The effect of boyfriends

[QueenAdrock]

I always try to tell my friends that they can be happy and healthy beings without having boyfriends, and for the most part it's true. But it's strange how much of an effect boyfriends have on some people. I for one, have more motivation and try to be a high-achiever, whereas I wasn't as much when I was single. I think that's pretty normal.

Do any of you have those friends who have almost completely changed when they've had boyfriends? I've got one friend who became a jock (more into her swimming) when she was dating a wrestler, wore UFO's when she dated a DJ, and became an alcoholic when she dated an Irish fratboy. I've got another friend who was a serious, serious total and complete bitch (okay she wasn't really a friend as much as she just hung around us and wouldn't fuck off) who has become the nicest girl since she's dated her super-sweet boyfriend.

It's odd how much people can change, and I'm not sure if the "new them" is going to be the "regular them" or if they ever break up if they'll revert back to how they were. It would make an interesting study, I think.

[Kid Presentable]

Do you think it has more to do with all the honeymoon-stage sex? I mean, that shit puts a smile on anybody's face.

[Videodrome]

often when you become involved with someone a little bit of that person rubs off on you. at least thats the way it has always seemed to me. ive seen dudes do complete 360s for chicks. then when it is overwith they do a 180 back to who they once were.

[QueenAdrock]

But if they did 360s, they'd come full circle and be exactly how they are now.

And it probably is the sex. I've always said he pulled the pole outta her ass and slid it somewhere more appropriate.

[Videodrome]

yeah... guess your right about the 360 thing. *embarrassed*

[QueenAdrock]

It's okay. Math sucks anyways. :)

[insertnamehere]

i want a boyfriend to be sweet to me and give me cuddles and say nice things about me :(

[Documad]

One of my good friends has a new boyfriend who's a chef. So now my friend is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS about questioning the waiter before ordering food ("who makes the chocolate the chef used in the sauce on the dessert") and she's pretentious about wine even though I'm sure that with her being a smoker her palate can't be that sensitive. It bugs the shit out of me but she's sensitive about it. A different friend called her on it at lunch the other day and she denied it and got pissed. It would be kind of cute if she would just admit it.

I know that often gals are often molded by their boyfriend, but that shit should stop when you're 30+. It's too Barbara Hershey in Hannah and Her Sisters. :rolleyes:

[QueenAdrock]

That sounds a lot like a few of my friends who visited Napa Valley and went on a Wine Tour/Tasting thing and now all of the sudden they're connoisseurs. It's annoying when I go out to dinner with them. "Wow, you're wine's got legs. Look at those legs. Nice legs your wine has going." Yeah no one cares but you. Shaddap.

[Rancid_Beasties]

I dont think it goes the other way that much. Usually it seems to be the guy that influences the girl. In fact, the only effect it has on some guys is that they become, to put it bluntly and colloqiually, "pussy-whipped". Which is really just a softening, or a reduction in going out, drinking etc, not a whole personality change (unless going out and getting pissed is a key component of that persons nature).

[fucktopgirl]

bah,i think it happen in both directions"girl influenced boys and guys influences girls!

[QueenAdrock]

Nah, I think it's true. I've become a lot more crude and insensitive since I've been dating Wayne, as opposed to him becoming more sensitive and caring. I do like myself this way, though. I make a lot more guy friends when I can relate to them more.

Just as long as I don't compromise who I am. I understand girls who pick up some things from their boyfriends, that's natural when you're around someone for an extended amount of time. It's once they practically aren't the same person anymore is when it's lame.

[Documad]

I dont think it goes the other way that much. Usually it seems to be the guy that influences the girl. In fact, the only effect it has on some guys is that they become, to put it bluntly and colloqiually, "pussy-whipped". Which is really just a softening, or a reduction in going out, drinking etc, not a whole personality change (unless going out and getting pissed is a key component of that persons nature).
I've seen guy friends who improve with girlfriends (sometimes I didn't realize how unhappy they were and it's really just happiness that was the change). But then there are the women who reshape their boyfriends, like in The Shape of Things. :)

I've seen women who quit playing their own sports to cheer at their guy's soccer games. Sometimes the change is good though. One of my best friends married a guy who generally agrees with me and it's made her more on time to appointments for instance.

