the internet really changed a lot of little things

[Bob]

it used to be that a father teaching his son how to tie a tie was a nice little bonding moment.

i just googled it

[roosta]

in the pub last night, one of the lad's packets of nuts randomly featured illustrated instructions on how to tie a windsor knot.

[rirv]

Now it's a father finding his son downloading copious amounts of hardcore pornography onto the family computer. That's a bonding moment.

[Bob]

i should also note that i looked it up while drunk

the story of why i'm drunk alone on the internet on a wednesday evening is an interesting one, one that is pertinent to the topic of this thread, but it is a story for later...maybe in 5 minutes

[TurdBerglar]

you're not allowed to be drunk and use "pertinent" at the same time

[zippo]

i drink and internet sometimes, what the hells the problem bobby

[TurdBerglar]

you may not know what the problem is but others do

[Bob]

you're not allowed to be drunk and use "pertinent" at the same time

you are if you're drinking wine! which i am

what happened is this; i decided that i wanted to try to get into wine, because if i'm going to be a successful high-priced lawyer, i ought to know a thing or two about wine. so i'm going to experiment with a different bottle every week or so, i figure i'll drink a glass a day, i hear it's good for the heart, which is important, because i've been worried about mine because i've been having minor chest pains now and then. i'm sure it's because of my diet but that's a whole other topic

anyway the reason it has anything to do with the thread is that i didn't know how to open it. i imagine that normally, learning how to open a bottle of wine is another one of those little bonding moments, or at least it used to be special in some kind of way. however, nobody was around, and also i don't want anyone to know that i'm drinking wine because i don't want them to think i'm gay, so i looked it up on the internet.

however, i also learned that in order to store wine after you've opened it, you either have to replace the cork, which i can't seem to figure out how to do, or cover it with plastic wrap and tie it up with a rubber band. but i don't have any rubber bands, so now i have to drink the whole bottle.

and that's why i'm drunk

[ericlee]

i should also note that i looked it up while drunk

the story of why i'm drunk alone on the internet on a wednesday evening is an interesting one, one that is pertinent to the topic of this thread, but it is a story for later...maybe in 5 minutes

I remember you posting something about drinking on a tuesday. Now it's wednsday and you're drunk?

I'm starting to see a pattern here Bob. You should at least get a maniquen so it doesn't seem like your drinking alone.

[Bob]

i drink and internet sometimes, what the hells the problem bobby

no problem really

let's have a toast zippo

to the internet!

[Bob]

I remember you posting something about drinking on a tuesday. Now it's wednsday and you're drunk?

I'm starting to see a pattern here Bob. You should at least get a maniquen so it doesn't seem like your drinking alone.

well originally, i was just drinking for my health, and also for science. i didn't plan to get drunk, it just happened by accident

[monkey]

dude, you never learned to cork a bottle? :( i think i learned as a wee child. then again, my country makes more wine than we have fresh water.

[fucktopgirl]

you are if you're drinking wine! which i am


what wrong with wine man!?

i drink some wine and shitchat

[Chicka B]

Yeah, I get on it right when I get home from school and never do my homework. So it really changed my grades a lot too. Well, Bs and Cs aint too bad, but I used to never get any Cs on a report card. :(

[Bob]

dude, you never learned to cork a bottle? :( i think i learned as a wee child. then again, my country makes more wine than we have fresh water.

i have not. and i was born in california! i moved when i was two, but still.

by "corK" do you mean opening it, or putting the cork back in? if it's the latter, i could still use someone to teach me, i couldn't even find anything about it on the internet. apparently it's so obvious that even the internet won't waste the time to write about it. but it doesn't fit!

[Matt]

i decided that i wanted to try to get into wine, because if i'm going to be a successful high-priced lawyer, i ought to know a thing or two about wine. so i'm going to experiment with a different bottle every week or so,




Thunderbird dosent count. Lawyers don't buy boxed wines, either.

[TurdBerglar]

you gotta get one of those winebottle doohickies, bob

[zippo]

will i sound like an idiot if i say im drinking disturbingly pink strawberry quick right now??

TO THE INTERNET!

[Bitchamachacha]

I like wine, but it gives me a different buzz than beer. It makes me warm all over and my vagina becomes numb.

You should research that, too, Bob. Why does wine make the vagina numb? Grow a vagina, have more wine and write a paper about it.

[Bob]

Thunderbird dosent count. Lawyers don't buy boxed wines, either.

i don't know what thunderbird is, but i'm totally not buying boxed wine. $10 jugs are also out. fuck you gallo brothers

aside from that though, i don't really know what i'm doing. i just read the descriptions. i got a $10 bottle (750 ml, you know, a normal sized bottle), it seemed to be on the cheap end, but not so cheap that it had a screw cap. it's a spanish wine, it's called uhh, "lan rioja crianza". i do not know what that means. it tastes quite nice though. but what do i know?

