Can I vent??

[miss soul fire]

I'm super upset today. And I'm gonna whine a lot because I need to vent. Sorry, it's very annoying and it has to do with my insecure things, which haven't been around for quite some time, but lately I feel a bit sad.

Here's the thing, I gained lots of kilograms (I'm already losing the weight, but it's a slow process) so, anyway, my sister's graduation is next Monday and I've decided to go on a real diet to lose like 7kgs in a week, which is a lot and I know it's wrong, because I have done it before. But I just wanted to do it for this party! Today I went to weight myself and it was the same!!!! I'm on my period, but still I know my body, I usually lose like 3 kgs at least per week and I've started this diet on Friday. I'm also being treated by a psychiatrist, not that he knows about this anyway. My biggest worry is with my cousin. She is like me gets fat and lose weight and so on, we have the same anxiety problems, but my aunt told me how slender she was and I felt so bad because she's aways envy of me when I'm skinny, she was the one who told my mom that I was anorexic just because I have lots weight that time and I felt so great. Some people thought I was too skinny, but I was in the right weight according to doctors or anything, not even the mininum I'm supposed to weight. Anyway, so at the last celebration in March, it was my cousin's wedding (another cousin) so I was gloriously skinny and shining and she was fat and sad, now it's the opposite and I hate this!!!! It's like she did voodoo with me!!!! I was feeling so damn good!

Now I don't even wanna go to the party or buy any a dress because I'll lose it soon and also if I stay home I'll have to take care of her sister's brat kid and don't want that. He brakes the whole house and she sucks too.

What should I do?? :o :(

I realize this is the most insecure thread ever, but yeah, I'm stupid like that...whatever...

But anyway, I'll get over it...

Not to mention I still got the hiccups...

[abcdefz]

Girlstuff.

Bald Bird says "No logic will help." :D

[fucktopgirl]

well do what you want to do but i dont think is very wise to bang your head on the wall because you have a couple pound overweigh!
:D

[cookiepuss]

I think everyone likes you regarless of how much you weight. I think most people also think you are beautiful regardless.


P.s. -Don't keep these feelings from your shrink. You pay him to help you with stuff like this. ;)

[hpdrifter]

That's what I was going to say. Don't keep this from your psychiatrist. It sounds like a very serious eating disorder. You can't manage it by yourself.

[miss soul fire]

That's what I was going to say. Don't keep this from your psychiatrist. It sounds like a very serious eating disorder. You can't manage it by yourself.
He knows about my eating disorder.I judt didn't have the chance to tell him about this particular diet I started this week (and I'm over it since today). I'll tell him tomorrow when I have the appointment with him.

I don't care if I'm beautiful or not, I just wanna feel good about myself and I only feel good hen I'm slender and my clothes fit and I can dream about getting new clothes. That's just it...

It's not just a girly problem. I'm not even a girl anymore. But thanks anyway.

[miss soul fire]

well do what you want to do but i dont think is very wise to bang your head on the wall because you have a couple pound overweigh!
:D
You should definitely throw your head on the wall, but never get it back.okay?:)

[TAL]

Yes, I give you permission to vent. Go ahead.

[miss soul fire]

Yes, I give you permission to vent. Go ahead.
I've done it!

Hey fuckedgirl, I've gained 15 kgs not 3. That's a lot, like 30 lbs or something.

Sorry for being rude, but that's it.

Plus, the hiccups never get away. Never.

[Documad]

MSF, I'm betting you've heard it all before, but you're beautiful, and you would still be beautiful if you put on quite a few pounds (I can't do metric).

There are many times when I feel like staying home because I don't want to be around people or I don't like the clothes I had planned on wearing or whatever. Almost every time, I force myself to go, and almost every time I have fun. There is always a point where I'm pulling my hair out and want to scream before I get there.

Like they said, you should tell your doctor everything, even if it's after the fact. You could still discuss why you were on this super strict diet.

[fucktopgirl]

You should definitely throw your head on the wall, but never get it back.okay?:)

are you insulting me?

and its fucktopgirl okay :D

[miss soul fire]

MSF, I'm betting you've heard it all before, but you're beautiful, and you would still be beautiful if you put on quite a few pounds (I can't do metric).

There are many times when I feel like staying home because I don't want to be around people or I don't like the clothes I had planned on wearing or whatever. Almost every time, I force myself to go, and almost every time I have fun. There is always a point where I'm pulling my hair out and want to scream before I get there.

