Personality hoarders

[Nuzzolese]

I have noticed that people will get angry and offended if I withold my true personality from them. It's not an aggressive anger or offense, just a mild one. I was simply civil to them but didn't show much more. And they assume I'm boring or something, then get shocked when they think I said something funny or they find out I got crunk at a party. I sort of hate that shock and offense. I think, well that's what you get for being so presumptuous.

And I feel the same odd sense of betrayal in myself when I find out that someone else I vaguely knew had a hidden sick sense of humor or a hidden wild side or a hidden noble and heroic past.

If you are a reserved person who waits until you are comfortable with someone before exposing your talents and humor and thoughts, then you might have experienced this before. Someone finally gets to know you after sort of knowing you for a while and they exclaim their disbelief that you could harbour such personality for so long without sharing it.

I have also gotten to know a few people, or caught hints from others, about those people who seemed quiet and reserved, that they had so much more to them.

It's the frustration that you've been sitting on hidden treasure and it's not their fault or yours but you wish you'd known. It's the reaction you get when you are caught watering your lush garden by someone who finally took the time to notice it, though you never TRIED to hide, it was only in the backyard.

I sort of love people who don't show off, and who have hidden gold in their personalities. I like the idea of hidden treasure. Then when you know them you feel lucky to have taken the time. But sometimes you feel hurt, like they hadn't wanted to share it with you before.

[Qdrop]

oh yeah...i get this personally.

my outward/social personality can vary greatly depending on the social setting.
i don't like attention, unless it is from close friends or a few (very few) onlookers....so i tend to be very quiet, reserved. people think i'm depressed or pissed off...but i'm not. i'm usually very content.

around people i know well, i am extremely loud and outspoken. i love to make jokes, perform, debate...all that shit.

it's always interesting when people who have seen me in one setting, see me in the other for the first time...they are usually very confused, and think me odd.

have you also noticed how people can often build you or others up in thier mind to be something...and then get very irritated or disapointed if you don't live up to it?
like my mother, or my girl will get angry if i say "ha...look at that retard....hahaha..." or "that chick is only good for fucking"...
and they'll both be like "BRADD!....that's not like you...stop it..."

well, umm...yeah..that is like me. i am kinda crass and vulgar. and i always have been. i'm not always like that all the time...but that is a part of my personality...and i enjoy it.

[kleptomaniac]

i'm anti-social but my friends all say i'm perverted and funny.


sorry i don't have this long-winded story for you. but you wouldn't read it anyway. just like how i didn't read yours

[Nuzzolese]

oh yeah...i get this personally.

my outward/social personality can vary greatly depending on the social setting.
i don't like attention, unless it is from close friends or a few (very few) onlookers....so i tend to be very quiet, reserved. people think i'm depressed or pissed off...but i'm not. i'm usually very content.

around people i know well, i am extremely loud and outspoken. i love to make jokes, perform, debate...all that shit.

it's always interesting when people who have seen me in one setting, see me in the other for the first time...they are usually very confused, and think me odd.

have you also noticed how people can often build you or others up in thier mind to be something...and then get very irritated or disapointed if you don't live up to it?
like my mother, or my girl will get angry if i say "ha...look at that retard....hahaha..." or "that chick is only good for fucking"...
and they'll both be like "BRADD!....that's not like you...stop it..."

well, umm...yeah..that is like me. i am kinda crass and vulgar. and i always have been. i'm not always like that all the time...but that is a part of my personality...and i enjoy it.

It's hard to all at once be conscious of a person's entire range of personality. You forget things about them or selectively ignore the unsavory parts. It's even worse when you don't see someone for a while. Absence makes the heart grow fonder because it makes the memory grow blurry and rose colored. Or maybe those girls tell you that's not like you because they don't want it to be like you and they hope it will be a self fullfilling prophecy.

Do you ever get frustrated with other people, though, for being unpredictable? We like predictable simple people who can be summed up in a 30 minute episode with commercials and camera cuts. That's why you'll never see someone complicated on The Real World. Those cast members narrow themselves down to be accessible to the audience. Then you go on MTV.com and find out they have all this past that if they'd displayed on the show, would have made them a little more sympathetic.