[TurdBerglar]

is there vodka in it?


edit: people post too fast

[Bob]

I like wine, but it gives me a different buzz than beer. It makes me warm all over and my vagina becomes numb.

You should research that, too, Bob. Why does wine make the vagina numb? Grow a vagina, have more wine and write a paper about it.

yeah it does that for me, too. except for the part about the vagina

[Saudi Hackerz]

TEH INTERNET IS THE DEVINE WORK OF ALLAH

[zippo]

dude, you never learned to cork a bottle? :( i think i learned as a wee child. then again, my country makes more wine than we have fresh water.

but ocfourse! chilean wine is spectacular

[fucktopgirl]

let not forget,autralian wine and surely italian!

[Matt]

i don't know what thunderbird is, but i'm totally not buying boxed wine. $10 jugs are also out. fuck you gallo brothers

Thunderbird is the cheap stuff that homeless people drink to forget that their wives left them and they live in a box.

$10 jugs are good if you're not buying for taste, but rather just to get fucking ripped.

[Bob]

you gotta get one of those winebottle doohickies, bob

ah hell, you're right. looks like it's called a "wine key" or something. why did they have to make wine so complicated damnit

this is not very college student friendly

[Bitchamachacha]

$10 jugs are good if you're not buying for taste, but rather just to get fucking ripped.


Mmmm..Wild Irish Rose.

Then there's Boone's Farm for the pansy ass winos. It's a fave amongst rednecks.

[Bob]

let not forget,autralian wine and surely italian!

i hear that italian, french, and california wines are the main ones (although maybe california was included just because the website was american, i don't know). i forget exactly why i went with spanish wine. i think i was thinking of valencia, for some reason.

[zippo]

it's a spanish wine, it's called uhh, "lan rioja crianza"


you mean La Rioja? if so thats an argentine wine from the interior part of the country

[Bob]

you mean La Rioja? if so thats an argentine wine from the interior part of the country

no, it says lan rioja...here's a picture of the label

http://www.krestonwines.com/Lan%20Ris.jpg

[ericlee]

Mmmm..Wild Irish Rose.



ripple

[zippo]

no, it says lan rioja...here's a picture of the label

http://www.krestonwines.com/Lan%20Ris.jpg

oh ok, just checking, you know, since youre a yank and all

[Bob]

oh ok, just checking, you know, since youre a yank and all

i can still read

[zippo]

i can still read

thats the european in you

[fucktopgirl]

i hear that italian, french, and california wines are the main ones (although maybe california was included just because the website was american, i don't know). i forget exactly why i went with spanish wine. i think i was thinking of valencia, for some reason.

hey,Valencia,i did travel there.Awsome town,i did some illegal camping in a orange orchard.BUt never drink the wine from there,,is it good??

[Bob]

thats the european in you

well played

i don't think it is a wine key, because i just googled "wine key" and that's what i have, that's what i used to open the wine. i don't see how i could use it to close it, though, the internet isn't helping me at all here.

[Bob]

hey,Valencia,i did travel there.Awsome town,i did some illegal camping in a orange orchard.BUt never drink the wine from there,,is it good??

i guess that's what it's supposed to be famous for. i am american though, i may be wrong. i don't know if my wine is from there, it doesn't say. it is very tasty for $10, though.

[TurdBerglar]

it's like this thing that grabs the neck fo the bottle and has wings on it that you crank up or down to open and close the bottle

[Bitchamachacha]

it's like this thing that grabs the neck fo the bottle and has wings on it that you crank up or down to open and close the bottle


Uh, that's a wine opener.

[TurdBerglar]

it also closes it!

well the one my grandmother has does

[Bob]

here's a picture of what i bought:

http://www.drinkmasterbartending.com/images/Wine_Key.jpg

it's very useful, it's got a little knife for cutting off the metal bit, it's got the corkscrew, it's got the bottle...gripping...thing. what a world.

are you referring to this:

http://www.giftfavors.com/acatalog/1694_lg_200.jpg

?

i didn't see any of those in the liquor store, unfortunately. i didn't look very hard, though, i was pretty sure the staff was looking at me funny. probably thinking i was gay and stuff

[TurdBerglar]

yes im referring to something simallar to that


but it has graspers with rubber grips for the bottle neck

[ericlee]

when I first read Bob's first link, I could swear it said drunk masterbating.

[Bob]

when I first read Bob's first link, I could swear it said drunk masterbating.

haha you're right, i see it too. i didn't even read the link at first

[zippo]

you know, i know a thing or two about wine, and ive never heard about this not putting back in the cork that it came with.

[Bob]

you know, i know a thing or two about wine, and ive never heard about this not putting back in the cork that it came with.

well, the plastic wrap thing is probably for idiots who throw away the cork or can't figure out how to put it back in. idiots like me :(

[zippo]

all you have to do is grab the bottle very firmly with one hand, while strongly pushing down and turning the cork simultaneously with the other hand

[Bob]

all you have to do is grab the bottle very firmly with one hand, while strongly pushing down and turning the cork simultaneously with the other hand

turn it....of course!

well, i've already had the whole bottle, now. but thank you!

