I put hexes on exes

[Sarky Devotchka]

so last night I was out and talking to my ex about new year's plans and he said, "oh you're gonna so make out" and I said, "I hope so, there's a half-jew I'm hoping to see". then he said, "I've always wanted to get with a jew" and I said, "I'm a jew, retard!" and he said, "no you're not, I would've remembered that!" and I said, "uhhh, hello, I'm part spanish jew" and he gave me a high five and said, "well, this changes everything! you wanna get back together?" and I said, "YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" and he just looked to the side and took a drink.

then later he was telling this girl, "did you know k's a jew? if I would've known that, we wouldn't have broken up".

and then I punched him. because he knew god damn well I was a jew and I'm the one who broke up with HIM. ha ha. He hugs me too hard and too long, I'm pretty sure he wants to touch my vagina again.

yes, thank you, I'll have another heaping scoop of random pseudo-drama.

[Freebasser]

Funny, you don't look Jewish.

[Sarky Devotchka]

well, I'm only part jewish. and sephardic at that.

[Freebasser]

I'm a mog.

[Freebasser]

No; part man, part OG, biatch.

[Sarky Devotchka]

that is dumb.

[Nuzzolese]

Sarky's eating yogurt with her friends and she's like
"this is making out with a jew good"

"no, wait, this is hipster jeans good"
"this is cute boys at my party good"
"this is...good hair day, gallery opening, cleavage looking hot good"

Come on, Sarky! You need like three other friends with two dimensional personalities and you all need to hang around and talk and shop and have various relationships with lotsa dudes and you'll be like our on-line sex and the city. Not that you have a shallow personality, I'm saying you could be the complex star of the show, it's just that your friends would be simple and predictable so we don't get too scattered in our focus.

[Sarky Devotchka]

obviously it's orange gorilla.

[abcdefz]

All Christians are Jews. True story. (y)

[SobaViolence]

Shalom.

[wanton wench]

*Walks back on to thread*

Who's saying something that is dumb now? (y)
:D

[CJM]

a guy i went to school with was jewish, and he told me that if you are, you automatically go to heaven. is that true, and if it is, is there any other way to get a free pass without having to do anything?

[marsdaddy]

Move to Texas.

[cookiepuss]

I put a real hex on an ex once...well not really an ex but a lame guy in college who stood me up. it was a really simple black magic spell where you take a needle and poke it into a burining candle over and over again chanting "As I prick this candle I prick thee, break your heart, unhappy be." Any way this looser called me at three am that very night he stood me up and drunkenly apologized for standing me up and then said he didn't think it was really a date. :mad: the next day the looser called me up in a panic saying that his car had broke down and (he was a drummer in a band) and he needed some one to drive him and his drum equipment an hour and 45 minutes away to a gig they had to play that night. I told him to eat shit.


so the moral of this story is don't fuck with wiccan girls. haha. However, I will say that is the one and only black magic spell I have cast and I would not do it again. the rules of magic say that whatever energy you send out you get it back three fold. After that spell I experienced three very inconveninet things...a flat tire, lost my favorite expensive necklace...humm I don't remember the third but something else negative happened to me within a weeks time.

[QueenAdrock]

All Christians are Jews. True story. (y)

I should try explaining that to my boyfriend's dad because he said no. :(

[Sarky Devotchka]

Sarky's eating yogurt with her friends and she's like
"this is making out with a jew good"

"no, wait, this is hipster jeans good"
"this is cute boys at my party good"
"this is...good hair day, gallery opening, cleavage looking hot good"

Come on, Sarky! You need like three other friends with two dimensional personalities and you all need to hang around and talk and shop and have various relationships with lotsa dudes and you'll be like our on-line sex and the city. Not that you have a shallow personality, I'm saying you could be the complex star of the show, it's just that your friends would be simple and predictable so we don't get too scattered in our focus.

actually, one of my old roommates from college had a group of girls like that in seattle for awhile before she started dating this one guy seriously. they went to bars and slept around, sat around and chatted about so-and-so and who-ze whatsit. one time they even wore depends diapers out for a night and peed in them! that's just like sex and the city! ha ha...err, or no? gross.

I'll do my best.

[hitmonlee]

question:
if you're part jew - i assume you mean one of your parents is jewish. but you do not believe in the jewish religion, you're just part of the jewish race? wouldn't you ex want someone who is actually interested in the religion part?