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View Full Version : $75,0000 is mine....


cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 05:32 PM
if I wanna kill my boyfriend and make it look like an accident. :eek: And um...I'm reasonably attractive so I probably wouldn't have to serve time in real jail if I got caught. :p









I'm kidding. I would NEVER even consider hurting him let alone kill him. I luv him and I'd be lonely cause money can't replace him. But he made me a beneficiary on his life insurance and that's a relationship first for me. I feel priveldged that he trusts me not to accidentally dismember him. heee hee. ;)

synch
11-22-2005, 05:36 PM
Did you add a 0 too many or did you misplace the comma? :)

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 05:40 PM
i wanted to confuse you all....no, I got a little zero happy. I mean once you start it's hard to stop. $100000000000000000000000000000000.00 see?

synch
11-22-2005, 05:40 PM
I see. Still a nice sum!

So how are we going to get rid of him?

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 05:45 PM
well he does like to fish...... hey wait a minute! there's no we here! :mad: What kinda feme fatale would I be with a male accomplice?

synch
11-22-2005, 05:48 PM
If it's any comfort, I'm taken and need the money to spend time with my girl.

It would all be less femme-fatale'ish if the accompliceness was purely platonic, right?

But let's not dwell. Fish you say...

I'd suggest hooking him up (pun kinda intended) with some blowfish but it's such a cliche.

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 05:53 PM
hahahaha. blowfish is cliche' and a bit too exotic.
I just meant he spends alot of time on boats, which might be part of the reason he thought he should get life insurance.


I don't have life insurance at all (unless my parents took out a policy on me that I'm not aware of) so If I died I'd be worth nothing. :( how depressing.

funerals are so damn expensive that I'm sure of most of the life insurance $ would go towards that and paying off any debts he might have. So ya know, I guess I'll let him live...muhahahahahahahaha! ;)

synch
11-22-2005, 05:56 PM
I don't have life insurance at all (unless my parents took out a policy on me that I'm not aware of) so If I died I'd be worth nothing. :( how depressing.Two words. Kidneys. E-bay.

funerals are so damn expensive that I'm sure of most of the life insurance $ would go towards that and paying off any debts he might have. So ya know, I guess I'll let him live...muhahahahahahahaha! ;)
Can't we just pretend then? :(

kll
11-22-2005, 05:59 PM
now we all know that your boyfriend makes $10,000 /year.

i mean, $7500/year

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:00 PM
well of course, this thread is allll about pretending. ;)

synch
11-22-2005, 06:02 PM
*nudge* *nudge* *wink*

So ehm, hypothetically...

How are we going to snuff him then?

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:05 PM
now we all know that your boyfriend makes $10,000 /year.

yeah the board and about a million advertisers and credit card companies and every other company using spyware. oh well.

he ain't rich, but he's my baby.

paul jones
11-22-2005, 06:07 PM
I thought you had won all that money and was gonna treat us all to a feast at Burger King!

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:08 PM
*nudge* *nudge* *wink*

So ehm, hypothetically...

How are we going to snuff him then?


well it's so boring really...you just get um drunk and push em off the boat.

synch
11-22-2005, 06:08 PM
Hey! Focus here. None of that "baby" stuff.

Ok, get this.

Attacked by wild trouts during a freak boating accident.

Eh? Eh?

Catchy isn't it.

synch
11-22-2005, 06:09 PM
well it's so boring really...you just get um drunk and push em off the boat.
I thought we could use a bit more immagination :(

Ooooh, I know... ninjas! HIDDEN ON THE BOAT!

paul jones
11-22-2005, 06:09 PM
imagine all the double bacon cheesburgers you could buy with that money

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:10 PM
I thought you had won all that money and was gonna treat us all to a feast at Burger King!

one day Paul, one day I will! just you wait.


life insurance is kinda lame cause ya can't really put a value on someone's life. just thier monetary life. and all of us are worth more than our monetary life.

kll
11-22-2005, 06:11 PM
jesus christ, paul... you could've picked something other than BURGER KING... gross.

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:15 PM
I thought we could use a bit more immagination :(

Ooooh, I know... ninjas! HIDDEN ON THE BOAT!


how is that an accident though? ninja's don't accidently get on a bass boat. where would they hide, in the live well? no no no....


take him fishin g in south america for rainbow bass and perhaps we'd pass through paranha infested waters and you know he might slip. could happen. And there'd be a vacation involved so yeah know at least things would end on a good note.


:(

paul jones
11-22-2005, 06:15 PM
jesus christ, paul... you could've picked something other than BURGER KING... gross.


umm ok, pizzas


imagine, you could go to a pizza place and order a pizza the size of a big table (y)

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:16 PM
jesus christ, paul... you could've picked something other than BURGER KING... gross.

