View Full Version : i stopped a shoplifter today!
cosmo105
12-17-2005, 02:15 AM
i felt like such a vigilante. apparently she's a crazy old homeless lady that always comes in and steals. i saw her shove something in her pocket as my friend was ringing her up, and i chased her outside and asked her to empty her pockets. she finally did and shoved the essential oil into my hand and said she "forgot to pay for it" and ran off. we're not letting her in anymore, apparently. oh and i heard that in the past customers have said that they saw her in a van with some guys letting them take topless pictures of her which is really gross because she's got to be at least 50 something.
my heart was racing for a few minutes and i felt pretty badass.
The Notorious LOL
12-17-2005, 02:17 AM
I used to have friends of mine shoplift for me. It kicked ass.
cosmo105
12-17-2005, 02:18 AM
not when it's from an independently-owned family business that's been a vital part of the community for 45 years.
The Notorious LOL
12-17-2005, 02:20 AM
no this was best buy in duluth, minnesota.
laurie_hammy
12-17-2005, 02:25 AM
i felt like such a vigilante. apparently she's a crazy old homeless lady that always comes in and steals. i saw her shove something in her pocket as my friend was ringing her up, and i chased her outside and asked her to empty her pockets. she finally did and shoved the essential oil into my hand and said she "forgot to pay for it" and ran off. we're not letting her in anymore, apparently. oh and i heard that in the past customers have said that they saw her in a van with some guys letting them take topless pictures of her which is really gross because she's got to be at least 50 something.
my heart was racing for a few minutes and i felt pretty badass.
hahahahaha
befsquire
12-17-2005, 02:26 AM
no this was best buy in duluth, minnesota.
carry on then. and keep my number on speed dial.
i felt like such a vigilante.
a cat that is a vigilante. a vigilante cat!
did you feel like a vigilante cat?
befsquire
12-17-2005, 02:50 AM
you say shoplifter, i say client.
Cosmo, I know you feel good about yourself now, but remember that Steger matters too.
Nuzzolese
12-17-2005, 10:03 AM
Poor old bird. I feel sorry for her, posing nude in a van, stealing essential oils, being homeless and crazy at Christmas time, banned from the store, publicly humilated by a young pretty girl with a bright future.
Echewta
12-17-2005, 10:14 AM
you say shoplifter, i say client.
*snicker*
ToucanSpam
12-17-2005, 10:30 AM
This story reminds me of a John Wayne film, and how he deals out his own brand of justice.......
synch
12-17-2005, 10:35 AM
You could have gone all the way and made the Charles Bronson comparison.
I think we both know it would have made sense.
Ah well.
Too late now.
ToucanSpam
12-17-2005, 10:38 AM
:(
cosmo105
12-17-2005, 01:35 PM
Poor old bird. I feel sorry for her, posing nude in a van, stealing essential oils, being homeless and crazy at Christmas time, banned from the store, publicly humilated by a young pretty girl with a bright future.
yeah, i feel sorry for her too. i'm sure she's had a rough life. but that doesn't mean we're going to let her come in and steal from us. btw, oh sthop it :o
kleptomaniac
12-17-2005, 08:47 PM
y'all are a bunch of kleptos
TurdBerglar
12-17-2005, 08:56 PM
no shit
we have security sometimes. we only call him in when we have a perpetual shoplifter that's been hanging around. the guy is good tho
Rancid_Beasties
12-17-2005, 10:01 PM
I stopped a guy stealing a bottle of remy martin xo cognac the other day. The fuckhead had his bag open and was looking around to see if anyone was watching and he picked it up but i sneaked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder and told him that it was store policy to ask customers to leave their bags at the front. I think he just about crapped his pants.
However, we've had alot of robberies lately. 1 bottle of johnnie blue @ about $300 a bottle, and 3 magnums of Penfolds grange hermitage @ about $1800 a bottle, but none while I have been working :cool:
TurdBerglar
12-17-2005, 10:22 PM
What is your stores policy when it comes to boosting? Do you allow physical contact between the thief and security? Do you take 'em to court? Details...
well one guy got chased out the store and jacked up against a minivan by one of our managers. he had like a shitload of over the counter meds. we didn't have security that day. i think after he got jacked up against the car some others came running out and they just bullied him into submission and hauled him into the upstairs offices and called the cops.
