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View Full Version : Could you go back to a restaurant after doing this???


DandyFop
11-22-2005, 12:23 AM
I should write this story down before I forget any of it.

A girl at work told me this today because the woman whom this story involves came into the restaurant to eat. I can't imagine that she could ever possibly return after what happened, but whatever.

So there's a table of 8 old ladies eating lunch. And I mean old, as in, oxygen tanks and walkers. Rachel, the girl who told me, is about to leave. She's clocked out, she's wearing a jacket, ready to go. Some lady comes up to her and says something like "Um I think someone needs help in the bathroom".

So Rachel goes in there and in the first stall the woman is saying "help!". She says "Can I help you?" and the lady says "I can't get up". Mind you, Rachel is pretty skinny and this woman wasn't huge, but was definetly not a light little old grandma. So the old lady opens the stall door and Rachel has to grab her with one hand while bracing herself on the stall with the other. She helps the lady up, who was luckily wearing a long shirt so Rachel couldn't see anything. She's got her pants and underwear around her ankles and apparently keeps saying " I need to pull my bloomers up". So she's holding Rachel's hand and trying to do that at the same time.

They finally get all set, and the lady asks Rachel to help her to her table. Rachel obliges, and whilst having her arm in a death grip, escorts the woman to her table.

Rachel then realizes she has to go back and flush the toilet since that never happened. She goes in ....and the lady squirted everywhere. All over the seat, the floor (btw, this is the first stall in the ladies bathroom in case any of you ever visit me there). Rachel kicks to flush it and takes off because, as she says, "this is not in my job description".

Later on, she talked to someone else and found out that wasn't half of the story. The woman, while at her table, lost control of her bowel movements and proceeded to have shit flow from her ass to the floor surrounding her. She then put a cloth napkin over the puddle and moved it around with her cane. She was sitting there, poking at one of our cloth napkins, with her cane, attempting to mop up her own shit.

The manager Ryan has to come out, with gloves, bleach, the works, and clean it up, while all the little old ladies say NOTHING, as if this is something that happens every single day. PLUS, the health inspector was there just minutes before this woman came in.

HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU RETURN TO A RESTAURANT AFTER DOING THAT?????

Schmeltz
11-22-2005, 12:38 AM
Well, if you can return to a restaurant after handing out blowjobs in the lounge, and sex in the staff bathroom, as occurred one New Year's at the restaurant where I work, I imagine you could return after shitting yourself.

jabumbo
11-22-2005, 12:40 AM
pretty nasty there, duke


but really, are any of us really going to visit you in utah? get real, man.

DandyFop
11-22-2005, 12:42 AM
Hah, oh yeah...I forgot to change that part about the stall. I posted it on my LJ too where my REAL FRIENDS read it.

DandyFop
11-22-2005, 12:53 AM
If I was at that point, I'd fucking jump off a cliff.

Knuckles
11-22-2005, 12:55 AM
This is why Dr. Kevorkian shouldn't be in jail.

DandyFop
11-22-2005, 12:58 AM
Another funny part of the story was that their husbands were at another table because they were letting the women have their "girl's day" or whatever.

If I lose all control of my bowels, girls day is fucking over.

Loppfessor
11-22-2005, 01:52 AM
HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU RETURN TO A RESTAURANT AFTER DOING THAT?????


Actually after a few times you get used to it...

monkey
11-22-2005, 06:06 AM
DEPENDS! someone needs to buy the lady some diapers.

TonsOfFun
11-22-2005, 06:11 AM
Now that is funny!

I feel sorry for those involved but you've gotta laugh! :D

paul jones
11-22-2005, 06:26 AM
Now that is funny!

I feel sorry for those involved but you've gotta laugh! :D
yes

Freebasser
11-22-2005, 07:18 AM
If I was at that point, I'd fucking jump off a cliff.

So you're going to jump off a cliff when you get so old that you don't even have the energy to lift yourself up off the floor.

How, pray tell?

yeahwho
11-22-2005, 07:23 AM
If I lose all control of my bowels, girls day is fucking over.

Hear, Hear!

That statement is definately one of the Top 10 funniest things ever said on the BBMB.

wanton wench
11-22-2005, 09:52 AM
If I lose all control of my bowels, girls day is fucking over.
best line of the day! :D

fucktopgirl
11-22-2005, 10:12 AM
that is a nasty story!
poor people who have to clean the mess! :D

beastieangel01
11-22-2005, 10:34 AM
gross. If I had that much of a problem with my bowel movements, I'd make sure to stay in or BE PREPARED!

ew ew ew.

Monkertrol
11-22-2005, 02:49 PM
hahaha this is disturbing, but ive seen similar things... hahaha some people are crazy dumb

kleptomaniac
11-22-2005, 02:53 PM
jesus christ, i wuz EATING!

nasty! :eek:

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 02:59 PM
that's the great thing about being senile...she probably doesn't even remember it happened....

or

she's shit her pants so many times she doesn't care anymore....though depends would be a nice courtesy for everyone else who has to be around her.


One time when I was working at the Asain Art Museum at a formal dinner and i was in the ladies room. This poor old woman in a beautiful sari couldn't control her bladder and peed all over. she couldn't walk very fast and a family member was trying to help her get there but she couldn't hold it. I guess she had started to dribble on the cushion at the dinner table too. :( the poor woman was sooo upset and embarased and about to cry big old lady tears. I felt terrible. I couldn't even say anything to her to tell her it was ok because i don't speak Punjab and she didn't speak english. the best I could do was decretely go get the janitor. God that was sad. :( :(

jackrock
11-22-2005, 04:14 PM
that is SOOOO WRONG! but pretty funny :D


this reminds me of a story my frind told me...

ok so my friends mom worked at an old folks home, helping elderly people you know, get in and outta the tub, eat, etc.

so one day she walks into an old mans room, and is stunned to see crap spread allll over the walls. everywhere. the windows, curtains etc.

they figure that the guy thought someone was trying to get inside of his room, so he used it as a defence mechanism (pretty sweet eh?)

so it was her job to clean it all up YAY! :eek: :D (n)

can you say... OWNED!!?

yeahwho
11-22-2005, 04:20 PM
Another funny part of the story was that their husbands were at another table because they were letting the women have their "girl's day" or whatever.

If I lose all control of my bowels, girls day is fucking over.

So I guess this ladie's husband is sitting across the way with the dudes at the other table while all this is going on. What's he thinking? Is he saying, "Hey fellows, check it out, see that babe with the brown puddle under her chair there, that's my baby, Top That!"

All the other husband's just got pwn'd.