[Documad]

That sounds a lot like a few of my friends who visited Napa Valley and went on a Wine Tour/Tasting thing and now all of the sudden they're connoisseurs. It's annoying when I go out to dinner with them. "Wow, you're wine's got legs. Look at those legs. Nice legs your wine has going." Yeah no one cares but you. Shaddap.
My friend bought all new wine glasses, and not just a large one for red wine, or a flute for champagne, but they had to be some particular brand. On the other hand, we can now share a bottle of wine when we go out because she's drinking red wine instead of just Chardonnay with everything. :p

[QueenAdrock]

Bleh. It also sort of reminds me of all those people that were wine experts once Sideways came out last year.

I wonder if there's a polite way to call people out on their lameness.

[Schmeltz]

I don't know if people are really that influenced by their partners. If they were, then surely my roommate would have become a moody, withdrawn, squirrelly, hypersensitive bitch by now.

[Kid Presentable]

Some women become 'Cock-struck'. That's the flip of what rancid was sayin.

[monkey]

i become MORE of a home-body when im with the bf. i dont care much for going out. but im not much of a going out person to begin with.

[miss_bhaven]

I've been told that I've changed since I've been with my grrl :confused: hrmm... I guess I have in a way... but then it kinda cuts being told that :( Whereas with my mates, I've had a shitload of them completley change within weeks when they start going out with a diff. person... sux, but I can't do much about it...

[Rancid_Beasties]

Thats an interesting point, I wouldnt think that same sex relationships would be effected as much by this phenomenon. I mean unless the couple had completely different personalities, gendered differences arent going to come into play in changing someone.

[Documad]

My gay friends are definitely affected by their partners. One of my oldest friends had no taste in modern music until she met her super cool partner and now I can get her to come out to clubs with me. :)

Gay friends don't tend to disappear when they couple up like some straight couples though. I probably don't have enough experience to draw conclusions though.

[miss_bhaven]

Thats an interesting point, I wouldnt think that same sex relationships would be effected as much by this phenomenon. I mean unless the couple had completely different personalities, gendered differences arent going to come into play in changing someone.

Nar it does... My gf and I are practically two completely different people, but then we're not :confused: argh confusing! But both her mates and mine have noticed changes in us as individuals (since we've been together)...not major ones, but ones that have been obviously noticed by others.

[Rancid_Beasties]

What I meant to say was that the only influence would be on a personality to personality basis. Because gender differences dont come into play you wouldn't expect one or the other to become "pussy-whipped" or "cockstruck" unlike in many heterosexual relationships. Of course I have no idea, because all my gay friends seem to be single :(

[mikizee]

I dont have any gay friends at all. not that i know of anyway.

[miss soul fire]

Beth started writing exactly like Bobby when they were here more often. Hihihihi. Did you guys notice?


like that...and they also love lamps (lb) and exclamation marks icons (!)
"oh, i'm beth...he's bobby
we're...
married."


Hihihi. I love them both. I'm just saying that I think it's sweet!:D

[SobaViolence]

love is like mixing different chemicals,

either there is a reaction or nothing happens.

[Kid Presentable]

love is like mixing different chemicals,

either there is a reaction or nothing happens.

Love is like the internet. Either you're connected or you're not.

[instigator7022]

When people hang out a lot they become like eachother and one explanation i heard was that because atoms move and atoms from your brain are possibly moving into that person that you're constantly with's brain then you can sort of think like that other person idk how to explain it it was weird though. Like they are your atoms but they are relocated and they can still tell you what to do from a different place and it doesn't make much sense but it sort of does.

[QueenAdrock]

Atoms? Not likely.

I bet it's some sort of parasite that feeds on your brain and then squirms out your ear early in the morning and squirms in the ear of your partner and then feeds on your partner's brain, and in the process the parasite's diseases he's carrying get transferred to both your bloodstreams, which would explain the delerious and slightly nauseous feeling you get when you're in love.

Or maybe that's just me.