breaking up with someone to date someone else? [Archive]

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Sarky Devotchka

11-12-2005, 04:40 PM

I know this happens, but I haven't really seen it in action since I was in high school. has anyone done this, or been the person they broke up for?

you don't have to read the following, you can just answer the above.

anyway, so this dude I like, the 31 year old, he may or may not have a girlfriend. I went to see his band play on thursday and it was only the third time I've ever talked to him. When he came in the bar and noticed I was there, he came straight over and shook my hand and said, "hey, how are you? thanks for coming" and gave me one of the posters he had made and said he'd talk to me later. he was busy on stage and at the merch table for most of the time, but cort said that he was looking at me a lot. I noticed one girl making eyes at him and basically drooling over him, but it was in I-wish-he-was-my-boy way, not a that's-my-boyfriend way.

I went over to him later and he was selling the posters, but said I could have as many as I wanted for free. We chat chat chatted and it turned out he had a flight to catch to san diego the next morning and couldn't hang out for long. we parted ways and then came around this pole and almost bumped into eachother and I blurted out, "hey, are you married?!" and he said, "ha ha, no, nothing like that" and then we awkwardly parted again. gah! still no confirmation.

after that I was all pissed because people were leaving and obviously going home and I was hoping for a party and more time to hang out with that kid. so, me and cort and a friend were just standing there with our coats on waiting to see if he'd come up to me, and cort was like, "just go over there and say goodbye, ask for his number or something". I said, "no! I'm not a groupie, pfft". Right after that, he came walking toward me with an amp on his way out the door and stepped towards me like he was going to tell me a secret and said, "bye k, good to see you, talk to you soon".

which is fine and well, but HE DOESN'T HAVE MY NUMBER, nor do I have his.
anyway, it turns out magically that he lives in my friend's building in the apartment above her, which is totally weird, what are the odds? when she got home, she saw him bringing in equipment and called me. she thinks he may have a girlfriend. I think that if he does, he shouldn't, because I'd like to put my mouth on his mouth. heh.

ms.peachy

11-12-2005, 05:15 PM

I'm not sure what the problem is.

You should have given him your number, if you wanted him to have it.

Instead, you've played your hand as "no, I want him to have to ask for it." And unfortunately, he hasn't. So now you have to play 20 questions with yourself. Does he like, me, does he think I'm cute, does he have a girlfriend already, is that why he hasn't asked, maybe I was giving off weird signals, blah blah blah.

So, now, you play the waiting game. Maybe he has more than one girlfriend, who knows. You might have to decide if you can live with that.

fucktopgirl

11-12-2005, 05:24 PM

next time you see him!
you just ask him is phone number
,straigh forward is the way to go!
after that ,
if you talk to him,you gonna find out what is the deal(girlfriend or not)

QueenAdrock

11-12-2005, 05:44 PM

Well if he does have a girlfriend and breaks up with her to be with you, I'd say be very careful. Most women don't make the obvious connection that if he's cheated on a girlfriend to be with you, or broken up with a girl to be with you, he may do just the same thing to you.

Lex Diamonds

11-13-2005, 08:43 AM

Recently I rejected a girl cos I liked someone else and then this someone else liked someone else who liked the girl who originally liked me and so everyone got rejected in a big circle because they wanted other people.

Ace42X

11-13-2005, 08:50 AM

Sarky Devotchka

11-13-2005, 11:03 AM

well, I didn't ask him for his number because I'm chicken and I didn't want to take it into romantic territory so quickly. however...

*drum roll*

he has a girlfriend. But, according to a mutual friend, he likes me a LOT. and he's been asking about me for awhile. Apparently he's been thinking about breaking up with his girlfriend. the mutual friend said she's bringing him down and said he thinks it'd be better if I was his girlfriend instead and asked me if I was a controlling girlfriend and I was like, "no, not really, but hey, wait, this is a lot of pressure".

like, whoa, so, he's gonna break up with his girl and then we're automatically dating? that's crazy.

anyway, it'll probably get back to him that I like him, so I guess I just have to wait and see? this is totally shitty. but also sort of awesome.
:o

monkey

11-13-2005, 02:28 PM

your world seems very different than any other world ive ever encountered. it seems all so terribly... juvenile. but the stories are entertaining, in that degrassi kind of way.

iceygirl

11-13-2005, 06:17 PM

CrankItUp!

11-13-2005, 06:29 PM

Stalk him out - guys love that shit, especially ones in a band. :cool:

Sarky Devotchka

11-13-2005, 06:36 PM

your world seems very different than any other world ive ever encountered. it seems all so terribly... juvenile. but the stories are entertaining, in that degrassi kind of way.

ah well, I suppose sensationalizing my petty dramas on the internet isn't as fun as it used to be. I ultimately know the truth to these situations, I'm not a retard, it's just interesting to get opinions from people who've had different life experiences than me. Just trying to make easier my way through the quagmire that is human interaction.

way to go on the passive aggressive condescension though, you really put me in my place.

p.s. you can eat it.

