DandyFop
01-12-2006, 04:23 PM
So, my friend, I'll call her J, we've known each other since the drama department days in high school. She's always been kinda out there, but whatever, in high school we were all crazy. The problem is, she's really become one of those friends that you have to babysit everytime you hang out...like it can be embarrassing to bring her to public places.
I'm trying to think of how to explain how she acts...She never understands anything, we always have to repeat things like 12 times and then she still usually doesn't get it. Now, she does have a learning disorder and I think that has something to do with it, but I swear to god, if she would just listen, she would get it. And the worst part is, if she doesn't understand, often times she'll just pretend that she does, and then say things that mean absolutely no sense.
She's completely embarrassing around guys...if they have shaggy hair she practically has an orgasm, though I'm not sure she even knows what an orgasm is (she didn't know what we meant the other night when someone said "penetration"). She wears GALLONS of perfume so that every time she gets in the car it's totally overwhelming and instant headache.
Okay, now the big thing - HER MOTHER. Her mom is bonafide CRAZY. She makes J call her everywhere she goes - and then she will call J's friends at like 1 or 2 in the morning if she doesn't know where J is. Seriously, she did this recently, and I wanted to be like YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING CALL ME ANY TIME. Her mom bought her a damn expensive bike that J has never/will never use, instead of something she needs like a fucking cell phone.
Here's a story that will show you the craziness - one time we were in southern utah for a drama convention. J had some nightmare and woke up all scared and crying and her mom told us on the phone we had to like bathe her in her swimsuit (i didn't have to so I don't remember very well). Then she calls her mom and we hear her repeating something back to her mom along the lines of "I am a beautiful butterfly...I am God's child". Yeah.
It gets to the point where I have to avoid her a lot of the time because I just can't handle it. She's a sweet girl, but I don't want to babysit a damn 22 year old at this point in my life. Also, we always have to change plans because she never has money (I don't know how, she has two jobs, but I think her lazy fatass mother won't get a real job, she's a crossing guard), so if we're like "oh we're going to the bar", she has a problem paying the 3 dollar cover fee or whatever. BLAH. What do I do?? It's impossible to solve all of these problems, but she's just so damn frustrating and I'm afraid I'm gonna blow up at her at some point. She latches on to me more than anyone else, but I don't feel like she even knows who I am very well. Like, she gave me some keychain that said "If all the world is a stage, men need better lines", but not as a stupid joke, like most people would. She also gave me some guy that you press and says things like "oh honey, I'll make dinner tonight". She has no grip of my sense of humor, she gives this things to me in earnest, like some damn secretary joke. BLAH!
Jesus this is long. Most of you won't read it, I'm sure. I'll try to think of other crazy examples, because I'm not sure it really came across here...
I'm trying to think of how to explain how she acts...She never understands anything, we always have to repeat things like 12 times and then she still usually doesn't get it. Now, she does have a learning disorder and I think that has something to do with it, but I swear to god, if she would just listen, she would get it. And the worst part is, if she doesn't understand, often times she'll just pretend that she does, and then say things that mean absolutely no sense.
She's completely embarrassing around guys...if they have shaggy hair she practically has an orgasm, though I'm not sure she even knows what an orgasm is (she didn't know what we meant the other night when someone said "penetration"). She wears GALLONS of perfume so that every time she gets in the car it's totally overwhelming and instant headache.
Okay, now the big thing - HER MOTHER. Her mom is bonafide CRAZY. She makes J call her everywhere she goes - and then she will call J's friends at like 1 or 2 in the morning if she doesn't know where J is. Seriously, she did this recently, and I wanted to be like YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING CALL ME ANY TIME. Her mom bought her a damn expensive bike that J has never/will never use, instead of something she needs like a fucking cell phone.
Here's a story that will show you the craziness - one time we were in southern utah for a drama convention. J had some nightmare and woke up all scared and crying and her mom told us on the phone we had to like bathe her in her swimsuit (i didn't have to so I don't remember very well). Then she calls her mom and we hear her repeating something back to her mom along the lines of "I am a beautiful butterfly...I am God's child". Yeah.
It gets to the point where I have to avoid her a lot of the time because I just can't handle it. She's a sweet girl, but I don't want to babysit a damn 22 year old at this point in my life. Also, we always have to change plans because she never has money (I don't know how, she has two jobs, but I think her lazy fatass mother won't get a real job, she's a crossing guard), so if we're like "oh we're going to the bar", she has a problem paying the 3 dollar cover fee or whatever. BLAH. What do I do?? It's impossible to solve all of these problems, but she's just so damn frustrating and I'm afraid I'm gonna blow up at her at some point. She latches on to me more than anyone else, but I don't feel like she even knows who I am very well. Like, she gave me some keychain that said "If all the world is a stage, men need better lines", but not as a stupid joke, like most people would. She also gave me some guy that you press and says things like "oh honey, I'll make dinner tonight". She has no grip of my sense of humor, she gives this things to me in earnest, like some damn secretary joke. BLAH!
Jesus this is long. Most of you won't read it, I'm sure. I'll try to think of other crazy examples, because I'm not sure it really came across here...