will I regret this?

[beastieangel01]

Yeah a silly personal "asking for advice post." Sorry in advance.

So, I have been trying to figure out what's most important and how to manage my life, etc.

Right now I am full-time school and working as I've mentioned before, and going crazy because I NEVER have time for anything else... or rarely do. And when I do have free time, I do nothing since I am so flippin tired from working/so much school (usually I will just sleep more since I need it).

I really really hate this. I want to stay in school but I think that perhaps I should cut back to being part-time.

I used to do an on-line radio show and LOVED it. It was only once a week for two hours. I want to be able to commit to that again. It made me happy. I want to be able to go to the gym more because that makes me feel good too, but I rarely go now since I don't have time. And I want to work a little more since I literally have 2 dollars of elbow room to work with on my current budger (and believe me, that's after really cutting back on everything I do not need, I have very very little left for anything considered to be "fun" money) and want to actually have a little cash I can SAVE to build my savings account up again (I like to have at least 1000 in cushion money for emergencies... I feel so weird not having that in the bank). I also want to have some more time to be able to make art that I WANT to make, not art that I HAVE to make for a class. Being forced to make something is fine but I don't like when I have zero time for my own stuff :(

So, does it seem like I should go with the part-time school idea? Or should I just stay, well, unhappy because working my ass off right now will be good for me?

bah.

[bigblu89]

I personally can't figure out how you don't have time.

In my late teens/early 20's I worked 40 hours and went to school full time, and I still found time to goof off and get 3.5's for the most part.

But that's not here nor there...

But my suggestion is.. You're still relatively young. A year or two of no social life and letting yourself go (so to speak) will be worth it when you spend the next 40 years in your dream job.

5 years into your career, you'll forget how hard college life was.

[beastieangel01]

well it's complicated and I've broken it down before. Aside from work and school (and the classes being 3 hours or more long, and meeting twice a week), there is the homework, and homework for art classes are the kinds of things I won't just work an hour on half-ass and say "ok done." I work HARD on them. Furthermore, going to the gym is SO KEY for me because of my horrible immune system. Then, I cannot afford to eat out so since I am rarely home during the week I have to cook all my meals ahead of time, so cooking and preparing things for 5 days straight takes time. Then with my bad dust allergies, I really have to clean every week, the entire house almost. Then I have to be sure to wash the bed sheets EVERY week as well so my allergies don't go crazy on me. Etc etc etc. It all takes a LOT of my time.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I worked my ass off in high school and college, I think that's why I'm so lazy now. all that work made me tired. :(

I always just wanted to get the shit done, so I took summer classes, a full course load, etc. however, I did have some monetary help and didn't have to work full time.

[kll]

crystal, look at it this way - if you got hit by a bus tomorrow and died, would you be satisfied with what you've done so far or will you have major regrets for not taking the time to enjoy life more? figure out that answer and you'll see what you need to do...

[bigblu89]

well it's complicated and I've broken it down before. Aside from work and school (and the classes being 3 hours or more long, and meeting twice a week), there is the homework, and homework for art classes are the kinds of things I won't just work an hour on half-ass and say "ok done." I work HARD on them. Furthermore, going to the gym is SO KEY for me because of my horrible immune system. Then, I cannot afford to eat out so since I am rarely home during the week I have to cook all my meals ahead of time, so cooking and preparing things for 5 days straight takes time. Then with my bad dust allergies, I really have to clean every week, the entire house almost. Then I have to be sure to wash the bed sheets EVERY week as well so my allergies don't go crazy on me. Etc etc etc. It all takes a LOT of my time.


Which is why I said how I did things is neither here nor there.

But that part about busting your ass for a few years, and reaping the benefits afterwards, that's how things shoud go.

[beastieangel01]

crystal, look at it this way - if you got hit by a bus tomorrow and died, would you be satisfied with what you've done so far or will you have major regrets for not taking the time to enjoy life more? figure out that answer and you'll see what you need to do...

Thanks kll. Thanks sarky as well. I imagine that I would regret.

Yeah I don't know. I have this voice in my head, my Father, saying how he worked so hard and everything and so I should just deal with it but then again... he had a family to support! He had a kid, his wife... I don't have a kid or a spouse I need to support. He also had to support his entire family when his Father died (at the age of 12). So in a way, I am not sure if this feeling of obligation to work myself to death vs giving myself a little space is because of the mindset that has been instilled in me since day 1 or what.

Also, more complications but I do have an associates degree from a college that I really didn't want to go to. My Dad said I should though so I went with him, then a scholarship was available and he told me to apply, so I said fine and did. I won it, oddly enough, and then I basically felt forced to go to his place I didn't want since it was free. So that was two years of school that I didn't even want involvement in.

I guess I'm just struggling between how I was always forced or felt obligated vs what actually makes me happy and keeps me sane.

[The Notorious LOL]

cut back to part time in school. You arent on a timeline to get it done with now, plus if you can get your finances in line for the time being and live okay within your means it'll be less stressful overall.

[beastieangel01]

cut back to part time in school. You arent on a timeline to get it done with now, plus if you can get your finances in line for the time being and live okay within your means it'll be less stressful overall.

