condom malfunctions

[insertnamehere]

anyone seem to have an unusually high number of these? i mean, is it really that hard to find a good condom. i mean, ive heard of them breaking, but stretching out all kinds of weird ways so they wont stay on anymore, whats that all about? and they should make more sizes.

condom companies, i am not satisfied with your products. :mad:

[Kid Presentable]

You're going to get pregnant.

Congratulations. :)

[Tzar]

haha

[TurdBerglar]

maybe your pussy is so warm it's melting them. try packing it with ice

[Kid Presentable]

maybe your pussy is so warm it's melting them. try packing it with ice

Or sand inside the jimmy hat.

[insertnamehere]

no im not, thanks (y)

i was just talkign about condoms with someone (well actually about thailand) and it got me to thinking about how hard it is to find a style/brand condom that you like.

[Freedom Toast]

Pulling out is way better than risking a busted/lost condom.

[insertnamehere]

so im not the only one thats lost one before


how the heck does that happen?

[Kid Presentable]

Pulling out is way better than risking a busted/lost condom.
Or the pill, right? I mean, condoms are shit.

[DandyFop]

When I was on the pill and with my old dude, he wore a condom also. Better safe than sorry.

Next time I'll probably use a condom and spermicide foam or whatever cause I suck at remembering the pill.

[TurdBerglar]

spermicidal foam is so hot

[DandyFop]

yeah so is unwanted pregnancies

[Kid Presentable]

yeah so is unwanted pregnancies

For the first five seconds, I think we're all 'Unwanted Pregnancies'.

[TurdBerglar]

so this foam shit. is it like in some sort of despenser? like some aroesol shit? becuase all i can imagine is you layed out on your bed spread eagle with something that looks like those whiped cream things shoved in your cooch while trying to entice the dude with "yeah baby im so fuckn' hot" eyes and giggles

[TurdBerglar]

For the first five seconds, I think we're all 'Unwanted Pregnancies'.


what would you say is the persentage of pregnancies that are "accidental"?


i'd say 75%+

[Tzar]

what would you say is the persentage of pregnancies that are "accidental"?


i'd say 75%+
i'd say that the perCentage would be around 75%. dunno about the persentage though. i'll get back to you on that one.

[TurdBerglar]

yeah yeah

[DandyFop]

so this foam shit. is it like in some sort of despenser? like some aroesol shit? becuase all i can imagine is you layed out on your bed spread eagle with something that looks like those whiped cream things shoved in your cooch while trying to entice the dude with "yeah baby im so fuckn' hot" eyes and giggles

Haven't used it yet.

[TurdBerglar]

you should practive with the whipped cream

[insertnamehere]

pill + condom w/ spermacidal lube is my combo of choice, although i have gone with pill + pull out. very very rarely pill + nothing, but usually that was as a result of the condom not doing its job. but there was still the spermacidal lube residue so i guess thats something. and then one time there was accidentally nothing + morning after pills. oops.

[Kid Presentable]

what would you say is the persentage of pregnancies that are "accidental"?


i'd say 75%+

Most dudes are like: "I've fucking ruined my life!!!".

Then you have to tell the kid, once they start asking:"It was so special, Mummy and Daddy were so excited about this little baby they were expecting."

[DandyFop]

You don't think women get a little freaked out also?

[TurdBerglar]

You don't think women get a little freaked out also?


well women actually like kids

[DandyFop]

Yeah. I forget what fuckwits I'm dealing with here sometimes. I'm not even gonna get into it.

[Tzar]

well women actually like kids
hahahahaha

[Tzar]

Yeah. I forget what fuckwits I'm dealing with here sometimes. I'm not even gonna get into it.
*waves and smiles (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/m2ak47_tzar/vlcsnap-543466.jpg) as dandy walks out of the thread*

[TurdBerglar]

Yeah. I forget what fuckwits I'm dealing with here sometimes. I'm not even gonna get into it.

and if you keep acting all bitchy like that no one's gonna get into you

[Kid Presentable]

You don't think women get a little freaked out also?

Biology overrides any feelings women may have. Dudes always have the option of doing a runner. Not the right thing to do, but still.

[DandyFop]

Well I know, that's what I mean. You're saying "most guys think oh my life's ruined". They're not the ones that actually have to worry about it so why the fuck do they care?

And tzar when did you decide to start being a little bitch? It doesn't suit you.

[Tzar]

:eek:


my bad :D

[Freedom Toast]

Most of the ladies who have had the honor of hooking up with me HATE birth control. It makes them sick, fat, bitchy, crazy...whatever. Not to mention condoms break or get lost during hot & rough (aka good) sex....so pulling out becomes the best option (i guess). :)

[insertnamehere]

so its the hot and rough kind that loses the condoms? that makes sense.

nothing sexier than finishing, realizing the condom is gone, and having to have him...umm... look for it.

[The Notorious LOL]

just let whoevers fucking you raw dog you.

[beastieangel01]

most foam/gel I've used is the kind that looks like a thin piece of see-through film. You fold it up smaller, then you have to stick it far up in to your poonany. You have to wait 15 minutes (it melts in to the foam or gel via body heat) and then you are good to go.

Kind of kills the moment with the waiting of 15 minutes (or trying to time it) before being able to do the deed, but it's better than babies.

Now I just stick to the pill though and have been fine for about 4 years or so.

[Freedom Toast]

so its the hot and rough kind that loses the condoms? that makes sense.

nothing sexier than finishing, realizing the condom is gone, and having to have him...umm... look for it.

what a mood killer. "fuck! where'd it go? uncross your eyes and help me find this thing!"

Once we couldn't find it!! I looked and looked! She found it later that night....she had to fish d-e-e-p for it. I guess if you're gonna use condoms you shouldn't have hot & rough sex.

[insertnamehere]

yeah, once he almost couldnt get it. could barely reach the rolled up part with his middle finger. goddamn that hurt.


this is getting pretty graphic. change of subject, who like kittens?!

[DandyFop]

Most of the ladies who have had the honor of hooking up with me HATE birth control. It makes them sick, fat, bitchy, crazy...whatever. Not to mention condoms break or get lost during hot & rough (aka good) sex....so pulling out becomes the best option (i guess). :)

Yeah those pills can be crazy. They can affect your sex drive too. I don't know, whatever. I won't go on them again unless/until i'm in a long term relationship.

I've never had to deal with a lost condom. Hah. That's funny. I hope it happens so I can make a joke out of it and put it in a movie.

[insertnamehere]

you must never have been fucked properly :(

[DandyFop]

no comment :o





























:(

[fucktopgirl]

condom suck,the pull out technic is the best (if not handle by amateur)!