has anyone here been abused in there childhood?

[vickista]

im nmot saying like annoying ur siblings and then they hit you i mean real deal. has anyone on here been abuses as a child and what did you do about it?

[zorra_chiflada]

this is a very sensitive subject. people may not want to reply

[DroppinScience]

I'm guessing getting spanked as a child doesn't qualify as "abuse" here, does it?

[vickista]

I'm guessing getting spanked as a child doesn't qualify as "abuse" here, does it?


haha, nope

[vickista]

this is a very sensitive subject. people may not want to reply


it is sensitive and i was only wondering, u dont have to its just that others may have suffered the same treatment and are looking for an outlet to express there concern.

[TurdBerglar]

my father use to beat me with the radiator. that's ok though becuase i ran him over with a snow mobile that had steel studded tracks.

[burbboi]

I had soap put in my mouth a few times for saying 'fucker' and 'shithead' as a toddler. It sucked.

[vickista]

my father use to beat me with the radiator. that's ok though becuase i ran him over with a snow mobile that had steel studded tracks.



shit!


i've been beaten so that i get really bad bruises and sometimes cuts, but the a radiator would hurt like hell, not by my parents though, by my maniac sister. you know in the breakfast club when the criminal does the little act of life at his place, that like me except its my sister who hits me, my parents curse at me all the time, but they dont hit, my sister goes psyco on me though....

[paulb]

i was once caught making up blood sugar numbers as a kid for my diabetis. and my dad took me in the room, locked the door. belted me for a good long time, i had tons of bruises...thats the worst of it. now i hit them back.

[vickista]

i was once caught making up blood sugar numbers as a kid for my diabetis. and my dad took me in the room, locked the door. belted me for a good long time, i had tons of bruises...thats the worst of it. now i hit them back.



once my sister almost spilt my eyebrow, and shes beaten me so hard that i've literally had bruises on my bruises<--thats happened more than once.

[paulb]

once my sister almost spilt my eyebrow, and shes beaten me so hard that i've literally had bruises on my bruises<--thats happened more than once.


your sister? why.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I've recently decided that the abuse in my childhood home has been the root of my shyness and general fear of life. it's weird, I always kind of just brushed it off...suppose I was in denial. I cope by pretending nothing really happened, but it haunts me almost every day. shit, I shouldn't think about this when I'm stizzed. it's a total bummer dude!

[vickista]

your sister? why.



i dno she doesnt like me i guess so if shes in a shit mood or if i piss her off she takes all her anger out on me, and shes older and much bigger and muscleier so i cant do too much.

[tracky]

This sounds like a fairly serious problem vik. I think you should have a look at sites like this (http://www.dvirc.org.au/ServicesHub/ServicesIndex.htm#vic). I understand family can be difficult tho, and even reporting it is a huge step. I wouldn't want to make things worse, but if it really is that bad you should seek help, I think. Before it turns into a really ugly situation that could even potentially see you getting trouble. I can only imagine the resentment you harbour, and that could manifest as something you regret later.

[vickista]

This sounds like a fairly serious problem vik. I think you should have a look at sites like this (http://www.dvirc.org.au/ServicesHub/ServicesIndex.htm#vic). I understand family can be difficult tho, and even reporting it is a huge step. I wouldn't want to make things worse, but if it really is that bad you should seek help, I think. Before it turns into a really ugly situation that could even potentially see you getting trouble. I can only imagine the resentment you harbour, and that could manifest as something you regret later.



thnx 4 the site, it is big problem, and i can see it changing me, i used to be a good girl, now i rebel against skool and shit and im turning into the criminal in the breakfast club, its quite scary coz we were watching it at skool and some of the shit he said was exactly how it is at my place... umm but yeah i dont think i can report it, i mean some of my close frends at skool no about it, but that it i dont think it would be a good idea to split my family like that because other then my family all i have is a few close frends.

