I broke a drunken squaddie's collarbone

[mp-seventythree]

I was out with some friends celebrating a birthday last night, and we were drinking in O'Neills. It's always full of squaddies on a Saturday night and I don't really like it in there because it's packed and there is always some prick trying to start trouble. Anyway I'd just got a round in and was standing by the bar watching the band getting ready to play. The music started and these guys all started dancing round like twats. I ignore them for a few minutes and then one of them bounces into my friend Dawn, knocking her into a group of people. I told him to take it easy and he just punched me in the face. It hurt like fuck, so I grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from everyone else. I told him to grow up, and that maybe trying to mosh in a pub containing 300+ people is probably not a good idea.
He was having none of it, and lunged for me again. This time I saw it coming and ducked out of the way, and jammed two fingers inside his collarbone, pulling down as hard as I could. I heard a crack and the guy went down on his knees, crying out in pain. I noticed that he wasn't able to move his arm, guessed I'd broken something so I ran to get one of the bouncers. They called an ambulance and then started asking me what had happened. I explained the situation and told them to check out their CCTV.

Apparently I haven't heard the last from this twat and he now wants to kill me. But by now the military police have probably caught up with him (if soldiers are involved in bar fights, it seems to be standard policy to call the MPs in) so he's gonna be in a lot of shit. The military in Colchester have always had a problem with soldiers starting shit in town, so now they tend to make an example of them.

This is great, a squaddie wants to try and kick my arse again, and I start my new job on Thursday with a well swollen face.

[Sarky Devotchka]

ouch. good job though.

[Lyman Zerga]

sounds like he deserved it

*slaps mpees other facial side*
ah looks better now

[mp-seventythree]

Don't do that, I'll look like a chipmunk:D

[Lyman Zerga]

nothing wrong with dat
best show ever!

[mp-seventythree]

Yeah but I have to face the public like that, wearing uniform. Not a good first impression...

[Lyman Zerga]

wear 50 uniforms at once and everyone thinks youre just fat

[mp-seventythree]

I don't need to wear any more than one uniform for people to think I'm fat (sadly).

One more thing for me to work on...

[Lyman Zerga]

im okay with that aslong as you fit into your pimp mobile..

[mp-seventythree]

Since you were last here I've probably had 4 or 5 other pimpmobiles. The latest one is a Golf, so it's not really a pimpmobile at all.

[Lyman Zerga]

i dont wanna hear it!! stop it!! thats not the kind of truth i want to hear!!


so hows you and your pimp mobile?


god im tired

[mp-seventythree]

I'm good (apart from the face), I had a knee operation a month ago, and that's healing nicely, I just got promoted at work so everything is pretty good with me. How about you? How is life in Austria?

[Lyman Zerga]

sounds good

i got fatter (but on a diet right now) just dyed my hair, starting a therapy soon, found a good lotion for my skin so that i dont have to shower all day long anymore.. since a few weeks it feels like im not in such hardcore depressions anymore
getting closer to my life goals :)

oh back to the roots
i hope the twat wont kill you!

[mp-seventythree]

Update: Yesterday I saw two guys who were with the squaddie when he attacked me. One of them said the guy was all talk (about wanting to kill me), and that he was blown away by the fact that somebody could do so much damage with two fingers. The guys I spoke to last night changed my opinion of squaddies, it seems they're not all macho bullshit cunts after all:)

[ericlee]

I take it that squaddie is another term for soldier. The ones who talk shit are always the biggest punks. They take the fact that they're military trained in the wrong direction and try to start fights with civilians.

I remember this one guy just got finished with Marine boot camp and went home for his 20 day r and r and he decided to pick a fight with the toughest guy in my hometown and got his ass handed to him, bigtime. Even funnier, this guy wasn't even a full time marine and his m.o.s. was a cook.

[hardnox71]

Even after he punched you in the face you were still trying to talk to him.

I am amazed at your restraint. I have what you would call a little bit of a temper in situations like that and don't really do a whole lotta talking. I would like to be the bigger man and take the high road sometimes but my temper slips into system override and my brain is just like, "fuck it." Especially when it comes to someone putting their hands on me first. I really can't see a reason for talking after that.

But I must say job well done.

[mp-seventythree]

If my girlfriend and her boss hadn't been there I would have just dropped him big time. But you know how women are about fighting, I'd have been the bad guy. At least this way the guy got what he deserved without me looking like a cunt in front of everyone.

Ericlee - yeah, squaddie is Brit slang for soldier, and this one was a serious gobshite. He got everything that was coming to him. If I hadn't taken him out someone else would have done pretty soon.

Alex - thanks for referring to me as a big bald bloke. And when are you joining up? I know you mentioned the army a while back.

[ASsman]

Sounds like they aren't very well trained in the hand to hand combat. Hah, good work. Turn the other cheek, then kick his ass.

[mp-seventythree]

Good stuff. Hope it all goes okay, let us know how you get on. And if you end up in Colchester I'll take you for a beer(y)

[sab0tage]

I went to Uni at Plymouth and there were several fights every time the marines were on leave. Never got involved in one myself but had to deal with their stinking attitudes regularly and had a couple of friends who got a good kicking.

Good for you(y)

[ericlee]

the great thing about it is I wonder how he explained the incident to his c.o. If it wasn't a good lie, it's a guarentee that he's probably stuck on latrine detail, broken collar bone and all. Bwahahaha!! Good show.