How do you tell someone...

[miss_bhaven]

that they need to see someone of a somewhat psychological service? Someone fairly close to me, I believe needs help. Sounds a bit harsh, but I'm worried for their own life...I'm scared they might do something extremely stupid. They've been through alot and are too stubborn to face their issues head on. I try to help and they either don't want to talk about it, or ignores it completely. I don't know what to do :( If I say that they need help, there's no doubt they'll tell me to fuk off...and I really don't want that, I truly care for this person and I'm shit scared.

[Ace42X]

Don't, just get them sectioned, much more entertaining for all involved.

[DigitalB]

You can only help someone who wants to be helped. Its a tough one, I have been through something along those lines and it didnt end nicely.

[insertnamehere]

im 95% sure my best friend is bi-polar. if its not that, its something more rare but at least equally as bad, if not worse. all his close friends that know what he's gone though have recommended that he got some help but he wont. heh, i guess i cant talk, ive had numerous people reccomend that i go to someone and i wont. we lean on each other with our craziness.

[miss_bhaven]

You can only help someone who wants to be helped. Its a tough one, I have been through something along those lines and it didnt end nicely.

Yeah this person is really stubborn and doesn't want anyone's help...

[alexandra]

You can only help someone who wants to be helped.
exactly.

one thing you can do tho' is make sure that the person knows you're there for himslashher.

[TAL]

It's Tzar, right?

[Echewta]

You tell them. If someones arm was a bloody stump and they didn't notice, wouldn't you say something? If they dont want help, thats their stupidity. But you should say something. "I care about you and I've noticed..."
If they get all defensive, its probably because the def. mech. has kicked in because they probably already realize they need help.

And seriously folks, who wants to be happy and healthy? Not me, thats for sure.

[QueenAdrock]

Yeah this person is really stubborn and doesn't want anyone's help...

Sounds exactly like my friend. Afraid that if you tell them that they need help, they'll lash out? And take it as an insult and a personal attack? That's what my friend would do, but she needs serious help.

I think also if they're over 18 they can't be institutionalized against their will. Though most institutions in the US fuckin' suck anyways. Some of my friends thought I was going to commit suicide in high school (long story, not getting into it, but short answer: NO), so my mom put me in an institution for 3 days and they then let me loose, saying I was "cured of my depression." Yeah right I was worse afterwards.

ANNNYWAYS, institutionalization sucks, and telling them right out will probably be a bitch, so um...warn whoever they live with to keep an eye on them, and tell them you're there for them if they want to talk, and stay around them and take them out and do nice things and let them know they're loved. Then somewhere down the line, bring it up *EVER SO NICELY* like "You seem like you're sad sometimes. Do you think you could benefit from seeing a professional?" And then bring up that you have a friend (it can be imaginary) who saw a shrink and is much happier now that she's gotten her problems figured out. That way, if they snap at you, you can honestly say you just care about them and want to see them happy.

[Anne Lauren]

Just curious...What behaviors are your friends doing that make you in turn feel that they "need help"? And this is just merely a comment...but, people react to stress and hard times in their lives in different ways. What is the definition of "normal"? If they're effecting their lives and/or other's in a "harmful" manner...then there needs to be an intervention.

I worked in a children's psychiatric hospital for a little while and I agree that there definately needs to be some improvements made, over all, in the methods. The anger breeds off everyone and spreads. It's almost like their expected to act crazy. That's just who they are...so, they act that way.

[miss_bhaven]

It's Tzar, right?

Haha, naw it's not Matt :p

[miss_bhaven]

Just curious...What behaviors are your friends doing that make you in turn feel that they "need help"? And this is just merely a comment...but, people react to stress and hard times in their lives in different ways. What is the definition of "normal"? If they're effecting their lives and/or other's in a "harmful" manner...then there needs to be an intervention.

Problem is, this person is a councellor themselves...which makes it a shitload harder, because they think they can help themselves without anyone else's help. They have said they simply don't give a shit about anyone or anything and doesn't want to be here anymore...'here' meaning not wanting to live anymore...:( Ah, I don't know.

[Anne Lauren]

Problem is, this person is a councellor themselves...which makes it a shitload harder, because they think they can help themselves without anyone else's help. They have said they simply don't give a shit about anyone or anything and doesn't want to be here anymore...'here' meaning not wanting to live anymore...:( Ah, I don't know.


Do you feel that they truely mean that? Like, do you believe that they would actually be capable of going through with it? They may feel it and want it at the time because they feel like there is no alternative...like it's too hard to cope with and they are emotionally drained and don't have the strength to overcome the pain. In that case, all you can do is listen and not get mad at them when they say or do things that might hurt you. Forgiveness and putting up with a lot of shit...seriously. The year before last was absolute hell for me. I mean, it was a nightmare and I felt all those feelings. What helped for me was just haveing someone to listen to me and not make judgements...over and over again...I'm sure it was hell for them.

[miss_bhaven]

and not get mad at them when they say or do things that might hurt you.

Yeah, except alot of shit that this person says when they're spilling their guts does effect and hurt me...alot...and I can't help but get upset, cuz I'm a pretty emotionally weak person. Hum! All I can do is be there for them and listen to them when they need me. I just wish I could do something more...

[Tzar]

It's Tzar, right?
:(

[Anne Lauren]

Yeah, except alot of shit that this person says when they're spilling their guts does effect and hurt me...alot...and I can't help but get upset, cuz I'm a pretty emotionally weak person. Hum! All I can do is be there for them and listen to them when they need me. I just wish I could do something more...

Well, just remember that you're not this person's mother or babysitter. Your friend is an adult and makes their own decisions. You're not responsible for their actions. All you can do is try your best. Good Luck!

[Tzar]

Well, just remember that you're not this person's mother or babysitter. Your friend is an adult and makes their own decisions. You're not responsible for their actions. All you can do is try your best. Good Luck!
that's right (y)


ps. it ain't me

and why does Firefox search for a word when i press '

[Anne Lauren]

that's right (y)


ps. it ain't me

and why does Firefox search for a word when i press '

Can't help ya there, bud. I have no idea what your talking about, actually.

[Tzar]

Can't help ya there, bud. I have no idea what your talking about, actually.
no-one ever does. :(


FUCK OFF, I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!

[Anne Lauren]

no-one ever does. :(


FUCK OFF, I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!

Why don't you and your little retarded questions fuck off? (lb)

[Tzar]

whoa!

wasn't expecting that. hahahaha. i win.

[Anne Lauren]

whoa!

wasn't expecting that. hahahaha. i win.

Nope...I win! You loooooooooose! (n)