[Medellia]

thnx 4 the site, it is big problem, and i can see it changing me, i used to be a good girl, now i rebel against skool and shit and im turning into the criminal in the breakfast club, its quite scary coz we were watching it at skool and some of the shit he said was exactly how it is at my place... umm but yeah i dont think i can report it, i mean some of my close frends at skool no about it, but that it i dont think it would be a good idea to split my family like that because other then my family all i have is a few close frends.
If it's as bad as it sounds (and it sounds pretty bad) it'll rip your family apart anyway. If you say something it'll be bad for awhile, but at least there's the chance that it can be fixed. If you allow it to continue you'll just wind up hating your sister (because she hurts you) and your parents (because they aren't stepping in and stopping it). You might even wind up hating some of your friends for not saying anything. As hard as it will be, you really need to get help.

[CrankItUp!]

Alright, here goes my shitty life story :

My father is a retired Marine fucking mean prick old bastard that use to beat the shit out of me starting around 6 yrs old with a fucking belt - with my pants down and on the bare ass and legs ! I went through this living hell up to around the age of 13 yrs old and shit got worse when he started punching me with bare fucking fists. Just for stupid shit like "having the tv up too loud !" and for having to go to summer school during the 8th grade only because I was often too sick with the flu and missed too many days from school. He refused to take me to the doctor - because he said "Toughen it out like a man would like I use to have to do as a kid !" The crazy fucking bastard didnt even have a drinking problem to blame his fucking crazyness on - because he was just a mean motherfucker plain and simple. He was and still is the worst man I've went up against nearly every day of my life.Once he went fucking psycho on my black friends being "in his house" and ran after them with a fucking sword into the nearby woods like a madman. I started drinking around 15 yrs old and got strung out on drugs because of all the constant physical and mental abuse and luckily finished school, just barely. He had forced me to talk to a fucking Marine Recruiter once to enlist the same week of my 18th birthday and "Make a man out of myself!" but I absolutely refused and by the age of near 19 - I was the fuck out of "his house" completely. I returned late one night about a year later with the drunken plans to inflict the same pain that he did upon me and honest to God didnt care if I killed him and myself both that night. Luckily for me - both of us were arrested (me after going to the hospital with three broken ribs - then straight to jail for a week) But even though he got his punches in as usual - I got mine in on his face by breaking his fucking nose and slamming my fist into his face so hard that he was dripping with blood from his mouth with some missing teeth and both eyes blackened almost shut. I have been in MANY nasty fights since - but NONE AS BAD ! as the hatred I unleashed on my father that night. I dont expect ANY sympathy responses from this "really personal" post - but I had to respond when I seen the thread automatically, so laugh at me or what ever you guys ! I have to just to KEEP MY SANITY FOR ALL THESE YEARS ! and am lucky not to be a fucking serial killer because of being victimized to all the constant child abuse I had to endure, with not an ounce of counseling since. And I swear to God that when I do have children - NOT to replicate the fucked up shit I went through as a young kid and to love em unconditionally instead of the abuse I faced and be a loving father...always!!! :)

[tracky]

No one's laughing

[vickista]

If it's as bad as it sounds (and it sounds pretty bad) it'll rip your family apart anyway. If you say something it'll be bad for awhile, but at least there's the chance that it can be fixed. If you allow it to continue you'll just wind up hating your sister (because she hurts you) and your parents (because they aren't stepping in and stopping it). You might even wind up hating some of your friends for not saying anything. As hard as it will be, you really need to get help.


well my parents have tried to stop it, but it always happens when there at work which is between 5am and 8pm every day except sunday wen there at work all arvo. but when they get home they tell her off, but she doesnt exactly listen, i dont hate her for hurting me i hate that it makes me feel like no one in my family thinks im worth anything and that i dont belong(which is what im told almost all the time) my friends care, i no they do, but theres nothing they can do. whenever im walking down the corodore at skool and my sisters there they all gather round me as if to protect me, its really very thoughtful, but they wont tell anyone because i dont want them too, and i dont want anyone because even though they do all kinds of shit to me i love em , and that would tear up my parents and everyone involved more than i care to think about and i cant handle hurting them like that.

