It's a wonderful life (not)

[cookiepuss]

I need that big fat Clarence angel to come down here and show me what life would be like without me. As of late, I remain unconvinced that I have any impact on the world and as bad as it sounds I sometimes feel I would be better off dead. (not that I would kill myself, I'm a puss. And there are 1 or two people who would be genuinely upset by my passing so I won't do that to them)

It's just that every time it seems like I'm going to get ahead in life or imporve it in someway, something happens and dashes all my hopes and dreams. I was getting a pretty nice xmas bonus, which my boyfriend and I had hoped to use part of it to get out of the shit hole apartment we live in and buy xmas presents.... but my car just broke down again today so...there goes most of my bonus. That's how it always goes down the monet the money comes the dog has to go to the emergency vet or the car breaks down or something happens to keep us poor poor poor. we work our asses of day to day and we have nothing to show for it. Life isn't suppose to be about money..but it is.

At least I have some good people in my life. it's the only thing that keeps me here. But I've more or less lost my faith in everything. And what does a 28 yr old do when they are already tired of living? What am I going to be like at 40? I'll get over it I guess. I just keep telling myself that things could be worse (like I could have a 175 ld tumor growing out of my back)and that someone always has it worse than me.

[ToucanSpam]

When life knocks you down for the 100th time, you brush yourself off and say 'Bring on number 101'. There's all sorts of different shitty things that happen to people, but you have to just roll with the punches and just take the hits as they come, and dont beat yourself up over what you cant control (for the most part).

There's no such thing as being tired of living, there is such thing about being tired of living the way you have been. So just make changes.

[fucktopgirl]

MAn,life is like that,it is continually challenging us!Its goes up,it come down,up,down.The only thing we can do ,is to make our mind stronger to thoses changes and be aware that its never fix,always in movement,cannot fight against it ,but move with it,follow the flow!

[Nadia]

i know what you're talking about... i felt the same way last year, and i've made some major changes in my life. just try to figure out what makes you unhappy (besides of the money, of course, but maybe you should try to get a better paid job), and try to change that. ;)

i once read something about a "quarter-life crisis", that starts around the age of 25 (of course)... hope you feel better soon!

[cookiepuss]

i once read something about a "quarter-life crisis", that starts around the age of 25 (of course)... hope you feel better soon!

That's It! I'm having a quarter life crisis...either that or this year is my saturn return. I'm working on making changes, it's just frusterating because circumstances seem to be blocking me from actually succeeding in the change making process. what is that saying though...there's nothing worth having that isn't worth fighting for? I guess I need to recoup and keep fighting.


sorry to be a downer, kids. I've just been real low lately..this time of year is just really dificult for me.

[paul jones]

we all need to win the lotto I think

(y)

[ToucanSpam]

sorry to be a downer, kids. I've just been real low lately..this time of year is just really dificult for me.

Everyone has days like that... everyone deserves the chance to just let loose here. Consider yourself lucky that you get that chance!!


*e-hug*

[apparatus]

we all need to win the lotto I think

(y)

true that.


i can relate.. although i don't have cars to break down or own apartments to worry about (yet). i managed to accidentaly erase all music i've done the last five months from my computer today. and my ears hurt and i'm not sure i can even continue making music as much as i do (and that's far from what i'd like to).. eh. sorry, i'm not trying to hijack your thread.

i think there's something shitty about winter, it gets so cold and dark. might do something to your serotonine level too i guess. sometimes you have to put yourself in a different perspective. compared to how millions of peope live, our problems usually seem ridiculous (not that they seize to be problems because of that.. but sometimes one need to laugh about it).

[ericlee]

we all need to win the lotto I think

(y)

I've got 3 mil in Iraqi dinar. If that shit even goes up to a dime then I'm pretty well set. I'm hoping it goes up like the Kuwaiti dinar because the Kuwaiti dinar started off just with about the same value as the Iraqi dinar currently is now.

It's kinda like playing the lotto.

[paul jones]

I've got 3 mil in Iraqi dinar. If that shit even goes up to a dime then I'm pretty well set. I'm hoping it goes up like the Kuwaiti dinar because the Kuwaiti dinar started off just with about the same value as the Iraqi dinar currently is now.

It's kinda like playing the lotto.


yes (y)

[ericlee]

Sorry to kinda change the subject with the dinar talk there, I get easily sidetracked when I'm fuckered up.

I've had that same kind of luck for a long time and it does happen during the holidays. As you said, think of all the people left in the cold and Christmas is just another day of misery. Be thankfull for your friends and family to and if you can't buy the presents you were wanting to, I'm sure the people you were going to send them to can understand your dilemma.

[ms.peachy]

Welcome to your Saturn Return. (http://www.newage-directory.com/saturn.html)

From a scientific point of view, I don't neccessarily believe in all of the alstrological new-agey bollocks of it, but it does also make some sense from a socio-physiological viewpoint as well as a philosophical one. If you divide the 28 years into 7 year blocks, what we get is this:

0-6 young childhood. Up to about age 7, we are essentially creatures of instinct and concrete thought; we don't yet have much capacity for abstraction. This is partly why the time around age 7 has some weight in many religious customs (communion, etc), because beyond that, we start to be expected to reason right from wrong, etc, not something we can really do prior to that. We might know that a certain behavior is 'bad' because we've been told it is and/or because there are negative consequences when we do it, but we can't actually workour for ourselves why it might be intrinsically 'bad', if you see what I mean.

