somebody find me a fake boyfriend

[Sarky Devotchka]

I need to have a fake boyfriend. I had one, but he hasn't written me back in like 5 days. I'd like to think that he's intimidated by my awesomeness. or maybe he talked to Rolling Stone Boy and found out that I'm kind of crazy...although I don't really think they're actual friends. or he found this message board and knows for sure I'm crazy.

anyway, I wish I could just be like, "hey, you seem funny and weird and I think we should hang out or something", I suppose I could...but not until he writes back.

pfft. I have a date tomorrow with my booty call guy. I mean, he's going to take me out and stuff. He called me "babe" on the phone. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like shaving my legs.

[rirv]

Hey babe. ;) I shaved my legs just for you.

[Sarky Devotchka]

ooh la la!

[ASsman]

You crazy?

Well I'm crazy for you.

Seriously, I'm off my meds. Be my valentine, before I do something crazy.

[Sarky Devotchka]

are you hot? I only want hot fake boyfriends. (y)

[cosmo105]

what if you had a fake GIRLFRIEND? that would be even more badass and people would fear/respect you in a whole new way.

[rirv]

I've shaved my arms too :cool: ;)

[ASsman]

are you hot? I only want hot fake boyfriends. (y)
Buh, I ain't no pretty boy if that's what you mean. No blue eyes and blonde hair. Rocking that mohawk though, the ladies don't complain much either :cool: .

[Sarky Devotchka]

what if you had a fake GIRLFRIEND? that would be even more badass and people would fear/respect you in a whole new way.

but I already have a fake wife. :(

I need a fake boyfriend so I don't pine away for those who can not be mine.

it's like My So-called Life when that girl has a crush on ricky, even though she knows he's gay.

[Sarky Devotchka]

Buh, I ain't no pretty boy if that's what you mean. No blue eyes and blonde hair. Rocking that mohawk though, the ladies don't complain much either :cool: .

that could be hot, but I'd have to see a picture. and what kind of pants do you wear?

[paul jones]

shave your vagina too (y)

[Bob]

i'll be your fake boyfriend if you be my ex-girlfriend. all you'd have to do is send me a message now and then so i can go "oh...i got a message from my ex the other day"

i have nothing to talk about these days, you see

[paul jones]

everyone shave their pubes

[ASsman]

that could be hot, but I'd have to see a picture. and what kind of pants do you wear?
Buh, wouldn't be a problem, except all my digital pics died with my hard drive.

Pants, like I don't know what they are called. Normal cut, somewhat fitting. Nothing baggy, most of the time I try to go for the khakis though, with my reebok classic wedges.
--
Also, what a weird question. Overall fashion I'd say something between preppy and hip-hop. Trying to look mature and still express myself and the type of music/culture I enjoy.
--

Pube shaving! Too late. A little trimming is fine for the ladies, get the sides I say. My gf got me to do a complete manscaping though, I feel like a 10 year old, except for the size of it of course ;). I must say it's a pleasant suprise whenever I put my hand down my pants, like Al Bundy.

[ASsman]

Would you like me to go into more detail of my 'technique'. I think we are all grown ups here. Some with less hair than others. :D

[ASsman]

Haha, hells fucking no.

[Sarky Devotchka]

hey, my fake boyfriend can't have a girlfriend!

and I don't shave my pubes unless I'm going to be in a bathing suit. and I rarely shave my legs in the winter. I have sensitive skin! so sue me!

bob, what sort of things would your ex-girlfriend say in such emails?

[Bob]

hey, my fake boyfriend can't have a girlfriend!

and I don't shave my pubes unless I'm going to be in a bathing suit. and I rarely shave my legs in the winter. I have sensitive skin! so sue me!

bob, what sort of things would your ex-girlfriend say in such emails?

oh it doesn't matter what you say, my friends won't see them, i'll just make shit up.

on special occasions i may ask you to call my cell phone at strategic times. i won't answer it, i just want to be able to say, "oh, my ex is calling...i'm not picking THAT up"

[GreenEarthAl]

hey, my fake boyfriend can't have a girlfriend!


Such a discriminatory world we live in.

[Sarky Devotchka]

oh it doesn't matter what you say, my friends won't see them, i'll just make shit up.

on special occasions i may ask you to call my cell phone at strategic times. i won't answer it, i just want to be able to say, "oh, my ex is calling...i'm not picking THAT up"


okay, sounds like a great idea. here's your first email:

Bob,
it's me, your ex-girlfriend. why won't you return my calls? I made this doll of you and I put it under my pillow. I wish I could put you under a pillow. please love me again.

