Marriage and Job, Love and Self-fulfillment

[Nuzzolese]

Is marriage mostly about love and adoration?
Is a job mostly about self fulfillment and personal expression?

Why have I been brought up to believe so? It seems unrealistically idealistic.
Maybe these notions are relatively modern, and are the sources of common disatisfaction with both.

If you reach for what you think is your glass of coke, accidentally drinking from a glass of tea, it tastes like terrible coke; when really it's perfectly satisfying tea, it's just that you were expecting something different. And your expectations are what ruin the experience, not the experience itself being displeasing.

(People hate my analogies. They think they sound really lame and stupid like I went to the "Natalie Portman in Garden State School of Philosophy")

[adam_f]

Originally posted by Nuzzolese
(People hate my analogies. They think they sound really lame and stupid like I went to the "Natalie Portman in Garden State School of Philosophy")

I don't mind your analogies. I just want to suffocate Natalie Portman.

[cosmo105]

haha. yeah, i want to decapitate that movie.

i know exactly what you mean about the coke/iced tea thing. god, every time i go out to eat with my mom. well, at least when i was a kid. now i always get either water or tea myself. and she gets wine.

remember my "mawwaige" thread? i was thinking about that the other day.

i don't think marriage is just about love and adoration. it's a deal. it's a committment - and that whole when 2 become 1 thing. *spice girls* at least, it should be.

a job...well, a job is about making a living. if you enjoy it, good for you. if not, welcome to the club.

[adam_f]

Marriage is like a four year contract with incentives. At the end of the fourth year, you either file for free agency or re-sign for another four.

That was fantastic, adam. I'm proud of you.

[Bob]

Is marriage mostly about love and adoration?
Is a job mostly about self fulfillment and personal expression?

Why have I been brought up to believe so? It seems unrealistically idealistic.
Maybe these notions are relatively modern, and are the sources of common disatisfaction with both.

If you reach for what you think is your glass of coke, accidentally drinking from a glass of tea, it tastes like terrible coke; when really it's perfectly satisfying tea, it's just that you were expecting something different. And your expectations are what ruin the experience, not the experience itself being displeasing.

(People hate my analogies. They think they sound really lame and stupid like I went to the "Natalie Portman in Garden State School of Philosophy")

the job one sounds more like an old idea than a new one. like in the medeival days, your job was your identity; if you were a shoemaker, then that's who you were, you were the shoemaker. you spent your days making shoes, you liked making shoes, people saw your shoes and thought of you, you bettered yourself by making better shoes, and so on.

but today, for most people, your job isn't tied to your identity like that anymore. a job is just a job, it's something you do 8 hours a day for money. you don't like it, you wouldn't do it if you didn't have to, your personal identity and your professional identity are two separate things (unless you're like a doctor or a lawyer or a comedian or something); you don't meet people named "bob frycook", or "jim clerk", or "sara sandwichartist".

i dunno. that's my take which i completely thought of on my own and haven't stolen from marx at all

[fucktopgirl]

I beleive that a job should be a extension of someone personnality,of what they like ,their passion.If not,well thta is sad but people gotta eat!

Marriage is mostly about money,security for the futur,,i said mostly!LOve and adoration come in second! :D

[Nuzzolese]

But Bob, I was under the impression -unless my public school history books have lied to me, which would be shocking and so unlikely! History is never biased! - that back then when there were cobblers and candlemakers and such, that these were professions people were stuck with and identities they were stuck with, whereas now you can chose your job and your identity. And with that freedom of choice comes great responsibility to yourself to choose something good.

[Nuzzolese]

Marriage is mostly about money,security for the futur,,i said mostly!LOve and adoration come in second! :D

Yeah! I'm thinking so as well. Or, more like just not minding being around each other. It doesn't have to be love but just toleration and teamwork?

[adam_f]

There's no 'we' in team'

[Bob]

But Bob, I was under the impression -unless my public school history books have lied to me, which would be shocking and so unlikely! History is never biased! - that back then when there were cobblers and candlemakers and such, that these were professions people were stuck with and identities they were stuck with, whereas now you can chose your job and your identity. And with that freedom of choice comes great responsibility to yourself to choose something good.