[abcdefz]

It's the frustration that you've been sitting on hidden treasure and it's not their fault or yours but you wish you'd known.





(y)

[Nuzzolese]

i'm anti-social but my friends all say i'm perverted and funny.


sorry i don't have this long-winded story for you. but you wouldn't read it anyway. just like how i didn't read yours

How do you know I wouldn't read it? I don't want a story, I'm just asking if you know what I'm talking about. I guess you don't. I guess you gave as much thought into it as you were capable.

[kleptomaniac]

i'm hoarding my personality from you

[Nuzzolese]

Nobody has any obligation to reveal themselves to everyone. Not everyone is constantly throwing out their A-game to attract as big an audience as possible. But even those who hold back still want to be entertained and might get let down to find out they'd been watching the director's cut....I hate my movie analogies.

[Nuzzolese]

i'm hoarding my personality from you

Then I'll never know what hidden treasures you have. Too bad for me, right? Oh those lucky ones who get to experience your wit and smarts and good time BBQs.

[Qdrop]

Do you ever get frustrated with other people, though, for being unpredictable? yeah, i have a best friend like that. actually...it's wierd. he IS predictable for the most part. he is primarily funny, compationate, jovial and loyal. but when he drinks, he USUALLY turns into a complete asshole.
so whenever he comes out, and starts drinking....everyone gets tense. we have no idea what we could be in for- it could be nothing, or it could be a gigantic, embarrassing scene.

We like predictable simple people who can be summed up in a 30 minute episode with commercials and camera cuts. well, i dunno. we do and we don't. humans have an evolutionary psychological tendancy to want to categorize things VERY quickly, for mental filing and organization. that's where the human trait of stereotyping stems from.
but that's not to say that we can't appreciate a complicated character...both in real life, and in media.

That's why you'll never see someone complicated on The Real World. Those cast members narrow themselves down to be accessible to the audience. Then you go on MTV.com and find out they have all this past that if they'd displayed on the show, would have made them a little more sympathetic. they cast those people purely on how attractive they are, and how emotionally impulsive they are. the emotion doesn't matter (anger, lust, jealousy, happiness)as long as it comes out completely impulsively- without composure or reservation.

[kleptomaniac]

i've been labeled the "quiet girl" at my school and nobody's ever gonna know the real me except me and my friends. (but even they don't know everything about me so... )


we just label everybody from what we've seen.



it's not like i've seen all of you either. this is just a messageboard after all.


that's it.

[Nuzzolese]

Okay Real World cast people were a bad example because we don't actually LIKE them, we just like watching them from a safe distance.

[Nuzzolese]

Is there even a REAL you? I mean, no one can know all of you because you are constantly changing every day and you're never going to be one combined result of everything that's ever happened to you. It doesn't have to get that deep.

[Qdrop]

Okay Real World cast people were a bad example because we don't actually LIKE them, we just like watching them from a safe distance.

i hate how the cast members always go on "bar/club tours" after the show...
they always ALWAYS stop in Rochester after the season...

local paper ad: "COME MEET (SO AND SO) FROM MTV'S REAL WORLD...AT TIKI BOBS NIGHTCLUB!"

like, who the fuck wants to go to a shitty club to see a few of the cast members sit at the bar and do shots...while people scream "hey....did you ever fuck (so and so)!?"

[Echewta]

I thought my exwife would know the real me. I don't think she did and I didn't her. Sad.

[kleptomaniac]

Is there even a REAL you?


yeah but nobody else is going to see that unless you revealed every single little thing. i wouldn't want anybody else to know that much, because then you just lose your identity...or whatever.

