Magicians

[Nuzzolese]

I don't like magicians. I think they're smug and obnoxious at best, and creepy and oily at worst. Always with their secrets that only they know, always trying to surprise you and fool you like they're so much better than you are just because they know your card. I always feel spiteful. Why are they so insistent on tricking and fooling people? What kind of pathos drives that manic need to impress and amaze and get attention from everyone? It's so passive aggressive in my opinion. And why card tricks? Why are there so many card tricks? Birds and rabbits, rope and boxes with tartly dressed women, it's all very low class carnival-ish if you ask me. And I mean carnival in the traveling sense, when they enslaved people with actual deformities as "freaks" and the they were called carnies and lived in carts and the corseted midway women would seduce young local coeds or townies.

Does this world still exist? Are there still traveling gypsy shows? Maybe only in Eastern Europe? Am I latently anti-semetic and xenophobic for my unexplainable distaste for this kind of lifestyle?

Who here likes magic? I bet I don't like you and this is finally going to explain why. I always feel sort of sorry for kids who are really into magic and magic tricks. It's a healthy childhood fascination no worse than being into chemistry sets or detectives or snakes and lizards. The performance aspect of it seems sad, and the craftyness of the hand work seems shifty. Makes me nervous. Where are your hands?! Show me your hands!

[Freebasser]

My sister used to perform kiddy magic shows for me and my other sister with a little table put outside the doorway of her room. We were never allowed to so much as look in there.

Secretive indeed.

The bitch.

[Nuzzolese]

It's a good thing she doesn't still do it. You don't see many female magicians, probably because the male magicians haze them.

[Qdrop]

I don't like magicians. I think they're smug and obnoxious at best, and creepy and oily at worst. Always with their secrets that only they know, always trying to surprise you and fool you like they're so much better than you are just because they know your card. I always feel spiteful. Why are they so insistent on tricking and fooling people? What kind of pathos drives that manic need to impress and amaze and get attention from everyone? It's so passive aggressive in my opinion. And why card tricks? Why are there so many card tricks? Birds and rabbits, rope and boxes with tartly dressed women, it's all very low class carnival-ish if you ask me. And I mean carnival in the traveling sense, when they enslaved people with actual deformities as "freaks" and the they were called carnies and lived in carts and the corseted midway women would seduce young local coeds or townies.



^one of your best posts to date.

i agree.

yet....i still like magic.

[Kid Presentable]

In the same way the body involuntarily empties itself upon death, would a magicians body disappear if you hit him with a shovel?

[jabumbo]

i dont generally like magicians...

but i like certain card tricks



i would still much rather build a card house than do tricks though

[Echewta]

I really like that song "its magic, you know. etc."

If you've never been to the Magic Castle in Hollywood, you are truly missing out on something special.

http://www.magiccastle.com/

[Nuzzolese]

That's just the thing, A magician's body would just crumple like the sad shell of a person we all are. They're not special, they just pretend to be. Their entire careers are frivolous charades. I guess most of our careers are just that, but magicians are so flashy about it. I could understand delighting in magic tricks if, say, I was living during the great depression, and I was ten. Of course in that case a hoop and stick would also provide hours of entertainment.

Magicians are hustlers, traditionally and in any other sense. They do illusions and they distract you and take your money. Just think of guys on street corners with walnut shells.

[TurdBerglar]

i did this magicial class thing once dureing summer vacation when i was like 10. i think my parents just wanted me out of the house. assholes

[Nuzzolese]

I really like that song "its magic, you know. etc."

If you've never been to the Magic Castle in Hollywood, you are truly missing out on something special.

http://www.magiccastle.com/

I've never been and I doubt that would be my scene, but a friend of mine went and she (pre-op transexual) got to be one of those volunteers who goes up on stage. She was wearing her lucky green panties which got soaked in red wine that night but that didn't ruin their luckyness, they were later destroyed when her mom's dog ate them. So sad.

[jabumbo]

so nuzz, i must ask...


what were your thoughts on that guy who did those specials and revealed how all these magic tricks worked on TV?

[Nuzzolese]

so nuzz, i must ask...


what were your thoughts on that guy who did those specials and revealed how all these magic tricks worked on TV?

Who? That guy was a jerk. I may not like magic but shit, it's all those people have and they love it. Why destroy that for them? That guy is worse than the magicians.

[Kid Presentable]

That's just the thing, A magician's body would just crumple like the sad shell of a person we all are. They're not special, they just pretend to be. Their entire careers are frivolous charades. I guess most of our careers are just that, but magicians are so flashy about it. I could understand delighting in magic tricks if, say, I was living during the great depression, and I was ten. Of course in that case a hoop and stick would also provide hours of entertainment.