.....i'm not a history major, you caught me

maybe it's roughly similar; today, if you're privileged, you can pursue what you want to to do with your life. if you've got the luxury to do so, you can go to college, learn a skill that you like, and do that for the rest of your life. if you can't, then you take what you get and hope that you like it.

i wasn't alive in the medieval age, in fact i don't know anything about it and should probably shut up, but no, i'm not going to yet. maybe you didn't like being a shoemaker, maybe you were just a shoemaker because it was available, because you had to get a job and that's all that there was to do (except for maybe dung shoveling, or ditch digging, which apparently is a very popular occupation); but it was still, you know, something you could have a personal stock in. you made shoes, you sold shoes, you got the money for the shoes you sold. as opposed to say, today, where you work at subway, and you make sandwiches, and you sell sandwiches, but subway gets the money, and you get minimum wage regardless of how many sandwiches you sell. or you work in an office, and you stamp invoices, or do filing, but you get paid the same wage no matter how many invoices you stamp and folders you file, so you just sort of hate your life and pretend to work.

my point is, i never really looked at a job as being a self-fulfillment thing, i always just thought of it as a subsistence kind of thing.

[Rock]

I just want to suffocate Natalie Portman.
Me too...with my penis. r d r r? Yeah I didn't think so either. ok im lying...I DID think it was r d r r worthy.

I don't understand the whole marriage is for money and security thing. can you dumb it down a bit for a re re like myself?

[marsdaddy]

Self-fulfillment should be first?

[fucktopgirl]

my point is, i never really looked at a job as being a self-fulfillment thing, i always just thought of it as a subsistence kind of thing.


well ,in that case your life gonna be boring at one point if you dont do a job that excite you stimulate you!

[Bob]

well ,in that case your life gonna be boring at one point if you dont do a job that excite you stimulate you!

right i'll get right on that

[DandyFop]

The way I figure it, it'd be neato to have either one or the other. An awesome relationship that I can just look forward to at the end of the day at my shitty job, or an awesome job wherein I'm gonna be having so much fun that I won't care about not being with someone great. Actually I don't forsee myself not caring.

Whatever, it's all gonna work out. I'm not too worried.

I do know, however that if I want either of these things I'm gonna have to not be a pussy and move out of this damn state.

[Nuzzolese]

I get so depressed by movies and songs and inspirational dogma that hits me over the head with mantras like "follow your dreams" and "I would do anything for love" because that only applies if you're some kind of acid tripping on life dreamy-eyed go getter type. What if you don't have passions or dreams so much as just...slight preferences or subtle inclinations? Is it important to follow those or just sort of, moderately advantageous? Why am I made to feel guilty for desiring a quiet life of mediocrity? Am I supposed to want to live big and do great things and fear what Thoreau described as "quiet desperation?" No one (except Qdrop) ever boasts about being average. We're all taught to have big dreams and then conflictedly to accept a life of buying the material appearance of a dream fulfilled.

[Nuzzolese]

The way I figure it, it'd be neato to have either one or the other. An awesome relationship that I can just look forward to at the end of the day at my shitty job, or an awesome job wherein I'm gonna be having so much fun that I won't care about not being with someone great. Actually I don't forsee myself not caring.

Whatever, it's all gonna work out. I'm not too worried.

I do know, however that if I want either of these things I'm gonna have to not be a pussy and move out of this damn state.

Why would you have to move out of the state? You've explored all the romantic and financial opportunities Utah has to offer? You are so promiscuous. I mean that admiringly.

As the drummer in Spinal Tap said "as long as there's sex and drugs, I could do without the rock 'n' roll."

[DandyFop]

But if your goal is to live a quiet life of mediocrity, and you achieve it, isn't that "following your dream"?

Next movie-of-the-week "Nuzz: The story of a woman who wouldn't give up her dreams!" and it shows you buying tube socks.

