did I ever tell you about this guy?

[Sarky Devotchka]

last summer I met this guy at a party and he gave me a kite, a few days later we spent his birthday together and yadda yadda yadda, he had a huge penis. anyway, he was super catholic and felt bad about us fooling around because he thought he pressured me into it. I did feel like it was kind of a weird situation that was going too fast, but it wasn't that big of a deal. anyway, he came to my art show a week later or something, we spent the whole time talking and he told me that he liked me, but he was acting weird and intimidated because I knew everyone there. also because my ex-boyfriend's band played a song about me. and he asked me why my art was so angry. and then I got offended, and we had an awkward parting. we never spoke again.

anyway, I found him on myspace and he looks cute. should I marry him?

[wrongwayandugg]

oh yeah. that sounds like it's worth it.

[CrankItUp!]

last summer I met this guy at a party and he gave me a kite, a few days later we spent his birthday together and yadda yadda yadda, he had a huge penis. anyway, he was super catholic and felt bad about us fooling around because he thought he pressured me into it. I did feel like it was kind of a weird situation that was going too fast, but it wasn't that big of a deal. anyway, he came to my art show a week later or something, we spent the whole time talking and he told me that he liked me, but he was acting weird and intimidated because I knew everyone there. also because my ex-boyfriend's band played a song about me. and he asked me why my art was so angry. and then I got offended, and we had an awkward parting. we never spoke again.

anyway, I found him on myspace and he looks cute. should I marry him?
Either you met this guy at a party or you initially met him on my space.shit....make up your fuckin' mind.

[Sarky Devotchka]

no, I mean, just found his profile on myspace. stop asking serious questions.

[CrankItUp!]

well.....schooooooooze me din !!!

[CrankItUp!]

"sarky farky is fulla malarky"

"yeah! yeah! yeah!" :p

[Sarky Devotchka]

crank it up!

[CrankItUp!]

ok! ok!

couldn't resist ! :D

[Bob]

i like the way you end your sentences sarky

[ms.peachy]

I just realised I love sarky's contributions here, because she's like a cross between a Sex and the City character who blogs and Bridget Jones on methamphetamine.

[Calimero jr.]

he had a huge penis.

That sets it. Marry him, or at least have sex with him again.

[Pres Zount]

Super catholic and on myspace?! Marry this hunk before some other lucky woman whisks him up!

[na§tee]

ha! peachy speaks the truth!
i think we all need to see the total hotttness of this guy before we can make any informed judgements.

[Qdrop]

Sarky, are you just baiting me?

[Nuzzolese]

He was brought up in a strict environment, he's consumed with guilt while moving too fast sexually, he's cute and gives innocent gifts, and he's mildly offensive. He sounds just like my type. He told you he liked you and he has a big penis - not that that's important - but I say stalk him, and drop all the other guys. And tell us more about him. He gave you a kite at the party? Why? What's he like? Is he like your other hipster doodz? It's 8:30 in the morning and this is all I care about.

[Echewta]

I have a big penis but I'm not on myspace anymore, will we never get married?

[Sarky Devotchka]

He was brought up in a strict environment, he's consumed with guilt while moving too fast sexually, he's cute and gives innocent gifts, and he's mildly offensive. He sounds just like my type. He told you he liked you and he has a big penis - not that that's important - but I say stalk him, and drop all the other guys. And tell us more about him. He gave you a kite at the party? Why? What's he like? Is he like your other hipster doodz? It's 8:30 in the morning and this is all I care about.

I hope you're serious, because I'm going to answer these questions!

he gave me the kite because he won it for dunking someone in a dunk tank that the people who hosted the party rented. then he went around the party looking for someone "worthy" to give it to. I said, "I WANT IT!!!! I AM THE BEST CHOICE!" and he said, "well, let me look around some more". then he found me again and presented it to me and we chat chat chatted. I carried it around at the party and girls were like, "oh! you got the kite! I was in the running for that, you're lucky" and I thought, "hmm, interesting". After that I lost Cort and him and his friend helped me find her, then he lost his keys and we told him and his friend to come home with us, so they did. then we all stayed up until 6 a.m. or so and talked and laughed.

anyway, he's from georgia. he makes videos, but he "hates" art, even though he has a scholarship for grad school at the art institute. he fancied himself an anti-hipster. although, by some of his pictures, it looks like the institute has influenced his hair. he used to be fat, so that carries with it some annoying insecurities along with the catholic guilt. I lost patience with that pretty quickly and my friends didn't like him very much because he wasn't friendly. maybe I'll just say "hi". ha ha. I'm reaching for companionship! oh god, some one slap me.

also, we didn't have sex, we just made out and I gave him a hand job...ordinarily I don't do that much with strangers, but I had never encountered such a perfect penis.

echewta, meet me in vegas on june 3rd ;)

[Nuzzolese]

Actually he kind of sounds like a jerk now. Why do you like him?

[Sarky Devotchka]

I don't, I'm just being stupid. it's one of those things where I enjoyed aspects of his personality very much, but the other things were just too tedious. I think he was having a hard time making friends at the time and he was sick of hipstery people and rich kids (when he came to our apartment, he was like, "how do you afford this place? daddy?" and we were like, "uh, no, we have jobs". he was super cynical and all that. yeah, nevermind, he's an ass. if he could be the kite party person all the time, it'd be great. I'm getting too old for assholes.

[paul jones]

I've got a penis

[Sarky Devotchka]

holy balls! earlier for fun, I just sent him a message that said, "how's the institute" and he wrote back saying "it's great to hear from you!" and "give me a call sometime", etc. and put his phone number.

shit, I don't know what to do now. umm. I really hadn't planned for any sort of response.

[Nuzzolese]

Try to get a frisbee this time!

[Sarky Devotchka]

good idea.

[Nuzzolese]

I knew a girl who goes to the art institute. Her name's Gianna and she's a fashion design major...or she was, the summer before last. Overweight, too much makeup, kind of annoying. ANyway...everytime I go to Chicago I think I'm going to see you just walking around, even though the odds of that are awfully low.

[Sarky Devotchka]

yeah, there's a lot of people in chicago. but you never knowwwww. I'm actually only 2 feet tall, so I'm hard to miss.

[Nuzzolese]

Hey, I acknowledge the improbability of it! I'm just saying...a girl can dream.

[Sarky Devotchka]

so I wrote back that I would call him. this is stupid. oh well. time for home depot.

[buddylee]

go with you heart, call him.

what can you loose you already gave him a hand job

[Sarky Devotchka]

my heart has little to do with this. ;)

[Bob]

then listen your...uh, hand i guess

[Randetica]

too much info

[ms.peachy]

Yeah. Penises are great. (y)

[marsdaddy]

I bet he calls you "hand job girl".

[cosmo105]

never trust people from georgia. never.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I bet he calls you "hand job girl".

hey! :( I hope not. that sounds awful. That makes it sound like I just gave him a creepy handjob in the dark without any other touching. there were kisses too! it was his birthday, come on!

hush bob.

[Bob]

it was his birthday, come on!


i must remember to try that line sometime

[Astra]

why not??? everyone needs a myspace whore for a little while