egg donation - discuss

[hpdrifter]

I always see the ads in the local free weekly paper for companies that offer money for women to donate their eggs.

Just curious, what are the BBMB women's thoughts on this? Would you ever consider it? Do you know anyone who has done it? If you would consider it, would you want it to be anonymous?

I always wonder these things when I see the ads.

As for me, I'm not sure. It would be strange to have a child of my genetic makeup out there that I didn't know.

If I were infertile I don't know if I'd want to have a child like that, with someone else's genetic make up. Isn't it possible to have your own egg harvested or something? Why would someone pay so much to purchase someone else's egg?

What a crazy society we live in.

[enree erzweglle]

No, I don't think I'd donate eggs. I'd want to help, yes, but I would not want that to be a random thing (my eggs going to a random person) but at the same time, I would want total anonymity (in terms of my identity being protected and in terms of me not knowing who the recipient or her guy was).

And, I'd wonder if the kid would eventually come after me the way some adopted kids go after their birth moms. I wouldn't want to run the chance of a donated-embryo-kid finding me. Like if technology progresses to a point where someone could easily dna-hunt me down--I would not like or want that.

[Sarky Devotchka]

you have to be healthy and stuff to donate eggs. I'm not healthy. also, it does seem weird to have someone you don't know running around with your genes.

[Nuzzolese]

That is a really serious and potentially dangerous thing to do to your body. It's not like men donating sperm. They give you fertility drugs that you have to take over time. It can fuck with your hormones and possibly throw your body out of whack for years. You have to be very, very healthy and it takes a big commitment on your part to do your share of what it takes to get them enough eggs. I wouldn't do it because of these reasons. And I'd feel like selling it would just be cheap of me. I don't even sell plasma though.

[Documad]

No, I don't think I'd donate eggs. I'd want to help, yes, but I would not want that to be a random thing (my eggs going to a random person) but at the same time, I would want total anonymity (in terms of my identity being protected and in terms of me not knowing who the recipient or her guy was).

And, I'd wonder if the kid would eventually come after me the way some adopted kids go after their birth moms. I wouldn't want to run the chance of a donated-embryo-kid finding me. Like if technology progresses to a point where someone could easily dna-hunt me down--I would not like or want that.
Exactly! There are people trying to track down sperm donors already.

I know someone who was just tracked down by a biological daughter she gave up for adoption at birth. They promised complete secrecy, but no one can really promise, or deliver, that anymore.

[enree erzweglle]

Exactly! There are people trying to track down sperm donors already.

I know someone who was just tracked down by a biological daughter she gave up for adoption at birth. They promised complete secrecy, but no one can really promise, or deliver, that anymore.A friend of a friend does this stuff for a living: when someone wants to know who their birth parents were OR when a birth parent wants to know about the kid s/he put up for adoption, my friend's friend tracks down those people and reunites them or tries to.

She sees what she does as the noblest of things. She doesn't at all get that some people don't want to be tracked down.

She's convinced that those birth parents or the adopted kids who get hunted down and who are reluctant to be identified are reluctant only at first and that they will warm up to the idea, cozy up to the situation, have happy lives. To her, each person in these situations is a Dickens character waiting for a rescue and I think yikes and damn.

[DapperDiverge]

hell no i wouldn't donate my precious worthless eggs... they're mine, ALL MINE growls

and another thing, i'm so tired of people doing this fertility shit... there are so many poor kids out there ready to be adopted but are just stuck in those orphanages like dogs at a shelter... stop breeding them if you're not going to be feeding them!!

that's why i'm pro-choice!! cuz people are just selfish... i'm not happy unless the kid comes from me mentality is messed up!! at least if you abort, you know that you're not bringing a helpless soul into this world just to end up with the government(n)... and you know these kids are probably being experimented on... at least that's what i heard

[instigator7022]

i think i would donate it i felt up for it at the time. But what is the procedure? if it's really weird i change my mind.

[enree erzweglle]

i think i would donate it i felt up for it at the time. But what is the procedure? if it's really weird i change my mind.
It's not like you go somewhere, look through a magazine, and then drop an egg in a cup. It's complex (http://www.stanford.edu/class/siw198q/websites/eggdonor/procedures.html).

[cosmo105]

i hate the way they advertise it as this easy great thing that gives you tons of money for little work.

[DapperDiverge]

who the hell would do this?? i don't get it??:confused:

[cosmo105]

somehow that doesn't surprise me...

[Documad]

She's convinced that those birth parents or the adopted kids who get hunted down and who are reluctant to be identified are reluctant only at first and that they will warm up to the idea, cozy up to the situation, have happy lives. To her, each person in these situations is a Dickens character waiting for a rescue and I think yikes and damn.
Those reunions always look so good on TV. I haven't seen a Donahue-type show in years, but I remember.

In the case I was talking about, the opposite happened. It's had bad consequences. The birth mother did a noble thing in carrying the baby to term, but she didn't want her family to know that she had gotten pregnant and so she never told them. The kid came back years later and exposed her secret by approaching the birth mother's extended family after the birth mother spurned her in no uncertain terms. And the kid seems to have some issues.

One of my close friends was adopted and has no interest in finding her birth parents. It would be so unfair if one of them looked her up.