ASsman
12-17-2005, 10:28 PM
Snitch.
TurdBerglar
12-17-2005, 10:31 PM
what about baby formula
that's a huge hit with you shitbags
adrock14
12-17-2005, 10:31 PM
one time when my baby sister and I were in a candy store, I was reading magazines and she kept running up to me and touching my butt. i just ignored her cause she was 2 and did very stupid things then (and still does). well, I went to walk out of the store and the alarm went off. security went to check me and I told them I had nothing. Thats when they started pulling all this candy out of my back pocket. come to find out she was putting candy in my back pocket. :eek: I was mad at my sister but then remembered that she was 2. I am know longer allowed in that store. :mad: (n)
fucktopgirl
12-17-2005, 10:35 PM
haha,that funny,you're sister is quick!
jackrock
12-17-2005, 10:36 PM
good job cosmo (y) time to teach those punk theives what's coming! :D (y)...
not that all thieves are punks... but yea!
adrock14
12-17-2005, 10:43 PM
haha,that funny,you're sister is quick!
yeah, everyone thinks she is harmless. then right when they say that she turns to them and gives them puppy eyes. but then turns to me and gives me fire burning eyes. we have matching shirts. hers says "im the good twin" and mine says "im the evil twin". its all a scam, and I know it!!! (!)
miss_bhaven
12-18-2005, 10:59 PM
Poor old bird. I feel sorry for her, posing nude in a van, stealing essential oils, being homeless and crazy at Christmas time, banned from the store, publicly humilated by a young pretty girl with a bright future.
I'm sure it's all her fault, regarding to where she is now in life.
Qdrop
12-19-2005, 11:01 AM
you say shoplifter, i say client.
then you're fighting for the wrong side.
skinnybutphat
12-19-2005, 11:05 AM
I worked at Sears while in high school and chased a dude down who was twice as big as me then promptly yelled for the loss prevention fellows to catch up. Yup, I was a fast pussy. I wasn't about to get stabbed over some dude trying to return stolen router bits.
Lindsey_1535
12-19-2005, 11:06 AM
Some dude stole a bag a chips one time, I let it slideeeeeeeeee.
instigator7022
12-19-2005, 11:07 AM
i felt like such a vigilante. apparently she's a crazy old homeless lady that always comes in and steals. i saw her shove something in her pocket as my friend was ringing her up, and i chased her outside and asked her to empty her pockets. she finally did and shoved the essential oil into my hand and said she "forgot to pay for it" and ran off. we're not letting her in anymore, apparently. oh and i heard that in the past customers have said that they saw her in a van with some guys letting them take topless pictures of her which is really gross because she's got to be at least 50 something.
my heart was racing for a few minutes and i felt pretty badass.
eh just let em steal.
cosmo105
12-19-2005, 11:39 AM
hrm yeah no
seeing as how i work there and it's a small, independent outfit that can't really afford any losses like that and they sort of give me paychecks
instigator7022
12-19-2005, 11:46 AM
hrm yeah no
seeing as how i work there and it's a small, independent outfit that can't really afford any losses like that and they sort of give me paychecks
how much does essential oil cost?
voltanapricot
12-19-2005, 01:04 PM
There’s a gypsy family that come into our store and one of them is a midget and I kid you not, on so many occasions has she managed to slip out before we notice a bundle of clothes floating away from the door as she wears them on her head and the rest of the family keep the management occupied.
befsquire
12-19-2005, 06:31 PM
then you're fighting for the wrong side.
i think i'm fighting for the right side. let's assume the shoplifter got arrested and they find she has 2 prior petit theft convictions. that makes this one a felony, regardless of the amount of the item. let's put the item at $10. i fight to keep that client from going to state prison for the minimum offer of 18 months when the item cost is minimal.
i currently have a client in a similar situation. only the item is a shirt that was on sale for $4.99. the state's starting offer was 24 months prison.
DapperDiverge
12-19-2005, 10:37 PM
i felt like such a vigilante. apparently she's a crazy old homeless lady that always comes in and steals. i saw her shove something in her pocket as my friend was ringing her up, and i chased her outside and asked her to empty her pockets. she finally did and shoved the essential oil into my hand and said she "forgot to pay for it" and ran off. we're not letting her in anymore, apparently. oh and i heard that in the past customers have said that they saw her in a van with some guys letting them take topless pictures of her which is really gross because she's got to be at least 50 something.
