What is the biggest pencil ever?

[adam_f]

PENCIL-vania! Only Pennsylvania, really.

[paulb]

oh.

[adam_f]

Slow news day on my front.

[paulb]

s'all good. Im drinking a big glass of milk. holla.

[voltanapricot]

Who has heard the joke about the butter?

[adam_f]

Did Stephen Colbert say it first?

[ericlee]

did you hear the one bout the blonde with a tampon behind her ear looking for her pencil?

[voltanapricot]

Did Stephen Colbert say it first?
Either way I can't tell you, you'll spread it around.

[roosta]

the biggest pencil ever was the giant pencil behind Neil Buchanan on Art Attack.

science fact

[voltanapricot]

what a fucking numpty.

[roosta]

clo told me she loves nuts.

[CrankItUp!]

I once had a little dog named Speck and he had a pecker that resembled a big pink crayon. :D

[Matt]

have you heard the joke about the girl who loved soda pop? she died!

[monkey]

you've lost your magic.

[adam_f]

Yeah, Matt. psshh.

[voltanapricot]

roosta told me he loves testiclé.

[roosta]

clo thought tommy lee jones was south american

[Matt]

Yeah, Matt. psshh.

oh I forgot! she got her limbs ripped off by a jumbo shrimp! AM I WACKY OR WHAT!

[voltanapricot]

roosta bigs up the BBC because he wants to dodge TV licence watchdogs. That tramp.

[roosta]

yo, we STEAL british telly here in Ireland. We straight up STEAL that stuff from out of the air and there's nothing you or Tony Blair or Andi Peters can do about it.

[Bob]

A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!'

The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!'

At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary. He reads:
'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.'

[roosta]

Um, roosta, you don't live in Ireland.


You're also not Irish either.

hmm...i really dunno where youre going with this.....

[ASsman]

The one I wrote yo mama wid.