[Medellia]

ONly an asshole would make fun of you for that.

This was directed to CrankItUp, btw.

[CrankItUp!]

No one's laughing
thanks alot tracky (y)

[paulb]

CrankItUp, that is fuckin balls my man. That shit is depressing, I couldnt imagine what that would be like. But Im sure the old man had it coming, and I wouldnt blame ya for whaling on him either. Props.

[Medellia]

well my parents have tried to stop it, but it always happens when there at work which is between 5am and 8pm every day except sunday wen there at work all arvo. but when they get home they tell her off, but she doesnt exactly listen, i dont hate her for hurting me i hate that it makes me feel like no one in my family thinks im worth anything and that i dont belong(which is what im told almost all the time) my friends care, i no they do, but theres nothing they can do. whenever im walking down the corodore at skool and my sisters there they all gather round me as if to protect me, its really very thoughtful, but they wont tell anyone because i dont want them too, and i dont want anyone because even though they do all kinds of shit to me i love em , and that would tear up my parents and everyone involved more than i care to think about and i cant handle hurting them like that.
Well it's good that you have your friends there to protect you at school at least. You're very lucky for that.

As for tearing up your family, like I said, when you're an adult you will probably be pretty resentful and won't want to be around them. I haven't gone through abuse, but I have family members who have, and as adults they want nothing to do with the people who abused them, and resent the ones who could have stopped it but didn't. It probably will cause some serious damage to your family in the future. Better to get it over with now and work through it. Do you have a teacher you trust? You could talk to them. Just doing that would help alot.

[CrankItUp!]

ONly an asshole would make fun of you for that.

This was directed to CrankItUp, btw.
Thanks, and after thinking of and venting all this crap to all you guys to read, I'm shutting off and getting some much needed shut eye too..so thank you everybody!(y)

[vickista]

Well it's good that you have your friends there to protect you at school at least. You're very lucky for that.

As for tearing up your family, like I said, when you're an adult you will probably be pretty resentful and won't want to be around them. I haven't gone through abuse, but I have family members who have, and as adults they want nothing to do with the people who abused them, and resent the ones who could have stopped it but didn't. It probably will cause some serious damage to your family in the future. Better to get it over with now and work through it. Do you have a teacher you trust? You could talk to them. Just doing that would help alot.


well its too late for that because i already dread coming home, and haging around them. i have a teacher i could tell but i dont want it to make my parents look bad because they've worked really hard to earn enough money to provide us with eduation and everything, and they've been through alot and i mean they've never done anything wrong, but if i tell a teacher and that they might blame my parents, but its not there fault.

[Medellia]

well its too late for that because i already dread coming home, and haging around them. i have a teacher i could tell but i dont want it to make my parents look bad because they've worked really hard to earn enough money to provide us with eduation and everything, and they've been through alot and i mean they've never done anything wrong, but if i tell a teacher and that they might blame my parents, but its not there fault.
You said earlier that your parents have tried to stop her. All you have to do is say that to your teacher. As long as you say what you have on here I don't think it will reflect too badly on them. Besides, it sound like something's going on with her and that she might need help too.

[Medellia]

Thanks, and after thinking of and venting all this crap to all you guys to read, I'm shutting off and getting some much needed shut eye too..so thank you everybody!(y)
Aww, you're welcome. Was nothing.

Sweet dreams.

[vickista]

You said earlier that your parents have tried to stop her. All you have to do is say that to your teacher. As long as you say what you have on here I don't think it will reflect too badly on them. Besides, it sound like something's going on with her and that she might need help too.


im being so stupid, my eyes are all watery and shit, its so stupid.
alrite ill talk to the teacher but im still really scared. im being stupid rnt i crying, being scared. its funny to coz i feel able to say it to you freely abut it but im scared to tell a teacher. oh forget it im just being stupid, fuck man i cnt believe im crying over this shit man...