Maybe she was going to use the oil to rub all over her floppy tits...you ever think of that??
Sometimes an old homeless lady has to look good for the cameras if not for herself once and awhile!!
She could've probably made a little extra with the greasy look, and used that oil for other very generous purposes...mmmm, slides right down ;)
ToucanSpam
12-19-2005, 11:21 PM
i think i'm fighting for the right side. let's assume the shoplifter got arrested and they find she has 2 prior petit theft convictions. that makes this one a felony, regardless of the amount of the item. let's put the item at $10. i fight to keep that client from going to state prison for the minimum offer of 18 months when the item cost is minimal.
i currently have a client in a similar situation. only the item is a shirt that was on sale for $4.99. the state's starting offer was 24 months prison.
I think what he meant was you see a criminal as a client, or what we call 'bad guys' for 'god guys'. Maybe I'm completely off there.
By the way, 24 months prison is absolutely ridiculous for 5 dollars worth of stolen goods.
ms.peachy
12-22-2005, 03:14 AM
I think what he meant was you see a criminal as a client, or what we call 'bad guys' for 'god guys'. Maybe I'm completely off there.
By the way, 24 months prison is absolutely ridiculous for 5 dollars worth of stolen goods.
The way I see it, the problem really is that there is not the social services and mental health network needed to deal with a woman like the one in this situation.
For example, I wouldn't have a big problem with someone like our faithbanks here going away for 24 months for a fiver, because by her own admission she knows what she's doing and accepts this as an occupational hazard - her only delusion is that she believes it can't happen to her. She is a career criminal. Whereas the woman in Cosmo's story clearly exists outside of support system, and has problems that are quite deeply rooted and probably should have been addressed years ago. But governments don't spend money to help mentally ill people get well really; it's much easier just to build more jails.
zippo
12-22-2005, 12:24 PM
cake decorators.
FATIHBANKS BY GOD YOUV DONE IT! thats what i wanna be, thats what i wanna be if this journalism deal doesnt work out in the end
A CAKE DECORATOR
zippo
12-22-2005, 12:40 PM
we have security sometimes. we only call him in when we have a perpetual shoplifter that's been hanging around. the guy is good tho
what makes a security guy a "the guy is good tho"? is he a really fast runner, can he read them their rights with no mistakes or stuttering, does he have a secret word device, or has he urged the supermarket employees to learn his "code list", has he brought in a motivational speaker? what is it turd
synch
12-22-2005, 05:15 PM
What did you really need the batteries f....
You know what? Never mind.
Sarky Devotchka
12-25-2005, 08:31 PM
bump
good god
why don't you go start or join a shoplifting message board where you can meet other like-minded individuals. you guys can all pat eachother on the back and form some giant e-circle jerk.
p.s. I steal complimentary cookies and tampons.
Chad the Lad
12-25-2005, 10:18 PM
man, i remember when i was stealin from a supermarket when i was a boy, this women seen me put stuff in my jacket, she said summit like, "you'd better watch you dont get caught"
so i aint grassin up no cunt!
however, stealing is bad (n)
Sarky Devotchka
12-25-2005, 11:19 PM
they're complimentary!
voltanapricot
12-26-2005, 05:15 AM
so i aint grassin up no cunt!
Huh? :confused:
I'm not telling on some twat!
Funkyfreshgrape
12-26-2005, 07:07 PM
i felt like such a vigilante. apparently she's a crazy old homeless lady that always comes in and steals. i saw her shove something in her pocket as my friend was ringing her up, and i chased her outside and asked her to empty her pockets. she finally did and shoved the essential oil into my hand and said she "forgot to pay for it" and ran off. we're not letting her in anymore, apparently. oh and i heard that in the past customers have said that they saw her in a van with some guys letting them take topless pictures of her which is really gross because she's got to be at least 50 something.
my heart was racing for a few minutes and i felt pretty badass.
Why would any one want some essential oil?
fucktopgirl
12-26-2005, 07:13 PM
Why would any one want some essential oil?
well, they smell good! and have differents proprieties to them!
Why would any one want some essential oil?
It's right there in the name. It's essential that you have it.
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