DandyFop
03-28-2006, 06:32 PM
For my friend's 23rd bday, we had a Fondue N Porn Party. Except, one problem arose, which I was afraid of. It was all gay guys, thus...we had all gay porn. Now I might not mind two guys making out or something, maybe even doing it, but licking hairy buttholes is not something I find attractive.
I was also extremely freaked out when they put a hose up a guy's butt and then had him squirt the water back out - though, if this ever becomes a kind of Olympic sport, that guy would probably win for distance.
My friend and I went in search of straight porn, with about 10 dollars in our pocket (yes, we know you can get it online but we wanted some shitty plotlines, not just money-shots). The only shit we could find was 20 - 30 bucks, so we came back empty-handed. Then I remembered, duh, Pay-Per-View! We ended up watching some Swingers porn that was pretty lame, and didn't even have the bad plot-lines we were looking for. Some girl that looked about 15 because she was flat as a board and had braces, queefed constantly and said thinds like "do you like it when my pussy talks to you baby?". I guess that was a way of turning a negative into a positive...
I did save the chocolate fondue though.
Some of my friends who've never been "intimate" got freaked out when the girls were constantly gagging themselves on the over-sized penises, but I guaranteed them that that's not what has to transpire.
So the moral of the story is here, folks - if you're going to have a fondue and porn party, make sure that you get some good porno before coming. And also, if the chocolate isn't melting just use the damn microwave, DUH!
I was also extremely freaked out when they put a hose up a guy's butt and then had him squirt the water back out - though, if this ever becomes a kind of Olympic sport, that guy would probably win for distance.
My friend and I went in search of straight porn, with about 10 dollars in our pocket (yes, we know you can get it online but we wanted some shitty plotlines, not just money-shots). The only shit we could find was 20 - 30 bucks, so we came back empty-handed. Then I remembered, duh, Pay-Per-View! We ended up watching some Swingers porn that was pretty lame, and didn't even have the bad plot-lines we were looking for. Some girl that looked about 15 because she was flat as a board and had braces, queefed constantly and said thinds like "do you like it when my pussy talks to you baby?". I guess that was a way of turning a negative into a positive...
I did save the chocolate fondue though.
Some of my friends who've never been "intimate" got freaked out when the girls were constantly gagging themselves on the over-sized penises, but I guaranteed them that that's not what has to transpire.
So the moral of the story is here, folks - if you're going to have a fondue and porn party, make sure that you get some good porno before coming. And also, if the chocolate isn't melting just use the damn microwave, DUH!