[Medellia]

im being so stupid, my eyes are all watery and shit, its so stupid.
alrite ill talk to the teacher but im still really scared. im being stupid rnt i crying, being scared. its funny to coz i feel able to say it to you freely abut it but im scared to tell a teacher. oh forget it im just being stupid, fuck man i cnt believe im crying over this shit man...
*hugs*
You aren't being stupid. It's very brave of you to talk about it. You shouldn't do it unless you're ready, but I think you are, otherwise you wouldn't have made this thread.

[tracky]

Vik, how long has this been going on?

[vickista]

Vik, how long has this been going on?


well im the middle child and i can remember since i was 6 yrs old feeling left out and kinda neglected, but the hitting started when i was i dno 10 and its getting worse and more frequent.

[tracky]

Sorry vik, I can't bring myself to give you advice because I fear that any advice I offer will make things worse. All I can say is to trust your instincts, because only you know what situations will develop depending on what action you take.

[vickista]

Sorry vik, I can't bring myself to give you advice because I fear that any advice I offer will make things worse. All I can say is to trust your instincts, because only you know what situations will develop depending on what action you take.


thats ok medillia helped out a bunch, so did you thank you im gonna tell my teacher and see how it goes from there ill keep ya posted, but im hoping it'll all go well.

[Medellia]

Good luck, Vicki. (y)

[vickista]

Good luck, Vicki. (y)



thnx for da support from all u guys, if i got uz backing me up i cant go wrong. (y)

[Medellia]

You're very welcome. Glad to help out.

[ms.peachy]

I know it will be really hard to open up to your teacher, but you really must tell someone. I would guess that your parents may already feel awful and helpless and don't know what to do, and it's clear that if your sister is lashing out in this way, she is suffering in some way as well that makes her act out like this. It sounds like your whole family needs some support and it might be rough at first for everyone to accept help (I'm guessing maybe esp your father, men in general find it particularly difficult to admit that they can't 'control' what is going on in their lives and I know that Greek culture is pretty macho). But be strong and do what you need to do.

[Anne Lauren]

I am by no means being insensitive to such a painful topic, at all...infact, my intensions are really quite the opposite.

But, unfortunately, "that's life"...people are born into unfair and rather cruel circumstances that they really have no control over, such as, having dysfunctional parents, born with both mental and/or physical handicaps, etc. Everyone has "their shit", so's to speak. My father was a womanizing "rich kid" that never really grew up and was never really involved in mine or my sibling's lives...and my best friend had a mother that was basically a "pill head" and it was embarrassing for her a lot of times growing up having her mother around at her school functions or dance recitals because she would say embarrassing things and act fucked up all the time. In other words...everything is relative. And what's so unfortunate about it, that when you are an adolescent, you really have no other options...well, you do, but, it shouldn't have to be that way and alot of times those options are typically gonna be not as desireable, if not worse than than the situation you're already in to begin with. You rely on your parents for support...such as, food, shelter, etc. Their job is to "help you grow" and build a "foundation" so that you can function, hopfully in a healthy manner, as an adult on your own. Some people do not need to be having kids...especially if they are busy "battleing their own demons"...because more than likely their children, as a result, will be affected negatively on all different sorts of levels...and it's hard to break that cycle.

However, like I mentioned earlier...that's life, for ya. And what's great about being an adult is that if you are able to recognize and truly understand your parents faults and you don't want that as a part of your life anymore...then you have the option to change it. You can not control other people's actions...only your own by the choices you make in life. That's what's great about life..."the world is your oyster", so's to speak. If you really want something bad enough...then you can make it happen. Like I said...it's all about the choices you make.

And the fact of the matter is that even really as an "adult"...life will throw out some real hurdles that you are constantly having to jump over...and it doesn't seem fair, at all. But, you deal with it and become a much wiser human being, as a result...hopfully. And in the end, hopfully, you'll realize that life really is great...and you can do and become anything that you set your mind to. Well...within reason that is.

[ms.peachy]

She's not an adult though. She's 13.

[bigblu89]

The beginning of this thread sounded like that scene in Jaws where tyey all compare battle scars.

[Anne Lauren]

She's not an adult though. She's 13.

