning, like literally couldn't move. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, sure, my mistress handcuffed me to the bed and left after flushing the key down the toilet, but you'd think there'd be a little movement there somewhere.

What's wrong with me?

P.S. Tell my wife I love her, and tell my mistress I love her too.


Ah yes. It sounds like you are suffering from accute delusional sextopia peralisis. Your mistress isn't real but rather a figment of your imagination which you have created to deal with your abusive marriage. this condition manifests through self-induced peralisis of the body. There is no cure but with some medication and marriage counseling there is some hope that your will be able to manage your condition.

I'm going to perscribe 500mg of litium daily until symtoms subside.
Lilb
10-18-2005, 04:07 PM
R.A. ;)
cookiepuss
10-18-2005, 04:18 PM
^ :confused:
paul jones
10-18-2005, 04:31 PM
I sneezed earlier causing me to spill some tea from the mug I was carrying it in
TonsOfFun
10-18-2005, 04:33 PM
there is nothing any one has that beer cannot cure generally
cookiepuss
10-18-2005, 04:37 PM
I sneezed earlier causing me to spill some tea from the mug I was carrying it in


Oh shit. Java fever. you have to burn all your clothing and anything you've touched within the last 24, now and right away. You had best quarentine yourself for the next week at least or there will be an epidemic. Java fever is extremely contagious.


Don't drink any more coffee or tea or your symptoms will only get worse.
paul jones
10-18-2005, 04:38 PM
Oh shit. Java fever. you have to burn all your clothing and anything you've touched within the last 24, now and right away. You had best quarentine yourself for the next week at least or there will be an epidemic. Java fever is extremely contagious.


Don't drink any more coffee or tea or your symptoms will only get worse.

Yeah!!!!!!!

a week in bed (y)
fucktopgirl
10-18-2005, 04:38 PM
at night,sometimes ,i see weird little creature hanging out in my room,playing music and smoking some pot!
laurie_hammy
10-18-2005, 04:54 PM
Sometimes I get a sore back after surfing ? AM I GONNA DIE :eek: ???

Oh and also when I wake up in the morning the thing inbetween my legs is looking up at me, im scared, is it gonna hurt me ?

P.S. VERY SCARED, PLZ HELP