SEX thread. I am not getting any. Are you?

[LongDuckDong]

Yeah. Tell me about it.

[TurdBerglar]

oh great

[paul jones]

no,it's depressing,isn't it?

[wanton wench]

sex is like air.....................its not a big deal unless you aint gettin any!
:D

[DandyFop]

I really hate the smell of semen.

[TurdBerglar]

I really hate the smell of semen.


it smells like clorox. i bleach my socks and when my feet sweat it smells like jizz

[TurdBerglar]

you shouldn't wipe your jizz with your socks then


i use my undershirts

[tulla]

ya know, i really don't mind the smell of semen.

i get sex every once in a while. like every couple of weeks.

all i really want is to get it on a regular basis though.

[TurdBerglar]

boy are you saying you can jizz from your feet now?


come back down to earth

[TurdBerglar]

ya know, i really don't mind the smell of semen.

i get sex every once in a while. like every couple of weeks.

all i really want is to get it on a regular basis though.


what about the taste? do you mind that? what does it even taste like?

[insertnamehere]

i never noticed jizz had much of a smell. ive never sniffed any up close though.

[CrankItUp!]

You just might impregnate a chick with your toes - so you better cap em all with balloons first. (y)

[Anne Lauren]

Actually, as of recently I've noticed a major change in my sex drive. I'm acting like some teenage boy or something...everything reminds me of sex and I'm constantly thinking about it.

[miss_bhaven]

Is 'being' with a grrl, considered 'sex'? :D

[Anne Lauren]

This past summer I went to this event called Wild In The Woods. It takes place every summer and is sponsored by various businesses around town to raise money for charity. Some wealthy man lets everybody party on some land that he owns, like 3 acres, and you buy a ticket for it. It's basically this huge party where there's bands, food, and everybody gets fucked up and does whatever they want and you camp out in the woods. It's insane! Seriously, people running around naked, etc... Well, around 3am I lost all my friends and I was so fucked up and tired, so I decided to try and pass out on some random fold out chair that belonged to somebody. Anyway, I ran into this guy, Matt, that used to hang out with my ex-boyfriend growing up. I hadn't seem him in years. It was crazy. We just knew each other through my ex and we're never really that close. I never really noticed him that much before. He was just laidback, but cool as hell. Anyway, we decide to hang out because I lost my ride. Well, he tells me that he always had a big crush on me growing up and then suddenly kisses me. It took me off guard. I was so fucked up and tired that I told him I was getting ready to pass out...which I seriously was. So, we lay down in his tent. And I don't know what came over me...maybe the craziness all around...I don't know, but we start makin' out hard core. I had no inhibitions at this point, so I just let loose. I mean, we touched each other in ways I've never been touched before. And, I remember looking at him and he was sexy as hell. He was gettin' off seeing me get off. Damn! I've never been so turned on before. It was the best sexual experience I've ever had! And the setting made it even more intense because sex was everywhere. And it was bizarre that I was doing this with Matt of all people. I never in a million years ever thought this would happen between us. Seriously, I can honestly say that I will always remember that time!

[avignon]

for me, i don't call it "cocksnot" for nothing
heeheehee cocksnot.

[DapperDiverge]

Nope...not gettin' any business over here... all I got is what you see on display... if nobody likes it, there's another store down the street cuz I'm not about to change my suppliers...

hey just curious... I haven't done this but has anyone ever put food on their genitals and let their dog or cat lick it off??

and if so...ummmm, does that count?? cuz maybe I'd consider getting a dog then :D

[monkey]

im getting some. actually, im getting a lot. im gonna leave this thread now, before i get eggs thrown at me.

[HEIRESS]

Im not
:/



semen smells like yeasty bread thats in a bowl with a blue dishtowel laid over it which was left to rise in the window via the heat of the sun

[ILLMIX]

Im not
:/


:confused: :eek: :rolleyes:

suppose some pieces of some puzzle don't fit¿

[Rancid_Beasties]

semen smells like yeasty bread thats in a bowl with a blue dishtowel laid over it which was left to rise in the window via the heat of the sun
Is that your opinion as a scientist?

[miss soul fire]

Sex has a very bad smell.

[P of R]

Nope, not getting any.

At the moment I don't want any anyway.

[alexandra]

yes + no.


interpret that however you want. :D

[Kid Presentable]

I'm getting the sex you put shoulders into.

[bigblu89]

The wife is way too pregnant to be interested in sex.

So I guess that would be a no for me.

[Kid Presentable]

The wife is way too pregnant to be interested in sex.

So I guess that would be a no for me.

Not even from behind?

Man, ask a pregnant chick, I'm waaayy too into pregnancy. I'd be giving it a shot if I were you.

The sex we're having now makes the cat come inside to see what all the hollering's about.

