DandyFop
11-07-2005, 03:56 PM
I found this on some site:
there IS a David Cross imposter in NYC. I know it sounds bizarre, but it's true. He hangs out in downtown bars and accepts drinks from people who think he is Cross. He has taken many women home who think they are sleeping with David Cross. They either find out afterwards or never that they didn't have a night of passion with the famous and brilliant balding guy, but with the creepy mootch who found he could get away with murder.
When I twice called him on his outrageous behavior at Corner Bistro (where a huge group of college kids were flipping out becuase they were around a celeb), his attitude was, "If they don't know, why should I tell them?"
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So, David wrote a letter to the website that put this info up, I guess -
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Hi,
David Cross here. So, about this Imposter guy running around trying to get free drinks and get laid by saying he’s me - There is a simple way to identify him/me. And first of all how fucking creepy is this? What a double douchebag! As well as possibly a potentially dangerous person. Anyway, up until last friday night I was in a 3 and a half year long relationship with my girlfriend whom I was very much in love with [Ed: Whoa — talk about burying the lede!] and wouldn’t have gone home with anybody much less taken them back to “my place” (I just got dumped, so ironically I am now single and this guy is really encroaching on me).
But here’s how you can instantly tell whether or not it’s me - ask to see my tattoo. It’s on my right arm/shoulder and it’s an intricate depiction of a Max Fleisher-esque smiling pig standing upright and serving you his own ribs straight from his open chest (because let’s be honest, I love bar-b-que). There is a pool of blood and entrails by his feet and in a bit of pure tattoo genius, the pig has his own tattoo of the Kosher “k” in a yellow star on his shoulder. If this guy won’t show that to you or he doesn’t have that tattoo, call him on his shit and humiliate him in front of everybody.
This whole thing really pisses me off and I am truly very sorry if anything untoward or worse, unfunny, was done in my name. I will try to make it up to you if I can (hint, hint ladies). Sorry, that last thing was a crude and tasteless example of something this guy might say. As the guy on Hill Street Blues used to say before everyone went off on that day’s assignments; “Let’s be careful out there”.
Thanks for your time,
David Cross (the real one with the tattoo)
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This is fucking hilarious. And creepy. I mean, I love David but that doesn't mean I'd jump in bed with him. hahaha. I bet that guy's never gotten laid before.
there IS a David Cross imposter in NYC. I know it sounds bizarre, but it's true. He hangs out in downtown bars and accepts drinks from people who think he is Cross. He has taken many women home who think they are sleeping with David Cross. They either find out afterwards or never that they didn't have a night of passion with the famous and brilliant balding guy, but with the creepy mootch who found he could get away with murder.
When I twice called him on his outrageous behavior at Corner Bistro (where a huge group of college kids were flipping out becuase they were around a celeb), his attitude was, "If they don't know, why should I tell them?"
--------------------------
So, David wrote a letter to the website that put this info up, I guess -
--------------------------
Hi,
David Cross here. So, about this Imposter guy running around trying to get free drinks and get laid by saying he’s me - There is a simple way to identify him/me. And first of all how fucking creepy is this? What a double douchebag! As well as possibly a potentially dangerous person. Anyway, up until last friday night I was in a 3 and a half year long relationship with my girlfriend whom I was very much in love with [Ed: Whoa — talk about burying the lede!] and wouldn’t have gone home with anybody much less taken them back to “my place” (I just got dumped, so ironically I am now single and this guy is really encroaching on me).
But here’s how you can instantly tell whether or not it’s me - ask to see my tattoo. It’s on my right arm/shoulder and it’s an intricate depiction of a Max Fleisher-esque smiling pig standing upright and serving you his own ribs straight from his open chest (because let’s be honest, I love bar-b-que). There is a pool of blood and entrails by his feet and in a bit of pure tattoo genius, the pig has his own tattoo of the Kosher “k” in a yellow star on his shoulder. If this guy won’t show that to you or he doesn’t have that tattoo, call him on his shit and humiliate him in front of everybody.
This whole thing really pisses me off and I am truly very sorry if anything untoward or worse, unfunny, was done in my name. I will try to make it up to you if I can (hint, hint ladies). Sorry, that last thing was a crude and tasteless example of something this guy might say. As the guy on Hill Street Blues used to say before everyone went off on that day’s assignments; “Let’s be careful out there”.
Thanks for your time,
David Cross (the real one with the tattoo)
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This is fucking hilarious. And creepy. I mean, I love David but that doesn't mean I'd jump in bed with him. hahaha. I bet that guy's never gotten laid before.