[instigator7022]

It's not like you go somewhere, look through a magazine, and then drop an egg in a cup. It's complex (http://www.stanford.edu/class/siw198q/websites/eggdonor/procedures.html).

i change my mind

[enree erzweglle]

Those reunions always look so good on TV. I haven't seen a Donahue-type show in years, but I remember.

In the case I was talking about, the opposite happened. It's had bad consequences. The birth mother did a noble thing in carrying the baby to term, but she didn't want her family to know that she had gotten pregnant and so she never told them. The kid came back years later and exposed her secret by approaching the birth mother's extended family after the birth mother spurned her in no uncertain terms. And the kid seems to have some issues.

One of my close friends was adopted and has no interest in finding her birth parents. It would be so unfair if one of them looked her up.Right! There is no way to make this stuff iron clad--these anonymity agreements. And even if there was a way to do it now, would it stand the test of time? And there is *no* way of knowing how people on either end will react to hearing that they were adopted or that their adopted kids want to find them. It's just bad all around. My friend tries to convince his friend that maybe her mission isn't as noble as she thinks it is, but it's sort of a futile/moot thing because she is convinced that she's doing a greater good.

It's kind of selfish for her (I think she likes the high she gets at the thoughts of having created a happy ending) and it's selfish for the people who are seeking those other people out. Lives upended in probably most cases. Unless everyone found a way to live life in a vacuum, it's not just about the kid and the birth parents.

[ms.peachy]

My sister did it. My sis did it for two reasons: 1) quite honestly, the money and 2) she's good genetic material. She was putting herself through grad school and really needed the several thousand dollars, and she figured it was an honest way to get it - she would help some people get the child they badly wanted. She's intelligent, has naturally blond hair, blue eyes, great skin, straight teeth, nearly perfect eyesight, no family history of genetically linked illnesses, etc, so the program she entered was more than happy to take her on. As a matter of weird coincidence, she ended up being the donor to a couple based here in London where I live - and she is in California. Funny how life is! So somewhere in London there is a child who was born in February 2003 that is my niece or nephew. (We don't know which one; she was only told that it was a 'successful donation' and that a healthy full term baby was delivered.) It occurs to me occasionally, since I am often around young children, that I could be right next to him or her and not know. Which is kind of cool, I think.

As enree has pointed out, it is complex. As I recall my sis had to inject herself and do a bunch of other stuff during the cycles, and of course take extra good care of herself and all, and some sort of minor surgery thing I think to harvest the eggs. But she doesn't regret it or anything, if anything I think she's quite pleased to have done it.

[DapperDiverge]

i'm sorry, but if i needed thousands of dollars, fast... i'd be a hitman... i'm sorry, hitperson.

my body's not good enough for striping...i could be a prostitute, but.... hmmm, why not?

i'm even willing to be a human guinea pig for medical drugs, cosmetics or any other products.... just kidding, of course

but the world don't move to the beat of just one drum...what might be right for you, (or your sister) might not be right for some

[ms.peachy]

i'm sorry, but if i needed thousands of dollars, fast... i'd be a hitman... i'm sorry, hitperson.

LOL it wasn't 'fast'. It takes months.

Curious why you see making money by taking a life as preferrable to giving one, though?

[DapperDiverge]

LOL it wasn't 'fast'. It takes months.

Curious why you see making money by taking a life as preferrable to giving one, though?


honestly, i'm not a "people" person... it's so much easier, and faster, to kill a living thing than create one...thus, my money is wired to my bank account (direct deposit) instead of being sent thru the mail(y)

[Nuzzolese]

You don't automatically get a direct deposite when you're a hitperson. You have to go through Hitperson Resources to arrange that.

[beastieangel01]

I've considered it. I looked in to it more and decided to hold off on it. Mainly because I would have to get off of birth control and um, no. I need to do it with my man without worry, thanks. Ha. Although I could use the money, I decided to pass. That and injections, yikes. Not only crazy hormones (which I already have because of my pills) but I have to stick a needle in myself?

I can't.

[jabumbo]

a hospital here was paying out 10k to any man who would donate a testicle

[zorra_chiflada]

yeah i would. i can't get pregnant anyway, so i have no use for my eggs. it's only dna. i believe a parent is someone who raised you and nurtured you, not the person that your dna comes from. if they wanted to meet me, i'd be cool with that. maybe they'd inherit my big nose, who knows?

but anyway, i'm gonna adopt kids for myself, might as well put my eggs to a good use.

[Freebasser]

a hospital here was paying out 10k to any man who would donate a testicle

How are you going to spend that 20 grand then?

[ms.peachy]

... you're technically causing a child to be born and I wouldn't be cool with bringing someone here and abandoning them and not caring for them when I caused them to need that care.
Well in the first place, there is no guarantee that your donation would be 'successful', ie, result in a viable pregnancy, plus it's not like your little egg develops into a child all on it's own, so you aren't 'causing a child to be born'. Secondly, if there is a child eventually pild concieved produced, it's hardly an 'abandoned' child - I mean, do you have any idea what the couples who go down this route have to go through? Quite aside from the expense, the emotional intensity is HUGE. A child concieved this way is very much a wanted child. Remember too, you may be contributing the egg, but the other woman is (generally) the one who carries the child and gives birth to it.

I think it's a really great gift. Now that I'm a bit older and have known a couple of women/couples who cannot have children of their own, or who have been through miscarriages and failed IVF cycles and such, I have a much greater appreciation for how much it means.

[King of Rock $]

I cooked some eggs once