My mother in law

[ms.peachy]

Honestly, the more time goes by, the more amazed I am that my husband has turned out as emotionally well-adjusted as he is.

So mr.p and I will be going back to the US for the holidays this year, and we'll be spending Christmas Eve and Day with his sister and her husband and 3 kids. So the sister called their mom to tell her that we were coming and to ask her if she wanted to come up too (M-i-l is in Florida, S-i-l is in New Jersey), and that if she did, we'd all chip in for her airfare. (Not that she'd need us to, she's got a decent amount of money fo her own, but she's tight as a flea's ass.)

M-i-l's response? "I'm just not really interested in doing that."

Not really interested in spending Christmas with her grandkids, or seeing her son whom she hasn't seen in four years, or anything like that.

WTF?

[HEIRESS]

she's growing some sweet hydro maryjane in her basement and doesnt know anyone she trusts well enough to care for her harvest over the holidays hence she is unable to take you up on your offer

[adam_f]

Now is the time when I would ask "What would the gay kid from Who's the Boss do?"

[paul jones]

MOTHER-IN-LAW JOKES



Did you know you can calculate the age of your mother-in-law by counting the rings in her bath tub.


Fred, to Steve, ' You're looking down in the mouth today, what's the matter?' Steve ' I had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore she wouldn't talk to me for a month, ' Fred, ' That's not so bad.' Steve 'Yes it is, that was four weeks ago!'


I saw six men kicking and punching my Mother-in-law. My wife said, 'Aren't you going to help?' I said, 'No. Six should be enough.'


Of course Adam was the only married man not to have a mother-in-law.And he lived in paradise.


What's the best way to talk to your mother-in-law? Through a medium


After years of marriage, Tom eventually developed an attachment for his mother-in-law.It fitted over her mouth.


What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.


My mother-in-law paid me a compliment the other day. She called me a perfect idiot.

A rag-and-bone man knocked on my-mother-in-law's front door and asked her if she had any beer bottles. 'Do I look as if I drink beer?' she said. So the man looked at her and said, 'So do you have any vinegar bottles?'


A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One evening the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. She rushes to find her husband, he picks up his rifle, and they go out to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they come upon a chilling sight - the mother-in-law is backed up against a rock with a fierce lion facing her. 'Oh no', cries the wife. 'What are we going to do?' 'Nothing.' says the husband. 'That lion got himself into this mess.He can get himself out of it.


A man is playing golf with his mother-in-law when she slices the ball into a field with a cow in it. They climb the fence and start looking for the ball. They search everywhere but can't find it. Eventually the man realises that the one place they haven't looked is by the cow. He goes over, pokes around, then sees something sticking in the cow's backside. He lifts up the cow's tail, sees a ball lodged in the hole, and shouts over to his mother-in-law. 'Hey! Does this look like yours?'

A man receives a letter informing him about the death of his mother-in-law. I also asks him whether she should be buried or cremated. The man writes back. 'Take no chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes'

[ms.peachy]

(y) lol cheers paul

I suppose a m-i-l who takes no real interest in our lives is preferrable to one who tries to run every aspect of it, but honestly it makes me feel quite badly for mr.p, because I know that as much as he plays it off, it really bothers him.

[miss_bhaven]

Sad :(

[voltanapricot]

She sounds like my nan, my dad's mum. In fact, she sounds like a lot of nans on the dad's side.

Why are the mother-in-law's always so funny on that side? The mind boggles.

[TAL]

A m-i-l is just one letter away from being a m-i-l-f.

[ms.peachy]

A m-i-l is just one letter away from being a m-i-l-f.
yeah well she could probably use a good bit of that, might improve her disposition a little.

[CrankItUp!]

ms. peachy,

Sounds like m-i-l isn't just tight as a fleas ass but maybe an old pain in the ass as well to get along with too.

[ms.peachy]

Well, it's not that she's particularly hard to get along with. Largely I suppose because she so largely absent from our lives. She and I get on fine when we are actually around eachother, but that isn't very often.

I feel badly for her sometimes because she just seems like someone who doesn't really enjoy her life very much. She doesn't seem to be able to take pride in her children's achievements, or enjoy being around her grandkids. To be honest, she just doesn't like kids; I don't think she expected to ever have any really - mr.p was her first born, and was born when she was 36 - which is not so odd now but in the early 1960's, that was pretty unusual. And, he was born 7 months after his parents got married, what does that tell you?

[yeahwho]

I don't think she expected to ever have any really - mr.p was her first born, and was born when she was 36 - which is not so odd now but in the early 1960's, that was pretty unusual. And, he was born 7 months after his parents got married, what does that tell you?

The older you get the shorter the third trimester?

What's my prize? :)

[Kid Presentable]

I can only recommend a sound shooting in the head. :)

[Rich Cheney]

Respect your elders, they're senile.

[Kid Presentable]

Respect your elders, they're senile.

I eat old people.

[Medellia]

I eat old people.
Yum.

*barf*


Poor Mr. Peachy. :(

[mickill]

As a child, I was always pretty confused as to why it was so common for a lot of the male characters on various tv shows and cartoons to dislike their mother-in-laws. I just thought it was kinda odd. And when I got older, I figured it was just a cliche that had kinda become more and more exaggerated over time, the same way that blondes are often portrayed as mindless eye candy or whatever.

My first girlfriend's mom was actually pretty nice. I mean, she was practically a saint. I didn't see how she would ever be a problem, if say she did end up being my m-i-l one day. Then, throughout the years, the moms of my various girlfiends sort of just kept getting more and more irritating. I think you know where I'm going with this. Seriously, my mother-in-law is, without a doubt, probably one of the most irritating people I've ever known. Ever. I mean, I don't particularly dislike her, but she does drive me nuts. And I'll admit, there have been times where I've honestly wanted to run her over with my car. I mean, I seriously just want to strangle her from time to time. However, despite all of her various faults, no matter how angry I get with her, no matter how inconsiderate and burdensome she can be, no matter how much I dread the countless headaches I have yet to suffer at the hands of this woman, I still.......think......she.....I forget where I was going with this.

[TurdBerglar]

this "m-i-l" shit has to stop

[mickill]

Hey, I only said it once and spelled it out the other two times.

[Documad]

How old is she? My mom gets really lonely and would do anything to see her boys, but she wouldn't travel. I thought it was because she didn't want to leave her dog, but she still wouldn't travel after the dog died. She later admitted that she was worried about flying alone, sleeping in a strange place, and whether she could poop if she left her usual routine. Old people are strange.

[TurdBerglar]

old poeple need to be fuckn' launched off a cliff

[Lindsey_1535]

I hate old people/ end of story.

[miss_bhaven]

I hate old people/ end of story.

I don't hate them, but they do annoy the shit out of me pretty fairly....especially when they start going on about how it was all different 'back in my day...' and they go on for hours! They need to realise that time's changed and to accept it or shuddup :D

[ms.peachy]

I don't think she's like this because she's old. I think she's like this because she's like this. Just a very emotionally distant person.

[TonsOfFun]

I know this sounds awful, but it's not supposed to. But I'm happier now there is now hardly any old people who have a go at you for being young and not fighting in World War II. You couldn't sit on a bus without being told that they fought for that seat you are sitting on in the war. If you went about thanking every old person you see on the street they'd still have a go at you.

Now old people are ok cus they didn't fight in a any war and probably had some of the best era's to grow up in, while the current era is full of (more) evil people in charge of the free world and thus things are slipping. So does that give us the right to say "we have to live through this ever increasing currupt world, now have some respect bitches"