[Chad the Lad]

:) liked that one ^

yeah im getting some, ive been loved up with the same girl for like two years, the sex is amazing! the best ive had. i'd put it down to how well we know each other. :p

[fucktopgirl]

The wife is way too pregnant to be interested in sex.

So I guess that would be a no for me.


how far is she pregnate??

me when i was pregnate i was horny,,even tough i find my body so so.It was just nice to make love without worrying about beeing pregnate!!! :D

[bigblu89]

She's got about 5 weeks to go.

When she was first pregnant, the idea of being able to sex with out worrying about getting pregnant really got her going, but lately she's been just ehh about the idea of sex.

It's all good though.

[Rock]

She's got about 5 weeks to go.

When she was first pregnant, the idea of being able to sex with out worrying about getting pregnant really got her going, but lately she's been just ehh about the idea of sex.

It's all good though.
are you gonna ask for an extra stitch for daddy?

[cookiepuss]

are you gonna ask for an extra stitch for daddy?

hahaha! My sister embarased the hell out her husband after their first was born. She was still doped up after delivery and they were stiching her up. She says: "Oh honey, honey! Don't you want to tell the doctor somthing?"
Hubby: "um......No"
Sis: "yeah ya do! You wanna tel the doctor to sew it up tighter than it was before...ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaaaaaa!" :o

my sister is such a dork.

[Echewta]

You certainly dont want your child coming out looking like Popeye.

[miss soul fire]

But isn't sex boring once you got married?? I've learned on TV with Al Bundy. :p

[Rock]

But isn't sex boring once you got married?? I've learned on TV with Al Bundy. :p
Sex isn't boring once you get married. Its just boring with your wife. *romshit*

[Echewta]

What I do with my hands is my own business.

[QueenAdrock]

Sex is overrated, it's really nothing without it being with someone worthwhile.
(y) Exactly how I feel.

[miss soul fire]

Sex isn't boring once you get married. Its just boring with your wife. *romshit*
That's right romshit. I bet your wife is getting lots of sex from real men! Woooo!

[Rock]

I'm not married.

[hpdrifter]

I'm getting it regular.

My boyfriend and I are still in the initial phase when its all still a little new and we haven't done everything to each other yet. Its awesome. We get each other going like crazy.

[miss soul fire]

I'm not married.
Of course, no one would marry you.

[Rock]

Of course, no one would marry you.
Damn...lots of hate in you, its adorable.
I'm not married yet....i will be in April.

[kll]

Of course, no one would marry you.

I would marry Rock.

[TAL]

Can you smell what he's cooking?

[miss soul fire]

Damn...lots of hate in you, its adorable.
I'm not married yet....i will be in April.
What's his name??

[Rock]

What's his name??
Hiiihiiihiiiii!

[Nuzzolese]

I've got this sweet, polite boyfriend. We've advanced slowly, which makes each new thing so exciting because of the prolonged anticipation of it. I like it.

[miss soul fire]

Hiiihiiihiiiii!
One of my favourite names!

[Rock]

I would marry Rock.
Who's your daddy!?!

[kll]

<3

[hpdrifter]

I've got this sweet, polite boyfriend. We've advanced slowly, which makes each new thing so exciting because of the prolonged anticipation of it. I like it.

That's such a great time in a relationship.

[kll]

That's such a great time in a relationship.


oh yes. the good ol' days... lucky nuzz...

[Nuzzolese]

I kind of look forward to the casual days though, when you can both sit together and do different things and not worry about paying attention to one another or wasting precious together time.

[bigblu89]

I kind of look forward to the casual days though, when you can both sit together and do different things and not worry about paying attention to one another or wasting precious together time.

Each era of a relationship has it's pro's and con's.

After 8.5 years, I'm obviously in that 2nd stage, but as long as everysooften you have one of those days that reverts back to the beginning of the relationship, it's all gravy.

[b-grrrlie]

Sex is overrated, it's really nothing without it being with someone worthwhile.
I think too sex is way too overrated. Sometimes I've had several years inbetween (winning over Rivers Cuomo by miles!) and then when I've gotten it again at last it felt like "What was the fuss about?" Could've been much better without....

[kll]

Each era of a relationship has it's pro's and con's.

After 8.5 years, I'm obviously in that 2nd stage, but as long as everysooften you have one of those days that reverts back to the beginning of the relationship, it's all gravy.

well said...

[hpdrifter]

I haven't gotten the hang of the long term thing yet. My relationship with my ex-fiance lasted 4 and a half years. And the last year we were basically glorified roommates. We tried date nights and reigniting the spark but it just seemed to be... gone.

How do you know when there's something there to save and when the relationship has just run its course?

[kll]

I think you know it's run its course when you'd rather go to sleep than have sex night after night after night. I think it's run its course if you look at him and don't get that "special" feeling.

[Rancid_Beasties]

Can you smell what he's cooking?
THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!!!