Christmas at Barnes and Noble

[Nuzzolese]

When I can remember to say it all, I answer the phone with "Happy Holidays, thanks for calling Barnes and Noble. How can I help you?"
Twice I got some variation of an angry and perturbed "I don't appreciate your 'Happy Holidays!'

Two steps inside the door and they grab me "do you have the chronicles of narnia?" which are all on a big display table about 4 feet away.

The phone ringing off the hook while customers walk in the door and head directly to the customer service desk to ask for something. Lines, long lines, their eyes drilling holes into your skull. You can feel it. You don't dare look but you can feel them staring at you impatiently thinking you're a dumbass slow lazy employee put there to make their lives more annoying.

They ask you for something. If it takes longer than a few minutes to find it - sometimes they get sick of waiting and angrily walk off "that's okay! forget it I'll find it myself!" Or sometimes they say nothing and simply walk away, like maybe just after I've logged into the computer. The computers there are slow.

"Where are your books on Africa?"
I ask, "Well, do you mean travel books or history or...?" (because these distinctions would place the book in different locations)
The woman's single cold dead-fish-looking albino eye glares at me. "Just show me where your books on Africa are"

"Why don't you have it? Do you know what I went through to get here?!"

"Can you call for anyone else to come up here?"

"well do you know anyone I can talk to who has read this, who knows something?!"

"Why would I want that?! You're just out to make more money"

The best is when they threaten to refuse to give their business to the store, or to go to "your competitor" as if I give a shit.


I just have to remember that this is a very stressful time for people, money is tight, traffic is awful, time is running short. These are people who have never been in a book store before, shopping for others. These are simple people, you know, morons. And they might just be assholes.


"You're going to have me fired? Lady, I'm going to have you killed!"

[CJM]

sounds like you're in the perfect christmas spirit. do you carry the book, by that guy who went places?

[Nuzzolese]

If the inventory says we have one copy of the book, and I can't find it on the shelf, it is entirely possible that it's in one of the massive stacks of books that we've gathered from various places in the store where people left them, and we haven't had a chance to return any of them to their correct shelves. Instead we started building a fort out of them so we can hide in it.

Last night we played a joke on the manager; It was super crowded and busy so the music dept called her for a return, then the cafe called her for change, then she was paged to the front, to receiving, and to information all within 10 seconds. By then she got it and I hope she laughed sincerely. Maybe she cried. eh.

[Nuzzolese]

I shouldn't say Christmas, it's just the holidays. But most of the people shopping there are people who celebrate Christmas.

It's so funny, the way Frosty The Snowman will be playing on the speakers while people are growling at each other. Oh tis the season!

[instigator7022]

Pretty much the same at the music store i work in. I'm new too so i know nothing. People are angry. Customers suck.

[ms.peachy]

I shouldn't say Christmas, it's just the holidays. But most of the people shopping there are people who celebrate Christmas.

It's so funny, the way Frosty The Snowman will be playing on the speakers while people are growling at each other. Oh tis the season!
When one of those people is giving you shit, just smile all sweetly-like and say "Jesus understands, and forgives you."

[abcdefz]

I feel ya. I always loved customer service stuff (except at the church, come to think of it), but... yeah; I feel ya. (y)

[Lindsey_1535]

Best story evaaaaa

[insertnamehere]

i felt bad buying the chronicles of narnia cause its the trendy thing to do now, but i had to get it the other night. i read them all when i was in middle school, but i got them out of the library, and really id thought about buying them for some time before it was the new trendy book series to buy based off a movie but it was too much to spend on books. i just happened to aquire a b&n gift card to put a dent in the price.

but yeah i stumbled all around first the scifi/fantasy section, then into fiction trynig to figure out where they would be. luckily im one of those stubborn "i dont need to ask for help" type people, becasue on my way to check the childrens section i almost ran into the big table in the middle of the store with all the narnia stuff on it.

i considered not buying it when i saw the price, but i decided id pick them up and think about it. after i walked around the bookstore for awhile hugging the box and not being able to put it back i got them. merry christmas to me.

[Nuzzolese]

Where I work we keep them in the children's and also the teen fiction sections. Don't feel bad buying them now. They are trendy but they were always good, and you liked them before. But now they've rearranged the order so The Magician's Nephew is labeled book 1 and The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe is labeled book 2.

[yeahwho]

I'm sitting here reading my copy of LOVE SMART, by Phil McGraw, which I purcahsed at Barnes and Noble when I look over at my fishbowl and my fish has just ate a hair.

[Echewta]

I went to the restroom in B&K a few weeks ago and their were some muscle magazines on the floor near the toilet. Good thing I only had to pee so I didn't have to sit on the seat where someone was looking at muscle guys workout and drink big shake things with amino acids and whey.

[Echewta]

I thought you would have learned your lesson when the genie came out that one time dillweed.

[Nuzzolese]

A teenaged boy came out of the bathroom once with one of those tissue paper toilet covers around his neck. He was so deadpan it was hilarious. I usually go for sight gags.

[Echewta]

What makes you think I would pee sitting down anyways? And why ruin this thread by bringing Kll into it?

[Echewta]

Is that all you think about is being in the sack?

[Echewta]

Your concern is appreciated. Anytime you want to make sure it still works, let me know. If that means in the B&K bathroom, so be it.

[Nuzzolese]

This is all very charming, but it has nothing to do with MEEEE! Focus.

[Echewta]

Have you caught anyone having sex in the bathroom at work Nuzz?