[TurdBerglar]

maybe you can lubricate the bottle by putting it up your ass, floppywrists

[Bitchamachacha]

What's all of this talk about putting the cork back in?

Just drink the whole bottle, Bob, then try to cork it again--- using your penis.

[zippo]

haha

yea dude



uh, that was for bobs comment not wild orchid over there

[Bitchamachacha]

turn it....of course!

well, i've already had the whole bottle, now. but thank you!

Ahh..nevermind..

[Freebasser]

The sound of a cork squeaking inside a bottle cuts right through me like a thing cutting through stuff.

[Documad]

What I love about the internet is the shopping. I hate shopping.

I love that I can buy anything in the world in about five minutes. I especially love that I can find things like record needles and evergreen fountain pen ink.

[ericlee]

how ya feelin' now Bob? How much is left?

[ericlee]

oh , nevermind. I see you've left. Probably to do some drunk masterbating.

[TAL]

And he drank the whole bottle.

[ericlee]

And he drank the whole bottle.

oh no, I hope he doesn't have any roomates. Drunk masterbation usually leads to passing out in the process.

Not that I know or anything...

[steve-onpoint]

well originally, i was just drinking for my health, and also for science. i didn't plan to get drunk, it just happened by accident

yeah, Bob... cos that drunk thing... it's not so healthy. :o

[mikizee]

i always just turn the cork upside down then it goes in easy

[Medellia]

well played

i don't think it is a wine key, because i just googled "wine key" and that's what i have, that's what i used to open the wine. i don't see how i could use it to close it, though, the internet isn't helping me at all here.
Yar, this (http://www.beau-coup.com/heartwinestopper.htm) be what you need, Bob. And if somebody else already posted something like that, sorry. I'm only halfway through page two.

[Bob]

Yar, this (http://www.beau-coup.com/heartwinestopper.htm) be what you need, Bob. And if somebody else already posted something like that, sorry. I'm only halfway through page two.

it looks like a butt plug

[Medellia]

Hahaha...ewwwwwwwwwww.

[Qdrop]

wine is the nectar of the gods...

me and jenny go through about 5 bottles/week on the average.

[Bob]

wine is the nectar of the gods...

me and jenny go through about 5 bottles/week on the average.

i really did enjoy it, yeah, i hope i don't sound too fruity for saying it. it's a very different kind of drunk than beer. it's a sort of fiery, warm, "let's have romantic indiscretions" kind of drunk. kind of like a martini, but a little weaker. beer is more of a heavy, sloshy "let's talk very loudly and have mood swings" kind of drunk. they're both very fun in the right circumstances, but i'll be interested to try some more wines.

it gave me a nasty headache, though, i'm sure it's just a dehydration thing. there's no clean drinking water in the apartment. the filter's broken and our tap water is very...opaque

[abcdefz]

...it looks like you had a bottle of good old red table wine. Don't be embarassed about Spanish wine; that can be good. Chile and Portugal make some good reds, too.

You might try a California merlot next. That'll be a little little bit peppery, which can be very cool.

If you get a red wine that tastes too strong for, just let it sit and breathe for a bit. Ten to twenty minutes will soften things up.

Glad you figured out how to re-cork things.

If you decide to try some white wines, go for chardonnay. California, Oregon, Australia. Those can be really good. And that's your hearty white. If you want something lighter, try a reisling. California does some good stuff, or get the real thing from Germany.

Skip white zinfandel. They're just candy wines for non-wine drinkers, and you'll look like a tourist.

[Qdrop]

i really did enjoy it, yeah, i hope i don't sound too fruity for saying it. it's a very different kind of drunk than beer. it's a sort of fiery, warm, "let's have romantic indiscretions" kind of drunk. kind of like a martini, but a little weaker. beer is more of a heavy, sloshy "let's talk very loudly and have mood swings" kind of drunk. they're both very fun in the right circumstances, but i'll be interested to try some more wines.

it gave me a nasty headache, though, i'm sure it's just a dehydration thing. there's no clean drinking water in the apartment. the filter's broken and our tap water is very...opaque

it's the sulfides. they kill ya.
but you get used to it.

start out with lighter wines: rieslings, pinot grigio's (california or ITALIAN), white burgandy's (france). maybe some sweeter reds like petit noir.

chardonay is a little dryer, and has a distinct oaky taste that not everyone likes.

then you'll find yourself going more dry after a while...reds particularly. i don't know why, but you just do. Shiraz, Merlot....Cab Franc's, Cab Merlots, Cab Sav...

just buy a wine tasting book and that will tell you plenty.

stay away from box wines or discount wines. no white zinf.
but you also don't need to spend a shitload per bottle.

i typically spend between $7- $15, and you can get some great stuff.

[Sarky Devotchka]

i always just turn the cork upside down then it goes in easy

yeah. keep it classy bob, plastic wrap and a rubber band is for jerks and lesbians.