I saw someone get shot today

[Freebasser]

Well not quite. I actually saw a woman in her 30s get her daughter (aged about 8ish) to push her baby sister in her pram, through the doors of the supermarket, with a DVD player smuggled under the baby seat.

Some ASDA guy stopped her but I felt bad for her, because not only was she scared shitless because she didn't know what was going on, but her mother pretended she had nothing to do with it and said "what are you fuckin' doin'?" out loud. She then quickly ran out of the shop, beckoning her daughter to follow her.

Crazy shit (n)

[jackrock]

yeah, that's definitly almost gettin shot.

[SobaViolence]

being someone who almost got shot and who steals things, i don't think there is much of a corolation.





mothers using their children to steal=death by vaginal insertion of large explosive.

[adam_f]

I almost got stabbed in the temple if that means I can't fall asleep.

[cosmo105]

ugh. that poor kid. people used to do that with their kids and babies and strollers when i worked at Wherehouse. there was this one mother that was notorious...she'd put dvds in the elastic of her son's shorts and it was tooootally obvious. and she'd pretend it was him doing it and apologize and he was maybe five years old and confused.

yeah, i'm sure they'll grow up nice and healthy.

[marsdaddy]

Do security guards in the UK even carry tasers? In the US, they have semi-auto handguns.

[Freebasser]

Haha, it wasn't even a security guard. It was just an old guy in an ASDA waistcoat. I don't think they can afford security guards there regularly, because I hardly ever see them.

I got stopped by a security guard one time because the checkout woman forgot to take the barcode off a packet of condoms. The security guard stopped Becks and I when we set off the anti-theft alarm and he made me rifle through the bags before sheepishly handing him the condoms while everyone stared.

We got a few laughs and the odd wink.

[adam_f]

He was probably laughing at the vagisil for you mom.

[Freebasser]

He actually asked if he could borrow it ;/

[marsdaddy]

He was probably laughing at the vagisil for you mom.Their healthcare system IS better than ours. Preventive medicine!

[rirv]

I saw a kid steal two litres of Smirnoff Ice from Budgens the other day. He got caught though. He was fat and ugly, he deserved to get caught.

[discopants]

I saw a kid steal two litres of Smirnoff Ice from Budgens the other day. He got caught though. He was fat and ugly, he deserved to get caught.

Todays history lesson:
The ancient Spartan youths were encouraged to steal as long as they got away with it.

[roosta]

worst title for a thread ever.

[Matt]

I saw someone get run over by a car today actually she tried on clothes.

[medler]

security guards in the UK carry a torch and sometimes a radio but ALWAYS a really dodgy 'i wanna be in the police' hat

[Freebasser]

I think a lot of people in this thread are inexperienced when it comes to irony.

[Qdrop]

I think a lot of people in this thread are inexperienced when it comes to irony.

the fuck are you talking about?
your thread title vs. your topic is in NO WAY an example of irony.

[Freebasser]

I called it "I saw someone get shot today" so people would read the thread. It has nothing to do with the thread itself.

Some people are thick.

[adam_f]

Aidan ain't learn nuthin eva.

[roosta]

that's not irony.

personally, i was looking forward to reading about someone getting shot. when it was about something otherwise, i was dissapointed, and no matter how good the topic was (which was ok in its own right), it was never going to satisfy my blood lust.

not irony.

[marsdaddy]

I called it "I saw someone get shot today" so people would read the thread. It has nothing to do with the thread itself.

Some people are thick.It's kind of like how you crazy lot call the bathroom the loo and the elevator the lift. Subterfuge is irony.

[Kid Presentable]

I turned up for work once, and a dude was under a sheet while his friends picked up pieces of his head off the road. But alas, I did not see him get shot.

[DapperDiverge]

Well not quite. I actually saw a woman in her 30s get her daughter (aged about 8ish) to push her baby sister in her pram, through the doors of the supermarket, with a DVD player smuggled under the baby seat.

Some ASDA guy stopped her but I felt bad for her, because not only was she scared shitless because she didn't know what was going on, but her mother pretended she had nothing to do with it and said "what are you fuckin' doin'?" out loud. She then quickly ran out of the shop, beckoning her daughter to follow her.

Crazy shit (n)

that's what kids are for...

When I was 5 yrs old... I lived in this real ghetto neighborhood and there was this loud party at 2 am next door in my apartment complex... next thing ya know there's gun shots and ambulance sirens... ends up a guy got shot right in front of our apartment door... he didn't die, but the next morning my mom had to spray the blood off the front step with the hose... can you believe I slept thru the whole thing?? :o

[Planetary]

Well not quite. I actually saw a woman in her 30s get her daughter (aged about 8ish) to push her baby sister in her pram, through the doors of the supermarket, with a DVD player smuggled under the baby seat.

Some ASDA guy stopped her but I felt bad for her, because not only was she scared shitless because she didn't know what was going on, but her mother pretended she had nothing to do with it and said "what are you fuckin' doin'?" out loud. She then quickly ran out of the shop, beckoning her daughter to follow her.

Crazy shit (n)

i <3 wolverhampton

[bigblu89]

I haven't seen a worse example of irony since that shitty Alanis Morrisette song.

