My boyfriend is trying to get me to get a colonic.

[alruggs]

He must really think I'm full of shit. :o

[The Notorious LOL]

*ba dum ching*

[alruggs]

I'm serious though. I don't think I can do it. DDD is braver than I.

[Sarky Devotchka]

tell your boyfriend to mind his business!

[cosmo105]

i used to think they had some benefit, but now i'm starting to think the risks outweigh any positive consequences. it's all pretty shitty if you ask me.

[Cooky Puss]

If he wants you to have a clean colon so much, tell him to suck it out himself with a straw.

[King PSYZ]

I'm just wondering where putting a hose up your butt to suck out the poo would come up in casual conversation...

[TAL]

Maybe he wants anal sex and wants a clean pipe.
Why do you say "maybe"?

[cosmo105]

probably just because he had one and he thought it was really good for him and he wants the same for her. i doubt ruggs would date anyone that would be about the buttsecks.

[Documad]

I don't understand enemas or douches. God meant for our dirty parts to be dirty.

I won't get a manicure because of the stories about unregulated hygiene and health hazards.

My parents had the enema apparatus in the back of their bathroom cupboard when I was a kid and it made my little mind spin to try and figure out what that was about. Threw it away two weekends ago. (I also found a dead mouse in the shed who fell into a bucket and couldn't get out.) Man, I need to get going.

[cosmo105]

pour mouse :(


see, the thing is with our diet, we don't get enough fiber and our colons get nice and impacted. but instead of a quick fix like shoving a hose up there, we should just have higher fiber diets and maybe do some cleansing from time to time. but not physically. it flushes out too many of the healthy bacteria. hell, the spa next to my old store that started doing it - they were clueless. i had to tell the owner that she really needed to tell the people to get some probiotics from us afterward, and to get on a good probiotic supplement in general. she had no idea :\

[Documad]

I don't know what a probiotic is. So I looked it up on wikipedia.

"There is no published evidence that probiotic supplements are able to replace the body’s natural flora when these have been killed off. There is evidence, however, that probiotics do form beneficial temporary colonies which may assist the body in the same functions as the natural flora, while allowing the natural flora time to recover from depletion. The probiotic strains are then progressively replaced by a naturally developed gut flora. If the conditions which originally caused damage to the natural gut flora persist, the benefits obtained from probiotic supplements will be short lived."

I didn't know I had flora, natural or otherwise. :confused: By body is a complete mystery to me, which is why I abuse it so badly.

[insertnamehere]

bacteria that lives in your intestins

once i had to take super strong antibiotics and it killed my intestinal bacteria and gave me terrible diahrea and i had to eat lots of yogurt and drink buttermilk stuff with acidophilus

[CrankItUp!]

God made a man's pucker hole strictly to be wiped clean with tp after taking a good dump - AND NOTHING MORE !

[Yeti]

I'm just wondering where putting a hose up your butt to suck out the poo would come up in casual conversation...

Every other night at Turdbergler's dinner table.

[Yeti]

No, but it can lead to miscommunication.............

A man who had been doing chores around the house all day was feeling stiff and sore. His wife, who was very pleased at her husband's initiative, decided to reward him by drawing him a hot bath, serving him a nice Rye whiskey, and joining him later for some extra fun.

The husband was quite happy to be pampered in this manner, so he got in the tub, and called out for his wife to bring him his drink.

She said: If there's anything else I can do for you dear, just call for it, and I'll be happy to bring it up to you.

He let out a long bathtub fart, which produced enough stink filled bubbles to fog up the entire bathroom.

Moments later, his wife enters the room with a hot water bottle.

The confused husband looks up and says: What on earth gave you the idea that I needed a hot water bottle?

She answers: Didn't you just say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle?"

[Randetica]

im doing that from time to time
usually when my stuff stucks

[DipDipDive]

Here's a story - I got my second colonic in the evening, felt a little nauseous and had no appetite afterwards, so I went straight to bed. The next day, I woke up dizzy and disoriented and practically passed out when I got out of bed. I felt so sick that I had to call out of work. Needless to say, I didn't go back for my third session.

I almost think those treatments are more beneficial for people who already live a healthy lifestlye and eat a balanced diet with less toxins than the average person. Colonics may flush you out, but they also cause the toxins that have been dormant in your digestive system to start circulating and make you feel sick.

Listen to cosmo. If you want to cleanse your body, eat well, drink a lot of water, and change your lifestlye. The only thing colonics are really good for is awakening you to fact that you're unhealthy, but if you're considering getting it done, you probably already knew that.

[cosmo105]

Listen to cosmo.
it's true.


the horror stories i heard about colonics were pretty intense. especially the whole "water leaking out my butt and little white moving things being in the toilet" ones. but i have heard it makes your farts smell like soap. (y)

[alruggs]

okay, I've decided to fast for 3 days rather than do the water up the ass thing. I'm far more comfortable with this.

[Ace42X]

"water leaking out my butt and little white moving things being in the toilet" ones.

The flushing out of intestinal worms, you mean? Surely that is a good thing for anyone without Krohns disease or the like?

[cosmo105]

you mean Crohn's.


i highly doubt anyone with Crohn's would have intestinal parasites. they'd have nothing to hold onto. and they wouldn't get enough nutrients anyway.


flushing out intestinal parasites is good, of course. but colonics don't always get all of them - if you have hookworms, them suckers have to be surgically removed or treated with massive doses of antibiotics. herbal cleanses like clove, wormwood, and the like work well, but they take quite a bit longer.

the best defense is a good offense. don't eat like shit, and be REALLY careful in developing countries.

[jackrock]

I'm just wondering where putting a hose up your butt to suck out the poo would come up in casual conversation...
"So, did you hear about the serial killer? i hear he attacks those with unclean bums... speaking of which..."

[Ace42X]

i highly doubt anyone with Crohn's would have intestinal parasites.

Which is precisely the point. There is evidence that shows some intestinal parasite activity can remedy IBSs.

[cosmo105]

really? hrm. interesting. got a link? granted, IBS is quite a bit different from Crohn's...

both of them most likely stem from a combination of food allergies, poor diet, and antibiotic overuse anyway.

[ampm]

My cousin Mitch will do it for you for $50. If you don't mind a little rust.

[Ace42X]

really? hrm. interesting. got a link?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4091881.stm

[cosmo105]

ah, i see my misunderstanding. you said IBS. that's irritable bowel syndrome. whereas inflammatory bowel disease is usually abbreviated IBD. thanks for the link, man. always appreciate any info on ibd. (y)

edit: the end of the article is what scares me. it's a promising treatment, but what the medical community really needs to do is stop trying to cover up symptoms look at what the root causes of the disease are.

[steve-onpoint]

If I may chime in here with an alternative to a colonic since it seems appropriate.

With approximately 16oz of non-citric fruit juice or water, mix a tablespoon of each ingredient: Psyllium Husk, Hydrated Bentonite, Aloe Vera Juice, and Liquid Chlorophyll.

Be sure to drink the solution before it thickens too much (it's meant to do that in your stomach and not your throat).

You should feel a difference after doing this for a week. And be sure to drink this concoction a half hour before your first meal of the day.

If this isn't for you, you can also fast for a day on fruit only once a week.

[ASsman]

What the fuck?

[jackrock]

in this situation, you must trust what the ASsman says...

[steve-onpoint]

What the fuck?

*shrug*