Like they said, you should tell your doctor everything, even if it's after the fact. You could still discuss why you were on this super strict diet.
Thanks a lot, Documad. Yes, I'm gonna tell him. I wouldn't keep this from him. It's just because my second appointment with him it's only tomorrow.

Like, I said, I don't care about being beautiful. At least in my country I am not considered beautiful, but that's the least of my worries. I just screwe it up and all I want is to see my cousin skinny and be cool about it, you know?!
She's like "oh, I'm so much better than you, I read lots of books, I'm rich (actually not but she thinks she is) and I've got green eyes, now I'm skinnier than you!" Blah...and she's 40!

[miss soul fire]

are you insulting me?

and its fucktopgirl okay :D
Sorry. I didn't interpret yopur post well, but justfor the record, I've gained 15kgs not 3, so that's a lot, it's not like 2 pounds, it's 30. I'm just clarifying that for you.

[Echewta]

Comparing yourself to others will be your downfall MSF. Some day the right boy or girl will come along and bamo alah whamo, you wont care about your cousin because you'll be in megalove.

[fucktopgirl]

Sorry. I didn't interpret yopur post well, but justfor the record, I've gained 15kgs not 3, so that's a lot, it's not like 2 pounds, it's 30. I'm just clarifying that for you.


sorry if your misinterpret my post,maybe i was not clear!
anyway what i wanted to say ,dont be down because of the weight you have to loose!It will not help the situation.I'v gain 50 pounds when i was pregnate and it take me 2 years to get back to my 115lbs.And its was fucking hell sometime but discipline is the key and too not be so hard on one self with it!

[miss soul fire]

Comparing yourself to others will be your downfall MSF. Some day the right boy or girl will come along and bamo alah whamo, you wont care about your cousin because you'll be in megalove.
I didn't know I was bi, but what the hell, that might happen. I have no hope though because as once told Red "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.":o:D That doesn't reallymatter anymore though. I've learned how to deal with it. No problema.

Cmute, I've got pink nipples, damnit! I wish they were like chocolate chips though!

[miss soul fire]

sorry if your misinterpret my post,maybe i was not clear!
anyway what i wanted to say ,dont be down because of the weight you have to loose!It will not help the situation.I'v gain 50 pounds when i was pregnate and it take me 2 years to get back to my 115lbs.And its was fucking hell sometime but discipline is the key and too not be so hard on one self with it!
I know what you mean. I've gained and lost it like 13 times in 13 years.

[ciaobellaOX]

Your like a years subscription to People magazine - way too many issues.

[zorra_chiflada]

i lose a lot of weight and then put it all back on as well. this happens to me all the time. so i know how shitty it feels. i'm sorry, i don't have any advice

[iceygirl]

buy a new outfit that you feel comfterble and pretty in, go to the party, and if that woman makes you feel shitty, make some witty passive aggressive comment about her age vs. your youthful vitality.

[miss soul fire]

YEAH!!!!! THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO!!!!

I'm gonna wear a great dress, I got a bit of a tan already and I'm gonna look fat with style!!!

I asked my psychiatrist if I could drink some and he sad "HELL YEAH! HAVE FUN" Hihihihihihi.:D He rocks!

[iceygirl]

:)

i just thought of a brilliant retort if that woman gets nasty with you

[cookiepuss]

Dear Hot Mama Ms. Soulfire:

What about exercise instead of just dieting? I know it can be hard to find the time and maybe you don't have access/money to join a gym, but I really think it might help, even if it means just going for a walk or jog . Excercise creates endorphines which makes you feel good and in turn help you feel better about your body image. Dieting takes alot of will power and doesn't release any endorphines to make you feel good.

I've been struggling with my weight for years. I'm very curvy and my genetics are not on my side because my mom is quite heavy. However, over the last six months I have been exerciseing regularly about 3 times a week for about 30 minutes. I havent' changed my diet very much, just balanced it a bit and I have lost two clothing sizes. (I don't know what I weight. I don't beleive in scales, they are evil.) All I know is I now wear a size 8 pants and I didn't even weart that in highschool. I'm still not super skinny and I probably never will be, that's not my body type. but regrdless of the inches lost around my waist, I feel better in general and even before the pounds came off I felt better about my body image. I seem to get sick alot less too.

My advice to you is not to put yourself on drastic diets but walk, jump, skip,run, swim, yoga your way to a better body.

much love and good luck,
Cookiepuss