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View Full Version : i think i'm tired of defendants


befsquire
03-09-2006, 12:36 AM
they're far too needy for me right now, and i've lost all patience with them.

and, i almost called the cops once a week or so ago (because i didn't think he'd become a client) and i did call them tonight (homeless looking motherfucker took my favorite jeans -- they cost $170 -- and bobby's hoodie out of the washer and left the laundry room as we were walking to it).

if a pd calls the cops, something's off. maybe i just need a vacation.

*sigh*

cosmo105
03-09-2006, 12:38 AM
at least you know he won't look as good in them as you do. :)

befsquire
03-09-2006, 01:43 AM
i have decided that it could be worse; he could have taken more of our clothes, and maybe he needed them more than i did. or his girlfriend did. or his boyfriend.

i really am getting tired of my clients though. one lady started crying in my office and i got annoyed. one client wants bond but i won't file the motion because he's going to pick up a 4th new case if he gets out, and i feel like the 3 cases i have him for is quite enough. and the next client that tells me he "ain't tryin' to do no jail time," i'm telling him that for not trying, he's doing an excellent job.

Loppfessor
03-09-2006, 01:47 AM
I told you to stick with the Hooter's job but noooo Ms. Smartie Pants had to go to law school.....ps how the crap did he gain access to your clothes?

befsquire
03-09-2006, 01:53 AM
if i hadn't ever started the whole "i'm paying my way through law school by working at hooters" thing, then i wouldn't have gone. i didn't want people to think i'm a liar. :(

we can't figure out for sure how he got in the building. if you try to enter from outside of the building from any other area than the parking garage, you need an HID card. if you're entering from the parking garage, you need a key. once inside the building, the hallways lead to all the apartments, and my apartment is on the other side of the laundry room (my bedroom wall is the shared wall). so i never rented a washer and dryer because it's quicker when you can do 3 loads at once and it's right there.

Loppfessor
03-09-2006, 01:55 AM
So he was actually in your home then?? Man I would take his ass on Judge Judy if I were you.

befsquire
03-09-2006, 01:59 AM
while not in our home, he was certainly in a structure where he didn't belong, and he stole something, thus the charges he could get are burglary of a structure and petit theft. at which point he becomes a whiny client who ain't tryin to do no jail time.

i have one client who took a lawnmower and pawned it. the lawnmower belonged to an assistant state attorney. ouch.

Loppfessor
03-09-2006, 02:01 AM
Hmm....well he still needs to be punished. Make him wash/wax your cars, mow your lawn, clean your gutters, and some other crappy chores.

roosta
03-09-2006, 02:59 AM
You should buy yourself a motor-bike, a shotgun, go down the DA's office and throw in your PD-license type thingy in defiance, and then take your own brand of rough justice to the streets.

ms.peachy
03-09-2006, 04:30 AM
and the next client that tells me he "ain't tryin' to do no jail time," i'm telling him that for not trying, he's doing an excellent job.
I imagine it must be pretty friggin exhausting to keep trying to help people who seem bound and determined not to be helped. Kudos bef; you're doin' the Lord's work :D

Pres Zount
03-09-2006, 06:04 AM
Maybe you should walk across the court and flick your long blonde hair and batter your eyelashes. That might fix things for you.

hardnox71
03-09-2006, 03:59 PM
and the next client that tells me he "ain't tryin' to do no jail time," i'm telling him that for not trying, he's doing an excellent job.
That is so funny!! Being someone who has had my little run-ins with the law and the courts, I have heard this mantra about eight million times. You hear it especially while sitting in the bullpens waiting to go to court. Or if the person is already in jail (county time) awaiting a court date then the mantra is changed to "I ain't trying to do no state time." (meaning the penitentiary). It becomes repetitive and quite annoying after a while. I have sat and listened to motherfuckers tell stories about standing on street corners and unloading full 17 shot clips at rival bangers or dealers or what have you, hitting everyone and everything but their fucking target and none of them think they should be locked up for it.

One of my favorties is when you ask someone, "What's your case?"

The reply is always, I mean always, "Man, these people (meaning the police) got me in here on some bullshit."

The guy could be charged with a triple homicide or child molestation or getting caught with a trunk full of semi-automatic weapons, but it's always some "bullshit that these people are trying to do to me."

That shit cracks me up.


btw-Bef, you used to work at Hooters? :cool:

bigblu89
03-09-2006, 04:09 PM
That brings the "Beastie Free Chicks that worked at Hooters" count to 2.

Not bad for a bunch of tree huggin hippie vegitarian bohemians.

hardnox71
03-09-2006, 04:14 PM
That brings the "Beastie Free Chicks that worked at Hooters" count to 2.

Not bad for a bunch of tree huggin hippie vegitarian bohemians.
Who is the first one, blu?

bigblu89
03-09-2006, 04:18 PM
That's not my business to tell...

hardnox71
03-09-2006, 04:21 PM
That's not my business to tell...
That's not fair!!! You brought it up, first!!

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CrankItUp!
03-09-2006, 04:52 PM
What kinda jeans cost $170 ? :confused:

CrankItUp!
03-09-2006, 06:17 PM
What kinda jeans cost $170 ? :confused:
I could git 17 blonde wigs fo dat price ! :D

You just gotta quit answering all the wrong ads, such as :

-- Bad tempered, foul mouthed old bastard and a troublemaker
seeks weathy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. :)

befsquire
03-14-2006, 11:44 PM
i never worked at hooters, as i lack the main attraction: huge hooters. :(

jeans that cost $170 = seven for all mankind.

Loppfessor
03-14-2006, 11:47 PM
i never worked at hooters, as i lack the main attraction: huge hooters. :(

jeans that cost $170 = seven for all mankind.


Lots of girls who work at hooters don't have large breasts....it's all in the padding.

Matt
03-15-2006, 12:15 AM
and the next client that tells me he "ain't tryin' to do no jail time,"

I LOVE THAT!

2sweet2Bsour
03-15-2006, 02:35 AM
they're far too needy for me right now, and i've lost all patience with them.

and, i almost called the cops once a week or so ago (because i didn't think he'd become a client) and i did call them tonight (homeless looking motherfucker took my favorite jeans -- they cost $170 -- and bobby's hoodie out of the washer and left the laundry room as we were walking to it).

if a pd calls the cops, something's off. maybe i just need a vacation.

*sigh*

My defendant talked my ear off today (yesterday?) about all his nifty creative legal arguments, some of which were of the variety of having been foreclosed by Supreme Court opinions circa 1967, the remaining of which would be most ill-advised given that we're trying to win a motion for summary judgment, which means avoiding fact issues, thank you very much, which includes, yes, INCLUDES, all the credibility-attacking, character-smearing "evidence" about plaintiffs he keeps pressing me to sneak into the brief. So then he gets done talking and he gets to go home while I stay up til 3 a.m. trying to get some real work done. Vacation? Tell me about it.