Magicians are hustlers, traditionally and in any other sense. They do illusions and they distract you and take your money. Just think of guys on street corners with walnut shells.

They try to seduce women with their trickery. Does that work?

[Qdrop]

That's just the thing, A magician's body would just crumple like the sad shell of a person we all are. They're not special, they just pretend to be. Their entire careers are frivolous charades. I guess most of our careers are just that, but magicians are so flashy about it. I could understand delighting in magic tricks if, say, I was living during the great depression, and I was ten. Of course in that case a hoop and stick would also provide hours of entertainment.

Magicians are hustlers, traditionally and in any other sense. They do illusions and they distract you and take your money. Just think of guys on street corners with walnut shells.

they are entertaining though...despite whatever motives or intentions drive them.

just once, i would love to see David Blane or any of those other street magicians get bumrushed by some bystanders live on camera (preferable by some drunk frat guys)....and his whole trick gets exposed. and everyone laughs...and the street magician starts crying..."it's highschool all over again!!!"

[Qdrop]

is this a bad time to mention that i learned how do that David Blane levitation trick?

i freaked some people out at a bar last month.

[Nuzzolese]

They try to seduce women with their trickery. Does that work?

They probably wear eyeliner and lots of velvet, or they want to, which is just as bad.

[jabumbo]

Who? That guy was a jerk. I may not like magic but shit, it's all those people have and they love it. Why destroy that for them? That guy is worse than the magicians.

the masked magician guy

he did a couple fox specials and reavealed the tricks a few years ago. at the end he took off his mask and was probably lynched by the entire magic community (even david copperfield)

[Kid Presentable]

They probably wear eyeliner and lots of velvet, or they want to, which is just as bad.

So all those capes and shit, no good?

[Kid Presentable]

is this a bad time to mention that i learned how do that David Blane levitation trick?

i freaked some people out at a bar last month.

Don't you stand on one leg and move the other one?

[Nuzzolese]

The only time a magic "trick" would be entertaining to me is if the magician told witty puns and jokes the whole time and didn't really do a trick so much as he just did something really smoothly like changed clothes or got himself out of a box in a way that isn't so much an illusion as it is just amazing.

[Qdrop]

Don't you stand on one leg and move the other one?

i can't tell you....it's magic.

[Nuzzolese]

So all those capes and shit, no good?

NO GOOD!

[Bob]

most people don't know this, but i'm well trained in magic. i've just recently become a level 3 summoner, i can now pull level 2 rabbits out of top hats, which gives me +1 charisma for 30 seconds

[Kid Presentable]

NO GOOD!

*takes off cape*

[Nuzzolese]

most people don't know this, but i'm well trained in magic. i've just recently become a level 3 summoner, i can now pull level 2 rabbits out of top hats, which gives me +1 charisma for 30 seconds

You must have rolled high in dexterity.

[Qdrop]

ya know...
i just knew this was gonna turn into a D&D/Magic the Gathering thread.

[Bob]

You must have rolled high in dexterity.

that's how i roll

or alternatively

that's how i role-play

[Nuzzolese]

They call themselves Magic Users, but really isn't that the same as a Magician? Or maybe Magicians have a state license, and the others are like "well no actually I can't perform that trick on you because I'm only a magic user right now"

[Kid Presentable]

Royal Assasin was better than Shivan Dragon. :)

[Echewta]

I've never been and I doubt that would be my scene, but a friend of mine went and she (pre-op transexual) got to be one of those volunteers who goes up on stage. She was wearing her lucky green panties which got soaked in red wine that night but that didn't ruin their luckyness, they were later destroyed when her mom's dog ate them. So sad.

Actually, it would be your scene. Its over and under the top hollywood. The food is good, the drinks are better, and most of the magic is so horrible, you can't help but laugh.
How did your preop get his/her panties soaked in red wine? Was that part of the trick? "I bet I can make your panties wet?" Dogs will eat anything. I'm assuming they came back out though.

[Bob]

They call themselves Magic Users, but really isn't that the same as a Magician? Or maybe Magicians have a state license, and the others are like "well no actually I can't perform that trick on you because I'm only a magic user right now"

i'm not sure of that myself. there's mages and wizards and warlocks and sorcerers and all that jazz and quite frankly i don't know what the difference is

[mickill]

My sister-in-law used to be a magician's assistant. The magician was this friend of their family's weirdo kid that always had kinda this creepy vibe to him. Anyway, he had doves and bunnies that he could make disappear and appear out of nowhere and could make flames with his hand etc. He could also apparently hypnotize people and make them do stupid things like laugh uncontrollably at nothing in particular. He almost put me under once, but I got scared and fought it at the last second when I noticed it working. He'd often put my sis-in-law under and everybody kinda always wondered if he'd taken advantage of her while they practiced in his room. I mean, magicians have needs too, I suppose. Anyway, yeah, he's been doing it for 5 or 6 years now and he's actually quite good and he makes lots of money now with his new assistant/girlfriend, but he's still sorta creepy.

