Total shock...

[Anne Lauren]

My highschool sends all the alumni newsletters in the mail about twice a year updating them about what's going on with the school and with all the other alumni, etc...I went to a private school. Anyway, I got one in the mail today after work, so I was kinda scanning through it and noticed in the section, In Memoriam of..., where they list all the people that died and the year they graduated...one of my friends, Camie, was listed. It totally took me off guard and I had to re-read it a couple of times to make sure I was reading it correctly. I had no idea. We were pretty good friends in highschool...like she had been over at my house before and stuff like that, but I hadn't seen her in years. We went off to different colleges and just lost touch. Well, I ran into her at the grocery store this past summer before I moved to Atlanta. We talked and she said she was living in Charleston....So, anyway, I called my best friend, Alicia, who also was friends with her in highschool and asked her if she knew what had happened to her. She made some phone calls and called me back and said that she had apparently died from a heartattack caused from years of eatting disorders. I told Alicia I was wondering what the whole story was because Camie was a healthy 26 year old...apparently except for the eatting disorder. In order to have a heartattack that serious to die...it had to have been from years of hardcore abuse done to her body and, more than likely, she was taking other stuff to maybe supress her appetite or something, that was really straining her heart.

Man, I had no idea! When I saw her this past summer she looked thin, but in a good way...nothing alarming or anything. She's always looked good and I don't ever recall anything strange with her eatting habits or anything, growing up. Maybe it was there and I just didn't notice or have forgotten about it. The whole idea that Camie's dead seems so surreal right now to me. I'm shocked by the whole thing. It's been a total reality check as to really how mortal we all are.

[mp-seventythree]

A guy in my office died last year from a heart attack at the age of 26. It was a total shock, I had been on leave for a few days, came back and someone just came up and said "Gareth died two days ago".
He was heavily over weight and died in his sleep, but apparently he had a heart disorder that had never been noticed.

[Anne Lauren]

A guy in my office died last year from a heart attack at the age of 26. It was a total shock, I had been on leave for a few days, came back and someone just came up and said "Gareth died two days ago".
He was heavily over weight and died in his sleep, but apparently he had a heart disorder that had never been noticed.

I definately want to find out more about what happened. But, from the very little and more than likely not very accurate amount of information that I do know about it...I have a feeling that she might have had a heart disorder or something like that, that she never knew about and might have never been an issue if she hadn't had strained it to the degree she did from her "eatting disorder". Kinda like John Ritter suddenly dieing from a heart attack that was caused from a heart defect that he was born with and never knew about because it had never been an issue until he got older and his heart wasn't as healthy as it was when he was younger. I mean, I know there is some more underlying factors to her dying suddenly like that at such a young age. It just doesn't physically make sense....it would have taken a lot more than strain caused from years of an "eatting disorder" (which would include years of extreme weight fluctuation and drugs that put pressure on her heart by speeding it up and were ultimately used to supress her appetite) for her to die from it only at the age of 26, unless her heart was weak to begin with...26 is just too young. Now, maybe in her 30's or 40's...and then again that's from putting extreme strain on her heart for many many years. From growing up and then when I saw her last summer...her weight was about the same and she looked healthy. I don't know...the whole thing's bizarre. And I wouldn't dare call her parents to find out.

[cookiepuss]

it sounds like you're in denial over her eating disorder. It is possible for her to die from complications due to a prolonged eating disorder, without a preexhisting condition. Just because she looked healthy when you saw her last doesn't mean she didn't have a problem. Many people with eating disorders stuggle with them for years and receive treatment for them over time. since it sounds like you whent some extended periods without seeing her, then maybe you never saw her during the times when her eating disorder was more severe.

I think what you're dealing with here is actually your shock over that fact that your friend died and at such a young age. And there for you have to question the method in which she passed and why. Pefectly normal. But the real issue here is how could someone, my friend, so close in age to me, die? There are no answers and it makes you question everything.

My best advice to you would not be to dwell on the hows and why, but deal wth the feelings of loss for your friend. Because that's the bottom line. you've lost a friend and you need to let yourself heal over that.