[Nuzzolese]

Never, but an old large man did get naked and refuse to leave.

[Echewta]

Yes, again I apologize about that.

[Echewta]

i beat you and didnt even have to quote.

[marsdaddy]

Retail sucks. I used to have a manager who would brush her hair when a customer pissed her off. She was going bald around January.

I once told a woman, "you're the reason prices get increased," because she was returning something that had a cigarette hole and she insisted her teenage son didn't smoke.

[beastieangel01]

although the holidays are stressful, I still don't think there is an excuse to act like a jackass. I have never (and yes, I mean never) acted like a jack ass to someone at a retail store, or in food service for that matter. It's not like the people who are cashiers or stock people or what have you are in charge of everything. They have their job to do, and if they can help me that's cool, but I'm not about to bite off their head if they can't.

And if it really is something they should know, well, I just say "thanks anyways" and look for someone else.

This is why I hate hate hate hate going anywhere to do Christmas shopping. I want to slap customers constantly.

[Documad]

I'm a complete idiot who thought I could wait and buy a book for a friend's present any time I wanted to. I went to two Borders and one B&N before looking it up and finding out it's out of print. People who shop at Borders are nice. People at B&N are not. Especially in the religion aisles. :rolleyes:

[Matt]

Where I work we keep them in the children's and also the teen fiction sections. Don't feel bad buying them now. They are trendy but they were always good, and you liked them before. But now they've rearranged the order so The Magician's Nephew is labeled book 1 and The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe is labeled book 2.

The Magician's Nephew was always book 1.

But I know how you feel. I had a guy come up to me the other day and started to ask me about ipods. I'm fucking stocking cheese. electronics are on the other side of the store. I kindly tried to direct him over to that department, but the guy wouldn't quit. Kept asking me to "go see if there are any in the back". same thing happened on the xbox launch. out store had 12 units, and the line was out the door. we didn't hand them out until the store was cleared of everyone except the first 12 in line. after that, there were still people around asking if we had any in the back (company polacy is that if a customer asks for us to check in back, we have to, even if we know there isn't any, as a courtousy to the customer), and accusing us of holding them for ourselves. I hate the holidays.

[Documad]

Yeah, Magician's Nephew is #1 in my box. I read that and the next one. Does the movie only cover The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe?

I never loved those books, but I did love A Wrinkle in Time.

[DJ_Skrilla]

barnes and noble sucks... didnt even have my dvd i wanted. Fuck holes...

not to mention the line was like throughout the whole store twisted around 3 times.

Who likes to sit in a shitty bookstore and read? not me, i like to be as loud as possible to piss those people off! freakin idiots!!!!!!!

[Medellia]

Yes, reading is a sign of idiocy. :rolleyes:



I just got a B&K gift card. What should I get?

[ms.peachy]

Who likes to sit in a shitty bookstore and read? not me, i like to be as loud as possible to piss those people off! freakin idiots!!!!!!!
Fuck YEAH!!!! You are ONE HARD MOTHERFUCKER, man!!!! Goddamn if only I could be half as cool!!!!!!!! FUCK books, man!!!!!

[insertnamehere]

when the books first came out, the lion the witch and the wardrobe came out first, then some others, the magician's nephew came much later in the series. then publishing companies decided to publish them in cronological order acording to the history of narnia rather than in the order they first came out in.

[marsdaddy]

However, I was in there one time with son who was three then, and he was talking up a storm, and this guy looks at us and goes "Shhhhhh". I paused, smiled, then looked around to make sure I was in B&N, and then said "You are aware that this is a store, not a library, right?" He said "Well I'm trying to read", and I said "And, I'm trying to shop with my son, and you are interupting me."Nice comeback. The guy deserved to hang with Skrilla.

[Nuzzolese]

I don't get online at the bookstore. Even if we had internet access there I wouldn't have time to play on the net.

[Nuzzolese]

The Magician's Nephew was always book 1.


Not always.

[Echewta]

I went to B&N last nightto use their restroom and of course thought of Nuzz. Not while in the restroom. But like walking by the books and all of the trendy blondes on the phone and standing in the middle of the f%ing ailse.

[cosmo105]

Never, but an old large man did get naked and refuse to leave.
how did you get mickill to finally go?

ahh, retail stories. the roughest retail job i had was Wherehouse Music when i was 18. minimum wage, only about 15 hours a week. i think i spent more there (DISCOUNTED DVDS/CDS/GAMES!!) than i earned. and christmas was hell. i worked christmas eve and day and the same thing with new year's. we got to close maybe 2 hours early i think. ahh, it sucked. but when the company declared bankruptcy (again) and had to close our store, we set aside dozens of rental dvds and cds and games in drawers for ourselves to wait until our clearance prices dropped to about 40% off. i got so many movies for $6. i just wish i had saved that bjork box set, damnit.

i've always kind of liked borders more than b&n. sorry nuzz. nothing personal.

[Echewta]

I like Bjork.

[cosmo105]

i didn't put her greatest hits box set (in the little pink tupperware box and all :() aside and someone else bought it. i could have had it for like 20 bucks.

[Echewta]

Thousand Oaks were the jeans are tight and the pink Uggs are always in fashion.

[Nuzzolese]

i've always kind of liked borders more than b&n. sorry nuzz. nothing personal.

But I identify with my work, can't you see that?! I just don't think we can be friends anymore. Your values about customer service are too pagan.


I'm not joking cmute. Why so incredulous? I only work there a few hours a week. I play on the net at my fulltime day job.