Homophone / Homophobe

[marsdaddy]

Here I go again.

Why is it acceptable to say someone or something is gay or a fag, as a put-down? I cringe everytime I see it. I did it too, in the past, but I'm enlightened now. Why aren't you?

Yes, cmute, it's because I'm gay. And no, I don't fancy you.

[skinnybutphat]

Mods, please move this thread to the gay section.

[Ace42X]

Why is it acceptable to say someone or something is gay or a fag, as a put-down?

Because it has social connotations that go beyond mere sexual preference. For example, a lot of people have legitimate aethetic criticisms of "camp."

Camp is predominantly gay, and not to everyone's tastes.

[Planetary]

you know what confuses me? 90% of the guys i know are always like 'gay sex is wrong!', but when i ask 'em if they like lesbian sex they're always like 'yeah, lesbian sex is great!'

:confused:

i don't think gay sex is wrong as such, i'd just rather not watch it...

[zorra_chiflada]

you know what confuses me? 90% of the guys i know are always like 'gay sex is wrong!', but when i ask 'em if they like lesbian sex they're always like 'yeah, lesbian sex is great!'



that's because they're dumb. honestly, people like that suck.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I work with gay people and they say stuff is "gay" and call gay people "homos". actually, I stopped saying "gay" awhile ago, but every now and again I say, "what're you, some kinda fag?" in real life. I've explained it before, I say it when someone does something that doesn't even connotate homosexuality.

I recently started saying "bitch" a lot and it's catching. it needs to stop.

[abcdefz]

Here I go again.

Why is it acceptable to say someone or something is gay or a fag, as a put-down? I cringe everytime I see it.





...I don't think it is acceptable.

[bigblu89]

I understand why calling someone or something gay is considered to be a insult, I just don't get why people would be insulted about it.

If that makes any sense.

Now, if someone on TV is prancing around and looking all girly, I may ask why he's acting like a fag. Because in my mind being gay and being a fag are two totally different things.

Kinda like Chris Rock's Black person vs Nigger routine.

Being gay is fine with me, being a fag is not.

I don't think I'm explaining this the right way, so this may sound pretty hateful and what not, but it isn't.

[abcdefz]

I think all cigarettes everywhere should be offended.


Kindling, too.

[SobaViolence]

a good friend of mine in high school came out (which is so courageous, but i knew he had huge cojones) but he was one of the most vulgar people i've ever met.

he'd call people cocksuckers, call other guys fags, etc etc...

i can't deny i use the term once in a while, but in my mind it's a modern spin of 'queer', meaning odd or weird.

except when i call my friends fags. that means they like cock-in-mouth...but even that is kinda a light hearted joke. we call ourselves fags too.

meh. i'm not too concerned.

[enree erzweglle]

I posted asking about this maybe a year ago but I don't remember that anyone gave a satisfactory response.

I don't understand it either, marsdaddy. It isn't acceptable to me to use "gay" or "ghey" to indicate distaste. I cringe when I hear it and I cringe when I read it--no matter how people spell it.

[marsdaddy]

Camp is predominantly gay, and not to everyone's tastes.So Rocky Horror picture show is camp? Isn't Tim Curry British?
I recently started saying "bitch" a lot and it's catching. it needs to stop.Why not stop using gay/fag, too?
...I don't think it is acceptable.You're in the minority, though.
Being gay is fine with me, being a fag is not.I think you're saying you don't mind if someone is gay, as long as they are gay in a way that you're comfortable.he'd call people cocksuckers, call other guys fags, etc etc...It's called subterfuge.except when i call my friends fags. that means they like cock-in-mouth...but even that is kinda a light hearted joke. we call ourselves fags too.

meh. i'm not too concerned.Don't you think your friend's coming out required even large cajones because the rest of you cap on each other as being gay and fags?I don't understand it either, marsdaddy. It isn't acceptable to me to use "gay" or "ghey" to indicate distaste. I cringe when I hear it and I cringe when I read it--no matter how people spell it.It's because we're both old.

[Bob]

we've so been through this already and i don't think we ever arrived at an answer

i think it might have been a qdrop thread

[Sarky Devotchka]

Why not stop using gay/fag, too?


well. because sometimes saying offensive things is funny because you are mocking people who would actually say offensive things. I work in Boystown (yes, that's literally the name of the area) and gay guys are constantly calling eachother fags and homos, just like, on the street and in my store. my boss and his partner have been together for like 10 years and they are just regular people in a relationship, but they also do and say things that are stereotypical and they know it. and say stuff like, "oh my god, we're such fags" when they go antiqueing or something.