[kaiser soze]

man =(

sorry to hear

I wonder about all the people who have been in my life. I pray they are ok!

it's a weird feeling that people you were once close with may be gone without you knowing

[Anne Lauren]

it sounds like you're in denial over her eating disorder. It is possible for her to die from complications due to a prolonged eating disorder, without a preexhisting condition. Just because she looked healthy when you saw her last doesn't mean she didn't have a problem. Many people with eating disorders stuggle with them for years and receive treatment for them over time. since it sounds like you whent some extended periods without seeing her, then maybe you never saw her during the times when her eating disorder was more severe.

I think what you're dealing with here is actually your shock over that fact that your friend died and at such a young age. And there for you have to question the method in which she passed and why. Pefectly normal. But the real issue here is how could someone, my friend, so close in age to me, die? There are no answers and it makes you question everything.

My best advice to you would not be to dwell on the hows and why, but deal wth the feelings of loss for your friend. Because that's the bottom line. you've lost a friend and you need to let yourself heal over that.

Death freaks me out, in general, because it's so unknown and final. It's not really denial...more like, "Wow...Camie's experienceing right now the "after life". I wonder what it's like?" Death to me, and I figure like a lot of other people, is one of those things that you know is inevitable, but extremely scary to think about. So, you put it in the back of your mind because you figure you got some time...after you "live life" by meeting the man of your dreams and having children, pay on your mortgage, fight with your spouse over money and your kid getting in trouble in school, then retire, your kids are grown and your starting to deal with medicare issues...then by that time you're 80 years old and worn out with life and have found peace with yourself and ready to pass on. I guess deep down inside I'm terrified that something like that will happen to me and I won't be ready...so I, like many people, try and justify it. Like saying..."Oh, she must have had a faulty heart..." When the bottom line is that there's not a set pattern in life....you can die at anytime. The whole thing just seems so wrong and unfair to me...that she spent all that time and money on education and working and trying to plan her life in ways to "better" it for her future, and for what...nothing, she is no more. It does not matter, now.

[DandyFop]

Death doesn't scare me. A long painful death, perhaps, but the finality of death, no.

[cookiepuss]

The whole thing just seems so wrong and unfair to me...that she spent all that time and money on education and working and trying to plan her life in ways to "better" it for her future, and for what...nothing, she is no more. It does not matter, now.

It is unfair, but just remember it's not for nothing. her life touched other lives and that made a difference. everything she worked towards, all her experiences helped her soul to grow, so it's not for nothing.

[Anne Lauren]

It is unfair, but just remember it's not for nothing. her life touched other lives and that made a difference. everything she worked towards, all her experiences helped her soul to grow, so it's not for nothing.

Oh yeah, I know! Like I said, I hadn't been close to her in years...I guess, just finding out about it brought back feeling of doubt that I hadn't thought about in months...questioning the purpose everything. And I'm by no means wanting to get too personal or deep here...just merely thinking out loud, I guess. Like I did everything "by the books" and not just that, but it just happened that way...like a movie or something. I finished college...partied and got it out of my system and had a great time. Then, randomly, and I mean random...totally wasn't looking for it or even wanting it and it just happened, like it was too good to be true...met the "the man of my dreams". And I'm by no means a cheesy person, but, we couldn't have fallen in love more fantasy-like than we did. It was like no one else was on the face of the earth...we were perfect for each other. People were so envious of me and I had no idea what they must have felt like. So, I got a great job and we got married. Then, I found out I was pregnant. It was the first grandchild and my parents were so happy. During this time my sister was dealing with issues of her boyfriend committing suicide...so she was completely living a nightmare and kinda almost hated me in a way. Then, randomly out of nowhere...Bam! It was all taken away from me. I had a miscarriage and our relationship started going down hill. He had an affair, so I cheated on him, etc. It was an unbareably painful breakup. Then, I had to move back home and started hanging out with my friends again drinking at bars, like I in college again or something. Everything that I ideally wanted was taken away from me and I did nothing wrong...and I had to start from square one again, I felt like. And I did...and I moved on a completely different person for the better.

Anyway...like I said, everybody has their shit. And I'm by no means looking for pity because I don't feel pitiful. And me saying all this is not about that...it's, I don't know...more or less of giving a personal example in my life where things randomly happen and it seems so wrong and unfair, but it's just life. Like, I mentioned earlier...there is definately no set pattern in life. Things will completely catch you off guard...that's for sure.