[Nuzzolese]

Even if you revealed everything to one person, they would still have their own take on you and it would be through their interpretation of you. I don;t think there is a single factual YOU that exists beyond time and situation. I think there is a different you every second that changes with the experience you get as time passes, and your reaction to things could be different now than it would be if you were to somehow time travel back and experience the same situation again. I think you are simultaneously carrying out a billion different possible actions at the same time until one is observed and then it becomes something else just by the obeserved person who isn't actually experiencing YOU but is experiencing him or herself observing you so really it's all about me.

[cosmo105]

i don't think i reveal my real self to myself, let alone anyone else

[kleptomaniac]

Even if you revealed everything to one person, they would still have their own take on you and it would be through their interpretation of you. I don;t think there is a single factual YOU that exists beyond time and situation. I think there is a different you every second that changes with the experience you get as time passes, and your reaction to things could be different now than it would be if you were to somehow time travel back and experience the same situation again. I think you are simultaneously carrying out a billion different possible actions at the same time until one is observed and then it becomes something else just by the obeserved person who isn't actually experiencing YOU but is experiencing him or herself observing you so really it's all about me.

yeah that was pretty confusing. you thought waaay into it, huh?

[Nuzzolese]

Okay, so do you get mad at yourself when you reveal to yourself hidden parts of your personality? And you're like "COSMO why were you holding out on Cosmo?!"

[Nuzzolese]

yeah that was pretty confusing. you thought waaay into it, huh?

It didn't take too much thinking power, it's just hard to explain. Waaay into it, like totally I'm a fucking airhead OMG

[cosmo105]

Okay, so do you get mad at yourself when you reveal to yourself hidden parts of your personality? And you're like "COSMO why were you holding out on Cosmo?!"
haha yeah. no i kind of like when i realize something about myself that i didn't know. because usually it's like, "see, you aren't so bad after all."

[kleptomaniac]

so are the hidden parts of your personality like the hidden easter eggs on a dvd, nuzz?

[Echewta]

My hidden personality is like Kato from Total Recall. I don't show him much because it tends to freak out people.

[Nuzzolese]

so are the hidden parts of your personality like the hidden easter eggs on a dvd, nuzz?

appropriately phrased. But those are intentionally hidden. Mine aren't really. I just forget that they're there.

[Nuzzolese]

haha yeah. no i kind of like when i realize something about myself that i didn't know. because usually it's like, "see, you aren't so bad after all."

And you of course refer to yourself as Cosmo. When I discover hidden or unexpected sides to my personality I usually freak out with an identity crisis like "wtf this is who you are?! Is this what you've become?! Do you LIKE this? Are you HAPPY like this?! Ugh!"

[cosmo105]

and then there's the side where it's "oh my god you're wallowing in your hate for him/her AGAIN?? what's wrong with you?!"

[Nuzzolese]

You can't control what makes you laugh, and that's such a nakedness to yourslef. I laugh at the dumbest stuff and I can't help it. I want to only laugh at highbrow humor and smart jokes and witticisms but when someone falls down or walks funny or talks funny or bumps their head...I'm done for.

[kleptomaniac]

appropriately phrased. But those are intentionally hidden. Mine aren't really. I just forget that they're there.


but press the right buttons and....you see something noone's ever seen before

[fucktopgirl]

anyway nothing is real,its just an accumulation of subjectives perception, a creation of our own,,,so,,,i mean ,,well nothing really!

[Sarky Devotchka]

I'm shy. I'm getting way better though. When I hold back now, or in the past, it's because I'm afraid of judgement or rejection. Or sometimes I just don't care about making someone else feel comfortable (which is really what polite small talk is about).

in high school I was very quiet and once I was out with my basketball team and said something mildly amusing and they all laughed and were like, "omg! I never knew you were so funny!" and I just thought "uhh, thanks?"

I guess now I don't even mind the whole personality reveal. It's kind of funny to me, because I know that I'm awesome and hilarious to begin with and these people who think I'm a wallflower don't even know. I do wish I could be more outgoing though. *sigh*

[cosmo105]

You can't control what makes you laugh, and that's such a nakedness to yourslef. I laugh at the dumbest stuff and I can't help it. I want to only laugh at highbrow humor and smart jokes and witticisms but when someone falls down or walks funny or talks funny or bumps their head...I'm done for.
people falling down = always hilarious.

