bus driver blood on my shirt

[Randetica]

so yesterday my mum showed the bus tickets for her and me..
i heard the bus driver saying something, thought he meant the kids behind me
i sat down and the driver started yelling through the whole bus "hey young girl! i talked to you and you acted like im not here! wheres your bus ticket?"
my mum showed again..
first i thought what an idiot but after one minute i couldnt hide my tears anymore..
me sitting there crying and snotting in my jacket, looking like a complete idiot with two huge plastic sunflowers in my hand while school kids banging against me.. you should have seen it! i looked like LOSER was written on my forehead!
im a person who always tries to be as nice and invisible (always looking down to the ground) as possible but im always getting in such shit situations again and again

thats one of the main reasons why i hardly ever leave home
feels like i cant survive outside
my self esteem is way too low
im starting a therapy very soon though

p.s. it was the same bus driver who sold us the tickets few hours before
and he seriously looked like a nazi

[zorra_chiflada]

i hate catching buses. and the bus drivers are always angry. that's probably because they don't get paid enough.

[instigator7022]

i miraculously (sp?) cut the top of my foot somehow this morning and bled on my jeans. I'm still wearing them though.

[ms.peachy]

OK I don't mean to be unkind here, but seriously, why did a bus driver yelling at you mkae you cry? Obviously it's not the most pleasant thing to have happen, but it's kinda like... um... what's the big deal? Like I said I'm not trying to be mean, but do you not think you maybe overreacted a little?

[Sarky Devotchka]

she's back!

wait, where'd the blood come from? I was waiting to read something about his face exploding.

[Randetica]

OK I don't mean to be unkind here, but seriously, why did a bus driver yelling at you mkae you cry? Obviously it's not the most pleasant thing to have happen, but it's kinda like... um... what's the big deal? Like I said I'm not trying to be mean, but do you not think you maybe overreacted a little?


people who have self esteem dont understand it
people with self esteem would say fuck it or got mad and forget about it in 2 seconds
but for my soul are such situations pure horror

[ms.peachy]

people who have self esteem dont understand it
people with self esteem would say fuck it or got mad and forget about it in 2 seconds
but for my soul are such situations pure horror
Ok, I get that this is an issue for you, and I'm not trying to minimise it. What I'm wondering though is really, why did it upset you so, as in, what at the time did you feel was the actual consequence. Like, why were you so horrified, what would is the worst possible outcome that you imagine could happen that it would upset you so?

[Bob]

hey randy

[Randetica]

Ok, I get that this is an issue for you, and I'm not trying to minimise it. What I'm wondering though is really, why did it upset you so, as in, what at the time did you feel was the actual consequence. Like, why were you so horrified, what would is the worst possible outcome that you imagine could happen that it would upset you so?

it kinda felt like those times when my dad yelled at me day for day
he told my mum that he feels some serious hate for me
i blame him for my phobia


hey bob

[ms.peachy]

it kinda felt like those times when my dad yelled at me day for day
he told my mum that he feels some serious hate for me
i blame him for my phobia

:( wow, that's really crap. Sorry to hear that.

[Randetica]

umm thanks
im having hardcore depressions since years also because feeling like a rat in a way too small cage that i call home

[buddylee]

glad you found you way back here!
Wow , when did you make the big step on going out side! CONGRATS!
Don't let some random a-hole blow it for you. thier's lots if cool Ppl out thier .
Very happy to here that you are working to inprove your life! Seeing a doctor is a big step ... sound like your on the right track!

[Randetica]

hey long time no see

i was just out with my mum which isnt thaaat rarely happening