Oh. He has a website (http://www.stevenbest.com/). I never knew that.

[Qdrop]

i'm not sure of that myself. there's mages and wizards and warlocks and sorcerers and all that jazz and quite frankly i don't know what the difference is

oh bullshit.

you have an "Illusionists, Witches, and Wizards Handbook" on your desk...next to your TimeLife Books "Unexplained Mysteries" volume set.

[Qdrop]

My sister-in-law used to be a magician's assistant. The magician was this friend of their family's weirdo kid that always had kinda this creepy vibe to him. Anyway, he had doves and bunnies that he could make disappear and appear out of nowhere and could make flames with his hand etc. He could also apparently hypnotize people and make them do stupid things like laugh uncontrollably at nothing in particular. He almost put me under once, but I got scared and fought it at the last second when I noticed it working. He'd often put my sis-in-law under and everybody kinda always wondered if he'd taken advantage of her while they practiced in his room. I mean, magicians have needs too, I suppose. Anyway, yeah, he's been doing it for 5 or 6 years now and he's actually quite good and he makes lots of money now with his new assistant/girlfriend, but he's still sorta creepy.

Oh. He has a website (http://www.stevenbest.com/). I never knew that.

you realize that Nuzz hates him, right?

[mickill]

you realize that Nuzz hates him, right?
That's cool by me. It's not like he's my best friend or something.

He hates David Blaine, himself. Thinks he's a hack. We'd be watching David levitate and he'd be all psssh. Supposedly he knows how to do it but I never saw him do it with my own eyes or anything. He claims it takes too much of his energy. I'm not kidding, that was his excuse for not doing it.

[Qdrop]

He hates David Blaine, himself. Thinks he's a hack. We'd be watching David levitate and he'd be all psssh. Supposedly he knows how to do it but I never saw him do it with my own eyes or anything. He claims it takes too much of his energy. I'm not kidding, that was his excuse for not doing it.

dude, even I can do that trick.
it's pretty easy to do....it's all a matter of positioning your feet out of the people view...
it's all over the internet if you want to see how it's done.

[Kid Presentable]

That's cool by me. It's not like he's my best friend or something.

He hates David Blaine, himself. Thinks he's a hack. We'd be watching David levitate and he'd be all psssh. Supposedly he knows how to do it but I never saw him do it with my own eyes or anything. He claims it takes too much of his energy. I'm not kidding, that was his excuse for not doing it.

I'll bet he can throw fire-balls.

[Qdrop]

I'll bet he can throw fire-balls.

what? you can't?

pussy.

[Kid Presentable]

what? you can't?

pussy.

Yo-Ga Flame!

[mickill]

Yes, he shot fireballs out of his ass. Only, he wouldn't prove it because he claimed it took too much of his energy.


Q, don't be a putz. David Blaine levitates like 2 feet off the ground. You probably couldn't lift more than 7 inches, tops.

[Qdrop]

Q, don't be a putz. David Blaine levitates like 2 feet off the ground. You probably couldn't lift more than 7 inches, tops.

he actually uses two differant tactics...one is this:

http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/7308/balducci.html

the other requires a crane and lots of clear line....

[Bob]

oh bullshit.

you have an "Illusionists, Witches, and Wizards Handbook" on your desk...next to your TimeLife Books "Unexplained Mysteries" volume set.

no :rolleyes:

i just play a lot of warcraft, that's all

[Nuzzolese]

I guess you know what nature's swiftness is. I like the sound of it but I'm unfamiliar.

[Nuzzolese]

My sister-in-law used to be a magician's assistant. The magician was this friend of their family's weirdo kid that always had kinda this creepy vibe to him. Anyway, he had doves and bunnies that he could make disappear and appear out of nowhere and could make flames with his hand etc. He could also apparently hypnotize people and make them do stupid things like laugh uncontrollably at nothing in particular. He almost put me under once, but I got scared and fought it at the last second when I noticed it working. He'd often put my sis-in-law under and everybody kinda always wondered if he'd taken advantage of her while they practiced in his room. I mean, magicians have needs too, I suppose. Anyway, yeah, he's been doing it for 5 or 6 years now and he's actually quite good and he makes lots of money now with his new assistant/girlfriend, but he's still sorta creepy.

Oh. He has a website (http://www.stevenbest.com/). I never knew that.