[Qdrop]

I called it "I saw someone get shot today" so people would read the thread. It has nothing to do with the thread itself.


um....yeah.
that's still not irony.

everyone seems to get that except you....



and mars.

[bigblu89]

i·ro·ny
noun



a.The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

b.An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

c. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect.

d. NOT Freebasser's thread.

[Freebasser]

Verbal irony is traditionally defined as the use of words to convey something other than, and especially the opposite of the literal meaning of the words. One classic example is a speaker saying, “What lovely weather we are having!” as she looks out at a rainstorm intending to express her dissatisfaction with the weather. However, there are examples of verbal irony that do not rely on saying the opposite of what one means, and there are cases where all the traditional criteria of irony exist and the utterance isn’t ironic.

Now shut the fuck up, you boring twats. Christ, you're boring.

[adam_f]

So, you wanna go to the malt shop?

[Freebasser]

i·ro·ny
noun



a.The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

b.An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

c. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect.

d. NOT Freebasser's thread.

D'oh!

[Freebasser]

So, you wanna go to the malt shop?

Yeah, sure.

I hope nobody gets shot.

[adam_f]

No one got shot, but Aidan said someone got shot. Intriguing.

You bring the Laffy Taffy, sugar.

[Freebasser]

*shoots you*

[adam_f]

*catches bullet with little irish boy*

[mickill]

A few years ago, a guy I went to school with was shot in the head while he was driving. His brains literally ended up all over his passenger's lap. Ironically, they had not shoplifted anything that day.

[Qdrop]

It's kind of like how you crazy lot call the bathroom the loo and the elevator the lift. Subterfuge is irony.

umm.....no.

i·ro·ny Audio pronunciation of "irony" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-n, r-)
n. pl. i·ro·nies

1.
1. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
2. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
3. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit1.
2.
1. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: “Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated” (Richard Kain).
2. An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity.

[Qdrop]

aiden...you're really wrong on this....

but it's funny to watch you defend it anyway.

[Qdrop]

so basically....

if i say that i have blue ball in this box....then i pull it out and it's a stuffed bear, that's irony?

if say i'm 7' tall....but then you see me and and i'm 6' tall...that's irony?

if, AT ANY TIME, i say ANYTHING, and then show or do another...that's irony?

mmmmkay....

[peterclamp]

My day off yesterday, and some thieving fuckers stole a laptop I had on display in my shop. Bastards! :mad:

[Qdrop]

My day off yesterday, and some thieving fuckers stole a laptop I had on display in my shop. Bastards! :mad:

was the laptop actually a box of chocolates?
cause if it was....that would be ironic.

[Bob]

no, see, it totally is irony. because the topic implied that somebody got shot, but in reality, absolutely nobody got shot, which is the exact opposite of somebody getting shot, so, you know, irony and stuff.

[roosta]

so stealing is the opposite of being shot? im confuzzled, or BORING LOL!

[Freebasser]

so stealing is the opposite of being shot? im confuzzled, or BORING LOL!

There are many types of irony. Something doesn't have to be an opposite to be considered ironic. I've already posted supporting evidence of that. If you actually read it, perhaps you wouldn't be so "confuzzled" LMAO

[roosta]

hmmm...................................no.

[Freebasser]

And I could have sworn that this board couldn't be dumbed down any further.

How wrong was I?

[roosta]

thread still isnt bout peeps getting their caps peeled back.

[vickista]

fraid so...

[Freebasser]

I called it "I saw someone get shot today" so people would read the thread. It has nothing to do with the thread itself.

Some people are thick.

[fucktopgirl]

haha,that thread has become highly ironical!!

[Bob]

There are many types of irony. Something doesn't have to be an opposite to be considered ironic. I've already posted supporting evidence of that. If you actually read it, perhaps you wouldn't be so "confuzzled" LMAO

and it doesn't even matter, because i've just proven that it's a matter of the opposite anyway, so case closed

[Freebasser]

and it doesn't even matter, because i've just proven that it's a matter of the opposite anyway, so case closed

(y)

[Pres Zount]

Freebasser, you should have a link in your sig that says "how's my posting?' and then we could click it and complain about your lousy posts.

[peterclamp]

was the laptop actually a box of chocolates?
cause if it was....that would be ironic.

I wish I was being frickin' ironic, believe me... :(

Anyway it was a £450.00 box of chocolates. (n)

[roosta]

im pretty sure by the couple of quotes, emboldenings and definitions used in this thread that EVERYTHING is ironic.

how post-modern.

oh, look what i noticed...

and there are cases where all the traditional criteria of irony exist and the utterance isn’t ironic.

so, maybe it ISNT IRONIC? what? Huh?

[marsdaddy]

umm...thanks for clearing that up.but it's funny to watch you defend it anyway.What's funny is you posted 3 times in a row then talked about someone else defending their position. Wait...that's ironic!

[ericlee]

So did Cheney..

/Drumroll, Cymbal crash..

[discopants]

Jesus, I hope nothing ironic hapens to me today- I'm not insured.

[Qdrop]

umm...thanks for clearing that up.What's funny is you posted 3 times in a row then talked about someone else defending their position. Wait...that's ironic!

hmmm....close.

well, yeah....i'll that to ya.

definately a better example of irony than Freebasser......


wait is THAT irony too?...
hmmmmmm.