Yeah, I haven't really had a chance to go back through and read all the posts in depth...I've been minimizing the screen and occationally clicking back on it while I'm working on a report for work. I just noticed the thread and it got me thinking...so I just replied with that comment. But, I'm gonna go back through and read it, though.

And, yes, I completely agree with you, though...as far as what I can tell as to the point you're making.

I just just need to go back and read everything, really...then I can really comment.

[enree erzweglle]

If you really want something bad enough...then you can make it happen.Sorry, Anne, but this sounds like a Hallmark card. No, a Dollar Store card. In one of those dollar stores where everything is fifty cents.

I can do it if I want it badly enough--that maybe works if I'm the only one in the picture and if I'm the only one that I have to rely on to get the result. Add people as variables and that whole thing: watch it go right out the dollar store window.

[Anne Lauren]

Sorry, Anne, but this sounds like a Hallmark card. No, a Dollar Store card. In one of those dollar stores where everything is fifty cents.

I can do it if I want it badly enough--that maybe works if I'm the only one in the picture and if I'm the only one that I have to rely on to get the result. Add people as variables and that whole thing: watch it go right out the dollar store window.

Hahahaha! No, I thought the "the world is your oyster" part sounded more like a hallmark card, if anything. But, that really was not my intensions, at all...to sound cheesy.

And, yes, I know all about that...how other "variables" play a part in the outcome of life. I mean, I could go into some personal details where that has definately been a factor in my life...and I've just recently, infact, gone through a lot of shit. But, I don't feel comfortable doing that and there's really no point to it.

More or less, I was just trying to give a broad take on what's helped me out, I guess...I can't speak for other people and I wasn't trying to come across that way, at all.

But, yes, I do understand your point. (y)

[enree erzweglle]

^^^That's sweet. And comforting. :) I'm glad that you're not an alias. :D

[Anne Lauren]

^^^That's sweet. And comforting. :) I'm glad that you're not an alias. :D

Huh? An alias?

[enree erzweglle]

Huh? An alias?Just a reference to a brouhaha from months past, when there was talk of various people being aliases. Aliasi? :)

[Anne Lauren]

Just a reference to a brouhaha from months past, when there was talk of various people being aliases. Aliasi? :)

Hahaha! (y)

[DapperDiverge]

I wish I could give everybody here a GREAT BIG HUG!! tears up

I really feel for those kids that get beat up by their parents and kids at school... it's like the abuse never stops...

If anyone here is still in grade school, please, if you see a kid constantly being physically abused beacuse of their looks, or sexuality or race, gender, size, whatever... please do something about it... I'm pretty sure many of us feel guilty for just standing around doing nothing... I mean if these adults aren't going to be adults and handle the situation they're being paid for, then we should set an example... and get those officials fired!

so many kids committing suicide because no one seems to care...I was one of these kids attempting but haven't succeeded. I promise one good person there for you is worth more than a fanfare of millions.

I'm pretty sure that kids that abuse other kids are doing it because they themselves are being abused... this cycle needs to stop... so many things can change and it only takes 1 person to do it... history makes this relevant (lb)

[jackrock]

I feel really bad for everybody :(
I don't know what much else to say, but, well the advice given above is pretty good stuff.
:(
just don't hold off telling somebody you trust, before it get's way too far.

[ms.peachy]

...you know in the breakfast club when the criminal does the little act of life at his place, that like me except its my sister who hits me, my parents curse at me all the time, but they dont hit, my sister goes psyco on me though....
Here's an article from yesterday's New York Times on sibling violence. (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/28/health/28sibl.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&incamp=article_popular_1) I thought it might be relevant here. It's kind of long but it's (I thought) very interesting.

[enree erzweglle]

My sister was the middle child and my parents maybe designated her as my protector. She took that to heart. She still half-tells me when to cross the street.

Which sometimes has nearly the opposite of the intended effect because when she does it and it surprises me that she's still doing it, I might stop cold in my tracks and then will nearly get hit by traffic. :)