Sally

[rirv]

hey, my fake boyfriend can't have a girlfriend!

and I don't shave my pubes unless I'm going to be in a bathing suit. and I rarely shave my legs in the winter. I have sensitive skin! so sue me!

bob, what sort of things would your ex-girlfriend say in such emails?
Ooooh, unkempt pubes!

[Sarky Devotchka]

they're kempt! just not shaved. trimmed.

[ASsman]

Heh, well have you ever been intimate with a guy during the winter? Be an interesting suprise for him. To tell you the truth I don't think I have seen full on hairy legs on a woman. Except for that Mexican nanny in Enemy of the State, interested to see what your's look like. Not sure what to expect other than what mine look like.

As far as my relationship, we are on hiatus. Long distance and all... :(

[rirv]

I like a girl to have a moustache. Adds to the sensuality of the experience.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I've never had full-on hairy legs. they get to a certain point and then I'm like, "fucking gross" and shave them.

my last boyfriend didn't care, he just wanted me to be comfortable. actually, I think I've made out with at least 5 guys when I had semi-hairy legs. it's like they're lucky.

[ASsman]

I like a girl to have a moustache. Adds to the sensuality of the experience.
I saw one with a full on goatee and connecting chin strap. Was disturbed to say the least.

--

Well I just never knew, cause my arm hair differs greatly from my leg hair. Wondered if the same was true for women. My arm hair is rather soft and pleasing to the touch, legs are a different story.

I think I've made out with at least 5 guys when I had semi-hairy legs. it's like they're lucky.
I'm trying to think of the movie this reminds me of. "Take your sweater off, it is off" , to some hot looking blonde "ou natural" gal.

[GreenEarthAl]

I love my girlfriend Heather's legs. Hair and all. They don't get very hairy. Even though she doesn't shave them. She's not all that hersuit to begin with I suppose. She's got very natural everything. Very sexy.

[rirv]

I have cankles:(

[paul jones]

anyone seen that new dating site junk e mail lately 'Fuck-A-FRIEND' or 'FUCK - FRIENDS' or something

it's just for people who want to meet someone and fuck

no drinks,no movie

just fuck


the world's gone mad

[SobaViolence]

in a good way, right?

[ASsman]

I love my girlfriend Heather's legs. Hair and all. They don't get very hairy. Even though she doesn't shave them. She's not all that hersuit to begin with I suppose. She's got very natural everything. Very sexy.
Something primative about it I suppose. I too am turned on by the hairy muff, but when it comes down to the practicality of it... Well I think we all know.

in a good way, right?
Yah really, that'd be awesome. Sex is cool.

[marsdaddy]

What happened with drunk Mario? Either Sarky or Bob can answer.

[Bob]

he fell into a green pipe and we never saw him again :confused:

[Justin]

i'll be your internet bitch

[GreenEarthAl]

Something primative about it I suppose. I too am turned on by the hairy muff, but when it comes down to the practicality of it... Well I think we all know.


Primative? I assure you it is the most contemporary design available in human evolution.

[ASsman]

I suppose it is. Buh, I guess I meant it's something we are born with, rather than learned. Being mammals and all. Just something animalistic about it, ignore love and all that and you are left with is horny humans looking for pubes as sign of ability to reproduce.

[Sarky Devotchka]

What happened with drunk Mario? Either Sarky or Bob can answer.

MARIO WENT HOME WITH THE PRINCESS, I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

[Bionic]

i want one of these fake girlfriends you speak of. and a fake job. my fake life would be complete. a fake car couldn't hurt

[Bob]

MARIO WENT HOME WITH THE PRINCESS, I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

he had to go to like 9 different bars to find her, too

[kaiser soze]

I'm a virgin...how fake can you get?

[Sarky Devotchka]

here's your fake girlfriend (http://www.socetew.com/emily_hot.jpg)

and your fake car (http://www.rvwagon.net/cboard/Uploads/20032201513233712.jpg)

your fake job (http://www.kimwist.com/images/magician.JPG)

[Sarky Devotchka]

he had to go to like 9 different bars to find her, too


I think just 3.

[Ace42X]

here's your fake girlfriend (http://www.socetew.com/emily_hot.jpg)


She has a good pair of lungs on her. I'd certainly give her some fake sex.

[sjp]

a friend of mine did this for there little brother funny as hell not good though if the person findouts it was fake from the begining

[Bionic]

who is that?
that car is awesome... i need an origami house to go with it.
if i had a fake job it would be have to be more flashy... more like a tom jones or kenny rogers type.

if you had a fake job it would be this (http://www.thechapmansonline.com/vagas%202004%2066.JPG)