[abcdefz]

For me, it's a two-edged sword.

On one hand, I know that your average person finds me a little challenging for all kinds of reasons: some their problem, some mine. So I tend to not be very forthright in front of strangers or people I haven't made some connection with.

On the other hand, I do feel like I should just "be myself" and consequences be damned. But I don't like feeling alien as often as I do in those situations, which is why Hand #1 tends to be my default 70% of the time.

I'm waaaayyyyyy more self-conscious than I'd like to be. I know exactly where that came from -- a certain period in my life where I desperately needed to learn "cool" -- and I wish I could just quash it.

[hpdrifter]

I usually have the opposite problem. I display too much of my personality and then get freaked out that people know too much about me and may be passing judgement.

[zippo]

so perfectly understood, yes. its with the people im not interested in much that i dont present myself 100% to, its becasue i know we couldnt really get anywhere doing so, its like the limited polite attitude one has when talking to a boss or proffesional acquantainces, you have to interact but youve put on your limits, its ilke youve already got direct or specific goals with these people, youve got the directions to where you have to get with them and you know how to get there, so you dont need much effort for that, you only need a, say, 60% you.

another thing, few things attract me more than a reserved, introverted, quiet person and the challenge of getting to know them and opening them up. some of my friends are my trophies throughout the years.

[abcdefz]

another thing, few things attract me more than a reserved, introverted, quiet person and the challenge of getting to know them and opening them up. some of my friends are my trophies throughout the years.




....it's such a drag when it turns out that they're just stupid, though. :D

[TurdBerglar]

sometimes im incredibly shy and sometimes im a complete obnoxious loudmouth. but not the bad type of obnoxious loudmouth. i don't get what makes me be shy or loud. it seems to be completely random

[TurdBerglar]

oh shit!

sarky played basketball? kickass

[Nuzzolese]

....it's such a drag when it turns out that they're just stupid, though. :D

Heh. When there's less to them than meets the eye.

[abcdefz]

Heh. When there's less to them than meets the eye.





...real acquaintance material. (y)

[ScarySquirrel]

I immediately reveal my loud, obnoxious, offensive side to hide the kitten-ball of sensitivity and chivalry that's inside me. True story.

[abcdefz]

I immediately reveal my loud, obnoxious, offensive side to hide the kitten-ball of sensitivity and chivalry that's inside me. True story.


Chivalrous kittenballs?

[ScarySquirrel]

Sure, why not?

Plus it makes people think I'm not as smart as I really am... which is kind of cool for some reason. Not to say that I'm a genius or anything... but I've got a little bit more going on under the hood than I like to let on.

[TurdBerglar]

i play dumb too!

[fucktopgirl]

for real,it depend with whom i am,with some people you just dont want to give them much of yourself and others its just natural.Usually i am an outspoken person and dont give a shit about how people perceive me but i can be quite recluse sometimes too!ITs all relatif to the degree of connection you have with people!I think!

[Nuzzolese]

You two aren't very good at playing dumb. The acting shows.

[synch]

Chivalrous kittenballs?
Sensitive chivalrous kittenballs.

[ScarySquirrel]

You two aren't very good at playing dumb. The acting shows.
Well, I don't really attempt to play dumb on here. I just kind of let things flow and I think those that are paying attention get a fairly good idea of what I'm kind of about. Sometimes I get goofy, sometimes I'm a prick, sometimes I'm just kind of bland and boring... probably like right now. But, nah, I don't really do the dumb it down thing here. It only becomes amusing when I can see people's reactions instead of just reading them... y'know?

[Nuzzolese]

It seems like you've gotten a lot cockier over the last couple of years. If I were talking to you in person I wouldn't tell the truth, that I don't think you're dumb, just not interesting to me, as in I don't think we have anything to talk about, which isn't an insult unless you especially wanted you and me to have a big 'ole friendship here.