I don't know that onion ring sauce they have is pretty priceless

synch
11-22-2005, 06:16 PM
how is that an accident though? ninja's don't accidently get on a bass boat. where would they hide, in the live well? no no no....


take him fishin g in south america for rainbow bass and perhaps we'd pass through paranha infested waters and you know he might slip. could happen. And there'd be a vacation involved so yeah know at least things would end on a good note.


:(
Pah, I can sense you aren't fully committed to this.

Ah well, I guess we can let him live.

For now.

paul jones
11-22-2005, 06:20 PM
it'd be funny if you were on a boat and couldn't be bothered to fish for some sharks and then a Burger King boat sailed by.

I've probably given a money - spinning idea away now

I bet someone from McDonalds reads this too


the dunkin donuts ship would look funny bobbin about on the sea

synch
11-22-2005, 06:21 PM
Float in restaurants!

kll
11-22-2005, 06:22 PM
I don't know that onion ring sauce they have is pretty priceless

i had no idea...

paul jones
11-22-2005, 06:23 PM
i had no idea...


yeah and double bacon cheesburgers are better than anything when you're really starving (y)

kll
11-22-2005, 06:26 PM
yeah and double bacon cheesburgers are better than anything when you're really starving (y)
i was 15 when i ate my last Burger King burger... that was like 40 years ago. i bit into it and the strings that hold the frozen patties together were cooked into the burger. i am gagging as i type - just thinking about it. fuckin' gross. i'll take the onion rings though.

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:31 PM
hahaha. oh lord.

this is my worst thread ever. :o

monkey
11-22-2005, 06:40 PM
haha... i tried to convince my dad to get himself some life insurance. i was telling him how for a low low sum, when he died, we would get a lovely check. so he says:

i get to pay a monthly fee so that when i die, you get my money?

i say: yea... but it's money for your funeral. and your GRANDCHILDREN.

he says: what if i just save some money for my casket and continue getting drained by you on daily basis? seems about the same.

i say: you suck.

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:42 PM
pauli- your dad sounds like a smart guy. ;)

p.s. I'm sorry for all the inheritance you aren't going to get.

synch
11-22-2005, 06:44 PM
On the upside, you've got implied daily drainage!

If you ask him for money and he gets stingy you can refer him to that conversation.

kleptomaniac
11-22-2005, 06:48 PM
if you go through with that, this thread will be used as evidence against you! (!)

(i watch a lot of law and order... :rolleyes: )

monkey
11-22-2005, 06:48 PM
my parents have struck a deal with us when we were little... they pay for all our shit until we start making moneys, at which point we switch. i have about 8 more years before i gotta start sending checks to the parentals.

synch
11-22-2005, 06:50 PM
if you go through with that, this thread will be used as evidence against you! (!)

(i watch a lot of law and order... :rolleyes: )
I thought of that.

That's why I mentioned the word "hypothetically".

Ha!

Plus my alibi is pretty damn solid, I'm on a different continent. And my Swiss bank account can't be traced. Muahahahaha.

cookiepuss
11-22-2005, 06:54 PM
if you go through with that, this thread will be used as evidence against you! (!)

(i watch a lot of law and order... :rolleyes: )


yes, yes i know. all in all, this thread is in poor taste.


look, I don't even have a boyfriend ok! or do I? you can't prove anything! :p

paul jones
11-22-2005, 07:04 PM
hahaha. oh lord.

this is my worst thread ever. :o

no,it's not that bad really (y)

kleptomaniac
11-22-2005, 07:05 PM
look, I don't even have a boyfriend ok! or do I? you can't prove anything! :p

you're right! who ARE you????!!!! (!) (!)


Plus my alibi is pretty damn solid, I'm on a different continent. And my Swiss bank account can't be traced. Muahahahaha.

rrrrriiiiiiggggghhhhhht.....:rolleyes:

synch
11-22-2005, 07:07 PM
Fine. I admit. It's an Austrian bank.

Austrian banks are nearly as dodgy as Swiss ones though!

guerillaGardner
11-23-2005, 04:30 PM
I'm paying a shitload in insurance so that my better half can live a life of ease and luxury when I cop it but she says that she would just end it all if I go so I keep offering to just cancel the insurance plans seeing as she won't need them. :D but for some reason she prefers that I dont :D

mp-seventythree
11-23-2005, 04:35 PM
Through my works pension, if I die in service then Jenn gets a payout of at least £200,000.

I'm surprised she hasn't killed me yet to be honest...