Yeah that was another thing, no timeline. Also since my finances (well credit score) was fucked with medical debts, I cannot get a student loan on my own. The debt HAS gone down but I want to get all of it paid off so it's no longer on my record. I was thinking that saving up the money (i.e. working more, less school) to pay that stuff off so I can get that student loan would help a lot. Everything right now is paid out of pocket for school so with the loan... yeah. I'd like to get that taken care of.

[The Notorious LOL]

have you ran a credit report recently to see what exactly you owe or what if anythings in collections and how to best get it all caught up?


I had terrible credit a year ago but its quite good now. Its just hard to get your head above water. I worked some overtime and just paid stuff off slowly and I was good. But yeah...work more or do some part time work or whatever will get you ahead and in a hurry.

[beastieangel01]

have you ran a credit report recently to see what exactly you owe or what if anythings in collections and how to best get it all caught up?

yeah, I have a HORRIBLE score haha. 550 :( All because of medical debt. There was one mistake that I took care of though so that helped I think, and I paid off one collector completely. 5 more to go I believe. It does indicate the original balance and current balance of the money owed and the current ones ARE lower, so I guess that's good. I am paying them all once a month through CCCS (Consumer Credit Counseling Service). All the collections wanted me to pay at least 50 a month and all together so I would have been paying 300 a month which I still couldn't afford. I had to go to CCCS to get it lowered to 90 a month (thank god).

[befsquire]

my only concern is that if you start earning more money by working more, you will get into a position where you depend on it and you can't go back to full time later if that's what you want to do.

i think you know the answer to your question, but you want someone to give the answer you're looking for so that you won't feel you're making the wrong choice. whether anyone agrees with your decision is irrelevant because you need to live your life for you and not for anyone else. life is too short to spend trying to please others, so just worry about making yourself happy. :)

[CrankItUp!]

Do this :

Get totally fuckin' bare ass naked one night and go for a nice midnight bicycle ride and hit bumps purposefully so your tits jiggle and your ass wiggles !

Call me fuckin' crazy..but YOU'LL ONLY BE YOUNG ONCE! IN THIS LIFETIME!..and should just say "Fuck It !" every once in a while instead of relying on watchin' movies about "other people" experiencing the good times. (y)

[Documad]

my only concern is that if you start earning more money by working more, you will get into a position where you depend on it and you can't go back to full time later if that's what you want to do.
What she said. Or maybe you stop for a while and don't go back. That happened to my best friend and she really regrets it now. It seems like that wouldn't be a problem for you though.

I worked full time all through college and law school. There were times when I took a full load of classes and times when I didn't. I was happier AND got more out of school when I took fewer classes.

My biggest regret is that I didn't have more fun in my last two years of college. My second biggest regret is that I didn't have the time to take more seminar-style classes (like you mentioned with the art classes, the time commitment to homework and labs was too great when I was working full time).

[Rancid_Beasties]

If you were in Australia, you wouldnt have to worry about applying for a student loan because you'd get a government loan called a hecs help loan. It is interest free, and you dont have to pay back until you earn over $35,000 a year. Also, the course fees are heavily subsidised anyway, I will only end up paying $30,000 Australian (so about $20,000 US) over 5 years for an Arts degree and a Law Degree at one of the top Universities in the world. Its a good middle ground between free tertiary education and the awful payment system you guys have over there.

[hardnox71]

But my suggestion is.. You're still relatively young. A year or two of no social life and letting yourself go (so to speak) will be worth it when you spend the next 40 years in your dream job.

Although I can't speak from experience (never been to college) I have to agree with Blu. Just go ahead and grind and get the shit over with. All the vacations and running around and little things you want to do now will be alot more fun later on when you actually have the money to do them right. You're not missing a goddamn thing right now. Trust me.

[Medellia]

I'd say cut down on school. Cutting back on work clearly isn't an option because of your financial situation, and you don't seem like you can continue on like this. Could cause more problems with your immune system. Getting all of it out of the way is pointless if you're too ill from working yourself so hard to enjoy it.

[beastieangel01]

Beth, I cannot thank you more for your comments :) I am definitely the type just trying to get reassurance about what I've decided in the back of my head, heh.

I'd say cut down on school. Cutting back on work clearly isn't an option because of your financial situation, and you don't seem like you can continue on like this. Could cause more problems with your immune system. Getting all of it out of the way is pointless if you're too ill from working yourself so hard to enjoy it.

yeah exactly. I mean I wish I could grind things out but for me personally, for peace of mind and body, I need to balance things out instead.

Thanks to everyone that chimed in. This was driving me nuts before :p

[Justin]

During my final semester at school I had 26 hours and everybody was tellin me how crazy and stupid I was for taking all of those, but i passed. The key thing was I had Friday's off, although I did have a saturday morning class that was 4 hours long!

The key thing is you have to be motivated. Me personally I would rather take a loan out and pay for my schooling and have extra money to spend rather than working my ass off at a minimum paying job and not having fun

[beastieangel01]

I'm plenty motivated. If you read some of the posts within this thread that I made though, you would know that I cannot get a loan. Otherwise, I would have done that in the first place.

[SobaViolence]

i cut back from fulltime because my parents can't afford me and uni funds have to last 2 other siblings.

i love it. it's laidback, leaves time for work and you still get a life. money isn't everything, and yes, that means eating oatmeal somewhere between 4 to 8 time a week.

i know it sucks now, but i see it turning around in a couple years.

success(the worthwhile kind) is gradual. frustration and suffering are only temporary.

keep fighting the good fight.