I can see how from a psychological standpoint, it's a self-destructive kind of thing to do. maybe stemming from some sort of subconscious shame based on societal mainstream ideals about the role of a man. But I think in this day and age, homosexuality is accepted in this kind of campy over the top kind of clown role, where people are like, "I don't mind that you fuck dudes, as long as you can make me laugh!" So people think it's acceptable for everyone to make fun of that "character" whether gay or straight. i.e. Jack on Will and Grace, Carson on Queer Eye, that intern on Jay Leno, etc. etc. and to me that's like a natural stepping stone with any kind of subculture that begins to enter the mainstream. even something like punk...look at 80's movies, the "punk" character is someone scary/dirty/evil, and now avril lavigne is "punk", they have "punk" songs in t.v. commercials. and though your sexuality does not necessarily define your culture, the very isolation of it is what created any gay subculture in the first place.

bleh, I haven't even been addressing the usage of "gay" as an insult really, I'm more discussing it as a comedic device. which I think is what most people use it as on here...basically with irony. I think if a man said on here, "oh, I'm taking pottery classes" and people said "what're you a fag?" in earnest...then that's stupid and what I would consider hateful. but if I said it, it would be funny (to me at least) because I know that it doesn't matter and that doing pottery doesn't make you gay, and it if did, so what?

I don't know but my boss said I have good rapport with homos.

[GreenEarthAl]

It seems to be all up in the youth culture now. I honestly used to think it was just a BBMB thing, but apparently it's all over the place. One of my coworkers used to wander into my trucks to talk to me at work. And the first time he called something gay I didn't know if I heard him clearly so I sluufed it off. But the next time, I rather clearly heard him disparage one of the electric stackers as being totally gay. So I stopped and asked him if he would mind not refering to everything bad as gay. I told him that many of my dearest friends are gay and so I didn't appreciate him likening their lifestyle choice to everything in the world that sucks.

At which point he apologized and called the electric stacker "retarded".

So then I sighed and told him of all of my various friends with cognative disabilities. I could tell I was losing him at this point. He had no idea how to carry on a conversation without these descriptors.

He offered the same defense. That he has gay friends that call things gay. I offered that trying to carry on a conversation without calling things gay might be good practice in case he ever really needed to do so in the future.

[ms.peachy]

This is kind of a tough one. It's a 'time and place' thing for me, I guess. I don't like hearing/seeing it jsut sort of randomly. Like, I don't think it's an appropriate word to use in that context around people I don't know well, and certainly not ever on the job. But there are other times when it's fine, like if I am with some of my gay friends and it's just part of how we talk. "Oh. my. god. Rob. you are such a fag, you are absolutely fagualous!" that kind of thing. Or if mr.p and I are shopping and he tries something on and asks me "What do you think?" I might say "It fits, but it's a little bit gay. Like maybe 15%." It's a bit of a joke between us, as he gets hit on by men occasionally, and he knows enough to take it as a compliment - we make cracks about me being his 'beard', how he needs to keep his gay fan base happy, etc. It's nothing malicious.

[enree erzweglle]

But there are other times when it's fine, like if I am with some of my gay friends and it's just part of how we talk. "Oh. my. god. Rob. you are such a fag, you are absolutely fagualous!" that kind of thing. Or if mr.p and I are shopping and he tries something on and asks me "What do you think?" I might say "It fits, but it's a little bit gay. Like maybe 15%."That's different in my mind.

A quick search on this site for the word "ghey" shows that it's used as a synonym for words like "idiotic" and "asinine." That's when I think using the word "gay" or "ghey" is wrong.

To me, it's okay to use gay to describe someone who actually is gay.

The word "retard" sounds like a put-down, maybe because it's used in that way--as a slam--more than as a way to refer to people who actually are that. At my gym on Saturdays, they open up parts of the health center to people who are <whatever the correct current term is>. Is it wrong to call them retarded...I don't know.

[bigblu89]

I think you're saying you don't mind if someone is gay, as long as they are gay in a way that you're comfortable.

Gay or not, I'm just not a big fan of anyone being over-the-top anything.

It could be someone who is flamboyently gay, macho, girlie, anything.

Just because there is a sterotype, you don't have to BE the stereotype.

My wife played sports in college, so (Setreotype Alert) pretty much every female friend I have is a lesbian, and my Brother-in-law is gay, so it's not like gay people "scare" me.

[Ace42X]

so it's not like gay people "scare" me.

Not even Arnold Friedman?

[bigblu89]

Not even Arnold Friedman?

Nope, doesn't scare me. Maybe if I was 11, he would, but I'm way too old for his taste.

[DapperDiverge]

Here I go again.

Why is it acceptable to say someone or something is gay or a fag, as a put-down? I cringe everytime I see it. I did it too, in the past, but I'm enlightened now. Why aren't you?

Yes, cmute, it's because I'm gay. And no, I don't fancy you.

i looked up the word fag and it means : to make or become very tired by hard work

and gay means: joyous and lively; bright, brilliant; homosexual man

hmmmm... I wish I was a fag/gay... they seems to be very hardworking people that know how to relax and party after a tiresome day (y)
they seem so much more civilized than us heteros :p

[jabumbo]

does anyone even use gay as a term for happy/joyous anymore?

[DapperDiverge]

does anyone even use gay as a term for happy/joyous anymore?

archie bunker does :p