7-13 older childhood. We still see the world with childlike innocence and relatively openly, and also now are developing the capacity for reason, logic, judgement. As this increased thought capacity develops, we are as yet largely untroubled by pesky hormonal influences.

14-20 teenage years. All hell breaks loose as our bodies become surging hormone factories. The less said about this period the better, really.

21-27 youth. Not neccessarily a golden age, but a time of becoming, of testing oneself against the world, trying things on, forming relationships, starting careers, really beginning to make ones own way in the world, whilst yet still being young enough to have the safety of being 'just a kid' in some ways - if you screw up, people will forgive you for your naivety.

So then 28 rolls around and guess what? Suddenly it's like you have to officially be some sort of grown up. Should I be married by now? (or, Am I really happy in this marriage?) Why isn't my career going anywhere? Am I going to be too old to have kids by the time I finally meet someone I want to have them with? (or, Did I have kids too young and miss out on some fun stuff?) Is that a gray hair? Do I have bags under my eyes? How come I can't eat anything I like without getting fat anymore? Why does that face looking back at me from the mirror look so much like Mom/Dad?

Yeah so. Welcome to Saturn.

[cj hood]

I need that big fat Clarence angel to come down here and show me what life would be like without me. As of late, I remain unconvinced that I have any impact on the world and as bad as it sounds I sometimes feel I would be better off dead. (not that I would kill myself, I'm a puss. And there are 1 or two people who would be genuinely upset by my passing so I won't do that to them)

It's just that every time it seems like I'm going to get ahead in life or imporve it in someway, something happens and dashes all my hopes and dreams. I was getting a pretty nice xmas bonus, which my boyfriend and I had hoped to use part of it to get out of the shit hole apartment we live in and buy xmas presents.... but my car just broke down again today so...there goes most of my bonus. That's how it always goes down the monet the money comes the dog has to go to the emergency vet or the car breaks down or something happens to keep us poor poor poor. we work our asses of day to day and we have nothing to show for it. Life isn't suppose to be about money..but it is.

At least I have some good people in my life. it's the only thing that keeps me here. But I've more or less lost my faith in everything. And what does a 28 yr old do when they are already tired of living? What am I going to be like at 40? I'll get over it I guess. I just keep telling myself that things could be worse (like I could have a 175 ld tumor growing out of my back)and that someone always has it worse than me.


we already did a BF suicide post this month......check your memo!

[alexandra]

great post by ms.peachy.

[cookiepuss]

we already did a BF suicide post this month......check your memo!


ha! it's not a suicide post it's a depression post. Learn to diferentiate dude. :rolleyes:


hey thanks everyone... it's good to know I'm not the only one who has felt this way and to put things in persepective by getting other people's opinions about growing older and struggling with life.

[hpdrifter]

So then 28 rolls around and guess what? Suddenly it's like you have to officially be some sort of grown up. Should I be married by now? (or, Am I really happy in this marriage?) Why isn't my career going anywhere? Am I going to be too old to have kids by the time I finally meet someone I want to have them with? (or, Did I have kids too young and miss out on some fun stuff?) Is that a gray hair? Do I have bags under my eyes? How come I can't eat anything I like without getting fat anymore? Why does that face looking back at me from the mirror look so much like Mom/Dad?

Yeah so. Welcome to Saturn.

Wow. I could have written this. I have written this in my head while I'm stuck in traffic on my way to work.

And I'm 28.

:eek:

[Lex Diamonds]

There's no such thing as being tired of living, there is such thing about being tired of living the way you have been. So just make changes.
You can't change your memories. You can only try and force yourself to forget them.

[cosmo105]

that's rough. sorry about the money situation. my mom said it to me best (she was always right, damn her) - money will always be a problem, we're most likely never going to be rich. so just make do with what you have and spend more time thinking about the good things in life and less worrying about what you can't change.

it's corny, but i think it's true that the people in your life that are really important to you are what matters most.

my boyfriend and i were having a very similar chat last night, actually. after two "past due" bills (that we never actually got the originals in the mail in the first place) and freaking out about my credit i had a wee breakdown. i started wondering just what we were working for. all we want is to be together and be happy, but we have so much left ahead of us. school, money, loans, debt. it feels like you'll be running that hamster wheel forever, doesn't it? all toward what end? retirement? not until 70, if you're lucky (and if social security isn't destroyed by then).

i have to keep telling myself this sometimes to keep going, but i think it's best to not spend too much time dwelling on the things in life that just are - there's not too much point in it, unless you decide to change things. the unfortunate truth for most of us is that we really can't change our situation that much. i won't go in to my rant on the fallacy of the american dream here. but either way...

you're a bitchin' chick, and the world needs more people like you. life's a struggle for sure, but that's why we have people around us that love us and all. keep your chin up. and burn people some mix cds to save money for xmas. :cool:

[Loppfessor]

I can relate a lot. I've had a rough couple of weeks as well. First I always get really depressed round the holidays especially when I know I'm not going home and no one is coming to see me. Then I've been working really long weird shifts, and my car broke down again. So now my x-mass shopping is put on hold till I get that fixed. Plus a lot of other small things that I won't go into.

Well I found out the other day I may be deploying next month and I hafta get my "affairs" in order. Last night I had to get my will/life insurance updates and it really made me think. Trying to decide who got what if I die really made me realize just how many amazing people I have in my life and how badly I want to see them again. It really is all about the loved ones man. Money comes and goes and there will never be enough for everything but that's just how life is. But the people you love and who love you are the important thing.