DipDipDive

11-13-2005, 06:38 PM

ah well, I suppose sensationalizing my petty dramas on the internet isn't as fun as it used to be. I ultimately know the truth to these situations, I'm not a retard, it's just interesting to get opinions from people who've had different life experiences than me. Just trying to make easier my way through the quagmire that is human interaction.

way to go on the passive aggressive condescension though, you really put me in my place.

p.s. you can eat it.

That ruled.

P.S.
Don't look at the whole thing about him having a girlfriend as a pressure on the situation should the two of you eventually start dating. He probably lost interest in her a long time ago and meeting you has given him a good reason to finally get out of the relationship. I don't think that makes him a creep or a cheater or someone you should "be careful" with, either.

Sarky Devotchka

11-13-2005, 07:18 PM

why thank ye ddd.

yeah, it's not like he's been coming on to me or anything, we've just been talking. he's not being all creepy skeevy cheater guy, we just hit it off immediately as friends. I didn't catch myself saying things to mirror his interests like I do sometimes when I want a boy to like me (worst example of this is when I was 18 and inexplicably pretended to like ICP because this kid was really into them). we just seem to be on the same wavelength and he's confident and friendly without being cocky, and does silly almost rude things like smearing pumpkin dip from our party snack table all over my cat-shaped chia pet to make it match a picture of a furry orange cat we have in the kitchen.

I'm not gonna get my hopes up like I usually do, but gee golly it sure would be nice if things could work out.

Sarky Devotchka

11-13-2005, 08:52 PM

eesh, I just accidentally found the girlfriend on myspace when I was looking at his band's page where she made a comment and she has photo booth pictures up of them kissing and goofing around. She seems like she's totally in love with him.

I feel kind of bad now. also, she was at the show! good lord. I think she was the girl who was drooling over him. crap. I hope she didn't see me staring or flirting. this sucks big time balls.

Tzar

11-13-2005, 08:55 PM

one of my sister's friends broke up with her boyfriend the day after my sister's bday party. thing is; me and that chick hooked up and she likes me now. :confused: apparently she fell for me the second she saw me. and later on that night i ended up flirty and getting touchy with another chick that has a boyfriend, hahaha, then the chick got all upset and stuff.

yeah...

cosmo105

11-14-2005, 01:03 AM

eeee. 'tis a sticky situation indeed.

i've been on the other side of that...breaking up with someone, after a very long, serious relationship. but the relationship was terrible. it was really, really dragging me down. and it had been over months before i met the other guy. it took me meeting someone that really made me happy and feel good about myself (talk about after-school special) to realize just how miserable i had been. i broke it off completely and thoroughly before going ahead with the new guy, and it took a long time to get through all the b.s. and drama that came with the breakup. luckily the new guy stuck around, and we're still happy today and shit :)

so anyway...i'd say keep your distance for a while until things get settled with the situation. don't get involved in any of the messy business that might come from it. if he wants to go for you, he will - but be positive there's no attachment to the other chick anymore. like ddd said, it's not necessarily true that he's a "cheater" or a jerk in any way, but if he's leading either of you two on, that's a bad sign. but you knew that already.

ms.peachy

11-14-2005, 03:18 AM

i dunno. It's hard for me to buy that whole "well really it's been over for a while, he just hasn't broken it off yet" thing. Because to me that reads, "well he hasn't really cared much about her for a while, but it's been really convenient having someone around who will make him food and bring him beer and do his laundry and suck his dick."

beastieangel01

11-14-2005, 04:21 AM

"well he hasn't really cared much about her for a while, but it's been really convenient having someone around who will make him food and bring him beer and do his laundry and suck his dick."

exactly. That and/or low self-esteem/can't let go/etc.

I should know. Except, not because I wanted my dick sucked, since I lack one of those. But anyway,...

I say if you just want some then whatever, do what you wish if you are the kind that won't be bothered by his situation. If you will be bothered by it, stay away.

Sarky Devotchka

11-14-2005, 09:55 AM

I'm not going to do anything with him while he's dating her, I'm not that kind of girl. anymore. anyway, I have people for that.

also, if you're in a relationship and it starts to feel like it's not working, it's hard to let go right away because you're not sure if it'll get better or if you should work through it or just move on. it took me like a month to end my last relationship. and even though I was the one who was the dumper, it still took me like 6 months to get over it and figure out that it wasn't meant to be.

anyway, it's useless to speculate. it could be just that he likes me because I party hard and I'm friends with guys he knows and really likes. and also because I rule. but if he's got love for the other girl...then he should stay with her.

boo hoo for me, once again.

cosmo105

11-14-2005, 11:42 AM

hahaha. your avatar rules.

Echewta

11-14-2005, 11:43 AM

Boom'n bailed on me to hook up with some tramp. I'm so glad he's happy. Jerk.

miss soul fire

11-14-2005, 12:55 PM

she thinks he may have a girlfriend. I think that if he does, he shouldn't, because I'd like to put my mouth on his mouth. heh.Hihihih. That was very cute.:D

That's a good story, I hope it has a happy ending.:)

miss soul fire

11-14-2005, 12:57 PM

Sarky Devotchka

11-15-2005, 10:56 AM

oh, msf, it's okay, thanks. :)

paul jones

11-15-2005, 11:31 AM

Sarky Devotchka

beats TV (y)