[Nuzzolese]

I almost spit water all over my desk. :D

[Nuzzolese]

But if your goal is to live a quiet life of mediocrity, and you achieve it, isn't that "following your dream"?


It's not a goal really, just an expectation, a prediction.

[cosmo105]

hahaha.

and then for the climax, she fills out her tax return.

[DandyFop]

Why would you have to move out of the state? You've explored all the romantic and financial opportunities Utah has to offer? You are so promiscuous. I mean that admiringly.



Financial opportunities, not as much, but the film industry here is either LDS or Disney films. No thanks. Though making my own movie here would be cheaper and that's what I wanna do anyway. Whatever...

Romantic, yeah. I feel like I've met every single guy here, or at least every type of guy. The last....6? guys I have really liked have not lived here.

Mostly I would like to be surrounded by some kind of actual culture or situation where the bars don't close at 1 and it's not a big deal when a movie with gay cowboys is playing.

[Nuzzolese]

Oh man, I gotta do that. I lost my tax forms though.

Anyway, have you ever noticed that a ton of celebrities always say how important it is for them to "stay grounded"? You never hear anyone else say that, just famous people. It must be hard to get into trouble with your parents when you're famous. They're always like "no it's okay! Go out with your friends!"

[DandyFop]

This is weird, I've been thinking a lot lately about famous people, especially when I'm on the toilet.

But, no really, the drive to be "famous". A lot of it has to do with being financially secure, I know, but I'm not sure if I get the "hoards of adoring fans" thing very much. So many people want to be famous, doesn't it seem?

[cosmo105]

i never did my 2003 taxes. i hardly made anything anyway.


utah does indeed suck barb. you should move to portland.

[Nuzzolese]

Why should we (the people who don't make much from them) do taxes anyway? If enough people boycotted taxes in one year, maybe we'd get them to stop asking altogether!

[ms.peachy]

Yeah! I'm thinking so as well. Or, more like just not minding being around each other. It doesn't have to be love but just toleration and teamwork?
LOl I just told mr.p that I tolerate him very much, and it's great having him as a co-captain on the baby-raising team. He said, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

[Nuzzolese]

LOl I just told mr.p that I tolerate him very much, and it's great having him as a co-captain on the baby-raising team. He said, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Now you see the vulgarity inherent in the system!

[DandyFop]

utah does indeed suck barb. you should move to portland.

no I'm moving in with you and steger. Hope you guys have a full stock of heavy flow tampax

[cosmo105]

i just stick unpicked organic cotton blossoms up there.

[fucktopgirl]

Why should we (the people who don't make much from them) do taxes anyway? If enough people boycotted taxes in one year, maybe we'd get them to stop asking altogether!

that would be great!i just do my taxes because i get the child benefit in return,,otherwise,,i would'nt do it!

[Bob]

LOl I just told mr.p that I tolerate him very much, and it's great having him as a co-captain on the baby-raising team. He said, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

that is so sweet

[GreenEarthAl]

My job is pretty cool. It gives me the money I need to straigten out my train-wreck of a financial situation. It's also a very physical job, which is like mandatory exercise (apparently, that's the variety of exercize easiest for human beings to do with sufficient frequency.) It also allows me to preserve enough mental energy to still be able to write at the end of the day. Hell, often times it forces me to think and rethink what I'm going to write and so writings become that much better when I sit down to hammer them out. And my boss is cool. That makes a big difference. My schedule can be flexible and I can tailor it around my performances and community activities.

My love life, again, quite fond of that too. I didn't get what I expected, but I held out until I got what I really wanted, surprised though I was with what that ended up being.

I don't really relate to people who claim not to have passions and I tend to just dismiss them as not having thought it through enough or not having had enough life experiences to discover them yet and the like. That could be my own bias, I get passionate about mostly everything there is to be done in this world.

[Nuzzolese]

We're so happy for you GEA, it sounds like you are really on top of things and you have it all together and you're really sure of yourself I mean what an inspiration you are I admire your confidence and happiness and how willing you are to share with us how wonderfully fulfilling every aspect of your life is gosh geez fucker.

[GreenEarthAl]

No problemo. Always glad to help out.