I wish I could look at his website but it must require some fancy technology like Flash or something. She was a magician's assistant? That's so tacky. That's almost like working at Hooters, isn't it? Still, I'd have done it a couple of times if I'd been offered the job. I do hate magicians but I think I'd enjoy assisting one, secretly despising him and the entire procedure. But I bet they interview assistants in depth and then demand that they sign some oath of magic secrecy, probably in invisible ink and everything. So this magician she assisted, he was the friend of the family's weirdo kid? Or he was the weirdo kid of the family's friends?

[Dr Deaf]

criss angel is the hokiest of the hokus pokus'ers. his illusions are weak. mostly he looks for an opportunity to take his shirt off.

[Qdrop]

criss angel is the hokiest of the hokus pokus'ers. his illusions are weak. mostly he looks for an opportunity to take his shirt off.

hahaa...that sounds like the definition of a "frat magician".

"hey baby...wanna see my shirt disapear?....want a beer?"

[mickill]

I wish I could look at his website but it must require some fancy technology like Flash or something. She was a magician's assistant? That's so tacky. That's almost like working at Hooters, isn't it? Still, I'd have done it a couple of times if I'd been offered the job. I do hate magicians but I think I'd enjoy assisting one, secretly despising him and the entire procedure. But I bet they interview assistants in depth and then demand that they sign some oath of magic secrecy, probably in invisible ink and everything. So this magician she assisted, he was the friend of the family's weirdo kid? Or he was the weirdo kid of the family's friends?
No, he was the weirdo kid of the slightly less weird mother who's friends with my mother-in-law. You think magicians are annoying with their unwillingness to share secrets with you? The assistants are equally reluctant to divulge any info. And they don't even do nothing but follow orders. Just one more reason for me to hate that smug little bitch.

[fucktopgirl]

anyway,blaine is a awsome illusionism.YOu know that trick with the card,that he make people choose one and then he trow them in a restaurant window,then,"the card"appeard inside the resto,i mean how the fuck he do that??illusion or not,,that pretty good.David blaine got something more then illusion,all is perfomance he do(standing in a ice cube,,,)the guy got something!

i remember being astonished by Copperfield cross of the wall of china,when i was 10 or somewthing like that.But he is tottaly a scam,with is hair full of dye!HE is pretty ugly!Anyway i believe more Blaine then copperfield,!

[Bob]

I guess you know what nature's swiftness is. I like the sound of it but I'm unfamiliar.

i think it's a fiber supplement

[Nuzzolese]

i think it's a fiber supplement

You must be taking wit's quickness.

(lame)

[Bob]

You must be taking wit's quickness.

(lame)

1 NUZZOLESE draws near!

FIGHT
>PUN
ITEM
ESCAPE

[DandyFop]

There's one magician that I do really like Nuzz.

You'll have to forgive me (http://homepage.mac.com/shorty247/.Pictures/blogpics/05/gob_buster.jpg)

[Bob]

There's one magician that I do really like Nuzz.

You'll have to forgive me (http://homepage.mac.com/shorty247/.Pictures/blogpics/05/gob_buster.jpg)

does the amazing jonathan count as a magician? he might be more of a prop comic, but i always thought he was pretty good.

[TAL]

Penn & Teller (y)

[paul jones]

Ali Bongo

he was fucking amazing

(y)

[kleptomaniac]

does the amazing jonathan count as a magician? he might be more of a prop comic, but i always thought he was pretty good.

Penn & Teller (y)


they're awesome!!! :eek: (y)

[CrankItUp!]

Harry Houdini was the greatest magician/escape artist of all time. (y)

[afronaut]

Penn & Teller (y)
yeah, what about penn and teller? they always tell you their magic secrets. i dont know if they're jewish or not though, sorry.

[Nuzzolese]

Harry Houdini was the greatest magician/escape artist of all time. (y)

But did he ever escape the childish mindset that carried his delusions of superiority fueled by the attention and awe of baffled onlookers?
I bet he was a terrible father and husband.

[Nuzzolese]

i dont know if they're jewish or not though, sorry.

You should find out. I'd like to know. Just for magician demographic information

[Bob]

But did he ever escape the childish mindset that carried his delusions of superiority fueled by the attention and awe of baffled onlookers?
I bet he was a terrible father and husband.

yeah but it's not like he couldn't escape his obligations

[Rawr]

one of my really close guy friend is a magican..
he showed me all his card tricks..i think there fun lol.

[TAL]

yeah, what about penn and teller? they always tell you their magic secrets.
That's what they want you to think. Easier to fool you that way.

[Nuzzolese]

Been watching America's Got Talent. Still don't like 'em. I think Regis should win.

[Bob]

yeah but it's not like he couldn't escape his obligations

god i'm funny